Dating outside one’s race really has come a long way. Through centuries of racism, segregation, immigration, and pure hate, it was unheard of for any race to openly date and/or marry another race.

Worries of social acceptance, ignorance, and fear of the unknown, have kept many people from stepping outside of their racial makeup to fall in love with someone who does not look like them. Many still suffer from these woes, but from personal experience, let us take a closer look at one race and gender more in-depth… Black women.

Why, as Black women, do we have such a hard time dating any other man besides our “brothers”?

Why, as Black women, can we not see ourselves loving, marrying, having children, and creating a home with a man that does not hold our complexion?

Why, as Black women, do we place such a large amount of weight on the beauty of a Black man instead of looking around to find the beauty of a White man, an Asian man, or even an Indian man?

Are we, as Black women, too loyal to our Black men?

“Yes. I think that we are too loyal to Black men. And, what makes it so bad is they couldn’t care less! Black men date any type of woman they want. We [Black women] are sitting here waiting on them to pay us some attention and they are out dating anything underneath the sun! Why wait on them? We need to learn how to do the same,” a friend, 24, responded.

Despite them being stereotyped as angry, scary, and unintelligent male species, Black men have broken the boundaries of race.

It’s a well-known fact that many Black men do not seem to carry any sort of restraint from dating whichever woman attracts their attention.

At one point in history, it was a disgrace of for an Asian woman to date a Black man. It was dangerous for a Black man to date a White woman. It was unheard of for a Latina woman to court a Black man. Not anymore.

Yet, many Black women feel as if dating outside of their race is a downgrade. Like there is some sort of unwritten, yet widely recognized rule forbidding us to date any man besides the ones that are our race in order to remain loyal in our relationships.

But, as just plain and simple women, we desire to be with a man that is strong, loving, a provider, loyal, trustworthy, and so on. Why can’t we find this in a man that is not Black?

“I’m just not attracted to non-Black men like I am to Black men. I would date and have fun with a non-Black man. But, I couldn’t marry one. I don’t get the same butterflies I get for a Black man,” another friend, 30, replied.

Everyone knows that attraction is key in any given relationship. So, we cannot judge anybody for not being attracted to a certain type of man.

But, where does attraction stem from? Is attraction directly correlated with individual desires that derive from personal thoughts, morals, and a person’s natural instinct?

Or is attraction a general feeling one feels from a combination of things, like our media, our family beliefs, our natural environments (neighborhoods and common hangouts), and what we have been brainwashed by society to say what is “good” or “bad”?

Because, if that is the case, maybe Black women feel more attracted to Black men because our fathers, uncles, grandfathers, brothers, or cousins were our role models. So, we feel a sense of pride when one represents as well as they did.

Or maybe our attraction comes from the media that hardly ever glamorizes relationships between Black women and non-Black men.

Possibly, Black women’s attraction for Black men is because we are unevenly exposed to more Black men in our lives than non-Black men and we find comfort in what we’ve been adapted to.

If this is all true, than our “attraction” may not be attraction at all. It could just be “what we know” and our sense of loyalty to the Black community. And, maybe, we could become accustomed to another race with the right amount of time and effort and, in turn, become attracted and loyal to them as well.

“It was a Black man that raised me, loved me, and nurtured me. I can’t turn my back on what he has done. My father is the epitome of a loyal Black man. I plan to find someone just like him and that includes race,” a close friend, 32, intently stated.

Whatever the result is, Black women have been loyal to our Black men in the hopes that they will reciprocate the same action. And, well, some do not.

But, let us not forget that some Black men do. At the very least, our lovers, sons, fathers, brothers, and the Black men that truly matter to us do care about the wellbeing of us Black women in both word and deed.

It is these men that have shaped the very fibers of our being with their unconditional love and pure affection. And, they are loyal.

So, are we loyal to Black men? Yes, we are… But, are we too loyal? No one can answer that.

http://www.isnare.com/?aid=1226395&ca=Relationships

Personally, I agree with this write-up... I think black women(Somalis included) are the most loyal race of women on this planet - except for probably only Pakistani women(not Indians, Punjabi women love white men and they have colour problems/consciousness)...

We can also throw the assertion that most men of other races are not naturally attracted to black women in the mix..

it was unheard of for any race to openly date and/or marry another race.

first sentence, first error?

@ topic

why do some black men such as the op, always disturb others with their personal issues?

is this something you need to straighten out with your mum?

do you blame her for dating your dad instead of some other race/tribe/nationality?

At a time, it was unheard of...

Racial mixing started in ancient Egypt after the hyskos invasion...

shymexx: Personally, I agree with this write-up... I think black women(Somalis included) are the most loyal race of women on this planet - only Pakistani women(not Indians, Punjabi women love white men and they have colour problems/consciousness)...

We can also throw the assertion that most men of other races are not naturally attracted to black women in the mix..

I think many do, but fear to express it
Also in the US, when black women date white, black men get angry

i dont think so!

tpia1: @ topic

why do some black men such as the op, always disturb others with their personal issues?

is this something you need to straighten out with your mum?

do you blame her for dating your dad instead of some other race/tribe/nationality?

What are you on about? - and is there anything bad in trying to have a discourse with people?

Despite them being stereotyped as angry, scary, and unintelligent male species, Black men have broken the boundaries of race.

only because whites decided to allow you to.

end of!

they drum, you dance, they stop drumming, you stop dancing.

that's all there is to it.

Go check your history books and see how it started...

That's why the Arabs are labelled as the bastard race because the first racial mixing birthed the modern day Arabs..

shymexx:

What are you on about? - and is there anything bad in trying to have a discourse with people?

i dont support bashing all women simply because you have issues with your mother.

the first recorded racial mixing started in genesis 6:2.

tpia1:

i dont support bashing all women simply because you have issues with your mother.

Why bring my mum into this? If I start going nuts and cursing you out, everyone is going to start whining about how abusive shymmex is...

Where did I bash black women in my post?

tpia1: the first recorded racial mixing started in genesis 6:2.

Don't quote the bible when we're having an intellectual discourse - this isn't about faith and allegories, it's about FACTS with archaeological evidence...

your thread is disrespectful to black women.

topics such as these are not your concern, since you do not represent black men in any way.

let women discuss issues relating to women, end of.

or are you planning to become a woman?

shymexx:

Don't quote the bible when we're having an intellectual discourse - this isn't about faith and allegories, it's about FACTS with archaeological evidence...

post a link to the facts and archaeological evidence of arabs being the products of intermixing.

the problem is black women are only attracted to black men

handsome men from Saudi Arabia, peurto rico, white men, indian men ask me out
but the problem i cant see myself loving them

there is no physical attraction

Sybellah:

I think many do, but fear to express it
Also in the US, when black women date white, black men get angry

Lmao.. I get pissed off sometimes when I see nice black chics with white guys lol...

However, I don't really think most of them are attracted to black women(I might be wrong)...

onila: the problem is black women are only attracted to black men

handsome men from Saudi Arabia, peurto rico, white men, indian men ask me out
but the problem i cant see myself loving them

there is no physical attraction

Yeah, most of the black chics I know are only attracted to black guys(mostly dark skinned guys)...

Only naija chics love light-skinned/mixed-race guys...

there is this indian man, my new housemate in my school apartment

always trying 2 flirt with me touching my hair, touching my nose and all that crap

sometimes I just wanna push the brown nigga away

curry dude, i wldnt even f0ck u, even if you are related to donald trump

shymexx:

Lmao.. I get pissed off sometimes when I see nice black chics with white guys lol...

However, I don't really think most of them are attracted to black women(I might be wrong)...

white guys on average stick with white women.

in addition, straight white guys are more likely to have other things going on in their lives besides just dreaming endlessly about s.ex and women's bodies. Meaning they're more driven to have achievements in other areas besides instant physical gratification. And, social standing/feedback matters a lot to them, more than their black counterparts.

until that changes, they dont mind being seen as disinterested in womanizing.

not saying there are no white guys who are just as s.ex addicted as black ones though.

onila: there is this indian man, my new housemate in my school apartment

always trying 2 flirt with me touching my hair, touching my nose and all that crap

sometimes I just wanna push the brown nigga away

curry dude, i wldnt even f0ck u, even if you are related to donald trump

i dont really buy into the concept of mixed student housing anyway.

i prefer the nigerian system of separate dorms for genders.

offtopic.

shymexx:

Yeah, most of the black chics I know are only attracted to black guys(mostly dark skinned guys)...

Only naija chics love light-skinned/mixed-race guys...

thats a lie, Nigerian girls are not into light skinned guys. .maybe handsome mixed race guys but NOT light skinned men

I like handsome dark skinned men. .when a nigga is dark and handsome. .his dark skin glows . .black women in general love dark skinned men but they are just scared of their female black kids being dark skinned because dark skinned black women are seen as less attractive

reggie bush

.

shymexx:

Lmao.. I get pissed off sometimes when I see nice black chics with white guys lol...

However, I don't really think most of them are attracted to black women(I might be wrong)...

they repress their feelings because they scared of what people will think, and they are intimidated also by black girls lool
i have a couple of white/asian friends and many confide that they would be scared to ask black chicks out becuz we look intimidating

have u dated out of yo race before?

tpia1:

i dont really buy into the concept of mixed student housing anyway.

i prefer the nigerian system of separate dorms for genders.

offtopic.

its a university apartment
most of the times its mixed

onila:
thats a lie, Nigerian girls are not into light skinned guys. .maybe handsome mixed race guys but NOT light skinned men

I like handsome dark skinned men. .when a nigga is dark and handsome. .his dark skin glows . .black women in general love dark skinned men but they are just scared of their female black kids being dark skinned because dark skinned black women are seen as less attractive

reggie bush

Don't lie... I know a FOB naija chic that fell in love with my boy in uni just because he was mixed race... My boy just used to beat it like she was anything lol...

And you need to see how naija chics flock around my mixed race cousin...

onila:

its a university apartment
most of the times its mixed

^i know, just seems unnecessary to mix undergraduate student housing, but i guess it might be considered discrimination not to do so, in a bind.

shymexx:

Don't lie... I know a FOB naija chic that fell in love with my boy in uni just because he was mixed race... My boy just used to beat it like she was anything lol...

And you need to see how naija chics flock around my mixed race cousin...

true, many of the light skin, green eyed guys do not want for girlfriends.

Black women need to get with whomever want them. There are plenty of non-black men that wants to be with black women as a whole.

You see what you have to choose from black women...better think wisely.

true that.

i dont like the whining.