12/25/2012

Gregory’s iPhone Contract

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.

Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom

Seconded

Even me, sef fit do this, so its not a bad idea, atleast, it will help to caution

coming please

Haa, sweet mom . Most parents has lost there morals not to talk of passing such to there children. I hope parents & intending parents on this forum can learn from this piece.

Passing...

What an intelligent mom

I don't like number 5. After what happened in Connecticut, I've been pressurizing my dad to get my youngest sister a cell phone in case of emergency. Once upon a time, I hated the idea of children having mobiles. I have Romneyed flip-flopped and believe they should take at least a basic phone to school. I don't want my sister stranded or unable to call for help.

Apart from that, she paid for it, so her rules.

*#YAWN#* are u through

Too much for an iphone o

Very nice.

rape is a very big problem in our society today, lets speak up against it, today.u don't know if ur sista will be d next victim.

A new Iphone will probably be out before gregory reads through the contract. Good idea though.

Lol. Na w o. Dis one hard pass 10 commandments. Anyt point collectind fone frm her again sef?

mikeyhernadez: Too much for an iphone o

his mum might have seen some element of misbehaving and strange characters and trying to correct it knowingfully well that he needs that phone badly.

Rap maestro: *#YAWN#* are u through

**close mouth and spray air freshner** @op. Those rules are good

nawa Ooh

pekelepekele: If I were the Son . I will say yes to all the rules but tell her I don't need the phone . What of if she buy me a house she will tell me the time to poop , time to go out of the house and others

dude see your sense that a 13years old remember? So the child needs all the caution.

thanks mum, i reject the iPhone without any disrespect intended.

pekelepekele: If I were the Son . I will say yes to all the rules but tell her I don't need the phone . What of if she buy me a house she will tell me the time to poop in the toilet, time to go out of the house and others

he's 13 yrs old. teenage years

pekelepekele:

The question is why buy the 13 year old an Iphone ? and then place those laws on his head. My own kids will never have a phone until they are 16 but they will have a desktop PC not a laptop so that they won't go about with it and the desktop will have a 100% working keylogger installed on it to monitor all they are doing on the internet .

If i want to contact them at school , I will be calling the school principal.

there are so many things that are mobile now than waiting to get home to use a desktop

Thank you!

Trying so hard to look like a sweet mum. Bullshit!

pekelepekele:

The question is why buy the 13 year old an Iphone ? and then place those laws on his head. My own kids will never have a phone until they are 16 and not a phone enabled with browsing that will be until they turned 18 but they will surely have a desktop PC not a laptop so that they won't go about with it and the desktop will have a 100% working keylogger installed on it to monitor all they are doing on the internet .

If i want to contact them at school , I will be calling the school principal.

Hum! Like say no be ikorodu you dey stay. I like your swag.

I cant belief a lot of you are criticising her, no wonder you are all spoilt brats.

Though condition for a 13 year old

This is the difference between Gregory's mom and Mama Bilikisu. Mama Ayo can never be like Gregory's mom.

sniperwolf: Though condition for a 13 year old

You mean tough condition. Are you still at work or doing half-day?

04kaa: I cant belief a lot of you are criticising her, no wonder you are all spoilt brats.

You mean ...i can't believe......

J12: Trying so hard to look like a sweet mum. Bullshit!

You mean ...Trying so hard to be a good and responsible mother....