It's not only Lagos life o.... even in Europe and North America .

I got up at 3am today cos baby's teething and I gave her gripe water and backed her to warm her up..... I fed her black amala and bean soup with ewedu last night so she can sleep longer but nah.

I'm exhausted and already at work since 7am....

nanny is home watching her with cameras all over her head incase she tries any slight monkey business and I'm watching her live here.

blank: Abeg, you guys are being too alarmist jor. Spoiling a lovely thread.
My 2/3month old baby likes waking up in the night, usually around 2 for me to carry him on my chest for the rest of the night. Since i have to be up by 4am, i deviced a means to quickly change hs position from my chest to a pillow so we can both get good night rest. No wahala.

I give my toddler eba and soup in the night so that he would sleep very well and not wake me up in the night. I hand him over to his nanny to get him to sleep cos sleep time for him is drama time. I feel guilty but i need the rest. Waking 4am and sleeping by 11pm is so frustrating but that is Lagos life.

Placing a baby on a pillow to sleep is different from tying the baby to a pillow. More like the pillow backing the baby. I see it as child abuse.

blank: Abeg, you guys are being too alarmist jor. Spoiling a lovely thread.
My 2/3month old baby likes waking up in the night, usually around 2 for me to carry him on my chest for the rest of the night. Since i have to be up by 4am, i deviced a means to quickly change hs position from my chest to a pillow so we can both get good night rest. No wahala.

I give my toddler eba and soup in the night so that he would sleep very well and not wake me up in the night. I hand him over to his nanny to get him to sleep cos sleep time for him is drama time. I feel guilty but i need the rest. Waking 4am and sleeping by 11pm is so frustrating but that is Lagos life.

Na wah oh, you dey try oh. Me I wake up by 6.00am or 5.30 on a good day . . . and yet it's stressful. And I have just one kid!

Do you work in a bank in Lagos . . . I'm asking cos I'm trying to understand why you stress yourself so much.

Ujujoan:

Na wah oh, you dey try oh. Me I wake up by 6.00am or 5.30 on a good day . . . and yet it's stressful. And I have just one kid!

Do you work in a bank in Lagos . . . I'm asking cos I'm trying to understand why you stress yourself so much.

I work with a "multi-national" on the mainland while i live on the island after Ajah. E no easy at all. I wake up by 4am so i can express milk and then get ready. Leave the house by 5am. Any later and i will be stuck in Ajah traffic and get to work late. I get to my husband's office by 6am and sleep in the car till 7am. Then i go to work. Its stressful but God will help me. Returning is even worse.

It has made me take a lot of "cheeky shortcuts". If i begin to mention, all the "i don't compromise on my kids, you must be a bad mother" will be out in full force.

jidegirl12: It's not only Lagos life o.... even in Europe and North America .

I got up at 3am today cos baby's teething and I gave her gripe water and backed her to warm her up..... I fed her black amala and bean soup with ewedu last night so she can sleep longer but nah.

I'm exhausted and already at work since 7am....

nanny is home watching her with cameras all over her head incase she tries any slight monkey business and I'm watching her live here.

This is why I didn't do in house nanny much
I only had a live in nanny from an agency for my last born for the first 6 months and we came in at odd times when she didn't expect us to catch her sleeping down in her room in the basement while baby was up in the living room alone so we let her go.
I am not comfortable placing cameras to watch a worker in my home
I find it intrusive
If I have to watch you on camera then perhaps you should not be in my home let alone watch my child
I prefer day care centers.
Well run,open and clean day care centers where you can drop in anytime to see or pick up
The one I used,has camers in all the rooms and kids are placed according to ages and as they grow they move rooms so the kids are socializing with children of same age
some parents come and sit at the lobby and watch the monitors a while before going in
Moreover all the rooms have large windows from top to bottom, you can see everything from the outside.
I will show up at noon to pick up on half days
Take them on my day off pick up at 3
They never know when the parent will come and I was not disappointed
My last one still attends his after school activities there
The down side is the viral infections that spread though but it is building up immunity

The greatest risk I took with the kids
My babysitter was out and I had to go to my ogwu Aja shait packing job in this America ,this was way back
I didn't know what to do
Someone then gave me the number of her church woman,a Haitian lady to watch them for the 2 days
I arrived with my 2 little kids 4 and 2 in this run down scary looking apartment building
I knocked on the door and this 500 pound woman who could hardly talk and breathe at the same time answered the door
Chei
I looked into the house,there were 3 other kids
Looked on the stove,a frying pan was on the fire
The combination of a hefty woman frying pan and kids,come and see panic
Fear caught me well well but I had a job to keep
I prayed and kissed them good bye
I prayed all day long,I was so worried about an accident happening
I may have called 10 times throughout the day
As soon as wrk was over I picked them up and never went there again.
I don't even remember the cock and bull story I told the job to get off work the next day...God forgive me

Babyosisi o! Lol intrusive in my own home? What about in schools too? I can do whatever I want in my own home .... the nanny is from a bond-able agency and I mostly use them only when the kids are down with flu and I have to work , otherwise they all go to schools/ daycare .

or else I only use them on weekends and when I need to have night out with hubby .....

or alone time with any kid ( cos we do alone time with each kid like movies so you can have mommy/ daddy daughter talk without other kids involved)

blank:

I work with a "multi-national" on the mainland while i live on the island after Ajah. E no easy at all. I wake up by 4am so i can express milk and then get ready. Leave the house by 5am. Any later and i will be stuck in Ajah traffic and get to work late. I get to my husband's office by 6am and sleep in the car till 7am. Then i go to work. Its stressful but God will help me. Returning is even worse.

It has made me take a lot of "cheeky shortcuts". If i begin to mention, all the "i don't compromise on my kids, you must be a bad mother" will be out in full force.

I live in lekki as well and i KNOW how that traffic is BUT!! I still can't compromise on my children's health no matter how early I have to get up or how tired I may be later at night! Being a mum is full time job no shortcuts and no off days. God help us.

jidegirl12: Babyosisi o! Lol intrusive in my own home? What about in schools too? I can do whatever I want in my own home .... the nanny is from a bond-able agency and I mostly use them only when the kids are down with flu and I have to work , otherwise they all go to schools/ daycare .

or else I only use them on weekends and when I need to have night out with hubby .....

or alone time with any kid ( cos we do alone time with each kid like movies so you can have mommy/ daddy daughter talk without other kids involved)

I did not fault you,I just spoke for myself
I wouldn't work in a home with cameras and would not put cameras in my home to watch people
Do your nannies know you have cameras,in the USA i believe some states mandate that you tell them so
Just like recording phone calls,it is against the law in some states if you don't inform the person they are being recorded.

Just because the place of employment changes doesnt mean the business does.

I have a medically fragile child and I employed private duty nurses. One particular company that I went through wanted documents signed stating I would not record the nurses in my home. Yeah right! My kids health is at risk. I would expect daycares to have cameras and my home is no different. My child cant go to daycare because of risk of infection to him, and his siblings cannot go because of risk of them infecting him. To each their own I guess.

I cant think of any other shortcuts that I have used that havent already been listed.

babyosisi:

I did not fault you,I just spoke for myself
I wouldn't work in a home with cameras and would not put cameras in my home to watch people
Do your nannies know you have cameras,in the USA i believe some states mandate that you tell them so
Just like recording phone calls,it is against the law in some states if you don't inform the person they are being recorded.

There are cameras in the malls, public transit systems, taxi cabs, school hallways, pizza place, restaurants, streets, hospital hallways , even some public washrooms are starting to instal cameras now...... Doesn't that ring a bell?

just cause somebody has a clear criminal record & child abuse check doesn't mean they are clean

#Justsaying #

jidegirl12:

There are cameras in the malls, public transit systems, taxi cabs, school hallways, pizza place, restaurants, streets, hospital hallways , even some public washrooms are starting to instal cameras now...... Doesn't that ring a bell?

just cause somebody has a clear criminal record & child abuse check doesn't mean they are clean

#Justsaying #

You said malls and public washrooms
Your house is neither a mall nor a public washroom
There is nothing wrong in you having cameras in a home but regular guests in your home should know.
I asked if the care giver in your home knows they are being watched
I believe they ought to know
If I were her I would want to know that there could be a man or woman somewhere watching me reach in to adjust my bra and pack my bo.obs,scratch my self and that they could see my underwear when I sit carelessly in their home thinking I am all alone with a tiny baby.
Put yourself in her shoes,wouldn't you want to know?

babyosisi:

You said malls and public washrooms
Your Ouse is neither a mall nor a public washroom
I asked if the care giver in your home knows they are being watched
I believe they ought to know
If I were her I would want to know that there could be a man or woman somewhere watching me reach in to adjust my bra ,scratch my self and see my underwear when I sit carelessly in their home thinking I am all alone with a tiny baby.

That's when professionalism comes in ; I don't want no nanny sit carelessly and scratching and adjusting bra everytime in my home ..... You wouldn't do that if you work in a daycare setting would ya? That's a real job and not a leisure time.

That's why I hire from agencies so they'll meet my expectations..... and of-course the agency is aware of the cameras.

Can I Legally Install a Nanny-Cam in My Home?

It is currently legal in every state to make a video-only recording of anything happening at your home, at any time, without informing anyone. The fact that the camera is hidden has no effect on this concept. If your camera is video only (no sound is recorded), then you can do whatever you like with it, in your own home (but becareful about accidentally recording things beyond that, like the street in front of your yard).


What About Work Place Privacy Laws?

Those generally are only applied to businesses. If you are working out of someone's home, you have little legal recourse to being videotaped without your knowledge. However, this is obviously a very modern issue, so just because there are no current rulings regarding it does not mean there won't ever be. If you think you have been filmed illicitly, or that a video portrayed you inaccurately and you were charged with a crime (because these hidden cameras usually only transmit 5 frames per second, they can often make movements seem more violent then they are), you should contact a good criminal defense attorney who can help you protect yourself from false claims as well as discuss the possible liability of your employer.

SOURCE

Jidegirl, as long as there is no sound recording. . .you are good.

Sisi_Kill:

Jidegirl, as long as there is no sound recording. . .you are good.

If I see a nanny knelt down to my kids level and talked for over 5mins ..... I need to know what she's talking about.....so I can work on it..... therefor sisi I do have a sound check option in the software ....my kids are my life

jidegirl12:

That's when professionalism comes in ; I don't want no nanny sit carelessly and scratching and adjusting bra everytime in my home ..... You wouldn't do that if you work in a daycare setting would ya? That's a real job and not a leisure time.

That's why I hire from agencies so they'll meet my expectations..... and of-course the agency is aware of the cameras.

That part got me laughing
Some people wear cheap bras you know
Hehehehehehe
Anyway the agency knows you record so the nanny probably knows too,so my question has been answered

jidegirl12:

If I see a nanny knelt down to my kids level and talked for over 5mins ..... I need to know what she's talking about.....so I can work on it..... therefor sisi I do have a sound check option in the software ....my kids are my life

OMG
How do you manage when they are away in school or camp?
Hopefully you don't live in the states where sound recording is illegal or you may have one rich nanny smiling to the bank when you question the wrong one

Audio recordings are a different story. While some states have no special laws regarding these either, it is illegal to record someone's voice without their permission in California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Oregon, Pennsylvania and Washington State

babyosisi:

That part got me laughing
Some people wear cheap bras you know
Hehehehehehe
Anyway the agency knows you record so the nanny probably knows too,so my question has been answered

Do you actually know that syndrome ( adjusting bra everytime) is a behavioural disability? Kinda OCD thingy?

# justsaying#

jidegirl12:

If I see a nanny knelt down to my kids level and talked for over 5mins ..... I need to know what she's talking about.....so I can work on it..... therefor sisi I do have a sound check option in the software ....my kids are my life

Absolutely! Agree with you!!

I was countering what I thought was an objection to you having a nanny cam from a legal stand point. You do not need to inform anyone that you have one. It is your house and you can do whatever you want to do.

jidegirl12:

Do you actually know that syndrome ( adjusting bra everytime) is a behavioural disability? Kinda OCD thingy?

# justsaying#

Nah
It is more like cheap bra syndrome

babyosisi:

Nah
It is more like cheap bra syndrome

That's very funny

Back to topic sha


A friend of mine said she carried out an experiment with her young ones to see if her kids would go with a stranger
She took them to a park and had another friend the kids didn't know meet them down on the slide and offered to take them to her car for a candy
I never tried it but I believe it is worth trying to see if they would go
Most times kids are hurt by people they know and trust anyway
Many child molesters etc are people from within,sadly

Another good tip I got from a good friend many years ago which I believe every woman would know.

What do you teach your children to do when they are lost in a mall,amusement park or public place ?
Those moments do happen and boy,are they terrifying times.
a kid can get lost in a split second and fall into the wrong hands
Well this is what my friend told me and that is what I taught
I tell them to look for a mommy with kids
I don't wanna sound sexist but a woman with kids is more likely to be patient, to help a lost child get to the right authorities,more likely to calm a scared child and less likely to harm that child.


For the young mothers,have you tried putting apple sauce in your child's baby cereal?
Get the big jar in the grocery store not the little baby ones.
I used it daily in those days generously,another mother advised me to
It is a great way to have the child eat his meal and get his fruits all in one,it helps prevent constipation too plus it sweetens the food .
You can use it for oatmeal too without adding sugar.All my children loved it.

Another good tip I got from a good friend many years ago which I believe every woman would know.

What do you teach your children to do when they are lost in a mall,amusement park or public place ?
Those moments do happen and boy,are they terrifying times.
a kid can get lost in a split second and fall into the wrong hands
Well this is what my friend told me and that is what I taught]I tell them to look for a mommy with kids
I don't wanna sound sexist but a woman with kids is more likely to be patient, to help a lost child get to the right authorities,more likely to calm a scared child and less likely to harm that child.
[/b]
Chick, may God bless you for the above tip. My boy is still yound enough not to wander off but yes that danger is very real and what you just said there resonated with me. Definitely going to be using that. On the other hand though, I recently got a new job(yay!) and was told to start on monday(boooooo, it's the week before christmas) and I'm bricking it literally. I worked from home before so it's the first time i'll beleaving my squish for a whole day. Any tips on how to cope would be much appreciated. I feel sorry for hubby because he is recieving the full brunt of my anxiety.

Chick, may God bless you for the above tip. My boy is still yound enough not to wander off but yes that danger is very real and what you just said there resonated with me. Definitely going to be using that. On the other hand though, I recently got a new job(yay!) and was told to start on monday(boooooo, it's the week before christmas) and I'm bricking it literally. I worked from home before so it's the first time i'll beleaving my squish for a whole day. Any tips on how to cope would be much appreciated. I feel sorry for hubby because he is recieving the full brunt of my anxiety. [/quote]

Aww i can so feel u remeber when i went back to work with my daughter i was a wreak.The first week i was practically useless at work.Your baby will be fine and the best thing is to make sure you at least trust whoever you r leaving him with is someone you trust say at least 80%.It helps to know your child is in good hands.Also take a picture and put on your desk.Also say to yourself mummy is working to give my child the good things of life that makes you feel there is a purpose for going in to work.Lastly when you r together enjoy it.Remember its the quality of time spent kids remember and not the quantity.

damiso:
Chick, may God bless you for the above tip. My boy is still yound enough not to wander off but yes that danger is very real and what you just said there resonated with me. Definitely going to be using that. On the other hand though, I recently got a new job(yay!) and was told to start on monday(boooooo, it's the week before christmas) and I'm bricking it literally. I worked from home before so it's the first time i'll beleaving my squish for a whole day. Any tips on how to cope would be much appreciated. I feel sorry for hubby because he is recieving the full brunt of my anxiety.

Aww i can so feel u remeber when i went back to work with my daughter i was a wreak.The first week i was practically useless at work.Your baby will be fine and the best thing is to make sure you at least trust whoever you r leaving him with is someone you trust say at least 80%.It helps to know your child is in good hands.Also take a picture and put on your desk.Also say to yourself mummy is working to give my child the good things of life that makes you feel there is a purpose for going in to work.Lastly when you r together enjoy it.Remember its the quality of time spent kids remember and not the quantity.

Thank you hun, I'll bear that in mind. It's really helpful to hear from those who've done it before. If you coped beautifully, then with your experience and help from God, So will my baby and I. Thank you.

shaybe baby:
Chick, may God bless you for the above tip. My boy is still yound enough not to wander off but yes that danger is very real and what you just said there resonated with me. Definitely going to be using that. On the other hand though, I recently got a new job(yay!) and was told to start on monday(boooooo, it's the week before christmas) and I'm bricking it literally. I worked from home before so it's the first time i'll beleaving my squish for a whole day. Any tips on how to cope would be much appreciated. I feel sorry for hubby because he is recieving the full brunt of my anxiety.

Don't you worry about it,as long as you did your homework well regarding child care,you should relax and not stress out
It is not easy but after a few weeks you and the little one will adjust to the new routine.
I advise you to do what I did with the care provider,whether in your home or at a center,drop in suddenly on them to pick up.
That gives you an idea who exactly is watching your child and the condition of the place when they don't expect you.
If they know you come at 5 PM,show up one day at 1 pm for an early pick up.
If in your home,return when the caregiver least expects you.
Initially the child may cry a ton,it is heartbreaking to drop off a child and see them crying and reaching for you and you have to leave.That image will be stuck in your head as a mother.
It is well
They will eventually adjust.

Ladies, I'm dreading it too. My little man will be starting nursery next month when I go back to work. It's the crying that'll be worse and not being there to pick him up as I have to work till 7pm but the nursery should be prepared for my calls. How have people coped?


From an anxious first time mother.

I know it's not easy but the caregivers don't like when parents lurk around the centre especially when the baby's crying a lot upon your departure...... Just close your eyes and leave after a goodbye kiss.... awww

Debsolat: Ladies, I'm dreading it too. My little man will be starting nursery next month when I go back to work. It's the crying that'll be worse and not being there to pick him up as I have to work till 7pm but the nursery should be prepared for my calls. How have people coped?


From an anxious first time mother.

As babyosisi said, I guess we just have to make sure we are atleast comfy with who we will be leaving them with. I'm feeling the same anxiety but I keep telling myself it will be fine. It has to be. I was anxious as well when I brought him home from the hospital but I found my feet with time. Change is never really easy especially if we don't like the change. I have heard stories of women who died in child birth(thank God that is not our portion) and it's heart breaking that those kids will never know their mums. Atleast our kids have us, not all the time but we are able to be there when they need us. That is what i keep telling myself, our glass is half full not half empty. We be fine hun by God's grace.

shaybe baby:
As babyosisi said, I guess we just have to make sure we are atleast comfy with who we will be leaving them with. I'm feeling the same anxiety but I keep telling myself it will be fine. It has to be. I was anxious as well when I brought him home from the hospital but I found my feet with time. Change is never really easy especially if we don't like the change. I have heard stories of women who died in child birth(thank God that is not our portion) and it's heart breaking that those kids will never know their mums. Atleast our kids have us, not all the time but we are able to be there when they need us. That is what i keep telling myself, our glass is half full not half empty. We be fine hun by God's grace.

Thanks Shaybe baby. I know he'll be fine. Hubby and I went to 11 nurseries before narrowing it down to 2. It's alarming the horrible things you hear and see. And ican't sit at home claiming benefits, so will be going back 30hrs a week. God will keep watch over them.

Debsolat:

Thanks Shaybe baby. I know he'll be fine. Hubby and I went to 11 nurseries before narrowing it down to 2. It's alarming the horrible things you hear and see. And ican't sit at home claiming benefits, so will be going back 30hrs a week. God will keep watch over them.

You are doing the right thing going back to work,don't feel guilty
It is good for you to work and have your own income
It good for the family that you work and help your hubby provide
There are horror stories with some day care ,yes,it will not be your portion
24-30 hrs is just ideal for a young mother of babies where possible