happynwa:
The best is to create ur bond btw urself nd ur inlaws. what i mean by dat is dat they will cont to come visit u as long as u re married to deir brother, but as soon as u hear or see dem around take all ur important belongings including ur property receipt nd kip safe, wit dat she or they will knw dat u re nw wise enough to handle ur property.

pattybf:

next time, if you don't have any advice for matters of this nature, pls i suggest u just respect urself rather than typing nonsense.

do you expect her to belittle herself by begging a thief and a complete manner-less idiot for friendship.

this is why i disassociated myself from one of my very close friend,after she got married, she was trying to act a "saint Theresa" being good to all her in-laws,opens her doors for them and even allowed them to her pot,each time i advice her, she would say it doesn't matter but what happened before one year, this same in-laws began to take advantage of her weakness and eventually connived with their brother and my dear friend was thrown out of her matrimonial home after she received public embarrassment.

in my own case, i told my hubby i would never live with an in-law,when they tried it by sending one of his brother who just finished his nysc, my hubby didn't let the matter get to me before he said no to them.

when they realized i didn't know anything about the matter, their first daughter(younger to my hubby bt older to me,who is also a divorcee) called me demanding i let the guy stay accusing me of being responsible for her brother's refusal.i referred her back to my hubby but she got furious and began to insult me, i instantly gave it to her back, she threatened to come and beat me up.that same day i went to report at the nearest police station since my hubby was not in town, on my way back i bought an acid waiting the day she would come which she never did.

i advice every woman not to take nonsense from your in-laws especially if you are married to the igbos, let both your inlaws and hubby know you from the very beginning, don't sell ur rights and think u can get it back latter.


it boils my blood to hear things like this.

alakori:

I got the gold back from her. When she slapped me and my husband got there he wanted to beat her up but I begged him not to. I did this because tempers were raised, it was the mother that egged her on and I felt if he started to beat her it would degenerate into a fight between him and his Mom and I did not want that.

That being said, I have also informed my husband that I would not welcome her into my home anymore and we seem to have agreed on that.

The problem is that we are due to go to his place soon. The girl makes it a point of duty to greet me, emphasizing my first name. When I do not answer she and her Mum begin to quarell with me. I really feel the problem is with my mother-in-law who eggs are on, as per, if the mom is not around and she greets me with my first name and I ignore her, she go just waka pass. But if the Mom is around she will raise her voice shouting 'is it not you I am greeting'. From there the Mum will join in and shouting match

Ujujoan:

No you are not being unreasonable . . .
That girl is very disrespectful and a big thief!
However, you can't force her to call you 'aunt'.
But next time she dares to raise her hands on you, lock her up for assault!

alakori: Please nairalanders I need your advice. I am married to a man who is the first son of seven. I am older than all his siblings. One of his sisters was a frequent visitor to our home. I feel I did my best to make her feel at home. For instance I never asked her to do any house work to help me because I feel it is my home and I would do my house work anyway even if she was not around. I allowed her complete freedom in the kitchen to dish her own food and eat whatever she wanted.

Three years ago when she came on vacation she stole some of my gold jewelry. When I saw it with her she denied that it was not mine. Later she insisted that I must have forgotten it in her parents house the last time we came on vacation which I know fully well was not true as the gold disappeared from underneath my bed.

Last year again she came to visit and some more jewelry disappeared. We were moving house at the time and in all the confusion she packed quite a substantial number. [I sell gold].

I went to their house to confront her about it and we started to exchange words. I called her a thief. Her mother ( my mother-in-law) asked her to deal with me and she slapped me twice. I did not retaliate.

During the peace making process, I gave a condition for which I would forgive. I said she would not call me by my first name any longer. I am seven years older than her. My mother in law jumped up, shouting and saying I had no right to demand that. They are Ibo. The girl is the first daughter of the family.

Well since then if the girl calls me by my first name I do not answer her. If her mother is there at the time, a quarell ensures as she will accuse me of keeping malice. Now people are advising me to let go and accept this girl calling me by my first name for the sake of peace.

Am I being unreasonable?

LastApostle:
If I cannot hit my wife,then I will never hit my sister because of her. I won't even side any of them during heated argument or whatever. I will try to remain neutral as ever becoming a peace advisor and negotiator.
But all in all, I will employ sanction instead of violence means to set scores with my sister.

LastApostle: Op, are you married to your husband alone or you are married into the family?
I guess you are a potential mother in law and a mother is always a mother more especially if she has a son. Now, you are depriving her of the love of his SON by owning him all to your self.

We men tend to look after our parent especially our mothers when we are still single but when married, the support to family naturally slow down. Are you blocking the little flow to mama?

Are you applying the western method of marriage in your home against the overwhelming traditional mindset of the average African woman like your mother in-law?

Make her believe she is in control by doing those things her son use to do for her when he was still single all by yourself. The reason why they are fighting and stealing from you is because they believe you are sitting and squandering their SON's money whereas you might actually be earning your money.

Tomorrow might be your turn to be a mother in-law but what puzzles me is how come majority of mothers-in-law is general term evil by their supposedly daughters-in-law nowadays?
Can't you female folks hold a meeting and thrash this re-occurring problematic problem?

Geomac: You got two slaps from your SIL and you did not do anything? You should have slapped her 3 times. Was your husband there when she slapped you or he came after you have been awarded two resounding slaps? Anyway, it can not happen to my wife.