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Conflict Resolution In Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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Marital Conflict - What Do You Suggest? / How Open Should One Be In Marriage? / What Is The Biggest Source Of Conflict In Your Relationship (2) (3) (4)

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Conflict Resolution In Marriage by igbonla(m): 8:16am On Mar 04, 2013
I encountered a couple in the midst of a fight, the level of anger was beyond comprehension and I had never witnessed such before. The wife never stopped "caning" the guy with words and boy, was the guy upset? The wife wouldn't stop even when we practically dragged her into another room pleading with her to stop..we let her go when we could not handle it anymore, she went into their room and the husband followed; then we started hearing the shout of "don't beat me oh". I knew straightaway the guy has been "Tysoning" the wife long before then!

The incident took the wind out of my sail since we were family friends and I felt we could have helped further. I can barely hurt a fly; Indeed, I threw away the knife and the chicken the last time I tried to slaughter one. I would rather let the woman shout herself hoarse and crack her voice than reacting but this may not work for everybody.

Judging my friend with my standard is not the solution but my question is how do you counsel a guy when the wife keeps abusing him? Or how do you handle the two of them to resolve the crisis? I still feel that we didn't do enough managing that situation and today they have gone from worse to terribly worse!

Just read about the Ibadan man that shot the wife in the buttocks, don't know if it was a mistake as the man claimed but that is another example of horrible things that can happen when women "cane" their husbands with words as mentioned in the article.

How can issues like this be dealt with so there can be peace?
Re: Conflict Resolution In Marriage by biolabee(m): 9:31am On Mar 04, 2013
The first thing I will say is MYOB
Their marital life is their biz
If an abused party or parties does not know what to do and take ownership of their own affairs there is really nothing you should do

However since you are family friends and feel obligated to be involved,

The first point of call is to call the parents of the man or a pastor/imam/mentor to talk to the man and find out what is going on.

The person shd be a discreet fellow and someone who is experienced in this maTters.
You can help facilitate this

He is the head of his house hold and he need to ascertain his OWN vision for his family

Tragic but he has to take the lead
Re: Conflict Resolution In Marriage by igbonla(m): 7:36pm On Mar 17, 2013
I don't put my nose in other folks affair, actually wished I didn't witness this. These are family friends and I was there when the fight broke out, being a witness put me in a position to do something. The other part of your advice is a bit tough for me, I don't think it is right for me to go talk to the guy's parent or pastor. My focus is on talking to the guy myself and seeking for ways to handle it.

Thanks all the same.

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