Dear Husband:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good.
> I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
> show
> for it. These last two weeks have been hell.
> Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and
> that was the last straw. Last week,
> you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails
> done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
> You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
> after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you

> don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love

> me anymore, Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
>
> P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
> moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
>
>
> Your EX-Wife
>
> Dear Ex-Wife
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman
is
> a
> far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
> drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did
> notice when
> you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came
to
> mind
> was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
> anything
> if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal,
> you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped
> eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on

> that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed
> that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
> dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After
> all of this, I still
> loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered
> that I
> had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
> I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
> home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope

> you have
> the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your
letter
> that
> you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
> born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>
> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

so, so FUNNY! LOL!