I just want peace irrespective of whether one or both stay!

jidegirl12:

That's not true Jo , it even has a special name they call it

lol, nothing to ague about, it's the wife's mother in igbo culture

Wife's mother:
She (wife) can only be freer that way; all those pressing and touching and mopping and bathing and...
It's real mama's work except she 'don tra'.

its cultural for d woman's mum to stay for 3 months. Or more if need be.

It depends on Me, Myself and I. I m sure my mum wont have time to babysit, so my mother in law is ok with me for @ most 3months if she‘s got time too.
If not, i employ one old woman who specializes in such or don‘t they exist?

I'm not Igbo and its just from my observation , the MIL came to stay over, of course I believe you,now I know.....

Joanna Sedley: it has always been the wife's mother not the husband's mother in the igbo culture.

. Anybody can come but its d wife's mother that stays 4 long nd it also depend on d arrangement bw d husband nd wife

It shld be who d wife is more comfortable with and d one that has d time.
Personally I wud prefer my mum cos I can ask her to do anything for me and she will do it without even blinking but ur mother inlaw might read a different meaning to ur request. Also u can prevail on ur mum abt not doing some stuffs which u r not comfortable with but with ur Mil she will enforce it o .

jidegirl12: Ideally it's the husband's mom but if the wife's mom wants to join the party too, why not? The more the merrier ......

Ideally who made that rule and on what planet
My own mama dey life, na my husband mama go kon get full access to my most private possessions because I just born. If I hear!
Have you considered the cat and mouse nature of most Nigerian wives and Mothers-in-law relationships?

in hausa culture, it always the wife's mother-in-law. since the wife moves to the husband house, she is automatically under the care of the husband relative. if wife's mother should comes, it gives the impression that the husband family cant take care of the wife. the wife's mother can come but main responsublity is on the husband's mother or sisters.

its more of a cultural thing on who stays.

Who go dey press press her yansh for her inside bathroom,of cause it should be her Mum. Abeg save my sweetest Mama from all those yeesh aaash ooooOh screeming

When my wife had our daughter in february, both inlaws came to stay with us, in about a month I noticed both my mom and my wife's mom behaving like two cats in the house, then I had to excuse my mother to leave so that my wife's mother can stay. Reasons being that if my mother stays, she may try to run how my wife lives in the house and i would not have my wife disrespect her, but my wife's mother can relate with my wife anyhow, its not much of a concern to me except that when I am at home my food should be ready and I should have my private moments with my wife. Shikena!

Ideally The Wife's mum should stay. Because she'll get the necessary support for the kid and be able to be herself. She can easily ask her mother to help her wash this or that but that may be difficult to ask your husbands mum... That is why I think the wife's mum should stay.

Joanna Sedley: Some culture requires the wife's mother to come while some prefer the husband's mother. To each his own. I'd like my mother to come and assist me.

I agree with u but I think it depends on d couple, during my own time we agreed dat my mother in-law sld come for 3month and wen I had d 2nd my mother came just dat she stayed for 5month cos I enjoyed her better n I didn't even want her 2go.

Ideally couple sld make plans n work it out. If d wife feels more comfortable with her mom den let her come.

None, they'er both late.

For those that says in IGBO land its usually d husbands mum that gets to stay,I ask do u realy know d igbo culture? Bcus wat I know in our IGBO land is that d wifes mum get to stay nd its called "OMUGWO"

Well, the wife is mostly likely to wish that the husband's mother was dead anyway. The husband's mother comes to see her newly born grandchild; not the wife. She couldn't care less if the wife dies during childbirth as long as her grandchild surives. The wife's mother cares about both the wife and her newlyborn grandchild. Therefore, the wife's mother has to stay.

D 2 of dem can stay together,daz if dey behave maturely... And if nt d 2 can alwayz com 4 visitation.... Tis my house,and i'll neva tolerate any form of quarell btw dem both...

We can go visit them wen we lik,bur if dey r of gud conduct no WAHALA ...

My mother-in-law n my mother are BEST OF FRIEND ... So no shaking 4 my side

Julesbloom: wow didnt read the replies of others @jidegirl

Nope I'm busy here

Joanna Sedley: Some culture requires the wife's mother to come while some prefer the husband's mother. To each his own. I'd like my mother to come and assist me.

em...if ngozi iweala is ur mother will she come and babysit?

Ujujoan:

Lol . . see you talking with authority on what you don't know about!

It's the other way round o . . . Take it from an Igbo Lady who has actually experienced it!

Lol Uju honestly from what I've seen it was the groom's mom .... now I know

Realtym:
Ideally who made that rule and on what planet
My own mama dey life, na my husband mama go kon get full access to my most private possessions because I just born. If I hear!
Have you considered the cat and mouse nature of most Nigerian wives and Mothers-in-law relationships?

hmmm I know ur type o possesive,obsessive and jealous,have u forgotten that the private possesion u cherished and ur husband belongs to ur mother in law,can u marry the guy if the mother had been possesive and jealous like u,I fear for ur husband o.

Husband's Mother

Both are welcome. But my mother-in-law's spell will be brief.
I don't fancy her hanging around for long, feeling too comfortable in my crib thereby increasing her chances of instigating her daughter against me in any possible manner.

My mother of course!

But of course, she doesn't have to come and stay with us. My wife and the baby can relocate to her place.

It is d wife mother coz it wl handle her daughta vry wel

Zeus I: Igbo tradition demands that the bride's mother(mother-in-law) should be attending, only in her absense(e.g demise or an elderly daughter's birth) would the groom's mother come.

You are on point! The concept of baby sitting/ omugwo in Ibo land is that the mum of a woman who newly delivered a baby shud come and take care of her daughter. It involves cooking local delicacies for her, bathing her grand child and attending to her daughter such as massaging her tummy to get it to pre pregnancy shape! How does the husband's mum cope with this demands, wouldn't she find these chores demeaning to render to a little girl ? Its few mother in laws that would put up with this and to avoid wahala, let the lady's mum come and take care of her daughter, that is the idea behind this tradition.

Wife delivered both kids abroad, in my home country. When the first child was born, her mother was there. My mom is nice and helpful, but the point is, no one knows the new mother, her needs and habits like her own mother. Sadly, second child was born around a year after my mother in-law's death. If she was still alive, she would be by my wife's side again.

I have always known it traditionally to be the new mother's mum who stays to help. Logic even dictates that the new mother's mum will best be able to anticipate the needs of her daughter. As for time duration I think 2 months max is allowable, I mean she must have her own husband and home to look after to me.

I would prefer the wifes mother to come instead of my own mother

None, we will do it ourselves.

i wouldn't want to hassle anyone with that responsibility. We both did the 'deed' afterall.
Mama should be enjoying her life and rest.

The wife's mom is usually the first choice,no written law or culture to that effect.Just a norm.