Pls fellow nairalander I need ur help just discover dat am pregnant and my fiance is saying I must abort it.pls help me am confused

how old is your fiancé and how old are you?

He is 31 and am 25

emerald1: He is 31 and am 25

is he employed? is he settled?
is he ready to be a father? what was the agreement before the sex? is he allergic to condoms?

Boyfriend does not equal fiancee. Just saying . Has he oficially proposed to you? . You got a ring? A wedding date

baby_123: Boyfriend does not equal fiancee. Just saying . Has he oficially proposed to you? . You got a ring? A wedding date

nigerian women don't have sėx until they have been proposed to. our women are the most decent on the planet. he's her fiancé!

What type of help do you really need from NLanders, maybe, if you are specific, then, we shall start from there.
May God help us all.

coogar:

nigerian women don't have sėx until they have been proposed to. our women are the most decent on the planet. he's her fiancé!

Lmao! I know even you had a hard time putting this together.

OP has probably been deceived or is deceiving herself. Desperately looking for marriage and believing empty promises. Empty promises and lies that led to this predicament.

OP, what you will do is a decision for you to make. Assess your life and make the best decision for you, and your future. The guy has already told you he doesn't want you or the baby. So he has made his mind known. Don't think the baby will change his mind or make him marry you.

Next time, don't put the cart before the horse and believe promises that can only lead to one destination :your punny. This guy has done you jibiti. Plain and simple.

baby_123:

Next time, don't put the cart before the horse and believe promises that can only lead to one destination :your punny. This guy has done you jibiti. Plain and simple.

More importantly use protection

OP So how far gone are you
If he does not marry you, do you have the wherewithal to raise a child on your own

baby_123: Boyfriend does not equal fiancee. Just saying . Has he oficially proposed to you? . You got a ring? A wedding date

Lol that is the new talk now for single girls.Bf automatically becomes fiancee.funny enough I actually met a girl who talks about 5 different fiancee.one in amsterdam,S A,Lagos...@ poster if you are not ready to be a single mum in this our harsh economy go for a proper D&C.next time use cd's and don't force anyone into commitments.have some self worth.

there is no need crying ova spilled milk.
you have three choices here:
~ abort the baby (with a qualified doctor)
~ become a single mum
~ give the child up for adoption.

bottom line, u are alone. u cant make a man that isnt ready to marry u, to do so just because u are pregnant. just make a decision and stick to it.
its your life - your decision

You better abort it and remember to close your leg next time or insist on condom

dayokanu: You better abort it and remember to close your leg next time or insist on condom

You just committed second degree murder smh!
The image below says it all.

You called him your fiancee not your boyfriend so what is he afraid of??are you 2 not planning to get married?what is his financial status? Am not a fan of abortion so I don't encourage it. As a person what do you want for yourself?

Brand_new:
You just committed second degree murder smh!
The image below says it all.

Dude this is unnecessary

Brand_new:
You just committed second degree murder smh!
The image below says it all.

abortion is not murder...... stop misinforming the public.

coogar:

abortion is not murder...... stop misinforming the public.

The fact that you carry it in your womb doesn't give you the right to end it except by accident.

So what do you call it when you terminate and abruptly end a helpless baby's life?

Brand_new:
The fact that you carry it in your womb doesn't give you the right to end it except by accident.

So what do you call it when you terminate and abruptly end a helpless baby's life?

murder = unlawful killing of a human by another human with malice aforethought.

a foetus is not a human being. life begins when a foetus passes through the birth canal and takes it's first breath. the 5 elements in my definition have to be satisfied before any incident can qualify as murder.

1) unlawful
2) killing
3) of a human being
4) by another human being
5) with malice afterthought.

in this case, number 3 isn't satisfied cos a foetus is not a person.

that is the difference between a boy and a man.
sorry, you finance is behaving like a boy.
a man takes up challenges and solve it irregardless of his priority.

i think the problem here should be finance and how both of you will join hands to solve it.

besides, how could he just abort his first child? this should be boys thinking and at his age. i dey fear.....

Brand_new:
The fact that you carry it in your womb doesn't give you the right to end it except by accident.

So what do you call it when you terminate and abruptly end a helpless baby's life?

discontinuation.

kunle_j: that is the difference between a boy and a man.
sorry, you finance is behaving like a boy.
a man takes up challenges and solve it irregardless of his priority.

i think the problem here should be finance and how both of you will join hands to solve it.

besides, how could he just abort his first child? this should be boys thinking and at his age. i dey fear.....

All these bravado means nothing if the guy isnt prepared for a baby. if the guy doesnt have a job or finances to care for the baby should she still go ahead and have it for who to care for?

Would you provide money for them to care for the baby or should she have it and dump it on the roadside like people normally do?

dayokanu:

All these bravado means nothing if the guy isnt prepared for a baby. if the guy doesnt have a job or finances to care for the baby should she still go ahead and have it for who to care for?

Would you provide money for them to care for the baby or should she have it and dump it on the roadside like people normally do?

There are orphanages everywhere.

@op, let's be real. He is telling you to kill the baby. why should you be confused about that?

ABORTION IS MURDER!!

.

People just don't know how much a blessing babies are. I see no reason that is good enough to abort a pregnancy.
Besides it's simply stupid not to take precautions when you know you're not ready for the responsibilities a pregnancy would bring.

I never have 6ex without condoms. Ladies also have other options even if their partners refuse to use condoms.
There one thing to be young and naïve, being plain stup*d is another. Either way, none warrants the murder of a child.

.

Brand_new:
You just committed second degree murder smh!
The image below says it all.

You can post all the pictures you want. The fact of the matter is are you going to contribute a kobo to the child when it is born? Can you marry a signle mother? If you know you are not going to help her take care of the child, stop trying to make a decision for her by postining unpalatable pictures. Not everyone wants to give birth and giveaway the child for it to become an agbero or a houseboy/house girl in the future. Neither can they take care of a child financially and emotionally. When you shout against something, be prepared to proffer a solution. If you cant give this lady money for 25years of childcare, then i suggest you keep your picture. We have seen enough child abuse and abandonment on this side of the forum, so your pictures dont really do much.

@baby123, If she's handicapped and not emotionally stable to raise the child, then she can PM me and I'll be glad to take partial care of his education till secondary level.
If she's not, then she can still get lots of support and goodwill from me.
You can hold me to every bit of my word as long as I'm saving that child's life.

Brand_new: @baby123, If she's handicapped and not emotionally stable to raise the child, then she can PM me and I'll be glad to take partial care of his education till secondary level.
If she's not, then she can still get lots of support and goodwill from me.
You can hold me to every bit of my word as long as I'm saving that child's life.

If you can sign to an affidavit to take care of the baby, and meet your lawyer to include the child in your will in case anything happens to you so your family wont kick her out. Until then we can talk

No use encouraging her to take care of it when she doesnt have the wherewithal and tomorrow dump her by roadside

Also there is a stigma attached to unmarried mothers in Nigeria, maybe you can just help the OP and marry her so she wont face that stigma and you raise the baby also.

@Dayokanu OP knows better. Bottom line is she and her partner are old enough to take responsibilities for her actions.
As per your recommendations, I'm not looking for a wife now and I know single mothers who are doing great.

Brand_new: @baby123, If she's handicapped and not emotionally stable to raise the child, then she can PM me and I'll be glad to take partial care of his education till secondary level.
If she's not, then she can still get lots of support and goodwill from me.
You can hold me to every bit of my word as long as I'm saving that child's life.

You are telling her to keep a child and giving conditions when asked to proffer your solution. Obviously you know the likelihood of her being handicapped or emotionally unstable is slim. So you stylishly put that there. In a country where smart graduates have worn out their shoes looking for work. You are telling her to keep a baby, screaming murder. They ask you to contribute, you add conditions to it which will exempt you from taking responsibility. In this, how are you different from the baby father? What kind of job do you think she can get? This one that is most likely in school. Or you are advising her to hand over the responsibility of raising her child to her parents. How are you sure they can take care of the child? When the next child comes nko? Hand it over as well abi? Like i said, since you are advising her to keep the child against all costs, take care of it. Dont add any conditions, give it the fatherly love and care any child deserves. Any child brought into this world deserves all that at the minimum.