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An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. - Literature - Nairaland

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An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by slimyem: 12:41pm On Feb 18, 2013
An almost instantly dissipating smell in an airy
environment. An air you cant brook...it usually
takes a moment to recognize the
devastatingly unpleasant wind...

They come from gas in mixture of foods
especially sulphur-rich foods like egg,
meat,milk cabbage,and apples.foods like egg
and meat are really bad for making stinky fart.cool

The sound is usually caused by vibrations of
the a-nal opening and also depends on the
tightness of the muscles of your anus.shockedcheesy
Okay...i know it can be
embarrassing,smelly,and a definite no-no
when you are having a sha-g but lets face it..it
can be hysterically funny and very
entertaining.grin

Immediately after the act, when a feeling of
paranoia washes over you,there are
strategies to employ-acting oblivious and
innocent,coughing obviously or suddenly
moving your chair so that people around you
would think they misheard the fart
[s]na lie u dey lie if you talk say you never do any of these beforeundecided[/s]
or betterstill proclaim the fart as your own grand
accomplishment and issue a challenge to
others to outdo that one if they think they
can..

You can blast them out loudly and boast of
them proudly.

One truth-Everyone alive farts.Some even fart
shortly after death.kings,presidents,opera
singers, beauty queens,priests and nuns fart.
Its a big mistake to say that farting is not
ladylike and its not weird to enjoy fart.its
healthy.its also universal for people to enjoy
their own fart..

So keep farting-A fart is such a useful thing.It
brings on lots of ease.it warms the bed on
cold nights and suffocates the mosquitoes.smiley

34 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Splendblex(f): 2:21pm On Feb 18, 2013
Chai! grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by BukkyDan(f): 4:17pm On Feb 18, 2013
Chai! Ogini di?
A high five for you jor!

1 Like

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by obowunmi(m): 12:17am On Feb 19, 2013
I almost died reading this.... ahahaha! that's my baby for you, she has so much talent. tongue tongue grin grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by slimyem: 9:45pm On Feb 19, 2013
^^smileysmileycool
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Doyensky: 11:07am On Feb 20, 2013
ah, make we dey fart dey go, its a sign dat we r in gud health, i wonder why pple jst act as if farting is an abomination, me no send, i can release d bomb anywer.

1 Like

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by BukkyDan(f): 7:00pm On Feb 20, 2013
Doyensky: ah, make we dey fart dey go, me no send, i can release d bomb anywer.

seriously? So you can release one now?
#hides under her bed#
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Ademab(m): 6:53pm On Feb 21, 2013
We have loud fart, medium fart and the silent fart... Dangerous.... (Silencer) I didn't do it, RAJU?

2 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by mysticgal(f): 6:53pm On Feb 21, 2013
No be say i no the mess,but i dey respect myself when it comes to this matter.

2 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by glimpse(f): 6:54pm On Feb 21, 2013
*Farts on the thread* tongue

5 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by iamswizz(m): 6:55pm On Feb 21, 2013
.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by FXKing2012(m): 7:00pm On Feb 21, 2013
obowunmi: that's my baby for you, she has so much talent. tongue tongue grin grin
Not her write-up, it's a copy and paste work.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by MrUzo: 7:01pm On Feb 21, 2013
Let's take pools

Like if you think boys fart frequently than girl

3 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by azpekuliar: 7:01pm On Feb 21, 2013
Oyinbos don't fart..... grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by FXKing2012(m): 7:02pm On Feb 21, 2013
glimpse: *Farts on the thread* tongue
Thatz unladylike and naaaaasssstyyyyy!
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Tascocent(m): 7:02pm On Feb 21, 2013
suffocates the mosquitoes......how tru us dis.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by MrUzo: 7:02pm On Feb 21, 2013
Like if you think girl fart frequently than boys

11 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by nikkyshyne(f): 7:03pm On Feb 21, 2013
Razz people.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by alaladakosta(f): 7:03pm On Feb 21, 2013
i once trow a big one on my way to america,i have to excuse myself after polluting the air,i can see the weird look on the indian man sitted beside me.i no send. grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by creativemusic: 7:04pm On Feb 21, 2013
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Nobody: 7:06pm On Feb 21, 2013
Wtf? I almost choked while laughing grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by yuzedo: 7:10pm On Feb 21, 2013
undecided
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by dedons: 7:11pm On Feb 21, 2013
Na so my gf fart 4 my papa presence

2 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Shugamania(f): 7:11pm On Feb 21, 2013
cheesy
And the heavenly feeling of freedom that comes after one is released..U sure wont get that anywhere else. cool

3 Likes

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Nobody: 7:12pm On Feb 21, 2013
*farts onto the cup of my palm, and presses it into the nose of the op.*
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Nobody: 7:13pm On Feb 21, 2013
. Una jus dey say fart__una dey Bleep up jor. . -na MESS no be fart!
Dis censor machine don start again abi? Na _fuckup_ i talk no be bleep up_
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Tascocent(m): 7:15pm On Feb 21, 2013
dedons: Na so my gf fart 4 my papa presence
she must b a learner grin cheesy
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by FKO1(m): 7:15pm On Feb 21, 2013
....And this made front page !

1 Like

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by omiobo: 7:16pm On Feb 21, 2013
*Cover my nose* who fart on this thread?
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by shalomtemmy(f): 7:21pm On Feb 21, 2013
habah....na u try pass
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by OkikiOluwa1(m): 7:23pm On Feb 21, 2013
Eating locust bean mixed with 4 fried eggs, meat & 3days beans. I must do the 'fart of life' tonight.
slimyem:
So keep farting-A fart is such a useful thing.It
brings on lots of ease.it warms the bed on
cold nights and suffocates the mosquitoes.smiley

BREAKING NEWS!
slimyem's fart can suffocate mosquitoes.
#I m inviting her to my room tonight for a tough job.

1 Like

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