Why does this seem to be an issue? Why should you care what your friends think of your new boy/girlfriend?
I personally see this as a serious sign of insecurity and a crowd pleaser's mentality.....shouldn't it be about what you want?

Because the people closest to you know you, and they might see things that you don`t see yourself in the moments of falling in love.

My very best friend did not trust my husband at ALL before she got to know him more. And he felt the same about her. Lol. Thats what you get with the african invorement in Norway; everyone THINK they know everyone.
It was just as important for me that he liked her, as it was the she liked him. After all, they would be seeing each other much, and if they did not get a long, it would be heart breaking for me.


You can twist it around too; Why is it important that your parents like your spouse?

JallowBah: Because the people closest to you know you, and they might see things that you don`t see yourself in the moments of falling in love.

My very best friend did not trust my husband at ALL before she got to know him more. And he felt the same about her. Lol. Thats what you get with the african invorement in Norway; everyone THINK they know everyone.
It was just as important for me that he liked her, as it was the she liked him. After all, they would be seeing each other much, and if they did not get a long, it would be heart breaking for me.


You can twist it around too; Why is it important that your parents like your spouse?

Most times it can be out of envy/jealousy that your friend would not approve of your partner. And this why i think it should not be up to them to decide if your partner is good enuf for you or not.
Going by my stand point, i think its a big plus if your parents approve/think well of your partner, and the opposite if they don't.

blogger1.0:

Most times it can be out of envy/jealousy that your friend would not approve of your partner. And this why i think it should not be up to them to decide if your partner is good enuf for you or not.
Going by my stand point, i think its a big plus if your parents approve/think well of your partner, and the opposite if they don't.

I want to believe you've said it all cos you would be suprised at the level of envy your own friends would have for you when something is going good for you, especially financial or relationship wise.
Personally, i don't even think the parents matter either.

blogger1.0:

Most times it can be out of envy/jealousy that your friend would not approve of your partner. And this why i think it should not be up to them to decide if your partner is good enuf for you or not.
Going by my stand point, i think its a big plus if your parents approve/think well of your partner, and the opposite if they don't.

My friends know me better than my parents..and luckily, the people I hold closest to my heart, only want whats best for me, and not some bull-man to put a ring on my finger
When I was checking out my husband in the streets, we were sitting at a coffee-shop, I said "gadd DAMN that dude is beautiful. I want him. He is mine. You know him, seen him around?"
She answered: "Yep, I have seen him. Never seen him being intimate with any women in the streets, but when I look at him, I would not even trust him with my grandmothers garbage"
Lol.
No, she says "I was sooooo wrong. He looks like a bad street-boy, but he has a good and caring heart. He is the best for you" It only took her two-three talks with him to change her mind.

My family, on the other hand...many of them have not even tried to get to know him, and we live 30hours with a car/2hours with an expensive plain-ticket away. They don`t see the good in him, and my mother has even said I should never, ever have married him.

I choose what makes me happy. That is what is important in my life. And the people who are closest to me, should be happy when I am happy.

uglything:
I want to believe you've said it all cos you would be suprised at the level of envy your own friends would have for you when something is going good for you, especially financial or relationship wise.
Personally, i don't even think the parents matter either.

Am I the only one who throw away that kind of "friends"...?
When I got married to my husband, I quickly found out who was looking out for the best of me, and who was not.
If my parents was not my parents, but friends, we would not be talking at all anymore, believe me.

JallowBah:

My friends know me better than my parents..and luckily, the people I hold closest to my heart, only want whats best for me, and not some bull-man to put a ring on my finger
When I was checking out my husband in the streets, we were sitting at a coffee-shop, I said "gadd DAMN that dude is beautiful. I want him. He is mine. You know him, seen him around?"
She answered: "Yep, I have seen him. Never seen him being intimate with any women in the streets, but when I look at him, I would not even trust him with my grandmothers garbage"
Lol.
No, she says "I was sooooo wrong. He looks like a bad street-boy, but he has a good and caring heart. He is the best for you" It only took her two-three talks with him to change her mind.

My family, on the other hand...many of them have not even tried to get to know him, and we live 30hours with a car/2hours with an expensive plain-ticket away. They don`t see the good in him, and my mother has even said I should never, ever have married him.

I choose what makes me happy. That is what is important in my life. And the people who are closest to me, should be happy when I am happy.

And thats the only point am stressing here...why should i be happily in love someone and then have to consider letting go just because my friends do not like/see the person for who the person really is, even when i am the spending the rest of my life with the person?

uglything:
I want to believe you've said it all cos you would be suprised at the level of envy your own friends would have for you when something is going good for you, especially financial or relationship wise.
Personally, i don't even think the parents matter either.

You also hit the nail on the head bro...i only pray to God to xpose those fair-weather friends so i can get rid of them ASAP

blogger1.0:

And thats the only point am stressing here...why should i be happily in love someone and then have to consider letting go just because my friends do not like/see the person for who the person really is, even when i am the spending the rest of my life with the person?

Like I said; Love makes blind in the beginning. What you don`t see, others might see.
If my best friend, even after meeting my husband many times, still had something negative to look at, I would check too see if I could see the same or not.
And; what is a dealbreaker to one, might not be a dealbreaker for me. People are different.

I would not like to have a marriage where my husband could not be social with me and my friends. He feels the same. He has also cut out some people from his life because of the way they talk about me, and white women in general. Or their own wife..

JallowBah:

Am I the only one who throw away that kind of "friends"...?
When I got married to my husband, I quickly found out who was looking out for the best of me, and who was not.
If my parents was not my parents, but friends, we would not be talking at all anymore, believe me.

I always like to believe that i am my own best friend. Cos you seldom find one to call a true who is willing to give you the exact measure of how much you are willing to give or sacrifice for them.

JallowBah:

Like I said; Love makes blind in the beginning. What you don`t see, others might see.
If my best friend, even after meeting my husband many times, still had something negative to look at, I would check too see if I could see the same or not.
And; what is a dealbreaker to one, might not be a dealbreaker for me. People are different.

I would not like to have a marriage where my husband could not be social with me and my friends. He feels the same. He has also cut out some people from his life because of the way they talk about me, and white women in general. Or their own wife..

I definitely agree with your husband 100% on that...that's what i believe any real man should do.
Thats why i want to believe that this trend is mostly synonymous with women than men.
Your trust in your partner alone should be enuf to last you through marriage.

blogger1.0:

I definitely agree with your husband 100% on that...that's what i believe any real man should do.
Thats why i want to believe that this trend is mostly synonymous with women than men.
Your trust in your partner alone should be enuf to last you through marriage.

I somewhat agree...many women tend to keep their friends, even if they are not good for them, just because "they have known each other for so long". It does not matter. If your so-called friend don`t want the best for you, they don`t deserve to be your friend either.

uglything:
I always like to believe that i am my own best friend. Cos you seldom find one to call a true who is willing to give you the exact measure of how much you are willing to give or sacrifice for them.

You should be your own, best friend, of course. But to have others around you who you can get guidance from, vent out too when you are angry, or just be with when you are sad..it is, for me, one of the best things in life. I would say I have two people who really understand me in this world, who I can say almost anything to, and get help, hugs, and fun with. That is one girl, and my husband. And that is enough for me.

@Blogger1.0, first of all I'd say know your friends. If you don't trust them or their judgement they shouldn't be that close to you in the first place. And most times when we love someone we often are blind to their faults, which our friends would see easily.
That said, the least a friend could do is treat their friend's partner with respect irrespective of their feelings/reservations towards them.

^^^true that, but trust me, real life experiences have taught me that envy has no respect for friendships and therefore has been a major cause of broken friendships

I couldn't care less what "friends" think about my significant other, family either to a certain extent. I'm a grown woman and very good at making decisions.

Now if they have some proof of something unacceptable they can let me know. I'll take it from there.

My closest friends and family members I trust....love them some Chima! They always asking me if he have single brothers! Even if he did have single brothers....that doesn't mean they would be like him.

I have never cared what people thought of me or the men I have dated. It doesn't affect them so why bother to entertain them? My husband have told me a few chicks that I know tried to get up on him and I laughed. I asked him if he was grinning and flexing? He gave me an evil look.

Some of my female coworkers always worrying about what people think of their dates and one of them asked me what I thought...I told her if you ain't prepared for the truth...I suggest you not ask me.

Golden Lady: I couldn't care less what "friends" think about my significant other, family either to a certain extent. I'm a grown woman and very good at making decisions.

Now if they have some proof of something unacceptable they can let me know. I'll take it from there.

Of course people get jealous and envious of other people. I have always said that NO ONE IS TO BE TRUSTED in totality but if they have some of your trust...hold on to them.

uglything:
I want to believe you've said it all cos you would be suprised at the level of envy your own friends would have for you when something is going good for you, especially financial or relationship wise.
Personally, i don't even think the parents matter either.

I've seen and had this happen with "friends". Parents matter to an extent. Some parents just want what they want for you and won't take into consideration the qualities of the person you've chosen

Mrs.Chima:


Of course people get jealous and envious of other people. I have always said that NO ONE IS TO BE TRUSTED in totality but if they have some of your trust...hold on to them.

I think you meant to quote blogger1.0

blogger1.0:
^^^true that, but trust me, real life experiences have taught me that envy has no respect for friendships and therefore has been a major cause of broken friendships

Golden Lady: I couldn't care less what "friends" think about my significant other, family either to a certain extent. I'm a grown woman and very good at making decisions.

Now if they have some proof of something unacceptable they can let me know. I'll take it from there.

My dear you wouldn't even want that either, trust me.
Once that so called 'friend' is an envious type, he/she can heinously create a scenerio that wasn't supposed to be there in the first place just to fulfil their own desires; even if not to snatch him/her away from you, but just to make sure things don't work out for you.

Mrs.Chima:
My closest friends and family members I trust....love them some Chima! They always asking me if he have single brothers! Even if he did have single brothers....that doesn't mean they would be like him.

I have never cared what people thought of me or the men I have dated. It doesn't affect them so why bother to entertain them? My husband have told me a few chicks that I know tried to get up on him and I laughed. I asked him if he was grinning and flexing? He gave me an evil look.

Some of my female coworkers always worrying about what people think of their dates and one of them asked me what I thought...I told her if you ain't prepared for the truth...I suggest you not ask me.

Loool

I DO care about how my friends would view the man in my life. Not because I'm insecure...more like I wouldn't want them disrespecting him for any reason. I would want them to have a good opinion of him, just like I do. Because it would make me feel damn proud to have a man my friends could have high regard for and look up to.

When he commands that degree of respect from my friends and other people around, it only raises his profile the more with me.

lola.luv:
I DO care about how my friends would view the man in my life. Not because I'm insecure...more like I wouldn't want them disrespecting him for any reason. I would want them to have a good opinion of him, just like I do. Because it would make me feel damn proud to have a man my friends could have high regard for and look up to.

When he commands that degree of respect from my friends and other people around, it only raises his profile the more with me.

And what if they don't...i.e have a good opinion of him?
Would you leave or have less respect for your man?

blogger1.0:

And what if they don't...i.e have a good opinion of him?
Would you leave or have less respect for your man?

Never really thought of that cause that's a situation I've never been in. But I can't think of any reason why a man in my life should not respected. If I place him highly before them, then surely, they gots to respect him??

And if they don't, they won't make it so obvious by being rude and stuff. At most, they'll keep away (I guess).

lola.luv:


Never really thought of that cause that's a situation I've never been in. But I can't think of any reason why a man in my life should not be respected. If I place him highly before them, then surely, they gots to respect him??

And if they don't, they won't make it so obvious by being rude and stuff. At most, they'll keep away (I guess).

Lol, you almost make it sound like you have friends who find you intimidating or something like that

^^^
Intimidating? Nah!

Owk...my bad

Golden Lady:

I think you meant to quote blogger1.0

Sorry! I was using my phone and pretending like i am listening to thesupervisor!