yuzedo: Aah! I hate to remember the day o!

One babe like dat say make I gi am d pum-pum style..

My d(ic)k don dey arrange imself wen we no dey o! But na by the time I meet the meat live.. Ewoooo!!! My nnabuenyi Bleep up dat day.. D nyash be like battle-tank!! nnabuenyi no gree rise we tried everything we could, but d lame d(ic)k disappoint me dat day!

I gave the stupid dick 12 lashes of the cane when I got home!!! eeeeeeeeeeeediot! so embarrazzin!

iyatrustee:


bros yuzedo! no be dis kind touch meat dem ask you oh!

yuzedo:

Ah aah? Aunty iyaT...I tink say meat na meat na?! Una don dey do meat discrimination o!

J.Sparrow:
Lol at all this meat encounters, if one of this peeps choke to death cos of meat wonder what they would tell God. Lol. Eat fish its healthier with less hassles no allow fishbone choke u sha

doofanc: Mine is actually a terrifying experience at d local buka. The owner is notorious 4 her peculiar brand of extra tough meat, but why people (including me) still keep going there in droves is beyond me.

Anyway na so i order 4 my rice and stew and predictably, d meat could easily pass for a leather wallet. I no too mind sha, as i had successfuly demolished them in past so i didn't think this one would pose any problem. How wrong i was.

Na so i chop rice finish come begin attack d thing. I chew, chew, chew for where. At last i say make just swallow the whole. Gbam na there yawa come gas. E just hook 4 my throat, refusing to move down. I then noticed was having difficulty breathing. WTF?! I WAS CHOKING! It was d most frightening experience i can ever remember having. Its like having an invisible hand squeezing my neck.

Na so water come begin commot my eye. (no be say i dey cry o, but i no kno why water come dey) some people then came to my aid tapping and rubbing my back. Choking, Coughing, panting, wheezing. . .then at one final heave, the useless thing fell out of my mouth. See wetin meat wan cause. Needless to say that was d last time i visited that place.

slimyem: Any meat that a fork and knife can't do justice to,i leave alone or if it looks too yummy to be left alone,i wrap in a serviette and take home!

J.Sparrow:
Lol at all this meat encounters, if one of this peeps choke to death cos of meat wonder what they would tell God. Lol. Eat fish its healthier with less hassles no allow fishbone choke u sha

J.Sparrow:
Lol at all this meat encounters, if one of this peeps choke to death cos of meat wonder what they would tell God. Lol. Eat fish its healthier with less hassles no allow fishbone choke u sha

ednut1: mine was in gand o, my uncle and his familiy jst collected british passport dat day, me was on holiday there, so dey decided to go to a chinese chop as u like 10 pounds per person, orishi rishi ,meat, was using fork nd knife and d meat no gree cut, d next round of eatin i packed enuf beef, naso i start to dey use my hand, me no care till my cousin told me to look up, i was live on der projector wit every one lookin, i jst froze wishin d ground open o

iyatrustee: went to a popular mama put with some colleagues. You know how they pack meats on a seperate plate right? I started demolishing the meat and was lucky cos all d ones i took were soft until i took one last one dat was not as soft as the others. I bit it by the sides and decided to swallow the minimally large chunk after calculating it would pass thru my throat just fine but alas! the tin no gree go. tried to use water to push it down all to no avail as i had to put my hand in my mouth and vommited everytin

Gentle Naaz: D day i went 2 my girl's house 2 celebrat ha birtdy wt ha friends. during refreshmnt, i ws offered peppe soup n a bottle of legend, likwise evry oda persn. I ws chewing a vry tough meet 4 mor dan 15 minutes n it seems lik evry1 noticed it. So immediately i swallowd d big meet n it hung in my throat n my eyes spewd. D girls begn 2 form " hey, guy y na,u wud hv spit out d meet" my girl ws embarrassd n i madddddddd. Some were sayn "my guy cnt 4k up lik ds, hvnt u eatn meet b4?" i cnt evn say a word cos d meet ws still dia n my eyes still spewd

torhuke: Broz, e no get haw e wan be except say dem give me d meat free. Meat wey i take ma money buy wey wan prove strong head go meat me 4 haus. I go 1 dinner wey ticket and 2k. The food no make sense sef so i say make i take d meat console ma sef and make up 4 ma 2k. As i use fork carry d whole meat put 4 mouth @ once cos fork & spoon no gree cut am.. Na im i begin chew sotey ma jawz begin pain me. I jst carry table water wash ma hand small under d table (untop tilez sef), remove d chewed meat 4 ma mouth and begin use hand & teeth chop am small small till e finish. Heheh, ma frend wey we dey d same table come dey behave like oyibo wey no dey shit dey spoil nose. I finish ma meat enter him own sef.. Pttchew.
I also rememba ma dad sendin me on an erand and i got hook & famished. I enterd d nearst eatry & orderd 4 food. Itz all those kindah big eatery wher u go collect yr food by yr sef. D attendantz were ravishing beautiful lassies. Xo after i wx servd, dey told me ma bill wx 900 naira & i only budgeted 300 or at most 400 naira. Buh i became nervous and paid d bill (augumented wt ma t-fare). I wx suppose to eat d meat whyl eating d food but becos d meat wx strong i left it to be d last tin i will deal wt. After i emptied d plate of food, i jst threw d fork & spoon of d table & grabed d meat wt ma hand. Broz, i even cracked d bone & sucked d marrowz dt d babez were gigling @ dem selvez to look @ me batling wt d bone.. I cleand ma mouth & hand wt d serviet. Wen i got out, i bot pure water & washed ma handz clean. 4 ma mind, na ma money i dey chop.. God punish ravishing beauty!

acidtalk: Was invited by ex girlfriend's family to a buffet in a 5 start hotel in Lagos, i thought i had chosen a very soft meat only to discover it DAMN HARD. well i form like say nothing do me.

When i couldn't keep fooling myself with fork and knife, i started using my hands. Before i could say jack, the meat first fell on my shirt, my trouser before dropping on the floor.

The table was silent for like 10seconds.
Omo, i boned them, picked it up, dusted it and continued eating.

Everyone one that table were over friendly after that situation. Na so old and small drop fork and knife begin use hand tear meat.


But till date i still feel embarrassed when i remember. but i am glad i earned their respect at being natural

Lady George :

U ave made my day. some people dey go eatry go form i dont eat with fork when ever i go to any eatry i demand for spoon na hungry carry me go there no be aje. If de meat no wan cut with that blunt knife i dey use my hand carry am eat i no get time 4 ravishing beauty at all

dmcdad:

I love that gurl. I like it when people are real and simple. Y the forming and d film-tricks when people kan just b themselves? Abi dem don start 2 dy do beauty pageant 4 eatery again?

ednut1: mine was in gand o, my uncle and his familiy jst collected british passport dat day, me was on holiday there, so dey decided to go to a chinese chop as u like 10 pounds per person, orishi rishi ,meat, was using fork nd knife and d meat no gree cut, d next round of eatin i packed enuf beef, naso i start to dey use my hand, me no care till my cousin told me to look up, i was live on der projector wit every one lookin, i jst froze wishin d ground open o

Xionez: Ha, that day.

It was at a wedding ceremony. I was served rice with 3 pieces of meat. I tore through the rice and proceeded to settle down and savor the meat.
Into my mouth went the first and second. Soft and sweet like gizzard. Thinking that the last the same, I popped it whole into my mouth.

Alas, it was that muscle part that was hard to chew and, if successfully broken down, gets stuck between the teeth.
I spent a good 15mins chewing like a he-goat in my table. I was silent in my battle but as time went, it became obvious that a mini nuclear war was raging in my mouth.

I began to receive stares from my table mates. It was at this point I deliberated on spitting the meat out (which would be very disgusting) or swallowing it whole (which would be deadly).

I balanced my options (while still chewing like a goat) and decided to simply stand up and make a dash for it.

I had to chuck the thing in a bin before a pretty chick decides to approach me.

I returned to my table with fish while smiling ear to ear to hide my embarrassment.