The first thing that I (not me) discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday  or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched
Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline)speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class.  Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.

There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use. These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton(the lady soon to marry Prince William) drives?
VW Golf or something close to it.  But there's one core difference between them and us(generally speaking). They (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, we steal ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seem to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now.  That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria. At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job (could be in another city from the parents) and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults. I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out.  I am a UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria.  I have a broad range of experience from recruiting new graduates to executive director level of large corporations.  In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively privileged upbringing. Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months every summer, before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London - indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!

For me,
pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's. Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret underwear and  wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving" parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So where exactly is this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum? I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and I, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe  dressed to the nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your salary to shame.  It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER worked a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing. I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum. Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s.  Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You are practically loving your children to death! No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up  to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, may be even consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are today? NO TREE GROWS WELL UNDER ANOTHER TREE, children that are not exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this Christmas", ask him/her how old - 30+. Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are where and what we are today, this syndrome - my children will not suffer what I suffered - is destroying our tomorrow. Deliberately reduce their allowance.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go, what a life. No one wants to marry them. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. - Henry Ford.
Hard work does not kill, everything in Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retire, will you fly a plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria? People now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE. This has nothing to do with Goodluck or Buhari and unfortunately we cannot blame the political class this time but ourselves. Which Way Nigeria!, Which Way Nigerians!!
Is this how we will ALL sit and watch this country SINK in our hands?

Have a beautiful day

---

I came across this article and felt like sharing it. The question is: Are rich Nigerian parents over-pampering their children?

Mr Cork <<<<<< Son of a Multi - Millionaire

GOD BLESS whosoever wrote this article!!!! x 1 million times.

i dont think i have ever seen much more sense in a post on nairaland in years even if its copy and paste.


believe it or not, these children are the same ones who will be fast-tracked into the top most positions in society and politics by the parents.

or what else do you think accounted for people like Dimeji Bankole?


truly, the elite class in nigeria is a complete total failure. of course, in a society that elevates wealth and avarice, it wont be viewed as such.
but common sense shouts it loud, the elite, ruling class HAS FAILED!.

gone are the days when truly great men and families beget worthy scions and descendants.

I don't buy this idea of this News.
www.geomelgroup..com

OP I feel your pains and I'm an advocate for what you fear for. I keep telling my wyf my children would go to public shools in Nigeria and have home tutors for them in the evenings for not mo than 1 hour, of course after so many hours of play. The same kind of education I received and am able to face the world and fight on my own without support from anyone but my certificates and God Almighty.

We usually feel we are doing the best for the kids by giving them all those privileges, only to find out that we have actually done them a lot of disservice and given them a disadvantage among their peers when they meet.

Its really pathetic, I wish everyone of us would wake up to this consciousness and realize that we are killing our world by ourselves. We are actually depreciating everything consciously without actually looking at the end results but the immediate benefits we stand to gain at the mo which in itself is self-serving and very cosmetic as well as inconsequential. I wish we could all change now to salvage the situation. God! please, hear my plea.

I think the primary problem is that the environment in Nigeria does not promote such independence.

For example, how would a typical Nigerian child at 18 pay school fees of N400,000 in a university? From where? What kind of work can he find in Nigeria for such?

In Sweden, education for EU citizens is free. I have never lived in the UK, but I am aware that the school fees they pay are about a third of what foreign students pay. There are lots of holiday jobs that can be done in Western societies. There is social security. There are basics. There is electricity for a creative person to buy a laptop and start a computer based business as simple as graphic designs. People do not have to worry about water.

If things are too bad, there are homeless shelters. Creativity is encouraged to thrive. If you have a business idea at 18, you can approach a financial institution to bank roll it without it costing you an arm and a leg. If the 18 year old decides to go into music, he has copyright protection.

Here, if you have no parents to cushion you, the harshness of the Nigerian society will crush that individual.

In our society, just about the only way an 18 year old can survive and still live a normal life is to take to some sort of crime. If that person decides to go straight, he may still make it, but a part of him will die; lost to hardship, struggle, etc.

As for pampering of kids, I do not totally agree with you. I have many friends who came from rich homes who were even strangulated financially by their parents; no pampering anywhere.

You will be surprised; the same Richard Branson you are mentioning will spend 10 million pounds on his daughter's society wedding to keep his rep on E! Channel and all the Hollywood gossip tabloids in check.

So do not generalize my brother.

A great article.

That is how it is here,

everybody wants to show off,

no body wants to work for money,

Just check out Warren Buffet,

he's so simple

hmmmmm

for somebody praying that God should help nigeria, you better pray harder and harder because even if you pray, it will be very difficult for the people who steal the country's money to change.  

Agree with the topic. However, we need to understand Nigerian society is sinking in the values of old. If you talk to a 60 yr old British who came across Nigerians in the 60s and 70s, they will tell you we're the best. However, we threw away our hardworking ethics and chased shadows. Everyone wants to earnmillion as starting salary. Until we go back to the values of hardwork, we wont be recognised worldwide.
As for those pikins of millionaires, well, its a matter of time. Igbeyin ni dun oloku ada.
Having said all that, I think its harder to break into Nigerian earner's club as a 19 year old. Except you dont mind really getting down. I once asked a younger friend of mine to go into selling call cards. He didnt like it at all and all he wanted was for me to give him 10k. I promised to lend him enough money to start a phone card business, but he wasnt patient on that. Our society celebrates quickies. We want to travel abroad today and come back with hummer tomorow. We want to start work today and drive tomorow. Until the society goes back to the work ethics our fathers made a name with, we will continue to breed brats who cannot stand on their feet.

The OP sef is one of those "overpampered" ones, living rent-free in his parents "UK home" till age 25. What would those of us who've been paying rent since age 17 say if this one is complaining?

U all like to compare two entirely different worlds!

The economy has been hard on many, i remember things going slow for my family growing up, a time, my dad borrowed our saved up pocket money to take bus to work!!! Those times were scary. I thank God today am a Doctor, although, not rich enough to drive my own car yet, but still, at least i can earn a living and help my parents out, now and then, so many things i've seen, and i know many people are suffering in this country, its just that Nigerians are ignorant, timid and largely conservative, if not, this country should be upside down, with what the poster says, i saw a little when i was in school, struggling to buy my books, pocket money wahala, etc, I eventually got a scholarship, and so did one of my brothers, when i graduated, i had to go begging to get space for internship!!!, but i said to myself, ''NO''. I didnt steal my degree, why did i have to find a way of being acquainted to the CMD to get a job, although i eventually got a job somewhere good, at half the salary i'd have earned working as an Intern, probably would have bought a Car, but it felt good, being Independent and nobody breathing down my Neck,m that they were responsible for my success!!!
30, being the new 18 is quite true, but the Nigerian educational system is responsible for that, I had to struggle after leaving school at 17, even that was a bit late, had some parenting issues, before getting to the University at 21 for medicine, but we thank God, the Struggle continues!!!

OP- nice article but doesnt apply to Nigeria.
it can onli apply to a structured economy, of which nigeria isnt at the moment, do u tink its everychild wish to loaf around, be dependent on his/her parents. do u hav an idea of the number of ppl that wrote jamb and the limited available spaces in the universities? do you hav an idea of the number of graduands from universities/polytechnic and the limited employment opportunities- abeg leave stori for tortoise.  

Have you asked yourself why we don't have companies that are atleast 80 years old in NIgeria?? Most enterprises die after their owners' demise!!!

Parenting (not in all instance) in Nigeria makes children to look out for what they can gain and not what they can give!!! Nobody makes it in life by taking and not giving.

I heard about a rich man that gave his children first class education and made sure that he left only start-up money for them. He didn't will any other property to them. The children are doing fine and one of them in particular is a multi-millionaire lawyer/businessman.

If we continue this way then I am very afraid for the next generation cause this method of parenting only produces consumers and not entrepreneur!!!

i agreet with you poster

Natasha,,:

STAGGER Immediately I finished I told my dad I wanted a job, since my jamb wasn't favourable although I made my WAEC. [b]My dad went searching and found one[i], I had already prepared for the interview and I was sure I would be the one to get the job, they were to pay #20,000 monthly. but It was cancelled because of the bad conduct of most people. . [/i][/b]

spoil brat go and suck breast sumwhere else., dnt u get that u r even collaborating the OP post- duh!!!
u hav no idea of the number of ppl walking the streets lookin for a 20k job, cos ur dad got u a job, u r feeling like u accomplished sumtin- abeg stop blabbing rubbish

Nice post, poster.

I would be a little weary about making comparisons with the western world though, as holiday or weekend jobs are not that available in Nigeria. With regards to “30 is the new 18”, ASUU strikes make people leave school a lot later.

All in all, an interesting read and should be directed at all Nigerians, to prevent spoilt brats like Abdulmutallab resurfacing.

@stagger what a response you provided! I could not have said it better. Even if the op is right in many of his assessment. I know many people from rich homes who work really hard to sustain their family wealth. Infact many people will argue that it is sometimes the children of the poor that usually sit and wait for manners to fall from heaven. Many are waiting for that one big break through without thinking of the little things they can do to help themselves. And when they do get big breaks they cannot handle it because they are not ready.

Having said that there are millions and millions of nigerians youths both from rich and poor background that have worked really hard to succeed in life irrespective of their parent status. I don't want to brag but I am currently attending school at the highest level and I can count how many times I got transport fare to go to school from my parents all through my education not to talk of school fees. But I am proud of my parents because they did the best they could under the circumstances. I have also had school mates along the way who wear one shirt throughout a semester and hustle to complete their education against all odds - there are many of them in nigeria. Lets not discount such efforts.

My only problem is with many nigerian university/poly students. There is this believe that once you are in school, you should not do anything else. This is the part i agree with the op. Studying engineering does not mean you cannot get a camera and make money from photography or get a video to record weddings. there are a million and one things you can do to earn money (maybe not big money) while studying. I rarely see that happen in our society. This is what I want to teach my children: I may be able to afford any level of education, but you must work on the side even. it doesnt matter whetter you are studying law or or engineering, you must think of something to do outside that to make some change. Its not about the money its about learning the ropes of life.  That is how comapnies like google were built.

Well im a little bit confused, the article is a good one no doubt but my question is if i go to sell pure water in traffic during holidays is it considered a holiday job or child abuse, by the way what is the difference between holiday job and child abuse, i no even understand at all,

Natasha,,:

No I'm not   my dad found that one I found the computer job  
and snthesis I know its because you are smoking that's why you typed all this, I didn't even get the job cos it was cancled or didn't you read   so what do you have to say about my classmates who also got their selves jobs? mada4king smoker  
there are so many people here who still get them selves holiday jobs and that's my point dumbass, If my dad didn't want me to get at job he wouldn't have supported me

and by the way how are you?  

smoking wat , hav u taken ur drugs dis morning, seems the wires hav started touching again.

let me understand you clearly, are u sayin that if i step out of my house for a week or two- i will get a job to sustain my schooling/house rent/feeding- and in otherwords all the millions of jobseekers out there, are actually lazy

i dey kampe

Hmmmmmm, Nice observation poster.

what is the poster is saying is 70% true.

that is that problem affecting our youth including myself cos i fought my way out my parent house at the age of 30, you are too young to stage alone, how will be paying your bills, you know you are not earning much. rent in Lagos is very high, where will get the money, after paying your rent wouldn't eat.

i made to understand that there are millions of people on the street without parent and they surviving, a graduate an engineer what else do need to do for me, you have given the best Education, let me go and strive for my self. i was made to sign an undertaken that if look Mal-nurtured in form i will return to the house and agreed. and today they are happy for letting me go.

a poster said where 18 yrs get 400k for school fee, must you go to private university, how much do they pay in F.G universities, i studied Engineering in 1 of the best F.G university my school fee (only) from 100L - 500L  is N51,000.

i have an uncle whose father is Major in the Army who left home when he was in 200L, d he did a lot business why in school and even after graduation and some failed but he owns a multi -million real estate/developer company now built another house for his father in lagos and their home town and bought cars him too.

although the economy is not favourable but the parent should NOT over pamper their children too

yes they all are, as far as am concerned in nigeria, if your dad has more than 50 million naira in the bank, u will be over pampered and become a thief, well i first came to USA, it was ONLY SUM nIGERia pikins, that was bragging about 1st na hin i enter, i just look them, n walked off completely, pampered bastards  
i have promised myself, after my law course, i will become a militant, just like osama bin laden, and wipe out the whole politician rates, i will start this when i get sponsorer, infact if yur too rich, u will be dead sef

OMG great post am kinda frantical about this lol

We celebrate money and mediocrity.

Parents know that. Why teach them hard work when they can push them with money?
Way to go folks. Naija we hail thee.

The current generation of 50 to 80 failed us woefully.
The under 50's led by Ibori/Lucky "Okada Air"/ Bank Ole have learned well from the masters.

I left home well under 20. Paid my way through uni abroad. Wasn't easy but possible. Thank God.

yes

am an example,

my parents fu-cked me up with excess and 2 much money.

M M M:

yes

am an example,

my parents fu-cked me up with excess and 2 much money.

Hmmm, I see,

omodapson:

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline)speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class.  Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling.

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these days.

This is what I have been gaddam saying: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-266268.0.html#msg3789552

omodapson:

Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum. Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our national malaise.

What da fck?

£800 per month?

No child can get this kind of amount from me every month.

Ko ti e possible. No matter the kind of juju the pikin and im mama dey use.