Siena: To be honest, I can't blame you for wanting to turn your back on Nigerians in Nigeria.

I've had similar experiences.

My eldest sister too has fallen foul of our kid sister (she's 36). She's the only one who was born in Nigeria, and it would have been a simple issue to get her to the UK as a dependent, whilst she was under 18 (as we were all orphaned quite young). My elder sister sent her money to sort out her passport, visa and stuff. She blew the money, and claimed she was "duped" by a "visa agent."

My elder sister sent her more money, and the same thing happened - this time, she said it wasn't enough, she needed to pay certain people. Again, it never happened.

Again, my elder sister wanted to open a Dom account, our kid sister said she could do it. She was sent money back in 2010, and till date, no Dom account, no money.

Lastly, she was sent £500 worth of goods to sell; the idea was she made a profit, and sent the balance back, then more goods could be sent. So building up a business that would benefit herself. This was at the tail end of 2010. She sold the goods, and never sent a penny back. She claims "her customers are owing her." For two years??

I have leant money to Nigerians here in the UK; at one time when I was still a student (back in 1993) I was struggling. A friend of mine told me his mother back in Nigeria had to have a life-saving operation, and needed £1,000. He said the full amount was £6,500, but he'd raised the bulk, and just needed £1,000. I didn't have the money. I used my rent to help him out, he promised me he would pay me back three weeks later when his student grant came through.

It never happened. It turned out the university he was meant to be studying at was a con. He wasn't a student at UEL Stratford, he was a hustler. I couldn't get hold of him, and ended up losing my accommodation. I was homeless for 8 weeks, and luckily still had my old beat-up '83 Toyota Carina wagon, which became my home, till I sorted myself out. It was winter too, and so cold, there was ice forming on the inside of the windows.

I later learned he'd done the same to 3 other students from my faculty - 1 Ghanaian, 2 English. His mother was never ill, and he was last seen in Manchester, driving a 1991 BMW 325i M-Tec Sport. Bought with money we'd leant him out of an act of kindness, and he'd just run away.

It was a hard lesson learnt, and I'm wiser. I know where he lives now, and ran into him back in '95, but I couldn't be bothered to ask him why he'd done what he did. I didn't ask him for my money either, despite the fact I could have seized his car, sold it at auction and given him the money, less my £1,000. I felt I'd leave him to God. Anyone that can lie that his mom's at death's door to get money out of well-meaning folk has no honour, and he probably needs the money more than I do.

Never again.

Rotmyt: There are dishonest people everywhere but that hasn't stopped me from helping those who I can. My watchword now is "never borrow anyone what you can't afford to dash the person"

Gambrosia: Nigerians are not HELP-ABLE!
They are like bottomless pits! Nigerian problems HAVE NO 'APPY H-ENDINGS O!
I don't bother. . . I only give gifts!
No loans or falling for that crap of 'helping to start-up a business'!

Tusky44: [b]Op you are just arriving at a conclusion many have made already. Sending money to Nigeria is pointless, foolish, unrealistic, and more important, not needed. Read some wishy-washy claims made by some nairaland members who put themselves forward as millionaires. They say things like, "guys are making it here in naija o" "i sponsor my relatives abroad" "London is a shyte hole for frustrated Nigerian immigrants".

Okay i agree the London bit but just cos i hate the little englanders and have a bias for the bigots white working class who blame immigrants for their predicaments. That said, the ones i really pity are the loud mouths who think cos they made dubious millions in 'father land', then somehow the diaspora community cannot measure up with them.

My advice is, CHOP your money and raise your family well abroad. State in your WILL that you should be buried in a cemetery abroad when you die. Never you get a headache for Nigeria cos you would be disappointed. Finally, i hope you married a Caucasian or a very decent black American/European. If you marry all these CAJAD FAKE HAIR wearing Naija women, then am sorry you are hooked in misery for life. Okay that last bit got some frowning already but wetin concern me? I frown too [/b]

olas2u:

Dont talk about Nigerian women that way,thats the choice you have made.live and die there,dont come back

Tusky44:

You ba live and die in Naija. Don't come out

olas2u: Dont talk about Nigerian women that way,thats the choice you have made.live and die there,dont come back