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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? (9298 Views)
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Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by ujukala: 12:08pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
He has answered your questions. Chynx: Sadly, yes!...misunderstanding is a function of a married life. Getting to manage your differences is what makes ur marriage a successful one. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by TableLeg(m): 12:09pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
Yes... Without one, it aint normal! |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 12:10pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
It doesn't have to be filled with quarrels and misunderstandings. No one says you will always agree, but when you dissent, you don't have to create dissension, quarrels or fights. Do it, God's way ... It'll definitely be quarrel-free. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by oviasouth: 12:10pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
inwangobio, sorry to bump into ur thread.pls dis is oviasouth from the trying to conceive thread. ve not seen ur post there for smtime dats y am sending it here, hoping u will get to c it. pls i want to make contact with you. ve tried sending u a private message but i dont knw wats happening. can u pls advise me with ur phone no. or email addy? thanks alot. inwangobio: Fight is a capital NO - NO, but misunderstanding -yea. It is a must but you must make sure it doesn't degenerate into something you can't handle. I can remember when we got married newly,i made a promise not to have any misunderstanding with my wife and for 8 good months we didnt 'have'. I almost ruined my marriage then, thank God today we are a nice couple because the misunderstandings came to make us better people to the glory of God. I don't live in that fantasy of 'no quarell or misunderstanding in marriage'. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by pretim(f): 12:20pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
hmmmmmmmm am learning ooo intresting tread |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by ypzilanti: 12:25pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
debrief08: Healthy disagreements is good oh. Healthy in the sense that there is no naame calling no screaming and attracting the neighbors, No tantrums, digging up passt hurts, using sensitive details your partner tells you in confidence to score cheap points. I like your very thoughtful write up. I do wonder about some of the issues you had with your husband, though. Did you not have the issues while dating, and how long did you date? I am planning to marry soon...I and my fiancee have dated for 3 years and I think me we pretty much have worked out a routine about how we behave and expectations as per keeping the other person updated on what you are up to. Also in terms of chores around the house and money. Anytime either of us deviates from the norm, the other partner serves a playful warning. It's working in the relationship...I believe it would work in the marriage too. We disagree all the time, but there is no name-calling or denigration. To the OPs question: There must be misunderstanding. haba. Have you ever agreed 100 percent with everything that even your parents have done? There has to be love to resolve misunderstandings, though. When you love nad respect someone, it is easier to shift ground on issues, or pardon and forgive where neccessary. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by disloman(m): 12:42pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
it makes u knw each other better. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by mrperfect(m): 12:54pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
This is discouraging. 1 Like |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Akosbaba(m): 1:22pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
slysinzu: Dis marriage of a tin self.must we marry?I wonder |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by vanstanzy(m): 1:27pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
We simply have to disagree, to finally agree. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by bknight: 1:31pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
...as with every other human relationships. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:35pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
[i][/i][quote author=hot n cold]I will probably be getting married in 4-5 years time,but what always bug my mind each time I give it a thought is: 1)Why should a couple who after 2-3 years of marriage,suddenly decides to call in a third party(I hate this part so much)? 2)Didn't they know each other well enough during dating/courting before heading to the alter? 3)Is it not possible to have a near perfect marriage? 4)What usually brings about this unnecessary fights/quarrels?Money?In Laws? Married people,these and many more thoughts are what, sometimes discourage in me planning to go into that institution called Marriage! Please your thoughts will be highly appreciated![/quote 1)Introducing a third party shows some level of immaturity among a couple.The third party settling your dispute could barely settle theirs.I have been married for almost 4yrs and at a pretty young age,but the issue of a third party has never been considered.We both know when to say "am sorry"for peace to reign. 2)You can't really know anyone well enough,until you share a roof with them. 3)It is very possible because am in an almost perfect marriage.What makes it so,is the fact that we have 100per communication and 0per secrecy.We hide nothing from each other,thus we had to eliminate any person in our FB/BBM/Phonebook that may pose as a trigger to any form of suspicion.We virtually operate a "NO contact with male fiends/female friends" policy.We work as a team and each others feeling is always in consideration.This can only work for a couple who is committed to building a perfect home or atleast,a near perfect home. 4)A lot of things can bring issues in marriage,ranging from peeing on the toilet seat to annoying in laws.Money will never be an issue if you marry an understanding person.Once you share with your spouse when the going was good,I don't see why they ll be a pain when you are broke.Every marriage must have a boundary.The intrusion of in laws must be put to check,because they can be an immense pressure on marriage.Couples should Learn to communicate each others feelings without being apprehensive.They should always present a united front before there kids.The couples should take turns in venting,not venting at the same time which might result in a fight.There must be a misunderstanding,but the ability to resolve it within 24hrs is what makes you perfect.Third party should only be involved in a life or death situation. Dating do not determine the success of a marriage cos I dated my hubby for barely four months.We try to preserve our youth by indulging in stuffs that we did while single.We dress,watch weight and look good to impress ourselves.we do not follow any outdated marriage rule nor care about people's perception of marriage.We send the kids to granny every once in a while So we could have time to really prance around and relish our youth.Marriage is the greatest gift God gave to mankind,that is,If two hearts can only learn to beat as one.Marriage goodoooooo!!!!!!! |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:50pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
I forget to mention that we ping instead of yelling at each other.Each person stays in a different part of the house and ping out the aggression.At the end of the day,the pings might eventually take a romantic turn or i might just walk up to my hubby laughing,Case closed.We communicate verbally when the initial tension of an issue is gone,thus,making it a" get to know you better"session once again.People should stick to what works for them though. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:50pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
I forgot to mention that we ping instead of yelling at each other.Each person stays in a different part of the house and ping out the aggression.At the end of the day,the pings might eventually take a romantic turn or i might just walk up to my hubby laughing,Case closed.We communicate verbally when the initial tension of an issue is gone,thus,making it a" get to know you better"session once again.People should stick to what works for them though. 1 Like |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:52pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
I forgot to mention that we ping instead of yelling at each other.Each person stays in a different part of the house and ping out the aggression.At the end of the day,the pings might eventually take a romantic turn or i might just walk up to my hubby laughing,Case closed.We communicate verbally when the initial tension of an issue is gone,thus,making it a" get to know you better"session once again.People should stick to what works for them though. @Debrief,you are on point. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by kalufelix(m): 3:31pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
*passes in disconcern* nat even in 5yrs time |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Theblessed(f): 4:22pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
[size=16pt]No, it shouldn't be!! However, certain misunderstanding should be expected but it mustn't lead to fights and kata kata![/size] |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by HighChief4(m): 6:00pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:17pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
Can't find my post,did it dissappear?hmmmmmm,nawaoooh. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:18pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
;DHave seen it!! |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by wonderapostle(m): 9:24pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
NO. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by DukeNija(m): 9:48pm On Dec 14, 2012 |
debrief08: Healthy disagreements is good oh. Healthy in the sense that there is no naame calling no screaming and attracting the neighbors, No tantrums, digging up passt hurts, using sensitive details your partner tells you in confidence to score cheap points. Madam Debrief I swear I think I and your husband are twins. My God! You just described me. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by Tinkybabe(f): 3:12am On Dec 15, 2012 |
There is an adage that goes thus,"If two friends enter a room for a talk and come out smiling,they haven't told each other the truth".The fact is that misunderstanding in marriage is inevitable.One should be wary of a relationship/marriage that a misunderstanding/argument doesn't ensue cause it means one party is not being true(probably pretending).No one person is perfect but the success of a marriage depends on how a/the misunderstanding is handled.was it resolved?does it degenerate into something worse?..maturity,understanding and love all play important roles in this case.That's why marriage is meant for matured individuals. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by simdam500(m): 4:52am On Dec 15, 2012 |
Y wont there be a misunderstandin I dey craze! |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by infonwose(m): 5:29am On Dec 15, 2012 |
dere is a saying dt wen 2 pple of d same family always come out smiling evrytime, dey re nt been truthful or telling demsef facts abt life 2 each other.d same applies in marriage, disagreement or watever u may cal it must come but aw u manage it is wat matters because both re 2 diff person entirely. I wil suggest geting books on temperament like my favourite"why u act d way u do" by ****** dis wil help u in knwing partner very well.... Cheer frds |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by yollychika(f): 6:19pm On Dec 22, 2012 |
Y dem dey hide some posts pls |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by tpia5: 9:19pm On Jan 02, 2014 |
Yes. As far as I know. |
Re: Must There Be A Fight/misunderstanding In A Marriage? by tpia5: 9:22pm On Jan 02, 2014 |
The spending so much on dna is a nice joke though. Lord have mercy. |
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