Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by agb2011(f): 2:51pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Seriously, it's no big deal. It's in core Yoruba culture too. U ar nt xpectd 2 cal ur in-laws by their names; just 4 d sake of respect. Inorder to bring peace back into ur home, i'd say u shud comply. Lik others hav suggested, u cn giv them nicknames. Whatever u do, just don't mk something as trivial as this destroy ur home. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Segbu1: 2:51pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
igosee:rowitlag |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by obicentlis: 2:53pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
My dear, actually its not right but if you want to maintain the peace and tranquility in the family, better go with a respectful affix names. My uncles wife, though older my eldest brother but she addresses him as 'brother'. Its not easy but she is very intelligent to mellow down in order to sow and eventually reap the gains of being humble. Don't rely on the advise of our people here that are not in touch of the haPpenings down home. Be wise, remove the burden from your heart and you can't remember when you will start caLling them that. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 2:53pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Stella_Bella: Why do Nigerian women worry about INCONSEQUENTIAL ISSUES? |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by AkinDavid2: 2:56pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this. You sound impatiently rude, i sense what you are going through but better beware and learn how to call a Mad man "the groom" so that you can have your way. No be white man you marry..marriage is not only i love you it takes more than that! 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Ellashow: 3:01pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
I think there is nothing wrong in doing so, if dat'll make ur hubby happy and more so ur hubby is trying 2 protect u from any sorts of family problem. If u think calling them "Aunty" is hard 4 u then use "Sister" 2 call them e.g Sister Nnenna. As 4 me I use Sista and Brother 2 address some of my inlaws and they reciprocate in return. I don't see anything bad in dat as long as dey call u Aunty and respect u in return. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 3:02pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Ujujoan: I have women that call me brother AY, and it doesn't belittle them (No one can belittle u without ur consent). I dont even see it as anything. ''Brother AY''. Yes! I RESPECT THEM MORE! . And this is just a simple title that promotes no form of seniority in its definition! . If I may ask...whats the meaning of Aunt? It even makes u feel younger..... . OP.....NO BIGGIE ABT IT, unless they are disrespectful, and they dont dear call u by ur NAME! |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 3:02pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Is this a move to slight the Good people of Okija and Host of my Shrine?!  Ndi Okija and Ndi Igbo at large have no such tradition.. Respect of elders is very important in Igbo tradition and is not compromised for Nothing.. I think they are sending you a subtle message to take a hike.. Except you have lied to them about your age.. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by greatgod2012(f): 3:04pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
since u were not there during their naming ceremony, then i think respect beget respect........................respect is reciprocal!!!!!!!! It doesnt cost u anything and u will not loose anything from that. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ideetosin(m): 3:06pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
[quote author=slimyem]Seriously,what will it take from you? You are the one who has chosen to be a part of their family God bless U Dear, c'mon wife wat will it tak frm u? nt even a strand of hair besides u choose to marry their broda, he has been wit them frm d begining of his life, he only met u along d line it doesnt matter even if u r num 1 in his life nw. In ma place d wife is always told dnt think its ur husband u married o its actually we d inlaw u married beta play ball b4 1 silly issue will cause a big fight nd get u out of ur husbands house, Wats there? Mtcheeew Gud luck |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Nobody: 3:07pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
ayobase: It might mean nothing to you and if the same goes for the OP, I won't even bother. But for them to try to force it on her all in the name of tradition, just because she's married to their brother . . . That's very belittling! It's not even the Aunty-calling or greeting that pisses me off the most. It's the fact that they think they have the right to intimidate her just because she's a 'wife'! Thank God Okija Juju is here, there is NO such tradition in Okija or in igbo land! 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by linearity: 3:08pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Aunty is from the English word 'Aunt' Meaning: a. The sister of one's father or mother or b. The wife of one's uncle.... Usage: Used as a form of address for an older woman, especially by children. If they are not older than you and you are not considered 'children' to them...you should never use it to address them. Print the meaning of the word Aunt and show it to your husband. He might be thinking that it is a fancy way of greeting, but it is not. Being Ibos, he should understand the various age grades system...the word aunty fits within that age grade system, where a younger one addresses the elder with that. In my part of Nigeria, it is almost a taboo for a younger individual to accept age grade greetings from an older person. Some people even take offense when you greet them that way and they will be in your face saying things like..."u think say I senior you?"....am from Isoko by the way and our age grade greeting is 'Meegwuh' I know I did not get the spelling right, but you get the gist. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Afam4eva(m): 3:12pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
ayobase:There's a difference between calling someone "brother" which simply means "My brother" and calling someone Aunty or Uncle. You only call someone the latter if the person is older than you. Shikena. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Fancier(f): 3:13pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Whaoo, I really don't understand, if it was in the western part, i would understand at least a little, because i know they all go around calling people aunty and uncle irrespective of their age, as a sign of respect. I for one hate that title "Aunty" in fact that is the issue am having with our cleaner is the office presently. I can't stand an older person calling me aunty because he or she feels am in a better place position than him/her. But before i comment, what were you calling them before you got married to their brother? and what was their reaction then? secondly if the relationship you have with them is a good one, call the babes to order and talk to them as an elder sister to a younger one. For crying out loud, are they staying with you and still single, tell them calling them aunty will chase suitors away from them, making them feel old  abi dem no go school  how somebody older than you will be addressing you as aunty and you are comfortable with it just thinking out loud .. Mind you don't make this aunty seeking people cause problem between you and your hubby ooo But i hope they are not in anyway contributing to you or your family for demanding for this title Abeg Trend carefully.2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Nobody: 3:13pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
And seriously, these people saying 'what will it take from her' are you guys just not getting the issue here? This goes beyond greetings, this is a huge dis-respect. In Igbo land, we respect our elders. It can NEVER be the reverse just beacuse you are a wife! The moment you start letting your in-laws take advantage of your just because your are married to their brother, your doom begins! The woman is unhappy for God's sakes. You guys may call her petty but to her, it means a lot! Personally, I won't do what is being requested of her. Not that it's a big deal to call someone 'Aunty', but it's wrong to force it on her! 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 3:14pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
slimyem: Seriously,what will it take from you? OP.....Im buttressing my point with this again! |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 3:14pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
andyanders: I am from the East but this sounds strange to me. Though I understand that Okija is notorious with diabolical practices and I think, it is not right for you to call someone you are older than, aunty or whatever they have asked you to be doing.That sounds ridiculous and I think your husband should be reasonable enough to know the right thing as this sounds like occult practice to me. Mr.. What diabolical practices do you speak of?! Do you know something that I dont know about concerning Okija?! |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Nobody: 3:17pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Okija_juju: Stop being defensive jor. We all know what they do in Okija. I have a sister who attended Madonna . . . she told me everything!   1 Like |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 3:19pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Ujujoan: And seriously, these people saying 'what will it take from her' are you guys just not getting the issue here? This goes beyond greetings, this is a huge dis-respect. No one can take advantage of u without ur approval.....and it doesnt mean that one wouldnt call them to order if they misbehave! . Well, u said it, ''Its not a big deal to call someone Aunty''.....change is constant....she shld do it for the one she loves. The guy knows what he is doing....he is reinforcing! |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by abbey621(m): 3:19pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Girls of nowadays, overzealous pride and humongous ego, what would it cost you to do what will bring peace to your marriage? Let me tell you something, there's nothing worse than having in-laws that despise you, even if your husband loves you crazily, he will bow to pressure from his family at the slightest sign of wrongdoing by you. Another question, why the stress? Why let a simple issue like this worry you, you talk about feeling belittled but to me it sounds like you are over-complicating things, if you don't have to see them everyday, calling them aunty or brother or sister, takes nothing from you but if you have to see them everyday call them nicknames, you are matured and should be able to put out any fire at the slightest sight of smoke, be wise, things like this have a way of resolving if you learn to see it with a little bit of humor. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Networkmaster(m): 3:21pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Anambra people are so local, all they know is just trade. How could your husband support such bull? What is wrong calling them by their names, shouldn't they be the one to call you Aunt? Some people in 9ja are still behind or let me say they are just not civilized. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by redsun(m): 3:24pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Are you a baby?Dont you know what is right?Not even your husbands grand aunties should you be compelled to call aunties,if you dont want to.Call them by their names This is why nigerians never grow up,because they tend to think so lowly of themselves in order to please ignorant people and they end up passing it on to the children.You dont have to marry somebody that is not suitable for you,apart from that,you are not married to his parents,sibblings,aunties or uncles,but to him. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by slimyem: 3:26pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Ujujoan: And seriously, these people saying 'what will it take from her' are you guys just not getting the issue here? This goes beyond greetings, this is a huge dis-respect.You are the one who still doesn't get it? What exactly is belittling here madam? where is the disrespect? If anything,what she's not doing is what will bring her the real disrespect. ...and where did the op say they are forcing it on her? Who can force you to say something you don't want to? She is not happy with saying it and its costing her happiness in her home.don't you see? She has been keeping malice with her husband for days over this issue and you think she still has to stand her grounds? Really? ..and you think her doom will begin if she starts calling them "aunty" or "brother"? Seriously? Doom? 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ifeegee(f): 3:26pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
These are some of the wahalas u encounter when hubbys/wifeyS incline more to their extended instead of their immediate I:e husband,wife and kids.My sis,for ur sanity and peace,call them warever,after all they no dey sell the names for mkt,neither,will it be written on ur fore head that u called them aunties,mummies or whatever. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Philolos: 3:27pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this. My sister, Nne, love is blind but marriage would open your eyes or heal your blindness. Hear me for this one: it depends on how much importance you give this thing called age. We are all different, personally I don't care for age. I call all those younger or less fortunate than me broad, oga, oga sir or chief. It doesn't take anything away from me. But if I were you, I'll learn to get use to it because it may be the one thing that would be a thorn in your marriage. Please don't let it be. Some Christians would call it the devil but it appears to be using how your perceive age. Please, don't give it the time of day. Good luck with your husband and your in-laws; they are a blessing to your new family. Please cherish them as part of your family. Again, a house divided against itself cannot stand - a quote from the bible. If I may add, culture is not part of a lot of our schooling but it should be. It should be given some respect especially since your husband cited it, unless of course you research it and find it to be false. Otherwise, my sister, you have no leg(s) to stand on. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by aduje(m): 3:28pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
@Poster, am sure your husband and her family grew up in Local Lagos Area (LLA) or in Ibadan. Those people are so ignorant no matter their education; if you communicate in English simply call them my inlaws...Take time to study the English Lexicons and understand the true meaning of Uncle, Aunty, etc. My wife use to call my younger brother Uncle P until my 4 years old son corrected her in the midst of people. The innocent boy simply said; "Mum, my uncle cannot be your uncle it is a big wrong way of addressing people...thats what my teacher said" 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 3:29pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Fancier: .....I can't stand an older person calling me aunty because he or she feels am in a better place position than him/her. She calls u Aunty, call her mummy....SIMPLE. Dont be too emotional about parallel titles as signs of respect! . Or do u want the cleaner to call u by ur name ''FRANCIER, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO''....people respecting doesnt mean u dont respect them MORE! . Respect is reciprocal irrespective of difference in class, position or status! . Lucky Dube sing am! 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 3:30pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Ujujoan: Uju Na only you fit talk to me like this o!! Maka na'm fu gi na anya.. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by wawaboy1(m): 3:33pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
[quote author=Biggyd2]Do you want to start something that you cannot finish? If you start, you don start o. You are not comfortable with this "Auntie" thing, so why hide your feelings. If you let them know from the onset that you wont be calling your junior auntie, they will come to respect you for that, even if they will not like it at first. BE YOURSELF, and it will be easier for you. If not, how long do you intend to keep up with this thing that is surely making you unhappy. And come to think of it, correct. If u start caling them auntie. Then be ready to call all of them auntie even the one that is 9yrs old. U can call the ones above 29 auntie but below that no no. Or are u ready to call small and big auntie. Imagine wat will ur kids call them. Abt ur husband. Ur the home builder, reconcile ur differences. An let him see ur reasons. Calling them auntie will mean eye service. Let love lead 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by lincoln123: 3:34pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
slimyem: Seriously,what will it take from you? You just hit the nail on head |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by jadakiss213(m): 3:36pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Ujujoan:The 'Okija Shrine' saga readily comes to mind..  Ujujoan:The 'Okija Shrine' saga readily comes to mind.. |
| Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by mrperfect(m): 3:36pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Call her Nne, aunty isn't appearing. |
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