I have had a number of failed relationship, that would have otherwise led to marriage becuase I was honest about my genotype from the word go.
I am the type of guy who is very straight forward and lays all my cards on the table when I am going into a serious relationship.
The last of such failed relationship is kind of painful, because from the very beginning I told the lady that if my SS status was going to be a barrier she should not even bother dating me. Moreover, I have already made up my mind to settle down this year.

Now, I am battling with myself if I should reveal to the next person anything about my genotype(this goes against me principle of going to equity with clean hands). Or should I just pretend to be AS and try to find out if the person is AA as the relationship progresses. Because, when you stay with me for sometime you will never know that I am SS.

I need some advice please, because am not really growing younger, am well into my thirties and financially am not complaining too much.

As much as it affect us as a couple,our future and our kids.(genotype inclusive)

k2039: As much as it affect us as a couple,our future and our kids.

It is kind of painful, being judged by something U have little or no control over. Being told "I Love U" while the person is just prolonging the day she will leave you.
Using you as a stepping stone to achieve certain things, her parents cannot provide for her.

Revelation on issues that bothers on Genotype is a must always!

Abali1:

It is kind of painful, being judged by something U have little or no control over. Being told "I Love U" while the person is just prolonging the day she will leave you.
Using you as a stepping stone to achieve certain things, her parents cannot provide for her.

You have to be honest about your genotype,their is someone out there who will love you inspite of it,you just have not found that special someone.The AA girl is on her way,relax,it's better your ex left you now than leave you in the marriage.

I would NEVER reveal EVERYTHING to ANYBODY........... NEVER!
No matter how much in love or trust i am in. That shyt ALWAYS comes back to BITE like a MUTHA!

dat much

I feel you so much poster coz I have a friend that something similar haPpend to. But you won't want to jeopadize the future of your kids would you?you have to state it in black n white. What I know is If she's yours she will stay irrespective of your genotype.
Don't worry your eve is on the way. Don't give and don't lie about it

Be honest with your genotype dude. You will surely find your match soon.

as much as i trust her

Open up and don't cover up your genotype. Better for her to know now than find out when you are married leaving you with a shattered heart. If she loves you, she will stay(that's if she's AA). But you still have to consider the future of your kids if she's "AS" I know how painful this is. Sometimes, cupid just shoot its arrow so deep in our heart that we don't wanna let go some certain things cos we are blindly in love.

Everything! Yet she has never querried my spending for once since the last 4yrs we've been together.

u have no choice but to reveal ur genotype.u wl surely find ur missing rib.

I don't mean to downgrade this thread but this is very important https://www.nairaland.com/1111682/scam-not-real#13079845

Am AA. Cld heal ur wounds dear

Abali1: I have had a number of failed relationship, that would have otherwise led to marriage becuase I was honest about my genotype from the word go.
I am the type of guy who is very straight forward and lays all my cards on the table when I am going into a serious relationship.
The last of such failed relationship is kind of painful, because from the very beginning I told the lady that if my SS status was going to be a barrier she should not even bother dating me. Moreover, I have already made up my mind to settle down this year.

Now, I am battling with myself if I should reveal to the next person anything about my genotype(this goes against me principle of going to equity with clean hands). Or should I just pretend to be AS and try to find out if the person is AA as the relationship progresses. Because, when you stay with me for sometime you will never know that I am SS.

I need some advice please, because am not really growing younger, am well into my thirties and financially am not complaining too much.

All should be told from the onset.Do you have any phicical tell-tale? Do you still get the crisis? sorry dude, some of us just can't live and share pains with our loved ones. It breaks our hearts a million times more to see them hurt so much so that we would rather we never got so close in the first instance. The truth.

As me i no come sabi my Genotype nko wetin i for do na

lol Poster you are the problem you have. Let me explain, you think because you are SS, ladies would not wanna settle down with you or they would break up with you so you carry it on your forehead like a placard and nature would obviously bring to you people that would not wanna settle down with ss its called the law of attraction. what ever you think about the most becomes your reality.

My Advice is this, Live your life , if you meet a lady forget the fact that you are SS and enjoy her like every other person would. When the time comes for her to know , the decision would be left to her. its not like you have a terminal illness or something. so my guy enjoy your life and stop worrying over the fact that you are SS !!

moreeni:

All should be told from the onset.Do you have any phicical tell-tale? Do you still get the crisis? sorry dude, some of us just can't live and share pains with our loved ones. It breaks our hearts a million times more to see them hurt so much so that we would rather we never got so close in the first instance. The truth.

I rarely do have crisis. Once in a 18 months and it doesn't last more than 24hours. and I don't have tell-tale sign. I live a good life.
My pain is because, I told her from the beginning not to go into a relationship with me if it will only lead to a crash after she has informed her family. She told me that she can make up her own mind.
I asked severally if I did anything wrong and the answer was a repeated NO. It is just that her family doesn't want her to marry a SS (exactly the question I posited in the beginning).
It is just another one year of wasted emotions.

lumideezle: As me i no come sabi my Genotype nko wetin i for do na

lol Poster you are the problem you have. Let me explain, you think because you are SS, ladies would not wanna settle down with you or they would break up with you so you carry it on your forehead like a placard and nature would obviously bring to you people that would not wanna settle down with ss its called the law of attraction. what ever you think about the most becomes your reality.

My Advice is this, Live your life , if you meet a lady forget the fact that you are SS and enjoy her like every other person would. When the time comes for her to know , the decision would be left to her. its not like you have a terminal illness or something. so my guy enjoy your life and stop worrying over the fact that you are SS !!

My dear SS doesn't really bother me. When I go into relationship these days am not just looking for a girlfriend, am past that level. Moreover I don't plan for a long courtship. 6months to 1 year is okay for me to make up my mind if I want to risk marriage with someone. Hence, the reason why I decided to open up even before we start dating.

Pls, open up when it has to do with medical issue, especially ur genotype, because of d future of ur kids, im sure u wont ur unborn lovely children to go thru what u went or going thru, so, for their sake, open up, ur own flesh and bone will surely come, even soonest, be rest assured dt, no matter what, there is a woman dt is created for u.

Abali1:

I rarely do have crisis. Once in a 18 months and it doesn't last more than 24hours. and I don't have tell-tale sign. I live a good life.
My pain is because, I told her from the beginning not to go into a relationship with me if it will only lead to a crash after she has informed her family. She told me that she can make up her own mind.
I asked severally if I did anything wrong and the answer was a repeated NO. It is just that her family doesn't want her to marry a SS (exactly the question I posited in the beginning).
It is just another one year of wasted emotions.

Heiya.......SURE @op I really feel ur pain.
Try and remain honest dear, God'll sure give U ur match AA IJN....Amen

Am d reserved guy,i dnt tlk d@ much

can't hide anything finance frm her. u've got to be straight.

Bros, ur own will surely accept u for who you are, try and tell her every thing, it does not matter when der is true LOVE, I ve seen a guy with HIV positive dat got married to a lady, her parents disowned her but she refused to let him go. Just pray for directions on how to locate ur wife daz all. I wish u d Best.

Tell d truth,d truth will set u free.

U need not talk too much from d start. However, once u make up ur mind to marry this person, then u shld let her know. But only at d point when u both started talking serious.

Abali1: Or should I just pretend to be AS and try to find out if the person is AA as the relationship progresses. Because, when you stay with me for sometime you will never know that I am SS.

[size=20]If you DECEIVED a person into marriage, just know the union is null and void from the beginning. If you lie a person to the altar, no marriage actually exists even if there was a ceremony. Marriage is a covenant; you can't get married under falsehood. Get yourself occupied, and pray to GOD about it. I am sure there are the likes of you that are happily married.[/size] Let me echo Lumideezle's suggestion: Live your life, if you meet a lady forget the fact that you are SS and enjoy her like every other person would. When the time comes for her to know, the decision would be left to her. It's not like you have a terminal illness or something; so my guy enjoy your life and stop worrying over the fact that you are SS!

Go to https://www.nairaland.com/1096736/conditions-divorce-christianity-some-legal

amypaul: Bros, ur own will surely accept u for who you are, try and tell her every thing, it does not matter when der is true LOVE, I ve seen a guy with HIV positive dat got married to a lady, her parents disowned her but she refused to let him go. Just pray for directions on how to locate ur wife daz all. I wish u d Best.

Hey Ms, is that actually a true story? because I have also seen too many women believing untrue stories, not because they are fools but because of some other reasons why they are women.

Abali1:

It is kind of painful, being judged by something U have little or no control over. Being told "I Love U" while the person is just prolonging the day she will leave you.
Using you as a stepping stone to achieve certain things, her parents cannot provide for her.

Look I know ur situation is painful but u have to approach it pragmatically. U need to think up a strategy. I would help you with the following points.

1) Try to socialize a lot: The main motive is to have as many female friends as possible and ensure that most of them are potential wives for you. The more female friends, the higher the probability of finding one that will suit you.

2) Work on their psychology: Try to prepare a favorable ground for your SS bombshell before unleashing it to a lady. Psychologically, if a lady has a scary perception of SS, U stand little or no chance of keeping her still after telling her that u are SS. So how do u work this out? engage them in intellectual discussions most of the time, discuss issues on health generally and establish an impression of yourself that you are knowledgeable as far as human health is concerned... This is to make her respect your opinion and believe you when u say something on health and the people. Tell her about popular myth about ppl's health and how funny is it that these things are not actually true don't discuss genotype yet. U don't have to do this on the same day otherwise it can not work. It has to be a gradual build up and u have to be sure that she is agreeing with u on one point before moving to the next.

3) Be more romantic and sweet. Do sweet things that common guys wouldn't do for their girlfriends. Be very masculine and always in charge, Be very clean and smell fresh, do not limit ur affection to just spending money on her alone. Do little things that most guys are shy to do...She would love u so much and start to think that she can not live without you.

4) Make sure that you get to that level, where u are convinced that she is very in love with you and everything you do, then you can now raise the issue of genotype. Bear it in mind that you only have to pray that she is AA and discuss further on how it is of no disadvantage since she is AA. You are healthy and would live long, there are many SS around these days and u will never know they are SS. At this level, the steps u have taken at steps 2&3 would likely work to ur advantage

Note. this is just a framework, u should know how to blend it to reality. But I would not advise u to go into any lady other than AA. Otherwise, its going to be a lifelong regret.
Good luck!

@Anvaller, my problem is not getting a lady to fall in love. My problem is not about socializing with the female folk (at least UNILAG will do that for any lilly livered guy).

My problem is getting a lady that can fight for what she wants, even if her parents tell her otherwise.

The girls always tell me that I have what they want in a man, then family gets to know about my genotype and puts FEAR into them.
The last girl, knew very well that I want her to stand up to her family. I even had to speak with the brother, who told me that he doesn't see the big deal in me marrying his sisiter. But the problem is their father. I asked to speak to their father at least, but she started growing cold feet.

But she wants to remain friends and I just don't see myself being friends with someone whose parents discriminates against me.

the best things is to reveal everything, so that nothing will worries your mind in future

k2039:

You have to be honest about your genotype,their is someone out there who will love you inspite of it,you just have not found that special someone.The AA girl is on her way,relax,it's better your ex left you now than leave you in the marriage.

guy you should have use pigin intead, pigin is also acceptable on NL