stillwater: Well if you want matured and sensible comments, you'd better write sensibly. What on earth did you write?

rukayatd: wat do u do ia marriage wwen ur hubby says he told his friend dat he luvs u too much to divorce u but he has to take a 2nd wife cos u dnt respect him.disrespecting him involves beatin ur child wen she does wrong or talkin bak at him when playin.pls no insultive comments just sensible nd mature comments

Princess1982: I would tell my husband go ahead get another wife if I was married then have him thrown in jail for bigotry but I live in the United States were its against the law to have more then one wife. I really don't know what to tell you but if he is beating the kids you have to think about what is best for your children but i am lost as well who is beating the kids you or him?

he luvs u too much to divorce u but he has to take a 2nd wife cos u dnt respect him.

disrespecting him involves:
*beatin ur child wen she does wrong or
*talkin bak at him when playin.

ferhyntorlah: This is what I can deduce from her post:


The man loves her too much; he won't divorce her but the poster has been exhibiting acts of disrespect, which the man is tired of.

I want to believe he must have told her several times whenever she disrespects him but she didn't take him seriously. So he feels inorder to earn the respect he so yearns for, he has to take another wife with the mindset that doing so will make her buckle up.
Fanks.u r on point.i guess i take the things he takes serious as jokes


Poster, I'm of the view you married a sensitive man, who doesn't take things lightly. Some things that might not be a big deal to you may be to him.

I think you didn't take time to study him well to know his dos & don'ts when you got married or as he kept exhibiting his traits in the course of your marriage.

He doesn't like you beating both your child, then please DON'T! You both should find another method of punishing her when she does wrong. You both must work in union in training your child since you both conceived her.

Regarding you talking back at him while playing, I will say this is a sensitive matter that has to be handled with wisdom. Like I earlier wrote, he has a sensitive nature.

I want to believe he doesn't like being:
*talked to angrily/rudely
*shouted/snapped at
*cut short in conversations.
*disrespected when his instructions aren't obeyed.

My take is when you both are playing/not playing/discussing, either keep quiet or be mindful of your choice of words around him and also the tone of your voice.

Like jidegirl12 said, he might have decided to take another wife but just using these as excuses to justify his action.

Dear poster, I wish you all the best.

rukayatd: I had to make it brief because nairalanders often complain of a post bn too long.let me expantite now.my being disrespectful involves acts like me beating our child when she does wrong or talking back at him when playing.guess i made my point clear enough

jidegirl12:

You haven't said what you're doing that's pissing him off at you.... and enough with your attitude... who force you to post on NL? I see why your hubby is pissed!( rolled eyes!)

ferhyntorlah: @jidegirl12, please no vex.

@rukayatd, from your last post, the tone I'm getting is that of a temperamental person. Please, take it easy and cool down; there's no need to get yourself unnecessarily worked up.

Your definition of disrespect might not be the same for another. You see nothing wrong in beating your daughter when she does wrong but your husband isn't towing that line with you.

Both of you need to find your equilibrium, that is your mid-point, where you both agree on the appropriate punishment for her.
Fanks really unlike pple who won't make a point but rather judge you thinkin they are better off.you have been a rock fanks

Please be tolerant of your husband's views and I also hope he tolerates yours too. Sometimes in marriage, one has to give in to the other's request for peace to reign.

I'm not in the marriage with you; you only know where the shoe is pinching. If you value your togetherness as husband and wife, madam, you've to listen, give in and control your temper.

Good luck!

rukayatd:
U dint ave to b so aggressive oi just did wat u wanted me to do sry if it sounded lyk dat dint mean to

rukayatd: wat do u do ia marriage wwen ur hubby says he told his friend dat he luvs u too much to divorce u but he has to take a 2nd wife cos u dnt respect him.disrespecting him involves beatin ur child wen she does wrong or talkin bak at him when playin.pls no insultive comments just sensible nd mature comments

jidegirl12: Don't mind her jare ....when she was doing the Nikai did the Alfas mentioned for better for worse ?