Living in the West is not for the faint of heart, the weak, or the lazy. The West, and America in particular, demands much from its citizens and seeks a populace that is flexible and ready to change.

The change wrought upon unsuspecting immigrants is enormous and often disastrous. With the aspiration to accumulate wealth, or "ego oyibo" as some call it, comes the need for hard sacrifice which is most evidently observed on the social and cultural lifestyles of we Africans.

Living in the West is very challenging because it requires adaptation, evolution, and compromise. Some of us [Africans] embark on this journey for fabulous wealth while others seek a safe place to seek refuge. However, one thing that universally affects us [Africans] is the need for adaptation culturally and socially.

Based on my own personal observations, I've noticed a few things that continue to plague we Africans in the West and especially in America.

Here are those things:

1. There is an African proverb that goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". In a society that places much of an emphasis on the nuclear family and little on the extended family, it is very difficult to raise a child [up to African standards] with the absence of the "village". If the father and mother are at work, then the child is either left to his/her own care or the care of a babysitter. Such a condition does not support the passage of lineal knowledge, advice, and proverbs as is customary in most African cultures.

2. In a country where most people speak only one language (like America), it would be very difficult for one to properly allow his/her children to grow well acquainted with their native tongue, unless of course great care is taken. As for us Nigerians, the shameful truth is that many of our children born and raised in the diaspora are unable to communicate with us in their native tongues.

3. When a child is born, he/she immediately takes a liken to his/her immediate locality. We Africans (in my opinion) must continue to remind ourselves and our children that we are mere visitors and not settlers. I've seen too many cases in which an Amercan-born African child is rarely taken home by the parents but then, when marriage comes around, is forced to search home for a spouse. If your child cannot even say the name of his community, then don't expect him/her to marry from there when the time comes.

Although the dangers are many, living in the West can be rewarding if approached properly. I'd like to hear some of you guys' ideas/responses/attitudes.

You can't eat your cake and have it.

odumchi: Based on my own personal observations, I've noticed a few things that continue to plague we Africans in the West and especially in America.

Here are those things:

1. There is an African proverb that goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". In a society that places much of an emphasis on the nuclear family and little on the extended family, it is very difficult to raise a child [up to African standards] with the absence of the "village". If the father and mother are at work, then the child is either left to his/her own care or the care of a babysitter. Such a condition does not support the passage of lineal knowledge, advice, and proverbs as is customary in most African cultures.

2. In a country where most people speak only one language (like America), it would be very difficult for one to properly allow his/her children to grow well acquainted with their native tongue, unless of course great care is taken. As for us Nigerians, the shameful truth is that many of our children born and raised in the diaspora are unable to communicate with us in their native tongues.

3. When a child is born, he/she immediately takes a liken to his/her immediate locality. We Africans (in my opinion) must continue to remind ourselves and our children that we are mere visitors and not settlers. I've seen too many cases in which an Amercan-born African child is rarely taken home by the parents but then, when marriage comes around, is forced to search home for a spouse. If your child cannot even say the name of his community, then don't expect him/her to marry from there when the time comes.

Although the dangers are many, living in the West can be rewarding if approached properly. I'd like to hear some of you guys' ideas/responses/attitudes.

Are you sure you're still in high school, Odumchi?? You're too freaking brilliant and knowledgeable to be in high school...

You're my darg, and I admire your mentality...

Nice and thought provoking post, keep it up, fam..

Ironi: You can't eat your cake and have it.

Depends mostly on the way you go about it or handle the situation you find yourself when you migrate.
I really don`t see why anyone should complain when they`ve made their choice in the first instance.

Solutions?

Survival is about adaptation.It is about natural selection,it doesn't matter where you are,africa or europe,the need to stay alive mean that you have to make the right moves.

First of all, Language evolves. And if you think anyone can keep a particular language for a long time then u're making a mistake. To make a child learn his language seems pointless when he is born and raised in a different culture. Taking them home doesn't make much sense either because they are only linked to their heritage by birth and nothing else. An American born/raised African is in fact an American and not African

Take an African child born and raised in a western country and compare to one raised in Africa. It will be quite obvious they will be very different individuals culture-wise. One system isnt clearly better than the other by mere inspection. What works in a certain society should stay there

Preservation of culture is an illusion. Culture has always evolved and will continue to do so, our ability to adapt and make the most of it is what differentiate success from epic fail

odumchi: Living in the West is not for the faint of heart, the weak, or the lazy. The West, and America in particular, demands much from its citizens and seeks a populace that is flexible and ready to change.

The change wrought upon unsuspecting immigrants is enormous and often disastrous. With the aspiration to accumulate wealth, or "ego oyibo" as some call it, comes the need for hard sacrifice which is most evidently observed on the social and cultural lifestyles of we Africans.

Living in the West is very challenging because it requires adaptation, evolution, and compromise. Some of us [Africans] embark on this journey for fabulous wealth while others seek a safe place to seek refuge. However, one thing that universally affects us [Africans] is the need for adaptation culturally and socially.

NOT ANYMORE. THE WEST IS BROKE. AFRICANS ARE ALL RUNNING BACK TO AFRICA

Sometimes u need divine wisdom .........

Nice topic and i should say that yes, you are right in what you said but i will go with the poster that said you cannot eat your cake and have it. The only solution is to minimize the effect the new environment has on you if you hope to retain your own culture or way of life. You have to compromise at some point because the more cake you eat the less you can have of it and i think community effort will help in retaining your cultural values and not individualistic efforts.

From the movies i watch of american citizens, i think the Asians and Latinos somehow still preserve their cultural aspects better than emigrated Africans in america. I think mostly there is no time to impact the cultural values on the young ones because the parents are busy. They might not be from the same ethnic group and also the peer group of these kids are from mixed cultures so everyone is likely to communicate in English language when in the school or streets.

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odumchi: Based on my own personal observations, I've noticed a few things that continue to plague we Africans in the West and especially in America.

Here are those things:

1. There is an African proverb that goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". In a society that places much of an emphasis on the nuclear family and little on the extended family, it is very difficult to raise a child [up to African standards] with the absence of the "village". If the father and mother are at work, then the child is either left to his/her own care or the care of a babysitter. Such a condition does not support the passage of lineal knowledge, advice, and proverbs as is customary in most African cultures.

2. In a country where most people speak only one language (like America), it would be very difficult for one to properly allow his/her children to grow well acquainted with their native tongue, unless of course great care is taken. As for us Nigerians, the shameful truth is that many of our children born and raised in the diaspora are unable to communicate with us in their native tongues.

3. When a child is born, he/she immediately takes a liken to his/her immediate locality. We Africans (in my opinion) must continue to remind ourselves and our children that we are mere visitors and not settlers. I've seen too many cases in which an Amercan-born African child is rarely taken home by the parents but then, when marriage comes around, is forced to search home for a spouse. If your child cannot even say the name of his community, then don't expect him/her to marry from there when the time comes.

Although the dangers are many, living in the West can be rewarding if approached properly. I'd like to hear some of you guys' ideas/responses/attitudes.

1. When I grew up in Nigeria, both my parents were (and are still) working. No village took care of me. Every family on the street would mind their business. I dont think I turned out too bad.

2. Does Obama speak Kenyanese? I dont think he turned out bad.

3. I am not a visitor, I have infact settled, call this place home and I have no plans to go back. My children were born here and will live their lives here. They are not visitors, they are indigenous.

Blending and sifting through cultures is like heaven.It means being above taboos.

Nice thread. But why must you follow the african way of doing it while living in the West?

I think it is the reason why they get african child so twisted. my culture my culture only for the child to get to college and let loose. go to campus and see the ones their parents try to raise the african way in America sigh .

Raise your child to follow the good of the environment you live in.

African culture is not all that. what culture, the one that pick the boys over girls? one that beat the crap out of you for some minor mistake? one that rap.e girls and film it? the african culture is drawing people back if you ask me.

culture culture is all i hear but i don't see some good thing coming out of it. the West isn't that bad as long as you don't pursue money to the extend of forgetting to smell the roses.

lol... incoherent rants of a nigerian stuck abroad who has probably not been home for over a decade. odumchi is just missing home and people who rant like this are those who don’t go home regularly. nigerians in the diaspora who touch base regularly would not rant like this.

and to counter ur main arguments, there are lots of nigerians raised in nigeria who cannot speak their language especially kids of the so-called elites. the era of it takes 'a village to raise a child' is long gone as most nigerians no longer live in villages but in cities.. and the crown it all, the ecomonic situation in nigeria does not help matters. the average nigerian can hardly take care of his immediate family not to talk of taking on another's man child, so the modern proverb is 'on your own' and nigerian families are very nuclear these days as nobody wan carry overload.

odumchi, i know u are missing ur akpu and oha soup. so what u need to do, is buy a plane ticket and go home. try touch base this year, u hear? xmas and new year is around the corner!!

Nice thread but we should be focusing on making Nigeria a better place rather than making plans to live in the West.

ezotik, i agree. that takes a village to raise a child will not work. i mean if you have money, contribute to your society/community.

why must i expect the village to help raise my child?

see as those villager raising the child also molesting the child without parents knowing.

well, odi egwu.

MacDaddy01: Nice thread but we should be focusing on making Nigeria a better place rather than making plans to live in the West.

odumchi: Based on my own personal observations, I've noticed a few things that continue to plague we Africans in the West and especially in America.
continue to remind ourselves and our children that we are mere visitors and not settlers. /attitudes.

I agree with the rest except the one above.I think where a man calls home is his home.A child that was born and raised in a certain country you can tell him that he or she is a settler!No.You can definitely remind him of where you come from like i have noticed with Iranian immigrants.
For the rest i think it is only normal...I mean going a different place with entirely different culture it is just the challenge one will meet.

And what do you say about someone who moves from his/her local village and i meant a village in a village to live in a city like lagos where yoruba language is like a do or die thing ? Do u advice that ? uh ?

Let's stop kidding ourselves; nigerian culture is over hyped! We diasporans like to think we morally better off or our culture is sooo much better dan dat of Americans. If we have such a great culture, why isn't it reflected in our society? Why is Nigeria sooo corrupt? Why do we leave 80% of our society in abject poverty? Why are our leaders; even just regular citizens sooo corrupt? I just got back to Nigeria barely less than a year and been scammed/duped by my best childhood friend (she doesn't pick my calls or returns my BB msgs anymore cos she is ashamed; dis is a girl from a notable family for dat matter). I am sorry to say if u r a diasporan, u really need to come home to see dat we really hv no values in this society anymore. Girls use their bodies to get high marks in unis, even d married girls r on parole, ppl marry for d wrong reasons, d private schools cost as much as american schools but d standard is about 60% close to wat u get in d US, d kids only respect ppl with a lil money, actually every1 here respect only ppl with a lil change; bottomline is I don't know what Nigerian values r...
Americans have a sense of who they are and where they want to be...we know American ideals of Dignity, self respect, hard work, innovation, entrepreneurship, human rights and equal opportunity for all. What are Nigerian ideals? Do we have any? Or are we just fantasizing about family/villages raising kids? How many little kids in Nigeria have d level of advanced thinking an average 5yr old american has? How come we glorify scammers/get rich quick no matter d means men here in Nigeria? We call d scammed maga (I wasn't even greedy when I got scammed...long story for another day).
As I said b4, I have been here less than a year, and I hv concluded dat dis is not d Nigeria I used to know; frankly this is not d type of society where I would love to raise a kid. I want my kids to be exposed to science, innovation, diverse cultures; I want them to know what real love is..., I want them to learn to love ppl for who they are and learn to stand up for what is right...dats not very possible here.
D orientation here is of very low quality. No surprise we r where we r.

there are kids born in nigeria that cant speak their native language,
the ultimate goal in life is archieving true happiness,no matter where you live or the culture you associate with.
life is too short for us to be worring about peti-`peti issues.

norrisman:
2. Does Obama speak Kenyanese? I dont think he turned out bad.

correction.There is no such language.Kenyans speak swahili and english as national languages plus a native language.
obama would be speaking luo,swahili and english if he hd grown up in kenya. 50% of young people cannot speak their native language because of culture mix not as a result of western influence.
At the current rate, native languages will be wiped out.

Preservation of one's culture while in diaspora is a very difficult thing because you are immersed in a totally different environment with different cultural values.You cannot afford to resist the new culture 100% rather you adapt to it for survival otherwise there would be a cultural clash. The percentage of adaptation is dependent on your religion, population of your tribesmen in your locality and your willingness to adapt or resist.But I think the middle easterners and a couple of other Asians are more resistant to cultural change than Africans.

Western culture is extremely dominant in this century that it is very easy to be tempted to join the matrix. Their culture they carry first and it leads while others follows. China and the rest of them are now trying to battle that. That is y the west is not all
Wealthy as it used to be because china is producing nearly everything and every where you go they try to impose there cultural identity by having some sort of chinatown so that they will be grounded. Western culture is organized but it is really a zombie system every one knows his place and they try as much as possible to limit outsiders from joining. It is alot easier to make money in naija but life overseas is more comfortable with the same amount. The reason is government does everything possible to creAte enabling environment all you have to do is pay on time and if you dont pay. You will see there trouble, court will begin to send you letter to defend yourself
And the fine they will nack on your head will be times 3 the amount. And u know say oga i beg no dey. That one alone trying to bribe a public officer is jail for u. The real truth is if you leave in the west you might not become rich but u will be comfortable, and that is if you have papers. Anyway when ever in the west always connect back to home or the roots to keep u grounded and remembering where u came from. The people who suffer are children born abroad cOs they don't know which to follow
Western culture where as a child you can arrest your father for slapping you or naija culture

pufectskin: Let's stop kidding ourselves; nigerian culture is over hyped! We diasporans like to think we morally better off or our culture is sooo much better dan dat of Americans. If we have such a great culture, why isn't it reflected in our society? Why is Nigeria sooo corrupt? Why do we leave 80% of our society in abject poverty? Why are our leaders; even just regular citizens sooo corrupt? I just got back to Nigeria barely less than a year and been scammed/duped by my best childhood friend (she doesn't pick my calls or returns my BB msgs anymore cos she is ashamed; dis is a girl from a notable family for dat matter). I am sorry to say if u r a diasporan, u really need to come home to see dat we really hv no values in this society anymore. Girls use their bodies to get high marks in unis, even d married girls r on parole, ppl marry for d wrong reasons, d private schools cost as much as american schools but d standard is about 60% close to wat u get in d US, d kids only respect ppl with a lil money, actually every1 here respect only ppl with a lil change; bottomline is I don't know what Nigerian values r...
Americans have a sense of who they are and where they want to be...we know American ideals of Dignity, self respect, hard work, innovation, entrepreneurship, human rights and equal opportunity for all. What are Nigerian ideals? Do we have any? Or are we just fantasizing about family/villages raising kids? How many little kids in Nigeria have d level of advanced thinking an average 5yr old american has? How come we glorify scammers/get rich quick no matter d means men here in Nigeria? We call d scammed maga (I wasn't even greedy when I got scammed...long story for another day).
As I said b4, I have been here less than a year, and I hv concluded dat dis is not d Nigeria I used to know; frankly this is not d type of society where I would love to raise a kid. I want my kids to be exposed to science, innovation, diverse cultures; I want them to know what real love is..., I want them to learn to love ppl for who they are and learn to stand up for what is right...dats not very possible here.
D orientation here is of very low quality. No surprise we r where we r.

You're not making any sense at all... Maybe, you need to study why Nigeria is the way it is, before posting your skewed assertions...

Why is Nigeria so corrupt?? Has it ever occurred to you that the whole country is in shambles because of the system of government we practice - and over imitation of western culture on the Nigerian mentality

What's the Nigerian identity?? What should have been the Nigerian identity with it roots in our various cultures has been eroded by western influence - and we don't even know who we're anymore - we're just a bunch of headless chickens trying to fit in somewhere... Don't blame the culture for that - blame the people and their over imitation of everything 'western' at the expense of the Nigerian culture(s)...

The balderdash you posted has nothing to do with the culture - but the people, who have no sense of belonging and are trying too hard to be everything but Nigerian...

I have seen ur posts in dis forum, and arguing with u is like talking to a table. You cannot make urr points without calling ppl names or being overtly insulting. I am going to ignore you from now on.

shymexx:

You're not making any sense at all... Maybe, you need to study why Nigeria is the way it is, before posting your skewed assertions...

Why is Nigeria so corrupt?? Has it ever occurred to you that the whole country is in shambles because of the system of government we practice - and over imitation of western culture on the Nigerian mentality

What's the Nigerian identity?? What should have been the Nigerian identity with it roots in our various cultures has been eroded by western influence - and we don't even know who we're anymore - we're just a bunch of headless chickens trying to fit in somewhere... Don't blame the culture for that - blame the people and their over imitation of everything 'western' at the expense of the Nigerian culture(s)...

The balderdash you posted has nothing to do with the culture - but the people, who have no sense of belonging and are trying too hard to be everything but Nigerian...

pufectskin: I have seen ur posts in dis forum, and arguing with u is like talking to a table. You cannot make urr points without calling ppl names or being overtly insulting. I am going to ignore you from now on.

Listen, who cares about what an ignorant kiddo has to say?? You can even write proper English yet you know Nigerian culture is messed up.. Fvck off!!

And are you not a lesbian?? Rich coming from a she-faggit..

Hell yeah, I insult people like you with cavemen mentality - and I'm shrewd... I can't stand stupid people with the IQ of a down syndrome having eunuch..

EagleNest: Preservation of one's culture while in diaspora is a very difficult thing because you are immersed in a totally different environment with different cultural values.You cannot afford to resist the new culture 100% rather you adapt to it for survival otherwise there would be a cultural clash. The percentage of adaptation is dependent on your religion, population of your tribesmen in your locality and your willingness to adapt or resist.But I think the middle easterners and a couple of other Asians are more resistant to cultural change than Africans.

To be honest, I see more of a concerted effort to preserve African culture outside Africa than I observe on every trip back home.
This, I think, is the point @purfectskin was trying to get across.

I think it's only natural for humans to be appreciative of the country that gave them the opportunity to become who they are. That's why Immigrants especially those from Africa have become so immersed in the culture of their immediate environment which sometimes leads to an apathy or sometimes of their home country. The problem being that unlike Asians and Latinos who live in other countries, Africans don't build a community where they can interact with other Africans on a daily basis and thereby preserve their culture which in turn makes them to be interested and aware of what's going on back home.