Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me had you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
*****************************************
Dear Ex-Husband -
> >Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me So take care.
Signed, your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

Hahahaahha, he got punked

read it b4 bt still cool

hello love

Hey Baby, missed u so much my love

aisha2:

Hey Baby, missed u so much my love

Am cool my love. Guess u r referring to me and not that loser.

Ina kwana, ki tashi lafia?

ayusman16:

Am cool my love. Guess you're referring to me and not that loser.

Ina kwana, ki tashi lafia?

no wonder they call u anusman,shay u no go find a butt to kiss on and leave my sweet heart alone.

@Foolish, U want us to settle it outside

naaaaah i don't need to waste my energy on a roach like u,i've got bigger fish to fry i'm sure my sweet heart will take care of u.oh yeah less i 4get i don't need to fight 4 wat i already hav so knock urself out.asswipe

@Aisha2

Ur man has chickened out. _{he can't even fight for his woman}. Dump the coward and come to a strong brother who gotta lots of love to shower on u.

@Fisherman Foolish
U wan start to dey look for fish now?

awwwwww meeeen am confronted by a slowpoke

Too dumb to even understand a slowpoke? Na wao for u ooo

i shake head 4 u man,i can c u need help.i better call nightnurse to give u a doze of some good stuff.

Would appreciate that man. Thanks man!

u welcome STUPID (no hard feelings)

Folly so Foolish that he couldnt spell STUPID This guy never cease to amaze me. Akuya, rago, busunru!

folly69:

naaaaah i don't need to waste my energy on a roach like u,i've got bigger fish to fry i'm sure my sweet heart will take care of u.oh yeah less i forget i don't need to fight 4 what i already hav so knock yourself out.asswipe

Nothing as sweet as a man with confidenc in his woman, thats hy i keep fallingin love over and over again. And you Ayusman, Back off.

keep falling till u can fall no more

Folly! folly! folly! u need to get with ur english programme, the same happened in ur battle with ify.
Polish ur GUNS before u go to battle.

hmm mewa n sele, thngs are hapenin

@Aisha2

U know i can do better than that "thing" u call ur man! walahi try am for me

JEEEEZ asswipe i guess de next thing to do is to start beggin, meeeeen i c u havin girl problems i feel bad 4 u anusman i gat 1001 problems and u definately ain't 1 so buzz off

Baby, dont dignify his desperates attempts to annoy u ith answers

u rite sweetie,so hw has ur day been?

Cool hon, filled ith tots of u

oh yeah tell me bout it

I am in d middle of a borin meeting, I envisioed you walking in here with a bunch of flowers and giving me a kiss

and a whole lot more kisses 4 dat

Chei! I can smell valentine in the air

wonders shall never end on nairaland

of course it wont end if it does then it won't b fun anymore

aphrodyte dis ur username baffle meooo!y u no complt am now?