A man and his wife
were having "s*x" in
their bedroom when
their 6year-old son Chidi
suddenly bagged in2 d
room. On seeing his son,
the man didn't pretend
as if noting was going
on, he continued doing
what he was doing; d
curious Chidi has stood 4
a while watching his
parents nd needed 2
ask questions 2
offcourse his dad, dis
was wat transpired:-
CHIDI:Dad, "wat are u
doing 2 mum?" DAD:"Am
trying 2 pour some
petrol inside ur mum's
engine", CHIDI:Wow!
"Its lyk mum's engine is
very deep 4 it 2 still
require more nd more
petrol bkos uncle Mike
poured some of his own
petrol last week, nd a
stranger did dsame jst
2days ago" DAD:"You
don't mean it! Wat did u
say?" CHIDI:Ofcourse i
do..wat i jst told u was
exactly wat
happened"...D man was
very furious, he then
looked @ his wife nd
asked her "Woman! {no
more d sweetheart or
honey names again},
wat Chidi jst said, is it
true?" D man didn't knw
he was asking a
partially dead human
such question bkos his
wife had already fainted
on hearing wat Chidi
said..

PSALM 23 IN PIDGIN ENGLISH:

1. The Lord na my
shephard, i dey kampe.
2. E make me sidon for
where betta dey flow
and come put me next
to stream make mai
bodi thermacool.
3. E panel beat mai soul
come spray am white,
come dey lead me dey
go through express
road of righteousness
sake of Hin name.
4. Walahi !, if I waka
pass where arm robber,
419 and juju people
boku, come even join
okada reach valley of
the shadow of death
sef, mai bodi dey inside
cloth. Your rod and staff
nko ? Na so dem dey
like back bone dey
comfort me.
5. You don prepare Egusi
and Pounded yam make
I chop. All mai enemies
dey look waa waa. You
rub me for head wit
vaseline intensive lotion.
mai cup na River Niger
wey overflow hin bank.
6. True true, betta life
and mercy go gum mai
back till I quench. And
man pikin go tanda for
God house from lai lai to
lai lai.

A blind man went to a
restaurant . "Menu sir?"
Asked the
owner. "I'm
blind. Just bring me one
of your dirty
forks.. I will
smell it & order." The
confused owner got a
fork.
The blind man smelt the
fork with a
deep breath.
"Yes, I will have
the lamb with seasoned
potatoes
and spring vegetables
"Unbelievable! " thought
the owner. The blind
man ate
and left.2
weeks later the blind
man returned.
The owner,
wanting to see how
good his smell is,
quickly went to the
kitchen where his wife
Brenda
was cooking.
He said, "Do me a favor
and rub this
fork over
your
privates!!", which she
does! He then goes to
the
blind man and gives him
the fork. The
blind man
takes it, puts it to his
nose and says "Oh
interesting..!! ! , I never
knew Brenda worked
here!! :
Owner fainted...

A guy and his girlfriend were having fun, here was their conversation:-
Girl: Honey i need 5
tins from you
Guy: Ask me anytin
dear
Girl: 1) need money
for brazillian hair,
just 45,000 naira
2)need to change my
bb to a bold 5, just
96,000 naira
3) honey i want to
rent a new
apartment near my
school, its just
175,000 naira a year
4) i need to buy a my
creams, perfume,
powder, just 53,000
naira
5)finally honey u
know i love , i need
money to send to
my dad
{the man now being in a state of confusion exclaimed unconsciously}
Guy: Jesus, u mean u
have a father

A man forgets to
zip up his trouser
so a lady says to
him "Sir u left ur
GARAGE open". D
man gave her a
naughty smile as
he zips up and
asks, "Did u see my
BLACK JEEP parked
inside?". The
woman smiles
back and
says.....Nooo just a
KEKE NAPEP with
two flat tyres....

At a mosques fund
raising ceremony
for a bigger
mosque. Many
guests that could
not come sent
cheques. The Alfa
read out the
donations and this
is what happened:
Alh Bali 2million
Allau Akbar.
Alh Dosumu N20million
Allah Akbar!!
When
he saw the next
cheque, he paused
and appeared
confused, then he
screamed.
Alh D-A-
N-G-O-T-E N800
million! PRAISE D
LORD! and all the
Muslims replied
HALLELUYAH!

TEACHER:Ok,class lets
show d principal and our
guest hw far we've
gone dis yr,lets do
comparism so if i say
small,u say
smaller ,smallest
[student nods].
TEACHER:Big
CLASS:Bigger,biggest
TEACHER:Clean
CLASS:Cleaner,cleanest
TEACHER:Tall
CLASS:Taller,tallest
TEACHER
SMILES)VERY GUD
CLASS:Very guder,very
gudest
TEACHER:Oh gush
CLASS:Oh gusher,oh
gushest
TEACHER:Stop it now
CLASS:Stop it
nower,stop it nowest
TEACHER:Oh please
CLASS:Oh pleaser,oh
pleasest
TEACHER:Look at me
CLASS:Look at me-
er,look at me-est
TEACHER:Wot a disgrace
CLASS:wot a
disgracer,wot a
disgracest
TEACHER:[FURIOUS]I
don die
CLASS:I don dier,i don
diest
TEACHER FAINTS

The Students of Urhobo
collage Warri went on an
excursion to Egypt. On
one of the tombs of a
certain Pharaoh was
written 1102BC. The
Teacher now asked;
''Who knows what this
means''? No one raised
his/her hand except
Akpos, teacher was not
comfortable & pretend
not to take notice, she
asked again & yet only
Akpos's hand was up.
So she allowed him
answer. Behold Akpos's
said, ''Na him BB PIN"

A woman bought a
crate of egg nd
unfortunately dere was
notin in d shell..she
smashed all nd yet she
saw notin.she went
back 2 where she
bought d eggs.when she
got 2 d poultry,2 hens
came out nd said:una no
know say we don do
family planning?

An old woman boarded
a bus to lagos frm
calabar told d driver;
"Driver, if u reach Benin
tell me o!"
The driver nodded and
then she shouted again
"My children,una hear
wetin I tell am?"
Everybod
y responded "YES MA".
On d long journey to
lagos,everybody slept
off but this woman
didn't. They never knew
she wouldn't recognize
Benin if they reached
there.
After several hours of
driving and lagos was
closeby and Benin
(Already 4hrs behind),
the poor woman then
asked;
"Driver, u neva reach
benin ni?"
"Ooooh!!" The driver
exclaimed; "Madam
Benin is like 4hrs behind
us".
The woman started
crying "Take me back to
Benin abeg I no wan
wahala o!!!"
After all was said, and
considering the fact
that she was an old
woman, everyone
agreed that the driver
should turn back to
Benin.
On getting to Benin, the
driver came down,
opened the door of the
bus and told the woman
the had arrived in Benin.
Th woman simply
opened her hand bag,
brought out a sachet of
panadol, removed 2
tablets and swallowd
dem with water.
She then smiled and
said,"Na my daughter
say if I reach Benin,
make I take 2 tablets
of panadol. Oya! Make
we dey go
Lagos.

Two guys raped a
princess. When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment. The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as
they can to bail
themselves.
The first one went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into
his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess. The guy screamed and shouted throughout the
insertion. Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the
guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.
He pointed ahead and said,
"Look at my friend
(Akpos), he is bringing
WATER MELONs." lol

Nigerian policeman
arrested a man
urinating at a
place clearly marked, "Do not
urinate here, fine N500. The offender gives the policeman a N1000 note, The policeman turns
around, fumbles a bit and says to the man, 'Oga now, urinate again, I don't have change...'

bundle of dry jokes

If U can answer these
questions Then u
smarter than google
1. Swimming is a good
exercise 2 stay fit,
while are whales Fat??
2.Shall I say there is
racial discrimination in
the game of chess as
the white piece is
moved first
3.if we have freedom of
speech why do we have
telephone bills
4.if money doesn't grow
on tree, why do banks
have branches?
5.Y doesn't glue stick to
it's container??
6.if u aren't suppose to
drink n drive why do bar
have parking lots??
7.if abbreviation is to
make words short, why
is abbreviation such a
long word?
8.If attendance at an
event is strictly by
invitation why publicize
it on TV?
9.If towels are meant
to dry our clean bodies
after bathing, why
wash towels? Where do
their dirt come from?
10. FINISHED!!!

hottprince: bundle of dry jokes

FOOL! Is it a must that you must comment on any thread?

@ OP,
Good work. Keep it up

Wazobia, just free the guy. By the name you referred him to, you should know the best answer to give to him.

There waz dz lady she
went 2 a plaza and she
saw a parrot, and she
ask d owner is dis
parrot 4 sale he said
yes, and can he talk, d
owner said jst ask him
anything, and she said
2d parrot who am i? D
parrot look at her and
said ur a prostitued,
what an insult she said
did u hear wat ur parrot
called me, d owner said
madam pls dont worry
jst give me one minute
and he took d parrot
with him 2d bathroom,
he put d parrot in a
bucket of water 4 some
time and brought it out
then he said listen if dat
lady ask u again and u
Bleep up i go put u inside
dis bucket 4 d whole
day, so he brought d
parrot back and he said
madam dnt worry he
was jst hungry dat was
y he called u such name,
but ur free 2 ask him
now, she ask d parrot
again who i am? D
parrot said ur a fine
lady, she ask again if i
bring 1 man with me
whom would he be? D
parrot answerd ur
husband, and she said
wat about 2 men? D
parrot said ur husband
and his brother, 3 men?
Ur husband his brother
and ur brother, 4 men?
Ooooooh get me into d
fucking bucket i already
told u she iz a
prostitued

A conversation
between a bus driver
and bus conductor.
Driver: I have been to
the university before, I
knew book more than
you.
Mate: You lied bad, I
know more than you.
Driver: What shows?
Mate: Am the best
mathematician.
Driver: I dont believe,
because I know maths
more than you.
Mate: Ok whats 1+1?
Driver: 22
Mate: stupid fool,
someone just told you
the answer

A young igboman and his date well parked on a
back road some
distance from town. They were about to have s** when the girl stopped ," I really should have mentioned this
earlier, but I'm actually a Proffesional
reproductive Biological worker (Prostitu te)
and I charge $20 for sex ,"the man
reluctantly paid her and they did their thing. After smoking a cigarette , the man just sat in the driver seat looking out the window.
" Why aren't we going anywhere?" Asked the girl. The man replied, "Well I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi
driver and the fare back to town is $25

A machine was
introduced to CHINA
about 2 years ago. This
machine can detect a
thief without making
any mistake.
>When this machine
was taken to China, it
caught 1500 thieves
within 5hours
>When it was taken to
America, it caught 500
thieves within 24hours
>When they took it to
Ghana, it caught 1000
thieves within 1hour.
This machine was
taken todifferent part
of the world before our
leader decided to
introduce it to Nigeria.
When this machine
got to Nigeria, Within
5minutes THE MACHINE
WAS STOLEN

The manager of a liquor
store
gets a midnight phone
call at
home:
Manager: Hello!
Man: At what time does
the store
open?
Manager: At ten o'clock
sir.
At two in the morning,
the
phone rings again:
Manager: HELLO!
Man: Ya (burp), at what
time
does,
euh, the store open?
Manager: AT TEN IN
THE
MORNING, sir
Again, at four, the
phone rings:
Manager: H!E!L!L!O!
Man: Ya, euh, (burp),
at ...time,
euh,
does the euh store
open?
Manager: At ten in the
morning
sir, but I
am not sure that, since
you are
so drunk, I will let you in.
Man: I (burp) don't
want, to
get
in, I want to get out!

Daughter: Mum, John
paid me 2 climb a tree.
Mum: He is an idiot. He
wanted 2 c ur panty.
Daughter: I knew it
mom! Am smart. I
removed it b4 climbing

wife: why are you so
stressed up?
hubby: nothing!
wife: come on! there
must be something
wrong with you ... just
tell me what the
problem is...
hubby: the landlord told
me that he has had s3x
with almost every
woman except one!
wife: that one woman
might be johns wife ...
she usualy thinks that
she is more special than
others!
Husband fainted

In a chemistry class,
the teacher asked the
students to name the
atmospheric gases:
musa: oxygen.
Teacher: Good.
Chidi: Nitrogen.
Teacher: That's my
boy!!!!
Kemi: Hydrogen.
Teacher: Wonderful!!!!!!
!
Akpors: Tear gas.
Teacher: Akpors, you
have one more chance,
else you will be
punished.
Akpors thinks hard and
says: Fabregas

A very huge man went
to see a doctor and
said,"pls doctor dont
laugh at
what i want to show
you. "the
doctor said, "i
have been a doctor for
20 years
so i dont see what can
amuse me. "so the man
opened
his trousers and
showed his p*nis to the
doctor
which was as small as a
TV
remote's battery. on
seeing dis, d
doctor fell downand
started
laughing uncontrollably.
after 10
mins of laughter, he
regained
himself and asked the
man,"i'm
sorry, so what's
wrong with your p*nis?
"the man
said, "its swollen.."
The doctor collapsed!