I need love.

I need to love and be loved. I want to love selflessly, holding nothing back. I want to give it all. I want to get so high on the giving; I want to know that I love because, I just love loving, but who’s going to love me this way.

Who’s going to love me when my heart is breaking and my spirit is aching? Who’s there to love me when I’m down in the dumps, who’s going to hold me and tell me everything going to be ok? Who’s going to give me a great big bear-hug and say to me, ‘hang in there because I love you” who’s going to love me just for me, who’s going to love me the best. Who’s going to say to me, “hey, next to God, you are the most important person in my life” who’s going to look forward to ever put me ahead of work, ahead of the crowed?

I need it. My Jesus in the flesh, who’ll love me in my depth of grouchiness, not someone I have to prep up and prop up for. Not someone who’s going to accept me just because I’m a good girl doing the right things, but someone to love and care for who’ll feel as soft over me as I do him. I don’t need a mirror. I want someone real and mature, not some sick kid I’ll play nanny to.

I think I did more than enough of my fair share of that. However selfish this sounds, I’m not packing anybody’s shit again; my own fart smells bad enough!

I don’t just want the religious “bless you” kind of love, I want the real thing. You must have an idea of what I want because you want to make me your bride, to live forever in union with me. I’m not trying to be religious or blasphemous; I’m simply telling you what I understand your actions to mean. I’m telling you how I see you coming down to woo me.

You love me so much. You left behind your glory, your powers and came just for me; you came to ask for my hand in marriage and even when I wasn’t down on being with you, you wept! You took all my stress, all my junk. You accepted all I dished out and even through all of this; you went and died for me just to show me how much you love me. Tell him lord, convince him I’m ready, I’m waiting. My arms are open, only it’s empty. Fill it up. Yes, I’m able to reciprocate. I’m able to take it; I’ll preserve and nurture it. Break down the walls and I promise I’ll tenderly take care of her. I give you my solemn vow, I’ll treat him well, I’ll tread carefully, I won’t break his vases or upturn his water pots. I won’t step on his china. Instead, I’ll store and preserve his treasures.

The hardest part is the end of the day, after the applause has died down and the euphoria of public speaking has cooled off, I hate going home all alone to me, myself and I. I want to go home all alone to someone and relay all the day’s events. I want him to lie awake in my arms all night talking beautiful nonsense. I want him to sit across from me in the day giggling silly. Is this a dream?

Does it only happen in books and Nollywood? Can’t it happen in my life? No! I know it can happen because somebody writes those books and those scripts. Whatever the mind of man can conceive can happen. Some bodies write those and I feel this. I feel it, not because I want to be silly and soppy, but because I crave it. God, my heart is heavy; it’s breaking and ready to burst. Hello girl, wake up and stop dreaming and pinning. The sooner you get your acts together, put your brain in gear and get real, the better for you. That way, you won’t play the yo-yo up and down game. Forget all this talk about blah.

Lady, I hear you but I think you are a wet blanket, a kill-joy and a spoiler. Can’t a lonely girl be allowed the luxury of dreaming every once in a while? Must you just come and spoil my sweet dreams with your reality check?

Sorry I bored you today with my smoochy softie talks, but I thought you might be interested in knowing that sickness has not wiped out my need for love and that other forbidden topics you’d rather I don’t even think about. Big pity and no apologies here, but it sure always is on my God-loving mind but that, my friend, is talk for another day.

If you didnt read it all, hit the like button.

Whao!!! I took time to read it all and it was worth it. Nice write up.
I'm offering you my love.

Thanks

Op beautiful!beautiful!.Thanks

wellmax: I want to go home all alone to someone and relay all the day’s events. I want him to lie awake in my arms all night talking beautiful nonsense. I want him to sit across from me in the day giggling silly. Is this a dream?

My favourite line. I'm blushing...

wow.....that was long