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Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by PrettyCindy(f): 4:38pm On Oct 10, 2012
What nonsense!!! Dont belittle yourself please. This is how it starts. From calling them aunty to washing their clothes and then maybe run errands for them like a slave. Be wise girl. have a serious talk with your husband and if possible, involve your parents and his. They just don't have respect for you and your husband is doing a good job at guiding them to disrespect you the more. nuff said.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by olu4life(m): 4:45pm On Oct 10, 2012
@OP,dont let anyone advising you to ignore break your home. This matter is a serious one,i dont know why some are looking at it as a small issue. If your home is important to u,then comply with the rules. Although its a norm in yoruba land. But idea is needed. Call them by their nick,or sister,inlaw etc anything that sounds cool with u. Ciao
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by olu4life(m): 4:46pm On Oct 10, 2012
By the way,calling them that doesnt belittle u in any way. Rather they will love and respect u the more. Shikena

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by QueenAw(f): 4:53pm On Oct 10, 2012
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Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by EmmyDe25(m): 4:54pm On Oct 10, 2012
violent: Poster's written English has left me combobulated and utterly "downfounded". How can you, in 5 lines, do so much damage to grammar? shocked

You mentioned that you gave his siter 3 years. I honestly hope this singular act of generosity by you will not go unnoticed and unrewarded. Make sure you remind your husband every night before sleeping of your magnanimous gesture towards her sister.
Am laffin nd a tooth just fell off!
@Op, on a serious note nw, if u diply luv wit ur husband as u claimd, adresin hs younger ones as sistas nd brodas shudnt be an hard tin 4u 2do, In mariage dia are tinz u just hv to ovalu,k nd ds is part of doz. B4 my broda got maryd 2hs wyf who is a yr olda dan hm, she usd to cal us by name I min WE, ha hubby younga ones buh imediately they got maryd no 1 told ha to stat adresin us as bwodas nd sistas, she just deemd it fit. U shudnt be kipin malice wit ur hubby on ds frivolous issue if ur not d proud type. Not worth d fuss.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Gracious10: 4:55pm On Oct 10, 2012
Ujujoan:

Stop being defensive jor. We all know what they do in Okija.

I have a sister who attended Madonna . . . she told me everything! cool grin

I agree completely, its very terrible in oraifite as well. Very diabolical set of people.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by vanitty: 5:01pm On Oct 10, 2012
Why the sudden change and what did
you use to call them before?
How long have you been married to your husband?

It seems to me (and I may be totally wrong) that you are a western bride visiting Nigeria for the first time and the man is trying to make sure they don't antagonise you.

Listen, if my assumption is right especially and you are only there for a short while. Call them whatever they want you to call them. Does it remove a hair from your head?

They probably are less accepting of you and your husband is trying to cushion the friction by teaching you what he percieves will make them more accepting of you

However, if I am wrong and you are an igbo lady that got married in Nigeria,did the traditional rites etc in Nigeria with contacts from his family and there is this sudden change, you might want to ask your husband why? There might be talks that you are rude etc so just talk to your husband.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by EmmyDe25(m): 5:04pm On Oct 10, 2012
jennykadry: Why should you call someone you are older than .."Aunty"?

Our help once called me Aunty and my mum warned her against it. Are you marrying Into a family or going into slavery?

I don't understand
Nd u go marry too o.#smh#
U knw my advice 4u? Go nd marry a yoruba nd practicalise al ds shitty ur sayin. Allah! Na wheel barrow dm go use carry ur load enta ur family hse.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by berylLOL(f): 5:05pm On Oct 10, 2012
Roselyn David: my dear. If dats d only solution 4 peace @ home. Just do it. Bt have it in mind dat it wil nt b 4eva. It just a mata of tym. Besides dey wont live wit u 4eva. . Remember PATIENT IS VIRTIUE

it is people like you who call PATIENCE JONATHAN-> PATIENT JONATHAN!

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ayobase(m): 5:16pm On Oct 10, 2012
OP..Im sure u should know what way to follow now.
But Im still gonna BEG u to call them ''Aunty'' for the fun of it.
.
''Aunty, pls help me go market to buy these.......''
''Aunty, pls go help me put water in the bathroom for ur Brother''
''Aunty, pls come help me plait my hair''
''Aunty, pls wait for me so that we go go together''
''Aunty, dont be silly''
''Aunty, pls buy me MTN unit na''
.
LOL....I don laugh die for here!
.
The list is endless GBABE!
Always make sure u put ''pls'' sha o!
.
God bless....Im gonna be out very soon!

5 Likes

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Dsage1: 5:20pm On Oct 10, 2012
People can be so funny at times. So calling ur husband siblings "aunty or brother" is now an issue that is bordering ur mind? Let me ask u these questns;

If one of ur husband sibling is ur neighbor or u jst meet him on d road or somwer, how will address such a person?

Respect is reciprocal irrespective of age, I had friends that are 3/4yrs older than I and also d one I was 2yrs older than and we all called ourselves without adding title. So what's the big deal?
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by OloriL(f): 5:21pm On Oct 10, 2012
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Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by OloriL(f): 5:24pm On Oct 10, 2012
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Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by BBDelta(m): 5:24pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks

Sometimes, you guys can get me angry. Your Aunty is your mother's sister or your father's sister. na which one come be inlaw for the matter? Na your husband and em brothers invent the name aunty? I stop my family from addressing people wrongly. My children don't call their teachers aunty or uncles. stick to the principle and enjoy your life free from sentimental bullshit....
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Nobody: 5:25pm On Oct 10, 2012
I don't see anything wrong in it,if they also respect you,in yoruba culture the wife respects her husband's relatives either young or old,only a foolish inlaw will not respect his/her brother's wife,because whatever they do to her,they are doing it indirectly to their brother,but if you notice any rude attitude towards you from them,sit your husband down and explain..
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Saintp(m): 5:28pm On Oct 10, 2012
@ Op,

Are u sure u didnt tell them u were 20yrs of age when u were dating? Maybe they have been seeing u as a small girl all this while only for you to come and claim big babe. Girls can hide their real age so much that it takes God's grace for men to really know the true ages of thier wives.

I know of a man who discovered that his wife is 4yrs older than him 5yrs after marriage. The thing caused wahala ooooo. It took the grace of God to diffuse the situation. The girl claimed she lied to him when they were dating and she didnt know they will eventually marry but when they now got married, she didnt know how to now say the truth until casala burst 5yrs after marriage.

Whateva d case sha, i think it dosent make sense.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by dayokanu(m): 5:47pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts:
My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

You gave his sister 3years? So when would she return the 3years to you or did you dash her the 3yrs ni?
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by kemiola89(f): 6:06pm On Oct 10, 2012
Let go of your pride ma'am! I see nothing wrong with you calling your in-laws whatever name/title they want to be address as..... If that's what you need do to keep your marriage going
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by tunapawizzy: 6:17pm On Oct 10, 2012
kemiola89: Let go of your pride ma'am! I see nothing wrong with you calling your in-laws whatever name/title they want to be address as..... If that's what you need do to keep your marriage going
smh4u

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Ivynwa(f): 6:17pm On Oct 10, 2012
The fact that this is an Igbo couple made this "call my younger sister Aunty" thing ridiculous because there ain't any rules to that in Igbo land. Respect your in-laws yes, nothing was written down on paper as rules for you to address each of them by.
E be like say the man has some commandments and rules in the offings with which he must make the wife he marries abide by and now he is bringing them out of the oven one after the other. Is it only to call the young girl Aunty, you fit shower her and towel dry her when she comes visiting and get on to serve her food after which you can carry her to her bedroom as she don become her majesty because somebody just got married to her brother. WTFr*ak! grin grin

Abeg no keep malice with your husband o biko, find any understanding parent of either of you to speak to him, why is he belittling his wife like that? What will he ask you to do next? Him think say i m marry slave enter him family or what? Abeg.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by WAM1(f): 6:23pm On Oct 10, 2012
Lol... You clearly do not have problems. Aunty, Uncle, Brother , Sister - I would even call them Mama if they want it. Don't create a problem where there is none. One thing I learnt from my brother is that he calls everyone chairman or oga - even when he is the one writing their checks. It doesn't take anything from you. Respect begets respect. Be more concerned about how you carry yourself around them and your attitude towards them. I often tell people let the person you are command and not demand respect.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by vanitty: 6:30pm On Oct 10, 2012
WAM?:
Lol... You clearly do not have problems. Aunty, Uncle, Brother , Sister - I would even call them Mama if they want it. Don't create a problem where there is none. One thing I learnt from my brother is that he calls everyone chairman or oga - even when he is the one writing their checks. It doesn't take anything from you. Respect begets respect. Be more concerned about how you carry yourself around them and your attitude towards them. I often tell people let the person you are command and not demand respect.

I so much love this comment.

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by kooto(m): 6:33pm On Oct 10, 2012
If that is part of their tradition and you are married to them why not,let me ask you, what will calling someone younger than you aunty/uncle take away from you?does it reduce your age,your position in life, that means you cannot say sorry/apologise to someone who offends you when it is obvious trouble is around. maybe you should terminate your marriage or make it very unpleasant for yourself. this as helped you measure your level of humility; there is pride in you that you don't see that's why it looks insultive to you and makes you angry.[I am not an Ibo man Iam from the south west]just telling you what is bitter.............TRUTH.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by dabossman(m): 7:01pm On Oct 10, 2012
To every man his own. If that will ensure peace in your home please do it. It won't kill you; maybe just bruise your ego a little.

That said, what were you calling them before you got married? You know if you called them 'Aunty' when you were "deeply in love" don't think you can just change now o! grin

I sometimes address people younger than me as 'sir' or 'ma' during conversation or just to be polite, even when they are just acquaintances I have no loyalties to. It doesn't make me less than them. And usually they tend to reciprocate.

Lastly, women are the ones who usually seem to have this issue. They have no problem calling a male friend by name, even when he is 5-10 years older than them, yet they can't stand it when a another lady they are 2-5 years older than calls them by name. Now, why is that? Hhm...
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ronnietilo: 7:05pm On Oct 10, 2012
2 Options:
Just bear it and call them the aunty: this would actually ultimately affect your relationship.

or

Get stubborn and bear the consequences which may be constant rifts with ur husband and family. - ITs bad ur husband is supporting them on this issue - u might not win.

However, for the sake of peace - option 1 might be suitable. Just do it and move on
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ghettodreamz(m): 7:18pm On Oct 10, 2012
For goodness sake, this is not worth raising alarm over. Don't let people give you wrong advice that would destroy your union, beware of some single ladies on NL that gives bad advice. You have to work on yourself too, because I think you not being in a speaking term with your hubby over this little or minor issue, really didn't worth it.

You are married to their son or elder brother, if that's what they required and would make them happy, do it just to keep your marriage. I'm sure it's not been long you got married, divorce is not a good option for you nor is it biblical. Just do it to make them happy just to secure your ground in their son's home. Remember you loved him to have gotten married to him in the first place, even if you are 5 years older than your hubby, respect his decision and be submissive to him. You calling his sibling aunty/uncle won't remove any strand of hair off your body, neither will it decrease your age or make you loss your self-worth.

I'm from the Yoruba tribe,all my uncle's and even elder brother's wife call me uncle or brother before my name, which is nothing but just a sign of respect,as the Yoruba culture/custom so demands. I believe you calling your hubby's siblings aunty or uncle would do more good than harms. They would definitely accord you your own respect too, respect is reciprocal.

Even if it amount to you kneeling down while greeting them, do it for the sake of love you had for their son. You're already married to him, and you have to accept him with all the baggage (his parents & siblings) that comes with the marriage,love and respect them as your own people, and you will have a happy married life under their son's roof.

Empty yourself of self pride and don't let it ruin your marital home & happiness therein.

Good Luck in your matrimonial home.


PS; Already feeling groggy, forgive me if there is any typo or bad construction of sentences.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Exponental(m): 7:18pm On Oct 10, 2012
Tradition sometimes might be annoying.
Thank God it is not Benue state of those days where ur husband will ask u 2 sleep with his guest as a means of entertainment.
Tradition! Decide now.......secrifice ur pride or ur love!!
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by dabossman(m): 7:22pm On Oct 10, 2012
sashaa: What nonsense is this, biko? I am from anambra and we have no such culture. What baffles me more is ur husbands stance on the issue. What sort of man subscribes to his wife being belittled?

Op, just ignore them. Dont even bring up the issue with ur husband. Am sure with time they will realize u aint to be messed with.

You know, I totally like chics like you. Are you single? Can we get married? I hope it's okay for me to call you parents by their first names though? I don't believe in all that dad and mom rubbish, after all they are your parents not mine. The best I can do is call them Mr. X and Mrs X. All these backward Nigerian traditional rubbish sef. Oyinbos call their father-in-laws by name jor.

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by ghettodreamz(m): 7:29pm On Oct 10, 2012
dabossman:

You know, I totally like chics like you. Are you single? Can we get married? I hope it's okay for me to call you parents by their first names though? I don't believe in all that dad and mom rubbish, after all they are your parents not mine. The best I can do is call them Mr. X and Mrs X. All these backward Nigerian traditional rubbish sef. Oyinbos call their father-in-laws by name jor.

I believe you are joking, huh? And pulling her legs grin grin grin
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Kobojunkie: 7:30pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks

These kain questions leave me wondering which kain people dey post am sef . . . ROFLMAO!!
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by kalufelix(m): 7:35pm On Oct 10, 2012
Do yhu even see her evrytime??...aint she supposed to be married and be. In her husbands house
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by gunboot: 7:38pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks
Amaka, so you HAVE to consult the whole world before you obey a simple tradition. Just get ready to pack YOUR items as soon as I come home because you are a disgrace to the family. No wife in the family has questioned this before. You are a virus and so must be formatted before you infect others. AMADI OHAEE. I will just place a call to our family house to take note. I am gonna make a hard copy of all this as evidence.You are very stupid.
LOL
But why will they force you and why will you wait to be forced. In the form of joke, like joke like joke, laka dis laka dat, you go do am and you no go even know when you do am. Its a trial period, listen to the voice of wisdom and you will win the devils battle. GOODLUCK!

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