mzfelivisions: Love the post very informative. I know of the carnival tho iv nvr gone cuz I try n avoid crowds. I dnt really like publicity n try to maintain as much anonymity as possible. I Will try more festivals and weddings though. As I said thnk I'd prefer 2nd wife tho most cnt believe it due to my bkgrnd. I'm too busy to b 1st wife n dnt want the responsibility. I'm a stress free person who doesn't mk noise n wnt my time to be quality n relaxing not full of strife.

You are very open minded and i like you
You keep it real

Just be patient and maybe you shd give the oversea pple a chance
when they see ur faith in our dear country maybe they will gradually come to see naija as home again

I cn and do motivate them n do one or 2 thgs to facilitate but I'd prefer a nigerian man based here

biolabee:


You are very open minded and i like you
You keep it real

Just be patient and maybe you shd give the oversea pple a chance
when they see ur faith in our dear country maybe they will gradually come to see naija as home again

^^^ i wish you all the best in your journey but if you are open to sharing a man
I hoe u know naija women are very agressive and possessive about such things


* Southern drawl*

Hey who you be coming round this here parts
This man is not big enough for both of us
We dont take to your kind around here

LOL.. i feel you should use the oppotunity to get immersed in our ways first
If you dont want to go too far from Lagos

Ibadan is a nice place to visit and its an hour or two tops from Lagos
Also Epe is a lovely town and they have nice festivals there
Abeokuta is also not too far

Gradually it takes time.. appreciate us first and u will blend in superbly
The truth is that though we speak various languages, our cultures are 60-70% similar across the country

Sweetie iv seen 17 states so far. I know all of lagos and the southwest, south south, imo state then several of the northern states. The funny thing is that virtuelly every woman is in a poligamous relationship whether they like it or not. There's no difference between a gf, mistress n wife except percieved boundies that we conceptualize to give us a false sense of security. Its only when we accept men as they are that we have peace in our homes and our hearts. When we stop making men try n conform to mores that are unatural to them, bigomy, poligamy, and adultery are all man made westernized words. If men were not created to be poligamous. God would not hv made it possible for them to procreate til death, their bodies would sync with their mate when married or after 1st sexual encounter and they wld imprint like animals who mate for life(those animals never fine a mate even in death of their mates mind you)and once the woman can no longer procreate thts the end of their reproduction. God doesn't mk mistakes and thts y men can procreate because their can and will b other women. Most women in fact if cndid will even admit that they hv dated mattied men before they themselves married so why be possessive now when you enjoyed in the past. Its safer to have a wife than mistress and far safer than a gf. Because they're not vested in the development and propogation of your family and dynasty. They're instead focused on their intrest but a wifes interest is your interest or it should be anyway. If she's settled and productive, your settled and productive then its now just for you all to allow peace to reign n keep him happy; between the 2 or 3 of you the hubby has no stress and in turn if you ladies are wise, no energy to go outside and jeapordize the peace of your home or familial unit. I don't believe a sane man would choose to spend money on women outside if he doesn't hv to. Most me go outside looking for sanity, appreciation, excitement and a wise wife or wives can do and facilitate all those things. Please don't fight me ladies, but I'm a realist

biolabee: ^^^ i wish you all the best in your journey but if you are open to sharing a man
I hoe u know naija women are very agressive and possessive about such things


* Southern drawl*

Hey who you be coming round this here parts
This man is not big enough for both of us
We dont take to your kind around here

LOL.. i feel you should use the oppotunity to get immersed in our ways first
If you dont want to go too far from Lagos

Ibadan is a nice place to visit and its an hour or two tops from Lagos
Also Epe is a lovely town and they have nice festivals there
Abeokuta is also not too far

Gradually it takes time.. appreciate us first and u will blend in superbly
The truth is that though we speak various languages, our cultures are 60-70% similar across the country

Lmao. .
Nothing wey I no go hear for Nld . .
Just curious @ poster, you seem to be the perfect 'realistic' wife, what happened to ur first marriage

mzfelivisions: When we stop making men try n conform to mores that are unatural to them, bigomy, poligamy, and adultery are all man made westernized words. If men were not created to be poligamous. God would not hv made it possible for them to procreate til death, their bodies would sync with their mate when married or after 1st sexual encounter and they wld imprint like animals who mate for life(those animals never fine a mate even in death of their mates mind you)and once the woman can no longer procreate thts the end of their reproduction. God doesn't mk mistakes and thts y men can procreate because their can and will b other women. .......


. Please don't fight me ladies, but I'm a realist

Wow you put it out there but this a potential powderkeg here
The cyber feminists are going to run riot

I do understand than men are naturally flirtatious but the truth is that economic realities have forced out having more than a wife
It is a very costly endeavour in addition to the inherent insecurities and in fighting FUJI HOUSE OF COMMOTION

The stress of having a polygamous house can be detrimental too emotionally if not well managed but in the case of an empowered woman it may work.. NOT SURE

Good of you to have visited round the country as part of your enlightenment

It is well

^ I can see you are trying so hard to be noticed. Just be patient and wait for your turn eh

He died, thts wat makes me a widow.

Ujujoan: Lmao. .
Nothing wey I no go hear for Nld . .
Just curious @ poster, you seem to be the perfect 'realistic' wife, what happened to ur first marriage

mzfelivisions: He died, thts wat makes me a widow.

my condolences...
May he rest in peace and may you have the fortitude to bear the loss

i see u uju

Your welcome.
Its clear. Men are visual and easily motivated. Pls let's call a spade a spade
Having a girlfriend is wayyyyy mor expensive than a wife, calculate dates, private time, entertainment, incidentals. Thoughthey r nominal amounts isolated when you add them up its costlier than what you invest in your household.. Which you see a return on. Your wifes hairdo you see daily, the fuel in her car runs ur kids around or gets her to her biz. Your gf hair you receive 1/3 of a return on if u c her (wice n a week and who knows who she's seein wit the fuel you provide I am not insinuating poligamy is for everyone, but if the parties involved are honest and mature enough to handle it. It can be a beautiful experience. Iv a friend with a massive estate and each of the wives hande an aspect of the business, one legal, one marketing and the newest wife is the technical expert. They c each other as sisters. The children barely have issues and u can't tell who is mother to whome as they live in a commenal home. That's a prime example, but its because the hubby was honest and the wives are all loved and supported as in he develops them, and has family time with them, they are not competing and he is sitting bk enjoying his family. I asked if he will take another he says where is his time. His wives keep him busy. 2 can still bear children and the business is still growing. That's a man with vision, a wise man that chose compatible women to grow with him and build his future with. What man or woman wouldn't wan that. A home filled with peace, security and love
e

biolabee:

Wow you put it out there but this a potential powderkeg here
The cyber feminists are going to run riot

I do understand than men are naturally flirtatious but the truth is that economic realities have forced out having more than a wife
It is a very costly endeavour in addition to the inherent insecurities and in fighting FUJI HOUSE OF COMMOTION

The stress of having a polygamous house can be detrimental too emotionally if not well managed but in the case of an empowered woman it may work.. NOT SURE

Good of you to have visited round the country as part of your enlightenment

It is well

Its been 10 yrs dear. I'm learned to cope with it for the most part and hv had 2 relationshps since. 1 bk home n one here both Nigerian

biolabee:

my condolences...
May he rest in peace and may you have the fortitude to bear the loss

i see u uju

mzfelivisions: Am a very Atypical AA. Think its becuz of my Cherokee bkgrnd. Iv adopted Nigeria as my home so where in genetically tied here, I am spiritually planted and going no where! This is my home. I'm not a expat I'm a Nigerian by choice and I utilize my energy developing my country. I'm not saying I don't love America, but there is a sense of peace that I get only when here. A satisfaction I never had before. I love workin with the youth n women, they hv such passion. I am home and choose not to do a DnA test because I just want to be a Nigerian not an igbo, yoruba, uhrobo, hausa, tiv,fulani, itsikiri,I will b from where ever my hubby is from by Gods grace. Insha Allah. We are one Nigeria and we need to remember that. Its the only way forward.

so you're african american and you had the gall to denigrate nigerian men? wonders shall never end. are your men any better? in what way is the average african american better than the average nigerian man? literacy? drug use? alocholism? violence? infidelity? name one thing your menfolk have over nigerian men?

go back to your newark or bed-stuy if you think nigerian men are not good enough....

mzfelivisions: Your welcome.
Its clear. Men are visual and easily motivated. Pls let's call a spade a spade
Having a girlfriend is wayyyyy mor expensive than a wife, calculate dates, private time, entertainment, incidentals. Thoughthey r nominal amounts isolated when you add them up its costlier than what you invest in your household..
e

The man you referred to is a magnate and is a very wealthy fellow

an average person will not be able to maintain that kind of households thus bringin back the demerits of polygamy

Anyhow i appreciate your POV though it is a very diffeicult thing here in this part of the world

coogar:

so you're african american and you had the gall to denigrate nigerian men? wonders shall never end. are your men any better? in what way is the average african american better than the average nigerian man? literacy? drug use? alocholism? violence? infidelity? name one thing your menfolk have over nigerian men?

go back to your newark or bed-stuy if you think nigerian men are not good enough....

She stepped down later

I'm not sure if this comment is targeted at me, but I will reply as I can think of who else it me be referring to. Responding to posts is not seeking attention, I have a free day today and am using it to research in my bb and chat up a few friends. I feel its rude to not respond to a open post if I see it. I also see no harm in expressing my opinions as this is an open forum. No one here knows who I am and though there have been messages sent I don't choose to go further than expressing and sharing ideologies and ideas. I was under the impression that that's what this platform was for. If I was seeking attention I would have posted my email, my telephone or at least my name instead of speaking in anonymity. I'm just simple like that. I don't ask for tea if I really want tea with milk and sugar. Iv no problem with communication or communicating. Now if for some reason I'm not welcome here, perhaps because of my origins, ideologies or frankness I'm the last person to force myself on anyone. Bit if this I'd truely a platform for dialogue as iv seen it as for over 10 years then I don't understand these snide, and facetious comments( not referring specifically to you) I have been in love with Nigeria since I was 16 yrs old that how long iv known your country exhisted and unknowingly since I was 6 yrs old becuz that's when I met my best friend, and sister (as my mother never gave birth to one), I'm not here to seek anyones approval, or endorsement because my actions speak for me. I'm not afraid to share my ideologies because in the end iv no one but the Almighty to answer to. I try to always respect people but respect doesn't mean I won't say my truth. The truth is most often bitter, that bitterness makes it no less the truth though. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that iv no need to seek attention to be noticed, because I receive attention without trying and if my presence isn't welcome. No need to beat around the bush, just say it and I will fade into black.. As it seems I'm threatening some unseen heirarchy here

Ujujoan: ^ I can see you are trying so hard to be noticed. Just be patient and wait for your turn eh

You misinterpreted my text pls read from the beginning til the end its just 1 n a half pages. I was driving at a point. Ithink its unusual that instead of reading an entire thread, one will choose a single point and begin a tryade of insults. Thing must be taken in context. It makes me wonder. Is it because I stated I'm foriegn tht everyones soooo worked up? Either way, I'm quite enjoying it and will have so much to write later. BTW I'm not from NewYork. I'm from a tiny village, Google it its called Naperville Illinois and its been listed severally as the Best place to live in the US. Don't dare try n judge me by what you see on tele when you haven't even given me the benefit of reading my entire post. At least you owe yourself that much before saying what's out of place. You never know where you may meet people tomorrow

coogar:

so you're african american and you had the gall to denigrate nigerian men? wonders shall never end. are your men any better? in what way is the average african american better than the average nigerian man? literacy? drug use? alocholism? violence? infidelity? name one thing your menfolk have over nigerian men?

go back to your newark or bed-stuy if you think nigerian men are not good enough....

@ OP, i like ur guts and openness, most naija ladies я̲̣̥ fake, u̶̲̥̅̊ say as it is...keep it up.

mzfelivisions: You misinterpreted my text pls read from the beginning til the end its just 1 n a half pages. I was driving at a point. Ithink its unusual that instead of reading an entire thread, one will choose a single point and begin a tryade of insults. Thing must be taken in context. It makes me wonder. Is it because I stated I'm foriegn tht everyones soooo worked up? Either way, I'm quite enjoying it and will have so much to write later.

next time, endeavour to put your words together articulately. you don't come to a nigerian forum to denigrate nigerian men - it's insulting! no nigerian would go on black planet to insult african americans.

BTW I'm not from NewYork. I'm from a tiny village, Google it its called Naperville Illinois and its been listed severally as the Best place to live in the US. Don't dare try n judge me by what you see on tele when you haven't even given me the benefit of reading my entire post. At least you owe yourself that much before saying what's out of place. You never know where you may meet people tomorrow

i am not judging by what i see on the tube. i have been to america several times, i have got friends n family there. treat people with respect and the favour shall be returned. you expect me to give you a bunch of roses for saying nigerian men are drama queens? really? if you don't like their ways, look for male anglosaxons to date! leave us alone with our drama - our women are not complaining!

Actually he is not. He just lives comfortably within his means n his wifes r happy with their status. They too loans for their business to grow and they utilized their natural talents they also developed initiatives within their clime to support their business and the local people so they propogate the business and drive some aspects of it. He is innovative an open to new ideas and I assisted in developin on wat they had now girls r n school powered through them, but he's no where near a magnate he just realizes that business growth and development isn't about initial returns, other more vital areas tht hv been lost and forgotten

biolabee:

The man you referred to is a magnate and is a very wealthy fellow

an average person will not be able to maintain that kind of households thus bringin back the demerits of polygamy

Anyhow i appreciate your POV though it is a very diffeicult thing here in this part of the world




She stepped down later

R u sure, iv so many asking me to introduce them. You'd be suprised.. If given d chance and I'm not here for an grammar lesson I'm typin b bb you get my gist with or without spell check[ I didn't post in black planet and you are free to post what you like where you like it. There is freedom of speech I believe as long as I'm not brealking any rules I'm free to speak my mind and express my thoughts and will endeavour to do so. I also nvr asked how many times you've come or gone in anout of Niger or to where as its not my concern. I simple stated tht I'm not from those places you are naming as I stated please google my town dear. quote author=coogar]

next time, endeavour to put your words together articulately. you don't come to a nigerian forum to denigrate nigerian men - it's insulting! no nigerian would go on black planet to insult african americans.




i am not judging by what i see on the tube. i have been to america several times, i have got friends n family there. treat people with respect and the favour shall be returned. you expect me to give you a bunch of roses for saying nigerian men are drama queens? really? if you don't like their ways, look for male anglosaxons to date! leave us alone with our drama - our women are not complaining![/quote]

So,when you get or see that Nigerian man that fits your description,what are you bringing to the table
Unless you are mixing with the wrong crowd,you should have no problem getting an old politician that fits in.

mzfelivisions: R u sure, iv so many asking me to introduce them. You'd be suprised.. If given d chance and I'm not here for an grammar lesson I'm typin b bb you get my gist with or without spell check[ I didn't post in black planet and you are free to post what you like where you like it. There is freedom of speech I believe as long as I'm not brealking any rules I'm free to speak my mind and express my thoughts and will endeavour to do so. I also nvr asked how many times you've come or gone in anout of Niger or to where as its not my concern. I simple stated tht I'm not from those places you are naming as I stated please google my town dear.

i agree you have freedom of speech but do not abuse the privilege!

You say abuse, I say critique. The world is full of different perspectives. You cry out for transparency and accountability and yet you balk at honesty and can't accept criticism. There is a difference between constructive and destructive critisim. One is to build and the other is to destroy, malign, debase and detract from growth and development. With constructive criticism there is positive and negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement is a negative reaction given to inappropriate behavior to impact a positive behavior in future interactions. We as parents do it all the time with our children. But it works in y situation. If negative attention is drawn to negative behavior the feeling associated , discontent, offence, embarassment will most likely lead to a positive future behavior. Its difficult to handle sometimes but it creates consciousness thts where the concept of transparency and accountability comes from. The worl I'd a smmall place and becomming progressively smaller doe to global innovations. We interact daily with people with different backgrounds, ideologies, mores ,d motivators. If we want to grow we need to learn tolerance and assimilation. Me must be willing to at least tolerate others perception no matter how different. I never came here to be malicious or denigrate Nigerians becuz I'm in love with Nigeria and hv adopted her as my home, but tht in no way implies that loyalty an love means I should blind myself from certain truths tht I. Feel should be adressed and that are possible to change because thts called development. The only thing consistant in life is change and suprisingly its what we r most resistant to. Enough of my preaching tonight unless u decide to post again of course. Again I'm intrigued. Thnx for giving me more to digest

coogar:

i agree you have freedom of speech but do not abuse the privilege!

mzfelivisions: Actually he is not. He just lives comfortably within his means n his wifes r happy with their status. They too loans for their business to grow and they utilized their natural talents they also developed initiatives within their clime to support their business and the local people so they propogate the business and drive some aspects of it. He is innovative an open to new ideas and I assisted in developin on wat they had now girls r n school powered through them, but he's no where near a magnate he just realizes that business growth and development isn't about initial returns, other more vital areas tht hv been lost and forgotten

That is interesting - the mans life

Well I'm an old woman too. Well over 40. Iv so much to bring, most my passion an vision. My dedication n loyalty, my business acumen and discipline. Sori I will not lie n say I'm gonna pound his yam naked behind the kitchen as he watches. I'm not going to wash his clothes. But I will run my home efficiently and he will see growth in his vineyards if he's open to new ideas. If not I will continue with my work, be a gud wife, loyal n faithful n raise my family.

ifyalways: So,when you get or see that Nigerian man that fits your description,what are you bringing to the table
Unless you are mixing with the wrong crowd,you should have no problem getting an old politician that fits in.

biolabee:

CC is a female and she is happy with her NAIJA man, ur point being wat exactly

that because u had one or two bad experiences with naija men
all naija men are evil

Im sure one naija man(men) is saying the same abt u

ehennn,are you serious...mshewwwww,oshisko

If Nigerian men are difficult to understand I am sure there are over 200 other countries you can try their men

kulyie: ehennn,are you serious...mshewwwww,oshisko

Oshisko to u 2

Interesting as I never really knew that about the poster.

I believe that also as I have been shown bad and good by nija women too but I will not say they are bad

To each his/her own

mzfelivisions: He died, thts wat makes me a widow.

I'[m sorry . . I guess I missed that. My condolences.
Still you've got to admit that you do sound like the perfect woman, men should be falling all around you like flies na . . . even Nigerian men wey too like better thing!
Except there's errrm something you are NOT telling!

mzfelivisions: Well I'm an old woman too. Well over 40. Iv so much to bring, most my passion an vision. My dedication n loyalty, my business acumen and discipline. Sori I will not lie n say I'm gonna pound his yam naked behind the kitchen as he watches. I'm not going to wash his clothes. But I will run my home efficiently and he will see growth in his vineyards if he's open to new ideas. If not I will continue with my work, be a gud wife, loyal n faithful n raise my family.

Ohhhh now ur talking . . . .
You are right on one thing, you really are a realist!
A widowed mother at over 40 can only be a second wife in Nigeria.
I'm sure when you were in your early 20s and full of life, you didn't think "men were polygamous because they can procreate till death" . . . _{or some crap you wrote earlier!}

mzfelivisions: I'm not sure if this comment is targeted at me, but I will reply as I can think of who else it me be referring to. Responding to posts is not seeking attention, I have a free day today and am using it to research in my bb and chat up a few friends. I feel its rude to not respond to a open post if I see it. I also see no harm in expressing my opinions as this is an open forum. No one here knows who I am and though there have been messages sent I don't choose to go further than expressing and sharing ideologies and ideas. I was under the impression that that's what this platform was for. If I was seeking attention I would have posted my email, my telephone or at least my name instead of speaking in anonymity. I'm just simple like that. I don't ask for tea if I really want tea with milk and sugar. Iv no problem with communication or communicating. Now if for some reason I'm not welcome here, perhaps because of my origins, ideologies or frankness I'm the last person to force myself on anyone. Bit if this I'd truely a platform for dialogue as iv seen it as for over 10 years then I don't understand these snide, and facetious comments( not referring specifically to you) I have been in love with Nigeria since I was 16 yrs old that how long iv known your country exhisted and unknowingly since I was 6 yrs old becuz that's when I met my best friend, and sister (as my mother never gave birth to one), I'm not here to seek anyones approval, or endorsement because my actions speak for me. I'm not afraid to share my ideologies because in the end iv no one but the Almighty to answer to. I try to always respect people but respect doesn't mean I won't say my truth. The truth is most often bitter, that bitterness makes it no less the truth though. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that iv no need to seek attention to be noticed, because I receive attention without trying and if my presence isn't welcome. No need to beat around the bush, just say it and I will fade into black.. As it seems I'm threatening some unseen heirarchy here

Nice epistle . . . but I was referring to Biolabee . . .

biolabee:

my condolences...
May he rest in peace and may you have the fortitude to bear the loss

i see u uju