avicky:
Na wa to u oh bokoto!
Na so u like tales by moonlight? Ehn, u're evry where round d literary circle..

But, see pot calling kettle black.

lol. Did u edit my previous comment?

Guy.. I greet u.. For u to win my time like dis.. U too much. Nice one abeg hurry bring d next one.. One love bro...

brokoto: lol. Did u edit my previous comment?

No, not all.

brokoto: lol. Did u edit my previous comment?

No, not at all.

Guy, this story too short for all the wait. You no even include Funke Salman. No dull this story make e no become boring o! ah ! ah!. Any way, keep it up.

Episode Nine - “Facing Goliath”
How I wish something would just happen today and an indefinite holiday would be announced… Its Monday my people and “Lagos no go take nonsense”, yes! Lagos won’t take nonsense from no one and I am sure the boss won’t take an iota of nonsense from me today, can’t someone just take my place and solve this riddle I thought to myself as I close the gate to my apartment behind me as I stroll to the bus stop.

I know some of you will wonder why I haven’t called Alhaji S.K Salman yet to accept his juicy offer and I am sure some of you guys who have been in similar situations before and came out tops will understand this decision aren’t easy to take. To be honest, the offer from SKS is “out of this world”, I only hear things like this in fairy tales but wow! It’s happening to me and it is overwhelming.

At the bus stop, I joined a light rush for an Oshodi bus and chose the last sit at the back of the bus as my comfort zone, no bike today; I just want to delay this inevitable journey to the office for as long as I can. I haven’t thought about what I will tell The Boss but whatever comes out of my mouth when he questions me is the answer.. Hmmmmmmm…..

I reached for my phone and its earpiece in pocket, saw a few pings on the phone and ignored them, i plug the earpiece to the phone and listened to soulful songs, some Michael Bubble, Maxwell, John Legend, Nikelback and a few oldies that reminded me of my Dad.

Then I started thinking about the dream I had yesterday, I haven’t told anyone about it and I won’t. Me and Funke Salman married and it was a disaster, I thought about the horrible feelings I had in the dream, my mother’s questions and the accident, I sighed again and caught the eyes of the old woman sitting beside me staring at me with pity as she signaled me to pay the conductor. For the records and I have you guys has my witness, I will spend the rest of my life with Anike unless she decides she doesn’t want to or an act of God separates us.

Anike Beatrice Alabi, I met her in one of the most unusual places to meet a Wife, The Barbers Shop, Yes! The Barbers Shop on my street when I was living with my uncle in Ogba. She brought her little nephew, Jaiye, now my good pal to have a haircut and that was my lucky day, Anike has been a very wonderful sister, friend and Lover since then, though she was very hard to get, I begged, wooed, and didn’t miss church for like six month to get a date and another three months past before we started a relationship, she however warned and begged that she didn’t want to start a relationship with someone she can’t marry if she has too and I gave my word then though I wasn’t sure, its four years now and counting, time has proven we were meant for each other, she’s caring, loving, strong, emotional and well cultured. Anike is beautiful, 5ft 6 tall, a size 8, brown skin, her bright eyes send me haywire all the time and she has all the “bump and curve” to satisfy a reasonable man. The first daughter of an average family of four kids, a lawyer father, a secondary school teacher mother, two younger sisters, Bola and Nifemi, and a doctor brother Adeniyi.

Anike, graduated from university of Ibadan with honours, she presently works with an insurance firm and plans to retire soon to do business. We have had our own share of problems too, little from my busy schedule and others by my “friends with benefits”, I know my female reader will shake their head and say “Men!” Right now but “let he/she that has no sin cast the first stone”… Sincerely, I don’t know how these things happen, some of this girls even know Anike but won’t still let me be.

I got off the bus at “Ikeja along”, used the over head bridge to the other side and started another long stroll to the office, it a long walk but I didn’t mind, I just wish today was over already.

I walked into EL-Paso plaza and there was no sign of The Bosses Toyota sequoia, I felt relieved, I will be ready and prepared before he comes in.

“Good morin sir” Ronke greeted,

” Good morning” I answered calmly and walked towards my office tired,

“Oga Ba’atunde, the “shairman” is waiting for you in his office, he said you should see him immediately you enter” Ronke informed with her “night school” English.

My legs almost gave way, I started feeling feverish and I could confirm some drops of urine on my underwear too…

“Is Oga around?” I questioned maybe I didn’t hear her well,

“Yes” she answered,

“But his car is not outside now” I pressed.

“Yes, Madam and Walaka, The Driver have gone out with it” she confirmed.

I blanked out and managed to walk to my office and locked the door behind me, after some minutes of thinking and self motivation, I Summoned courage to face my Goliath and left my office to meet The Boss.. I took a few deep breaths, brightened my face with a forced smile and knocked on the half opened door. “Eddy”, The Boss called and I went in. I didn’t allow him to ask me how it went with SKS before I started to flow…

“Oga, it was a nice idea we accepted to meet with Alhaji Salman oo, it has changed our position on the preference table tremendously, I did a casual presentation for him and noticed he was impressed with our ideas and techniques, he asked question to confirm we can do what we say we do and I answered them convincingly, I took time to emphasized why a local firm like ours will be best for their job because we understand the market and have the models and strategies specially built for the environment they operate in.

And Oga we might not need to “tip” S.K’s P.A sef, I had a gist with Funke Salman last night and she said her father was impressed. A little more work on Funke and she will ask her father to give us the job. She’s his favourite kid” I concluded.

The Boss smiled and said; “Eddy this is Good news, I just hope we win this for real, I am going to meet my wife at the airport I stayed back to see you, I hope we will share better news when I get back by the week end.”

He gave me a pat on my shoulder has we walk out of his office.

“Eddy give the “100k Tip” to Ronke” he added has he walked away.

I breezed into my office, locked the door, sat on the floor and cursed the day lying was invented. A cheap way of getting out of trouble temporarily, only to have the trouble in folds when it comes back to get you. And it mostly does…

I Edwin Babatunde Alexander cannot continue like this, people I Just can’t….

^^^Nice one...pls jst keep it coming

Good. .keep 'em coming

Brilliant piece! Pls bring it on!! Well done mahn...

Chai...see this dude got me salivating already. Ehen...guy get your "as" and "has" right now - you're about to be a big boi na...ah ah...no go disgrace us for SKS front na? lmao!

Paentera: Chai...see this dude got me salivating already. Ehen...guy get your "as" and "has" right now - you're about to be a big boi na...ah ah...no go disgrace us for SKS front na? lmao!

abi ooo my brother.mak he no fall our hands oo.

Already lose interest ‎؛

Eddie, this is your boss (PIB), i am reading the piece as well, we shall know scores when i resume on monday.

Lol ...

TYTAN: Eddie, this is your boss (PIB), i am reading the piece as well, we shall know scores when i resume on monday.

Guy...please work on 'as' and 'has'...nice work, u know how to plot ur story.

I hope the next episode won't take years.

Episode Ten - “The Beginning of the End”

I think I was brought up by the toughest parents ever, my mum is a Christian woman that wants you to grow in the way of the lord, go to church, read the bible, never miss Sunday school and you must not fail “Christian religious studies” in school just to prove to her that you are a child of God, don’t play football, read books, don’t lie tell the truth and be corrected those are some of my mum’s rules.

My Dad on the other side is a principled man, he wants a reason to justify every action, the kind of Dad that will ask you.,

“Tunde, What do you want to be in future?”

You answer “A doctor sir”

Then he will ask “why?”

You will answer again with reasons like

“Because it’s an esteemed profession and it is a service to humanity”

Then he will ask you again

“why are you given me this answer, is it because You just want to give me an answer or that is what you read in books or what everyone says..?”

Now you guys know there is no answer to Mr Momoh Olanrenwaju Alexander’s questions, just breathe. Anytime you face him he always wins…..

My family up bringing has thought me so many things, I have learned to always commit my troubles to God, have patience, respect people’s feelings, love without boundaries, Speak with caution, learn from my mistakes and always try to see the reason behind every action I take and receive.

Hmmmmm…, I have not been to work since “Facing Goliath Monday” and today is Wednesday, I am going to honour Funke’s invitation and act “James bond” too… I need info and I hope to get it today..

My friend wole has agreed once again to save my behind; he will drop his Toyota corolla for me this morning. Abi how do I go on a date with a lady without a car in Lagos? Na Fu*k-up be that..

I have also settled for a khaki pants, a blue shirt and a black blazer for this rich peoples party, Son of man must represent o.

After hours in regular Lagos traffic from the mainland to the island, I finally parked my “borrow borrow make me fine” car and walked into SKS office complex, I could see eyes staring at me, the staffs were more friendly this time and I wasn’t asked to fill the visitors form, I immediately noticed I had an escort.. I remember her to be the lady with Madam the day I came for my project presentation.. She introduced herself as Halimah and asked to take me to the “GM”..

Miss “come and do eyes” was looking cute as usual, a sky blue shirt, black pants and a lovely black shoe, like we had a dress code planned. Light make-up and she was shining bright like the sun.

“Mister Babatunde” she sang with a smile after ordering my escort out of her office.

” Madam Funke Salman” I replied

“Hope I am well dressed for our party” I requested.

“Huh, you know you are a cute guy hun’, I have always been impressed with your dress sense, let me finish up, so we can head out for our party.. Hope you brought your dancing shoe o?.” She teased

“Well.., I have got two left legs but you can teach me before I start embarrassing us there” I teased back.

“Then you are in for a long class, Mr Edwin Babatunde Alexander. Brace yourself.” She threatened.

We got down from her office and she made another request

” hope you don’t mind, I will like to drive you to the party you leave your car here my driver will get it to your house for you.”

I wasn’t going to argue with this girl again, I told her not to worry that I will just come and pick my car the next day.

Now this is comfort, how many of you guys have been driven in a Mercedes Benz G class with full option before? See dash board, chairs with “massage something”, hear speakers sef.. Na like say na D’banj dey perform for us and Funke’s driving wasn’t bad too… Smooth movement with no iota of rush.. If you have been driven in one of this machine before, then you will understand what I am talking about now.

A few D’banj, Tuface and Davido songs later and We were in Osborne estate, see houses Oluwa mi ooo.!! BabaGOD please bless me o.. Let my dreams come true and give me the grace to know and worship you in wealth too.

Funke pressed the brake one last time and she pointed to the venue of our party, another magnificent building, an architectural master piece and the garden? na waooo.. Na hotel? I almost asked… “People get money sha.”

We got out of the car and Funke walked to me, she helped remove something from my eye lash, gave me a seductive pat on the chest and pressed the gate’s bell.

” Let’s go in” she said, now holding my hands like we are a couple..

Edwin..! Edwin!! Edwin..!!! My inner voice called me, “ehh, you are looking for trouble, this lady don dey hold you like unah be lovers and you carry your big head dey follow like mumu abi? No worry na wetin man dey chop dey kill man”

“I know, inner voice” I replied

“And I am just here to solve my problem, when am through with this issue “Inner me” you will understand me better”, I thought hoping my inner voice will keep quite now and let me enjoy the party.

The party was crazy, mad DJ, lots to eat and drink and Funke was impressed with my dancing skills. As a bonafide ex-Osu (Olabisi Onabanjo University) boy.. We no dey carry last for enjoyment things, she was giving it to me and I was dishing it out to her with style.. Later as the party went on I invited Funke for a chat outside..

We got out into the serene environment, well groomed garden where cool breeze was blowing, it was a very romantic setting and I could see people making out here and there, I took off my jacket and wore it for Funke, she was surprised and happy, “see black girl dey blush oo”, she called me a gentleman and gave me another pat on my well built chest.. (It is good to watch movies o, thanks to Denzel Washington and Brad Pitts, now am romantic. Oh, I forgot to mention RMD and Ramsy Noah too). We walked to our car and I started the gist..

” Funke, I like you, I like Alhaji and we are already like one big family, it’s so encouraging to come this far in life and still find a sister and father like you and your Dad, I want to work for your Dad but I think I owe my Boss too, if he had not given me the opportunities he gave me I won’t have caught the eyes of SKS Consulting, I am still thinking about the whole thing, I just hope we will still be friends and family if my decision doesn’t fit into your plans”

“Can I ask you a question?” I requested

“Asked me anything” she said with a sombre voice.

“Funke, how did you guys at SKS know about El-Paso and me.?”

She sighed, then replied” my Dad has ears here and there and people tell him things, someone recommended El-paso to us during our quest for a Client Base Development consultant, during our scrutiny of El-Paso. Your name came up, and we found out you were the Client Base Development Guru, my Dad and I had a discussion and we prayed you would be sent to us so we can propose our offer to you. “Why buy water when we can sink a well”.

I smiled, and then she asked if she could tell me something too.

“Am all ears o.. Madam” I answered with a lot of fear,

She poked me with a finger and continued.

“Stop calling me Madam, please. That is just what I wanted to tell you… I like you, I like you like an Elder brother, I am a young lady, I have always wanted an Elder brother, someone I can always share with, cry to and trust his judgment and advise, I was very close to my Mum before she passed away, My Dad is a wonderful man o but I can’t border him with everything… You seem like that kind of person I can share with and trust.. Maybe that’s why when you are around me I just want to play with you, I feel safe and at home with you, I wanna tell you everything and anything.”

I sighed and held her hand then she continued with a pitiful voice…

“You see.. When God has blessed a man like he has blessed my Dad, you never know who is a friend, you have everything and everyone is always ready to lick your foot for one favour or the other, I realised early in life that I must be careful with who choose to share secret and important matters with. But you are kinda different. You didn’t jump at my Dad’s offer and that alone is impressive. I told my fiancée about you and he was surprised you haven’t taken the offer yet but for me and my Dad, that is what makes you special, you are not a greedy person.”

At this point my heart skipped, “fiancée ke? So she has a suitor? Hmmmmm”... Then I returned to her yarn.

“Mr E.B Alexander, even if you don’t take SKS’s offer for whatever reason you give, I promise you my Dad will always help you if you need his help and you will always be My Bigbro from another mother.” She concluded and gave me a hug that seem to last forever.

We decided to leave after our heartfelt talk, I told my new found little sister to drop me at Maryland, so I can take a cab home, I checked the time, it was exactly 9.48pm when I dropped, I promised her I will be safe and she drove off promising to call me later to confirm my safety. She was gone for some minutes before I realised I left my jacket with my second phone in it in the car.. I shrugged and called a bike to drop me in my house. I will pick it up tomorrow morning with Wole’s car.

I got home and found my apartment opened, have been robbed!

I sneaked in like Jack Bauer of the action Series “24″, only to see my “Aniksy peperoni” lying on the sofa, I hissed and walked to her. My Anike isn’t like this, how can I enter and my baby Won’t show any sign of joy. I tried to tease her with a kiss but she pushed me away and snapped at me.

“Who is Funke, Why is she with your phone and where are you coming from?”

My people, now how and where should I start my explanation, “monkey dey chop Banana, Monkey dey scratch yansh, Monkey no know say na wetin sweet dey kill person?”.. Choi..! I don DIE.!!!

ogbeni because your tori sweet e no giv u ryt to dey tey b4 u post am oh
I think he should just explain to aniksy peperoni

do u know how long we waited for ur update.now u want make we pet u for back when we dont even know when to expect the next episode.anyway thank sha

.

Interesting ... Abeg do quick post d next episode oh

I am impressed. You are truly creative. Thumbs up!

This is your boss again, please dont take much time before you continue, very nice piece.proud of you

The last part where you mention monkey dey chop banana make me laugh tire. Keep it up.

It's so impressive write up. You better take your time and explain things to her before it gets out of control.
But I'm expecting the next episode soonest.

Guy u are creative and intelligent kindly post ASAP.

as u ask me now . . . na who i go ask

Dis episode make sense. Jst surprise on Funke having a fiancee

A 9ce and interesting one. When my brother told me to try and visit this story i was reluctant at first but with his kind of person that goes for the best i decided to and itj has been fun. Tha.... After the concluding story you'll get d remainz.A 9ce and interesting one. When my brother told me to try and visit this story i was reluctant at first but with his kind of person that goes for the best i decided to and itj has been fun. Tha.... After the concluding story you'll get d remainz.A 9ce and interesting one. When my brother told me to try and visit this story i was reluctant at first but with his kind of person that goes for the best i decided to and itj has been fun. Tha.... After the concluding story you'll get d remainz.