KarmaMod:

Do you generally think everything is about you? That's a female trait you know. Suggest you deal with it.
Can a person reply anything without people think I'm specifically referring to them. My first comment for some reason you made it about You. Congrats you're the ONE person who said both men and women are to blame, so that means I shouldnt say anything anymore despite the fact that majority claim otherwise?

What? I was responding to the post of yours, of which you responded to mine. Had you responded to someone else, I wouldn't have said anything. I was only replying you after you asked me a question. So, I don't understand how I can make this about me. You did respond to my post right? I don't understand what you're trying to get at with the last part. I was only restating what I stated earlier in the post to clarify myself so that I cannot be counted in the masses of people under fire. I'm sorry if you thought I thought it was about me. There's definitely some misunderstanding here. Oh well though. No harm done.

I quoted you however, not everything I wrote had to do with just your comment, abi are you part of those that mentioned "westernized women"?

KarmaMod:

I quoted you however, not everything I wrote had to do with just your comment, abi are you part of those that mentioned "westernized women"?

Oh okay. Thanks for clarifying.

so is it a crime now to get a FREAKIN divorce, um here is a reason why people get divroced:

Emotional,physical,mental ABUSE

Divorce/separation was more rampant back then, we just didn't notice. Maybe because it was the men leaving the women. However these days, women are more self-assured and assertive of what they want, what they deserve, and so it's now more women walking out of their homes - and staying out. That's why it looks like the divorce rate has increased. When a woman does something, it is always multiplied x10. C'est la vie.

@ poster

I think the major problem is marriage foundation. Westernization and other reasons are testing factors that shakes the foundation of individual marriages.

Storm will come, pressure will mount, woman will be woman, man will be man, children may go astray, in-laws will go a-wire, confusion go visit everywhere but a good marriage foundation will hold on. 

Therefore, present conditions are just revealing that many pple have chosen wrong and have a bad foundation - sugbon it is too late.

Divorce is just a temporary solution - it will give you temporary peace and the circle of wrong decision begins again.

A fact - you need only investigate most pples marriage foundations (choices).

What else is new??

Its on the increase everywhere abeg!!

So typical.
It comes as a shock to "these people" that women would no longer stand for nonsense they hand out hence they blame it on "westernization". Dude, "westernization" also brought the clothes on your back and the cologne you wear, so deal with the new "westernized women"!

there is more education now and alot of our women dont put up with men that treat them bad anymore,most men spend their time chasing young girls and living a single life and make their wife a baby factory machine,housekeeper,maid etc and when a women gives birth to their children they authomatically classify her as a second hand that no other man will want her cos she has kids ,so they treat her the way they want ,thinking she will never leave them ,MEN WAKE UP things has changed now ,no educated woman will put up with abusive husband anymore.

have u done any study to find out why many married men hang out in the bars and night clubs? mu natural instincts tell me that most human beings will love to be where they are comfortable the most. have u guys given a thought to why the bar seems more comfortable for the married man? is his home hell? is his wife a perpetual headache?
does he have any respect at home?

Not every woman is a trouble maker. Arielle is right, most of the married men we have now are so indiscipline when it comes to fidelity issues. To them clubbbing, drinking and womanizing is a normal thing. it just saddens me and i wonder what the world is turning into. I guess women can't just take it anymore. I ask the guys in here, Is it possible for you as a person to stick with your wife? How faithful have you been in your relationships? Can men tolerate half of what they do to women when it comes to fidelity especially? I dont support divorce but for me i can divorce if he cheats on me. i have told my fiancee a million times that the day i find out you screwing with another woman, no matter how long we have been married, that is the end. I wish all the married folks in here a very happy married life.
Cheerio.

To the guyz blaming the increase of divorce on women. . . what a pity!

Anywayzzz, itz not only in yur country, itz erwer

In my opinion, sometimes it's us women that help the men to be irresponsible though some of them are just that.

When we are working (and sometimes even better paid) we don't let him take on his responsibilities because we are independent women hence he has change in his pocket to stay out in bars all night and buy rounds and rounds of drinks. My husband and I had issues in the first few months of marriage but I woke up someday and decided I wasn't going to suffer in silence any more. He had to wake up to his responsibilities as well as make time for me. So we agreed, Friday (with flexibility) was his to go out with his friends (he's usually too tired after the working week so works fine for me!) and he had to give me a certain amount every month for myself, our daughter and general upkeep (don't ask what I do with my salary but I know that should we have a rainy day, we'll be fine). He also has to tell me if we are invited to a party and let me decide if I'm up for it or not. He used to decide for me in the past with usual excuse of but you have to look after our daughter. He now knows either of us are fit to look after her or we arrange for someone else to do so. It's been working for us so far and we (or I) are both happier for it.

I have 4 friends whose marriages have broken down within 3 years simply because their husbands still wanted to live like they were single helped by their wives taking on responsibility for things he traditionally should do hence causing so much bitterness in the home. And please don't say we are living in the modern age and we should share bills etc, my mom told me then before I got married and I thought, that was in your age mom but she was right.

But of course like someone said before, it takes 2.

spikedcylinder:

So typical.
It comes as a shock to "these people" that women would no longer stand for nonsense they hand out hence they blame it on "westernization". Dude, "westernization" also brought the clothes on your back and the cologne you wear, so deal with the new "westernized women"!

True. . . but westernisation has a large part to play in it - positively or negatively

< i have told my fiancee a million times that the day i find out you screwing with another woman, no matter how long we have been married, that is the end. I wish all the married folks in here a very happy married life.
Cheerio. >

What if you are caught cheating or flirting with another man/woman?

Further opinion
Whatever the cases are, I observed from my little research that women generally makes hell of wrong decisions when it comes to choosing a man.  Most women ended up with the man of their choice (choices based on emotions, feelings, sight, untamed desires, and what have you!) rather than with the right man. 

Men - we make wrong decisions too but they are quite different from the way females view things.

< i have told my fiancee a million times that the day i find out you screwing with another woman, no matter how long we have been married, that is the end. I wish all the married folks in here a very happy married life.
Cheerio. >

What if you are caught cheating or flirting with another man/woman?

I hate cheating with a passion so i cant be caught dead doing that. As [a man] thinks within himself, so he is. It is what you approve you do.

Woman are becoming westernised.  Yes they are becoming educated.  Great.  They are becoming strong.  Also Great.  They are learning to ask for what they want. Again great.  They are earning actual money to support the family.  Great.


The problem is Men are living in the dark ages.  They need to wise up.  The days of being Lord high master in the home while sitting on your butt and visiting other woman is OVER.

Learn to help your family to grow. Learn to be nice instead of shouting because the floor hasn't been swept five times today while you are out.  Braaah who are you.  Learn to accept and love your family and cherish your wife as the bible says.   Be a man not a bully.   

Take your share of the work.  If your wife is working all day same as you then help in the home. 

Most woman are actually better off these days with out a husband than with one who behaves like an extra but bad mannered child. 

I love my husband and he is learning to behave like a good husband.   I have never been shouted at and controlled in my life its not going to start now.  If I am asked nicely then all good. 

My husband is a fine Nigerian man who is now becoming a modern christian man.

It is a two way street and it is never all one persons fault.  Sure if woman were back in the old days then they would last better.  But there is no going back so Men come on Modern up.

@ a modern christian man ---

So what is so special about it?

Either side will keep defending themselves, It's meant to happen, you can't stop it ok

i dont think its the fault of the lady's career. i know some people who have grown old and both husband and wife were and still are career lovers. the thing is that people hardly involve religion anymore in their marriage. Marriage and Religion go together

Gone are the days were woman had the attitude that if it means death then that is a small sacrifice to pay to keep a marraige. Also if the man says that he is bring ing in wife number 2 then wife number 1 is more than likely living. One of my sister in law's husband was having children outside of the marraige and she will bring the children in and raise them so that her husband will not go to the other woman to start another family. Madness. Unless a woman is desoerate and does not value herself she will not go for that. I am not a fan of divorce but a fan of women putting their happiness at the same level they put their husbands. If the husband can only be happy if the woman sees herself as insignificant then I will not judge her for leaving his immature and insecure ass.

@ Topic,

Because women have wizened up and will not put up with the crap their mothers and grandmothers put up with (e.g. infidelity , domestic abuse , incest , irresponsibility , husband taking a "2nd" wife , fathering bastards outside , wife being forced to humiliate herself in front of husband despite the fact that he is clearly in the wrong , being treated like a slave , being given little or no respect in the marriage , etc etc etc) just so that they can continue to bear the prefix "Mrs."

And I say Go Girl Power.

Any homo who has a problem with polygamy should be shot slapped.

And any male goat who advocates polygamy should be castrated.

You will eventually end up in divorce if~~~

1.You marry base on looks and Money

2. You where forced into the marriage by parents.

3. Not real "Love involve".

etc,

NOTE:~~Marry for the right reason~~!!

SeanT21:

You will eventually end up in divorce if~~~

1.You marry base on looks and Money

2. You where forced into the marriage by parents.

3. Not real "Love involve".

etc,

NOTE:~~Marry for the right reason~~!!

out of the 3 points u made, only number 1 is valid. most other nigerians didnt have a say on who they wanted to marry, they had arranged marriages and i can assure u alot of them didnt love the dude(at least in the beginning) but the difference is that they decided to stay in the marriage and find a way to make it work.

SeanT21:

You will eventually end up in divorce if~~~

1.You marry base on looks and Money

2. You where forced into the marriage by parents.

3. Not real "Love involve".

etc,

NOTE:~~Marry for the right reason~~!!

What is your definition of getting married for the right reasons?,,what then is getting married for the wrong reason? What is right for you might be wrong for another!

If anybody tells you money is not important when choosing a partner ,,such person is telling you the biggest lie in the world! You guys might not have all the money at the moment,,,but you must have a clear-cut idea of how to be Financial independent as husband and wife bringing children into this world.
Globally, the major reason or cause for divorce is money,,and its never the problem of the west its been from time immemorial! Its just that Nigerian women re just realising that there is need for certain level of dignity in a relationship or marriage.Someone pls tell me if U re a lady married to a man whom you have severally caught with prostitute and each time he apologises when caught,,but there seems not to be an end to this attitude of ur husband,,,also you don't wanna die of AIDS,,,what would you do?I may just start a thread on this topic!!

knowledge is power and women today have come to possess it and make good use of it. gone are the days of the slave type marriages. call it westernization or whatever, women have learned to stop taking nonsense all in the name of marriage.

~Sissy~:

knowledge is power and women today have come to possess it and make good use of it. gone are the days of the slave type marriages. call it westernization or whatever, women have learned to stop taking nonsense all in the name of marriage.

Gbam 

@Post
Maybe if we start marrying ppl for the right reasons . . .maybe, just maybe the divorce rate will reduce

tope5000:

Gbam

@Post
Maybe if we start marrying ppl for the right reasons . . .maybe, just maybe the divorce rate will reduce

What is ur definition of getting married for the right reason? My defenition for getting for the right reason is when both parties applied their HEAD in the relationship b4 they say I DO,,,that is my defenition,,,when one party is trying to be desperate,pity and being pitied then something is not right,,Most people that got married for the WRONG reasons are those who tells you LOVE comes b4 you use HEAD,,,Its ur HEAD and MIND that would tell you don't get married to an HIV carrier except you are one!,,its ur Head that would tell don't go get married if you do not have the means to carry the responsibilities attached to it,,,its ur Head that would tell you both parties needs to define their Dos and Don'ts,,,
Your Head needs to tell you if you are girl and you don't like Igbo(Indian Hemp),,,and somebody who claims to LOVE you indulges in that and does not wanna let go,,,,,ur Head should tell you,,,thats the right reason to me,,,The wrong reason would over look it and calls it LOVE and after marriage the guy starts giving her the stress of her life!!
Most people in Nigeria gets married as a result of frustration and desperation,,,"They are the I just want to marry anybody jare" But marriage should not be like that!!!

REAL TRUTH:

What is ur definition of getting married for the right reason? My defenition for getting for the right reason is when both parties applied their HEAD in the relationship b4 they say I DO,,,that is my defenition,,,when one party is trying to be desperate,pity and being pitied then something is not right,,Most people that got married for the WRONG reasons are those who tells you LOVE comes b4 you use HEAD,,,Its ur HEAD and MIND that would tell you don't get married to an HIV carrier except you are one!,,its ur Head that would tell don't go get married if you do not have the means to carry the responsibilities attached to it,,,its ur Head that would tell you both parties needs to define their Dos and Don'ts,,,
Your Head needs to tell you if you are girl and you don't like Igbo(Indian Hemp),,,and somebody who claims to LOVE you indulges in that and does not wanna let go,,,,,ur Head should tell you,,,thats the right reason to me,,,The wrong reason would over look it and calls it LOVE and after marriage the guy starts giving her the stress of her life!!
Most people in Nigeria gets married as a result of frustration and desperation,,,"They are the I just want to marry anybody jare" But marriage should not be like that!!!

There are no truer words

~Sissy~:

knowledge is power and women today have come to possess it and make good use of it. gone are the days of the slave type marriages. call it westernization or whatever, women have learned to stop taking nonsense all in the name of marriage.

and u wonder why guys cheat on u