chinedum13:
guy you should have use pigin intead, pigin is also acceptable on NL

You comment is senseless

Every tin cos its beta he hears from me dan hearing it outside. By then wen u start explaining u become d liar

i think you have been taking the best decision by being truthful. Thats d only way you can get who truly wanna spend the rest of her life wit you.It will b hard 2 b plain but its d best way forward.

guy, let her know. Don't, and i say DONT keep anything hidden not matter what.

Abali1:

I rarely do have crisis. Once in a 18 months and it doesn't last more than 24hours. and I don't have tell-tale sign. I live a good life.
My pain is because, I told her from the beginning not to go into a relationship with me if it will only lead to a crash after she has informed her family. She told me that she can make up her own mind.
I asked severally if I did anything wrong and the answer was a repeated NO. It is just that her family doesn't want her to marry a SS (exactly the question I posited in the beginning).
It is just another one year of wasted emotions.

I can't imagine ur pain no matter how I try, how painfull it will be 4 u 2 remember d way she loved ur companionship, laughed @ ur jokes. U enjoyed it as well, she was very good but how c'd she do this after all d such a 'friendship'? I can't say & won't even try, she may later wish things jst as u r wishing her but u have 2 use the ultimate tool; FORGIVENESS, forgive her 4 it all, 4 nt understanding & 4 leaving when trouble brewed. Secondly, forgive urself 4 holding it against her or her family, whichever, the sacrifice was beyond her ability yet u wished she had make her folks see reason (what if she tried jst 4 ur sake). U c'd do this & not feel ąŋɏ different, u may still fight d urge 2 let goo so easily but u are brave enough 2 seek help, u w'd be wise enough to kn help when u c 1. U were created 4 a purpose which only the CREATOR can reveal to u, so seek HIM no matter how awkward u are tempted 2 feel. What u r looking 4 is not really out there, u may just be wishing it to be as every1 has said. It c'd b closer than u ever imagined. Cheer up Bro & let go of the past! U can win this.

2 of my relationships failed cos I revealed that my mom had cancer. Then everyone includin some of my spiritual advisers told me that I shd have hidden it. Today I don't regret it cos I have someone who knows all abt me and doesn't feel its an ish. So u will meet a wonderful person soon.

kitty kat: 2 of my relationships failed cos I revealed that my mom had cancer. Then everyone includin some of my spiritual advisers told me that I shd have hidden it. Today I don't regret it cos I have someone who knows all abt me and doesn't feel its an ish. So u will meet a wonderful person soon.

But seriously, ignorance is a killer. This people who did this to you just because you revealed that your mum has cancer and completely stup1d.

Some Nigerians need to read more. That is how I lost an aunt of my mine to cancer and she would have lasted longer if I had been around because at the early stage of her diagnosis, she was told to go for some chemotherapy but ignorant f00ls told her that if she went for it, she wouldnt return. But didnt she die at the end and much shorter? When she went back to the hospital, the doctor realised that she didnt take his advice. I wouldnt blame her because she is educated.

This guys probably think they will contact cancer or something along that line.

They said they didn't ant to suffer hat my dad suffered. Back to sender I say to them. The last parents said they want to contaminate their lineage with cancer genes. MOFOs.

kitty kat: They said they didn't ant to suffer hat my dad suffered. Back to sender I say to them. The last parents said they want to contaminate their lineage with cancer genes. MOFOs.

it all boils down to ignorance and fact is they never liked you as saw that as a lever to ease the offload.

Anyway, the earlier the better.

2sexy: it all boils down to ignorance and fact is they never liked you as saw that as a lever to ease the offload.

Anyway, the earlier the better.

The earlier d better joor.

Not anyone mentions d fact that OP claims he told her to go if she wldnt be able to deal with his status. I don't see any1 staying wv him if he keeps speaking that way.

You shld try to understand that it is scary enough that u are SS and u wld need to be nicer more jovial,more respectful than an average guy. That is the truth.

About opening up OP,I thnk it shldnt be from d very begining. Let are see d other sides of u beyond d genotype and she might find you irresustible.

deols: Not anyone mentions d fact that OP claims he told her to go if she wldnt be able to deal with his status. I don't see any1 staying wv him if he keeps speaking that way.

You shld try to understand that it is scary enough that u are SS and u wld need to be nicer more jovial,more respectful than an average guy. That is the truth.

About opening up OP,I thnk it shldnt be from d very begining. Let are see d other sides of u beyond d genotype and she might find you irresustible.

I understand your point. But I can't change who I am. I have met some ladies who got to know after having fallen in Love with me, their excuse for not going the whole length was that "it wasn't the Will of God".
I didn't mean to scare anyone, and I hardly wear my genotype as a badge. I opened up to the last lady cos, am in my 30s and an only son.
What is the use of wasting someone's time, when U obviously know that deep within you, the will power to go along is not there.
Believe me, I am a nice guy but ladies like to take advantage of the "Nice Guys".

Abali1: I have had a number of failed relationship, that would have otherwise led to marriage becuase I was honest about my genotype from the word go.
I am the type of guy who is very straight forward and lays all my cards on the table when I am going into a serious relationship.
The last of such failed relationship is kind of painful, because from the very beginning I told the lady that if my SS status was going to be a barrier she should not even bother dating me. Moreover, I have already made up my mind to settle down this year.

Now, I am battling with myself if I should reveal to the next person anything about my genotype(this goes against me principle of going to equity with clean hands). Or should I just pretend to be AS and try to find out if the person is AA as the relationship progresses. Because, when you stay with me for sometime you will never know that I am SS.

I need some advice please, because am not really growing younger, am well into my thirties and financially am not complaining too much.

So, knowing the potential LETHAL consequences that may lie ahead, you are asking us if it is OK to [b]DECEIVE [/b]someone into committing to a relationship with you? Cause it is deception if you know that there is potential harm that may come of such a commitment as a result of your situation , but instead choose to stay mum about it.

How does one explain this: "You Have Everything I Want In A Man, but......(then she starts using parents as an excuse)"

This was just few months into the relationship, I wanted to opt out but she wanted us to wait upon God. She once opened up that her mother went to a woman(obviously a prayer woman) who told her that the "daughter is happy where she is"
I believe it was just FEAR of the unknown.

Abali1: How does one explain this: "You Have Everything I Want In A Man, but......(then she starts using parents as an excuse)"

This was just few months into the relationship, I wanted to opt out but she wanted us to wait upon God. She once opened up that her mother went to a woman(obviously a prayer woman) who told her that the "daughter is happy where she is"
I believe it was just FEAR of the unknown.

Why in the world would you want someone who gives you or uses such a flippant reason?? I mean if are not even sure she is HONEST with her reasons, why would you want her for a wife?

Please, enough of trying to create a mystery box around you. We already know so much of your condition(medical science I mean) that you do not need to pretend that you have a disability of some kind. What you are dealing with there is a situation that even those who are 100% healthy also deal with. Like them, you just need to wait and look out for the right person for you.

And in the meantime, it might behoove you to get yourself seriously educated on your condition, so that when next you find yourself speaking on it, rather than scaring people, you EDUCATE them on how "NOT SO SERIOUS" being an SS is especially with all the advancements in science and medicine. I mean for pete's sake, you are not an AIDs patient(unless you also have AIDS). Heck, even people with AIDs now live normal lives.

Only some weeks ago, a guy with AIDS got married here, and he is even considering having a child or more, if he can do so safely.

deols: Not anyone mentions d fact that OP claims he told her to go if she wldnt be able to deal with his status. I don't see any1 staying wv him if he keeps speaking that way.

You shld try to understand that it is scary enough that u are SS and u wld need to be nicer more jovial,more respectful than an average guy. That is the truth.

About opening up OP,I thnk it shldnt be from d very begining. Let are see d other sides of u beyond d genotype and she might find you irresustible.

While I understand your point but I tend to disagree with the bolded because that would look like begging someone to love you. The truth is that wouldnt solve the problem. if someone dont love you there is nothing you can do about it.

This is the 3rd time I am reading something like this here. I will also like to know what would be the best type of Genotype one have SS could marry? I ask in case I come across some having the same probleam so that I can know how to help them.

2sexy:

While I understand your point but I tend to disagree with the bolded because that would look like begging someone to love you. The truth is that wouldnt solve the problem. if someone dont love you there is nothing you can do about it.

This is the 3rd time I am reading something like this here. I will also like to know what would be the best type of Genotype one have SS could marry? I ask in case I come across some having the same probleam so that I can know how to help them.

The person would need to have the AA genotype.

I agree wv the begging part.

Kobojunkie:


And in the meantime, it might behoove you to get yourself seriously educated on your condition, so that when next you find yourself speaking on it, rather than scaring people, you EDUCATE them on how "NOT SO SERIOUS" being an SS is especially with all the advancements in science and medicine. I mean for pete's sake, you are not an AIDs patient(unless you also have AIDS). Heck, even people with AIDs now live normal lives.

Only some weeks ago, a guy with AIDS got married here, and he is even considering having a child or more, if he can do so safely.

I opened this thread just to educate people here on NL about SCD.
nairaland.com/1087596/facts-myths-sickle-cell-disease

In real life it takes more than talking or creating awareness to get people to look beyond a certain medical terminology.
It is an open minded person that does not discriminate/stigmatizes others.

Abali1: In real life it takes more than talking or creating awareness to get people to look beyond a certain medical terminology.
It is an open minded person that does not discriminate/stigmatizes others.

Actually, in real life, that is all it takes. . . . talking to people and creating awareness. That is how you get people Educated. You engage them as much as you can. You find opportunities to talk about it, and you go to length to ensure that you yourself are Educated enough to answer any and all questions they may think to throw at you.
That is how the gay and lesbian society in the world came to were they are today. From talking to people and educating people about themselves. They were stigmatized and even ostracized in many societies but today, they are more accepted in many more nations than many of us ever thought would happen.

Such a pertinent information should NEVER be witheld from prospective partners.
They should have the choice to make their own decisions concerning the degree of relationship to be determined.