Don't know if this is the best place to post this but its an interesting read.

http://lindaikeji..co.uk/2013/02/in-nigeria-youre-either-somebody-or.html

In Nigeria, you're either somebody or nobody? Please read the article and tell us what you think. Written by journalist and author Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani

In America, all men are believed to be created equal and endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. But Nigerians are brought up to believe that our society consists of higher and lesser beings. Some are born to own and enjoy, while others are born to toil and endure.

The earliest indoctrination many of us have to this mind-set happens at home. Throughout my childhood, “househelps” – usually teenagers from poor families – came to live with my family, sometimes up to three or four of them at a time. In exchange for scrubbing, laundering, cooking, baby-sitting and everything else that brawn could accomplish, either they were sent to school, or their parents were sent regular cash.

My father detested it when our househelps sang. Each time a new one arrived, my siblings and I spent the first few evenings as emissaries from the living room, where our family watched TV after dinner, to the kitchen, where the househelps washed dishes or waited to be summoned.
“My daddy said I should tell you to stop singing.”

Immediately, they would shush. Often, they forgot and started again – if not that same evening, on a subsequent one. Finally, my father would lose his imperial cool, stomp over to the kitchen and stand by the door.
“Stop singing!” he would command.
That usually settled the matter.

I honestly cannot blame my father. Although they hailed from different villages across the land, their melodies were always the same: The most lugubrious tunes in the most piercing tones, which made you think of death.

Melancholic singing was not the only trait they had in common. They all gave off a feral scent, which never failed to tell the tale each time they abandoned the wooden stools set aside for them and relaxed on our sofas while we were out. They all displayed a bottomless hunger that could never be satisfied, no matter how much you heaped on their plates or what quantity of our leftovers they cleaned out.

And they all suffered from endless tribulations, in which they always wanted to get you involved.
The roof of their family house got blown off by a rainstorm. Their mother just had her 11th baby and the doctor had seized mum and newborn, pending payment of the hospital bill. Their brother, an apprentice trader in Aba, was wrongfully accused of stealing from his boss and needed to be bailed out. A farmland tussle had left their father lying half-dead in hospital, riddled with machete wounds. Their mother’s auntie, a renowned witch, had cursed their sister so that she could no longer hear or speak. They were pregnant but the carpenter responsible was claiming he had never met them before … Always one calamity after the other.

Househelps were widely believed to be scoundrels and carriers of disease. The first thing to do when a new one arrived was drag him off to the laboratory for blood tests, the results of which would determine whether he should be allowed into your haven. The last thing to do when one was leaving was to search him for stolen items. In one memorable incident, the help in my friend’s house, knowing that her luggage would be searched, donned all the children’s underwear she had stolen. And she nearly got away with it. But just as she stepped out the door, my friend’s mother noticed that the girl’s hips had broadened beyond what food could afflict on the human anatomy in such little time, and insisted that she raise her skirt.

Every family we knew had similar stories about their domestic staff. With time, we children learned to think of them as figures depressed by the hand of nature below the level of the human species, as if they had been created only as a useful backdrop against which we were to shine.
Not much has changed since I was a child. My friend’s daughter, who attends one of those schools where all the students are children of either well-off Nigerians or well-paid expatriates, recently captured this attitude while summarizing the plot of my novel to her mother. “Three people died,” the 11-year-old said, “but one of them was a poor man.”
It reminded me of the conversation in Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” when Huck tries to explain a delay in a journey:
“It warn’t the grounding – that didn’t keep us back but a little. We blowed out a cylinder-head.”
“Good gracious! anybody hurt?”
“No’m. Killed a nigger.”
“Well, it’s lucky; because sometimes people do get hurt.”

BIGOTS and racists exist in America, without a doubt, but America today is a more civilized place than Nigeria. Not because of its infrastructure or schools or welfare system. But because the principle of equality was laid out way back in its Declaration of Independence. The Nigerian Constitution states, in Section 17(2)(a), that “every citizen shall have equality of rights, obligations and opportunities before the law.” However, this provision is in a portion of the document that contains “objectives” of the Nigerian state. It is not enforceable; it certainly isn’t reality.
The average Nigerian’s best hope for dignified treatment is to acquire the right props. Flashy cars. Praise singers. Elite group membership. British or American accent. Armed escort. These ensure that you will get efficient service at banks and hospitals. If the props prove insufficient, a properly bellowed “Do you know who I am?” could very well do the trick.

This somebody-nobody mind-set is at the root of corruption and underdevelopment: ingenuity that could be invested in moving society forward is instead expended on individuals’ rising just one rung higher, and immediately claiming their license to disparage and abuse those below. Even when one househelp is made supervisor over the rest, he ends up being more callous than the owners of the house.

Some years ago, I made a decision to start treating domestic workers as “somebodys.” I said “please” and “thank you” and “if you don’t mind.” I smiled for no reason. But I was only confusing them; they knew how society worked. They knew that somebodys gave orders and kicked them around. Anyone who related to them as an equal was no longer deserving of respect. Thus, the vicious cycle of oppression goes on and on.
Nigeria is one of Africa’s largest economies; it produces around two million barrels of crude oil per day. And yet, in 2010, 61 percent of Nigerians were living in “absolute poverty” – able to afford only the bare essentials of shelter, food and clothing. In one state in northern Nigeria, where extremist groups like Boko Haram originate, poverty levels that year were as high as 86.4 percent.

Economic growth will continue to bypass the majority, the gap between rich and poor will continue to widen, so long as we see ourselves as divided between somebodys and nobodys. Only when that changes will the househelps sing more cheerful tunes.

Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is a journalist and writer, and was former standards editor at NEXT. Her debut novel, I Do Not Come to You by Chance, was winner of the 2010 Commonwealth Writers Prize for Best First Book (Africa).

This is a very nice article. Thank you for posting it.

I would like to add that before God we're all equal too. And that the way to Heaven is not determined by how much we possess and what rank in a society we hold. Before God we're all equal.

Ada Nwaubani made it sound like her parents didn't teach her and her siblings to respect and appreciate everybody whether maid or not. She is writing about a good topic but spoilt it by bringing in her family upbringing and relationship with maids therein. She said that it is in recent years that she learnt to accord due respect to maids (the "thank you" and "smiles" ), like was she treating them less than that before? Some of us lived with maids while growing up and still appreciated and respected them. One of the househelps I grew up with was getting same stuffs, dresses etc parents bought for me, it was as if we were twins. We were taught to treat them like our own siblings too so it isn't every family that looked down on maids as nobodies.

On that note if Ada had cut out that part about the maids and concentrated on her topic and found other good examples and areas where the poor are snobbed and the rich exalted in our country that would have been a nice write up.

Ivynwa: Ada Nwaubani made it sound like her parents didn't teach her and her siblings to respect and appreciate everybody whether maid or not. She is writing about a good topic but spoilt it by bringing in her family upbringing and relationship with maids therein. She said that it is in recent years that she learnt to accord due respect to maids (the "thank you" and "smiles" ), like was she treating them less than that before?

Why are you making it sound as if she made all those things up.
She relayed her personal experience just as it was to paint the desired effect which it did.
Like it or not,it is a vivid description of the relationship between average Nigerian families with housemaids back in the day and up till now.

Some of us lived with maids while growing up and still appreciated and respected them. One of the househelps I grew up with was getting same stuffs, dresses etc parents bought for me, it was as if we were twins. We were taught to treat them like our own siblings too so it isn't every family that looked down on maids as nobodies.

On that note if Ada had cut out that part about the maids and concentrated on her topic and found other good examples and areas where the poor are snobbed and the rich exalted in our country that would have been a nice write up.

@bolded...speak for yourself and family.Stop questioning Ada's angle.
Its an interesting read depicting the sad angle of Nigerians' social and economic lives.
Would you have preferred she says things are they are not instead?

carefreewannabe:
I would like to add that before God we're all equal too.

In this world, only few people will remember the quote above in relating to their fellow beings.

Ivynwa: Ada Nwaubani made it sound like her parents didn't teach her and her siblings to respect and appreciate everybody whether maid or not. She is writing about a good topic but spoilt it by bringing in her family upbringing and relationship with maids therein. She said that it is in recent years that she learnt to accord due respect to maids (the "thank you" and "smiles" ), like was she treating them less than that before? Some of us lived with maids while growing up and still appreciated and respected them. One of the househelps I grew up with was getting same stuffs, dresses etc parents bought for me, it was as if we were twins. We were taught to treat them like our own siblings too so it isn't every family that looked down on maids as nobodies.

On that note if Ada had cut out that part about the maids and concentrated on her topic and found other good examples and areas where the poor are snobbed and the rich exalted in our country that would have been a nice write up.

I don’t see anything wrong with what she said. She showed her upbringing a part of the problem, which I feel is a necessary step towards a lasting solution. She could have adopted a ‘holier than thou’ attitude, but she did not, this I find impressive.

Truth be told, we all know what the problem is, but seem to shy away from working towards a lasting solution, as it is embedded in our orientation right from childhood.

Long One:

I don’t see anything wrong with what she said. She showed her upbringing a part of the problem, which I feel is a necessary step towards a lasting solution. She could have adopted a ‘holier than thou’ attitude, but she did not, this I find impressive.

Truth be told, we all know what the problem is, but seem to shy away from working towards a lasting solution, as it is embedded in our orientation right from childhood.

slimyem: Why are you making it sound as if she made all those things up.
She relayed her personal experience just as it was to paint the desired effect which it did.
Like it or not,it is a vivid description of the relationship between average Nigerian families with housemaids back in the day and up till now. @bolded...speak for yourself and family.Stop questioning Ada's angle.
Its an interesting read depicting the sad angle of Nigerians' social and economic lives.
Would you have preferred she says things are they are not instead?

One or two of my posts here in the forum in the past holds the same view as depicted in Ada's article. I also don't like that the rich ones are exalted and the poor ones unappreciated in our country.

I don't think that her use of how she related with maids did justice to her write-up, there are other instances that can bring her topic home to people without telling the world that she wasn't taught to respect all persons and making it seem like every family look down on maids and families that give out their children as helps. I don't think that is true but if you guys think so too then you are entitled to your opinion just like I am entitled to mine. Thanks

Ivynwa: Ada Nwaubani made it sound like her parents didn't teach her and her siblings to respect and appreciate everybody whether maid or not. She is writing about a good topic but spoilt it by bringing in her family upbringing and relationship with maids therein. She said that it is in recent years that she learnt to accord due respect to maids (the "thank you" and "smiles" ), like was she treating them less than that before? Some of us lived with maids while growing up and still appreciated and respected them. One of the househelps I grew up with was getting same stuffs, dresses etc parents bought for me, it was as if we were twins. We were taught to treat them like our own siblings too so it isn't every family that looked down on maids as nobodies.

^^^

Defense mechanism that people use when you expose their privilege to them.

Ivynwa:
One or two of my posts here in the forum in the past holds the same view as depicted in Ada's article. I also don't like that the rich ones are exalted and the poor ones unappreciated in our country.

I don't think that her use of how she related with maids did justice to her write-up, there are other instances that can bring her topic home to people without telling the world that she wasn't taught to respect all persons and making it seem like every family look down on maids and families that give out their children as helps. I don't think that is true but if you guys think so too then you are entitled to your opinion just like I am entitled to mine. Thanks

I think her article was as truthful as one can expect . . for a Nigerian.
She can act like you and 'claim' their HHs were as good as their adopted siblings, but she chose to tell the truth.
You might find fault with that but I think I understand where she's coming from.
She's not trying to be judgmental or point accusing fingers, she's saying it as it is.
If you say your family treated HHs equally then kudos to you, but we know only 1% of the Nigerian population are likely to do that.
So she wasn't faulting her upbringing, she was just describing the lifestyle of an average Nigerian.
It might not be so right, but we can't deny that that is what is obtainable!

Most of the article is soooo true about the Nigerian social system.I think though that in all societies and even in the west today the gap between the have and have-nots keep expanding.I am an avid fan of BBC 4 cos of their documentaries and one i watched stated that social mobility is at its lowest in Britain for the last 50 years.Same thing in most countries that practise some sort of Capitalism.In short being poor is not a very nice place for anyone anywhere.

The article though touches on the Nigerian part which i too have always been uncomfortable with and i think it just stems from our competitive nature as a people.Most Nigerians daresay I only feel validated as a person if they feel they are better than their neighbour.And this is not even just among the rich and the middle class even poor people sef are like that.Hence the name i beta pass my neighbour for that small gen .Its just constant from when you are born to always excel and be better than the next person.Thats not a bad thing in itself as that spirit makes us highly ambitious or high achievers.

BUT its just the individualism that sometimes gets at me.I dont care if everyone around me dies as long as me and my family are fine or see our own to chop i dont care.Even relatives treat the poorer ones as sub humans.We had househelps too growing up and treated them very well too.But as much as we did they still knew and acted like they were inferior from just simple things like speaking english.The kind of english you speak is one class barrier in Naija o(funny enough i think we got that from our colonial mother Britain so class conscious geez).

All in all though its horrible being poor anyway but in Nigeria and most 3rd world countries,you are simply less than a human being

She wrote so much about the societal class segregation and so little on how to curb it.
@Ivy,why do you have a problem with her personal experience?She's been honest,IMO.

ifyalways: She wrote so much about the societal class segregation and so little on how to curb it.
@Ivy,why do you have a problem with her personal experience?She's been honest,IMO.

Yeah, I thought as much too as in how to change that----
Ain't got worries with her personal experience Ojare, just saying that there are many instances that should have been used for example some fathers in the villages that will insult and almost want to push their adult boys into robbery [color=000099]when they see[/color] the Obodo oyibo-living children of their mates return home with dollars .

ifyalways: She wrote so much about the societal class segregation and so little on how to curb it.

The answer, I believe lies in the passage, where she spoke about the constitution and her personal experience as a kid.
The Nigerian government needs to go back to the drawing board, re-examine the constitution and enforce equality at all levels. They should lead by example i.e. trade the ‘oga’ mentality for the originally intended ‘public servant’ image instead of their bullying attitude. If you treat people like animals, they are more likely to behave like them eventually.

In addition, teaching kids simple courtesy regardless of the intended recipient’s creed or social status is important, as they represent the future of society. If majority of the kids are brought up to feel everyone is equal, it should ‘in theory’ reduce it.
The British educational system has a stage in the child’s education where they start telling them to report to authorities if their parents hit them. I suggest Nigeria borrow this concept but use it in a better way by judging the child’s home training by character and feeding these results back. The Government can then use the carrot or stick approach to correct this with the parents.

I don't share the authors views though it's somehow applicable to some people. I also grew up having house helps and with the circumstances I grew up in, we kinda shared tasks and responsibilities so I never saw them as inferior. That stuck with me and until now I see every other person as equals and believe they deserve to be respected and cared for even though they seem not to be from a privileged background.

Brand_new: I don't share the authors views though it's somehow applicable to some people. I also grew up having house helps and with the circumstances I grew up in, we kinda shared tasks and responsibilities so I never saw them as inferior. That stuck with me and until now I see every other person as equals and believe they deserve to be respected and cared for even though they seem not to be from a privileged background.

Just what I said. I share her view but do not agree perfectly with the instance she used to buttressed her point.

As per solution, it starts with us all. There are people in our country mostly youths with such crazy mentality towards the rich. I was with a group of people sometime ago and somebody passed us and the kind of adulations he got in greetings was enough to make me know that there must be a reason why he was being specially greeted and praised, the next moment he walked away two persons in the group busted out praising the young man and making every one know how much money the said man has to a point that i nearly wanted to close my ears.

In my opinion though, I think that a greater percentage of homes in Nigeria inculcate moral values compared to some other countries. If some people think that most famlies don't teach kids to appreciate and respect everyone irrespective of class or jobs they are doing then the teaching of good values should be inculcated in schools and home. There is a country that got tired of parents not teaching kids enough at home and having them grow up with less moral values. What they did was start a drive/campaign that aims at instilling moral values/virtues in schools.