i had to create this thread due to a personal experience, hopefully the affected persons might be able to learn from one or two valid comments.

background:
she is 35yrs old, and has jst received her 4th proposal from a guy she loves, problem is her parents insists that she must marry from her state, this is why her previous proposals were refused and she had to end the relationships, because shes afraid of being cut off from her parents dough,and her church requires a letter of consent before she can get married, unfortunately this new dud is also not from her tribe.
so the question are
1. Is parental consent really necessary
2. at what age is parental consent no longer required
3. what is the impact of marrying without parental consent
4. at what age is one really an adult under the Nigeria setting.
what advise would u give the couple. Thanks

snthesis: i had to create this thread due to a personal experience, hopefully the affected persons might be able to learn from one or two valid comments.

background:
she is 35yrs old, and has jst received her 4th proposal from a guy she loves, problem is her parents insists that she must marry from her state, this is why her previous proposals were refused and she had to end the relationships, because shes afraid of being cut off from her parents dough,and her church requires a letter of consent before she can get married, unfortunately this new dud is also not from her tribe.
so the question are
1. Is parental consent really necessary
2. at what age is parental consent no longer required
3. what is the impact of marrying without parental consent
4. at what age is one really an adult under the Nigeria setting.
what advise would u give the couple. Thanks

Say what??!!

No problem, by the time she clocks 50'oclock, her parent will even manage dwarf from Togo.

snthesis: i had to create this thread due to a personal experience, hopefully the affected persons might be able to learn from one or two valid comments.

background:
she is 35yrs old, and has jst received her 4th proposal from a guy she loves, problem is her parents insists that she must marry from her state, this is why her previous proposals were refused and she had to end the relationships, because shes afraid of being cut off from her parents dough,and her church requires a letter of consent before she can get married, unfortunately this new dud is also not from her tribe.
so the question are
1. Is parental consent really necessary
2. at what age is parental consent no longer required
3. what is the impact of marrying without parental consent
4. at what age is one really an adult under the Nigeria setting.
what advise would u give the couple. Thanks

The lady should go to other relatives and let them know that she's going to get married within the next month as she has been adopted by her neighbours who are willing to sign every document she wants. Print a very nice IV O.

@Poster, the woman you described seems to be want her parents wealth a lot for her to refuse 3 requests before now. So, it is probably safe to say that she was not, herself, ready for marriage the 3 previous times, and if she chooses her parents money over this fourth, she is probably still not ready for it.
Probably good for her and those who had asked her hand prior. The last thing I would advice her to do is jump into marriage before she is ready, and those men are probably happier that she didn't do it with them either.

Age should not be the major decider when it comes to marriage. Many more people, especially out in the west, are waiting to marry for good reason. The high divorce rate is enough of a reason to realize you do not chose to marry simply because you have reached a certain age. You wait to make sure you are mentally and physically ready to bear the burden.

Parental consent should not also be considered major deciders when it comes to marriage. That is why in many cultures, the law at least requires that the decision to marry be that of adults, so they can be sure to decide on their own if they want to marry or not. Whether you get parental consent or not, you will be the one to bear 100% of the consequence of that choice. Your parents will never be able to, not even your friends.

snthesis: i had to create this thread due to a personal experience, hopefully the affected persons might be able to learn from one or two valid comments.

background:
she is 35yrs old, and has jst received her 4th proposal from a guy she loves, problem is her parents insists that she must marry from her state, this is why her previous proposals were refused and she had to end the relationships, because shes afraid of being cut off from her parents dough,and her church requires a letter of consent before she can get married, unfortunately this new dud is also not from her tribe.
so the question are
1. Is parental consent really necessary
2. at what age is parental consent no longer required
3. what is the impact of marrying without parental consent
4. at what age is one really an adult under the Nigeria setting.
what advise would u give the couple. Thanks

Which church is that

It's a BIG lie!

No age is too old to seek parental consent, that being said,all this u must marry from your state irritates me!, bunch of tribalistic human beings. Ehn! Back to the topic, she should have a serious talk with her folks, if they still don't agree then she should go ahead and marry this man, with time they'll come back to her, this issue has happened to my relatives countless times and they always end up marrying their own choice regardless of the state or the parental consent. For instance my mum never liked my ex, but I let her know I that if I end up marrying him, na me go suffer or enjoy o!the ball is in your friend's court, btw there are plenty of churches out there all na the same God.

Sisi_Kill:

Say what??!!

firm requirement from RCCG

snthesis:
firm requirement from RCCG

um . . . I happen to frequent the local RCCG church here, and I can state for a fact that there is no such document church-wide. Matter of fact, the pastor here makes sure to tell people looking to get married that marrying with parental consent or in the church is not the key to marriage and will certainly not preclude the marriage from harm.

Kobojunkie:

um . . . I happen to frequent the local RCCG church here, and I can state for a fact that there is no such document church-wide. Matter of fact, the pastor here makes sure to tell people looking to get married that marrying with parental consent or in the church is not the key to marriage and will certainly not preclude the marriage from harm.

ask any member of RCCG within Nigeria

snthesis: i had to create this thread due to a personal experience, hopefully the affected persons might be able to learn from one or two valid comments.

background:
she is 35yrs old, and has jst received her 4th proposal from a guy she loves, problem is her parents insists that she must marry from her state, this is why her previous proposals were refused and she had to end the relationships, because shes afraid of being cut off from her parents dough,and her church requires a letter of consent before she can get married, unfortunately this new dud is also not from her tribe.
so the question are
1. Is parental consent really necessary
2. at what age is parental consent no longer required
3. what is the impact of marrying without parental consent
4. at what age is one really an adult under the Nigeria setting.
what advise would u give the couple. Thanks

the woman is only 35 on paper, her real age must be 9. seeking parental consent till all her eggs become weak and expired? advise her to go to oshodi and hire people who can stand as her parents. if her parents are well known in the community and using actors would not work, let her go out of state and get married - better still, get pregnant!

@OP
that woman must be EXTRA STOOPID!!!!!!
if the first proposal was refused because the guy wasnt from the same state, then why the hell did she date 2 different guy who are in the same situation? after the first refusal she should have known that ONLY A GUY FROM HER STATE SHOULD BE EVALUATED!

if she brought 3 different men from out of state, expecting a different result, then she just defined INSANITY or STOOPIDITY (you choose).

as for parental consent, then it doesnt really matter what WE think as this gal values it, so let her solve the issue by dating a GUY FROM HER STATE!

snthesis:
firm requirement from RCCG

It has to be that her parents are BIG DONORS in the church and not wanting to offend the goose who lays the golden egg by marrying their daughter, they whipped this flimsy consent for excuse. . . that's gotta be it because the alternative? Well it is just unthinkable.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
that woman must be EXTRA STOOPID!!!!!!
if the first proposal was refused because the guy wasnt from the same state, then why the hell did she date 2 different guy who are in the same situation? after the first refusal she should have known that ONLY A GUY FROM HER STATE SHOULD BE EVALUATED!

if she brought 3 different men from out of state, expecting a different result, then she just defined INSANITY or STOOPIDITY (you choose).

as for parental consent, then it doesnt really matter what WE think as this gal values it, so let her solve the issue by dating a GUY FROM HER STATE!

there must be an acute shortage of eligible bachelors in her state.

Don't people have issues!
smh.sickening

coogar:

there must be an acute shortage of eligible bachelors in her state.

or an acute shortage of intelligence brain cell in her brain!

Kobojunkie:

um . . . I happen to frequent the local RCCG church here, and[b] I can state for a fact that there is no such document church-wide[/b]. Matter of fact, the pastor here makes sure to tell people looking to get married that marrying with parental consent or in the church is not the key to marriage and will certainly not preclude the marriage from harm.

Cross check your fact. I can tell you categorically(from experience too) that it is a requirement from RCCG before the counselling process starts.

chiteny:
Cross check your fact. I can tell you categorically(from experience too) that it is a requirement from RCCG before the counselling process starts.

No it is not. Matter of fact, most times family is not there to give consent so I don't know why people have this stuck together bits of how life ought to be dictated, not by the Bible, but by gods they have made out of flesh and blood for themselves.

Kobojunkie:

No it is not. Matter of fact, most times family is not there to give consent so I don't know why people have this stuck together bits of how life ought to be dictated, not by the Bible, but by gods they have made out of flesh and blood for themselves.

It is my dear. I am not telling you what i heard but what i experienced. I guess it is needed for record keeping and proof of parental consent before conducting the marriage. Yes you can't find this in scriptures but i guess its for defense sake (someone might come accusing the church tomorrow that they were not authorized to conduct the marriage. What proof will they have unless something written?).

If the parents are not alive, someone that could stand (especially a male member) could fill in the gap.

chiteny:

It is my dear. I am not telling you what i heard but what i experienced. I guess it is needed for record keeping and proof of parental consent before conducting the marriage. Yes you can't find this in scriptures but i guess its for defense sake (someone might come accusing the church tomorrow that they were not authorized to conduct the marriage. What proof will they have unless something written?).

If the parents are not alive, someone that could stand (especially a male member) could fill in the gap.

Keep proof of parental consent for what reason exactly? Is this primary school or something? ROFLMAO!!!

Seriously, the kind of pastors you have in Nigeria will never work outside of Nigeria. Why? Because people outside of that continent even know they deserve better treatment. RCCG here does not have such a form for people to fill.

Sisi_Kill:

It has to be that her parents are BIG DONORS in the church and not wanting to offend the goose who lays the golden egg by marrying their daughter, they whipped this flimsy consent for excuse. . . that's gotta be it because the alternative? Well it is just unthinkable.

In an ideal world should those 2 words be in the same sentence .....this is not poliics WTF

horny4u:

In an ideal world should those 2 words be in the same sentence .....this is not poliics WTF

^^^

MRbrownJAY: @OP
that woman must be EXTRA STOOPID!!!!!!
if the first proposal was refused because the guy wasnt from the same state, then why the hell did she date 2 different guy who are in the same situation? after the first refusal she should have known that ONLY A GUY FROM HER STATE SHOULD BE EVALUATED!

if she brought 3 different men from out of state, expecting a different result, then she just defined INSANITY or STOOPIDITY (you choose).

as for parental consent, then it doesnt really matter what WE think as this gal values it, so let her solve the issue by dating a GUY FROM HER STATE!

u talk like falling in love with sum1 is calculated?

chiteny:

It is my dear. I am not telling you what i heard but what i experienced. I guess it is needed for record keeping and proof of parental consent before conducting the marriage. Yes you can't find this in scriptures but i guess its for defense sake (someone might come accusing the church tomorrow that they were not authorized to conduct the marriage. What proof will they have unless something written?).

If the parents are not alive, someone that could stand (especially a male member) could fill in the gap.

but the parents are alive, if she goes ahead- does it mean she is disowning her parents?

snthesis: u talk like falling in love with sum1 is calculated?

falling in love with someone is NOT calculated but engaging in a r/ship with such person IS. so it's all down to your level of maturity. if you meet someone, KNOW they are not right for you, but decide to go in a r/ship with them because your HEART tells you to, then the joke is on YOU, as you should have listened to you damn BRAIN!

MRbrownJAY:

falling in love with someone is NOT calculated but engaging in a r/ship with such person IS. so it's all down to your level of maturity. if you meet someone, KNOW they are not right for you, but decide to go in a r/ship with them because your HEART tells you to, then the joke is on YOU, as you should have listened to you damn BRAIN!

so a relationship is all about the brain, what if u have no choice?

snthesis:
u talk like falling in love with sum1 is calculated?

In your friend's case, she seems to be doing some calculating so one has to ask if she is falling in love as she claims.

Let the guy claim he is from the state na.

That he was conceived/born at the NYSC camp in the state. Or would the parent also require a Birth certificate?

She can also hire parents, For a good amount I can hook her up with good "parents" or I can even adopt her as my first daughter and be her father

snthesis:
so a relationship is all about the brain, what if u have no choice?

no no, dont get me wrong, a relationship is 50% heart-50% brain......and the minute your heart start misbehave, then you override whatever signals your heart is sending, and instead FULLY use your brain to judge the situation.

a person who says they had "no choice", is a person saying that: at a point of time, their brain was not functioning lol.......and we all know that it aint the truth. your brain ALWAYS sends you the right signal, but its just that some people are quick to disregard them because of love. their choice, their mistake!

the dad says he wouldnt attend the wedding ceremony if she goes ahead.