But the guy try sha... SIX MONTHS??

Who has that bloody time??!!

kimberluge: Either d guy too fine n she could not resist his looks or she wanted some cash,afterall dat is wat most 9ja gals believe weneva dey see yankee guy! Jst saying!!

Did you read the write up at all before commenting? She didn't know he was based outside of the country the first time she laid eyes on him and fell for him.................not all girls fall for a guy with money you know.

ur girl shud ditch shame in dis matter o! because shame is dis guy's trump card. A woman wt shamelessness wud embarrass dat player till he quit d job to avoid her. The guy led her on. She shd definitely resign to avoid seeing him evryday. But b4 then she shud turn increasingly shoddier wrk, till d boss calls her attntion on it (hopefully), then she turn on the tears and wail abt how she has bcme an emotional wreck after the boss's gud friend used and abused her and ignored her. Wht kinda predators does d boss keep as friends , she shd ask. At least tht shd get d boss accostg his friend, xcpt the boss na player too. After dat she shd resigns and quits.

kambo: ur girl shud ditch shame in dis matter o! because shame is dis guy's trump card. A woman wt shamelessness wud embarrass dat player till he quit d job to avoid her. The guy led her on. She shd definitely resign to avoid seeing him evryday. But b4 then she shud turn increasingly shoddier wrk, till d boss calls her attntion on it (hopefully), then she turn on the tears and wail abt how she has bcme an emotional wreck after the boss's gud friend used and abused her and ignored her. Wht kinda predators does d boss keep as friends , she shd ask. At least tht shd get d boss accostg his friend, xcpt the boss na player too. After dat she shd resigns and quits.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this would take lot of guts to carry out.

@ OP

Why do I think you are the one.

it wud make interestg reminiscg. Dis guy 4ckd wth her ANd counts on her actg typical - whine, regret, weep privately but do nothg- well, ur girl is actg predctably. Predctably because of Shame. The guy is circulatg gist wt his friends of how he conned one easy 9ja babe made her think he's head ovr heels till she opend her legs for him. Thyre laffn and calln ur timid reservd friend a cheap bi.tch. Do d unexpected, may get fired but keep ur dignity. It's nt hrd. A white girl/afro amercan will do it. Keep ur dgnity girl scru d shame. Or walk up to him with scalding hot tea/coffee spill it on him and dig ur sharp nails into his face while calling him all kinds of unprintable names. People will come to separate u 2 but he's gonna feel like a j.erk (i tell u his image will b ruined) and when people ask y u acting so un-lady like u can just sob uncontrollably and say nthg (thy'll get tired and leave) or u spill d beans in private. U'll lose d job but man u'd hve attoned for d regret. Sorry, girl theyre too many men using women like sh:it all cuz d women won't cry out but stay docile timid and cowed. Go 4 it . U'll b laffg abt it a year frm now with ur friends and glad u took d bold move. Cheers on d other hand bth u and him may keep up ur civil charade while u burn wt shame and hurt.

WackyJ1: So why shouldn't i call her cheap, was it not just 6 months of online dating it took?

Whatever man ......... don't just lead a woman that on and leave her dry. the law of karma still works.

If her agony is abt loosing d man, its more understandable because may be she is thinking of 'a happy ever after'. Bt talking abt shame, she has nothing 2 be ashamed of afterall, both of them saw each others unclothedness. Pls dnt resign ur job because of one stupid man. Wheneva ur paths cross, be d first 2 look tru him, do ur work deligently and dnt entertain any rubbish 4rm anybdy because of wot happened, ur nt d first 2 sleep wit a man. And make sure 2 reject any luv advances coming frm dat quarter.

Tell u wat? A guy in dis instance dumps a girl most times for physical reasons- which for most times far outweigh d psychological reasons he initially bonded wit her- he must have been put off by sumthing. Maybe her punny smelled so much(so many nice sweet looking girls u see about smell under der). It could be she has stretch marks( something so simple can make a guy back off) maybe the body without d clothes was all flab, and it nauseated him(a lot of women only look fabulous becos their body is inside clothes) or sumthing else like dat. Am sure dat girl didn't osay anythin to offend the loverboy. Am sure its no much for wat she did or said or didn't do- am sure its sumthing sahe had no control over...

i.HOT:
Someone narrated a story today similar to the one I am about to tell and the story gave me the confidence share to this heartbreaking story of a friend.(it is real).

She met this guy in an interview she attended last year as the guy was one of the interviewer,(she got the job),after the interview,it took her months to resume at her new place but throughout the waiting period,her thoughts were on the guy,she couldn't wait to set eyes on him when she resumes, to her it was love at first sight.

two weeks prior to her resumption day, she got an email from a stranger,asking if its alright for him to call her,she told the stranger it was, hence she discovered it was the guy she has been silently pining for and NO he doesn't work with the company where she just got a job rather he's based outside of the country.

there began their love journey(on her part though), they got talking,mails were flying,he is very intelligent,knows something on almost every topic,she being intelligent herself fell deeper and deeper in love with him. sex never came up all the time but they do talk about it and flirted a lot via Skype,phone calls and emails, she told him everything about herself and family(she never does that as she is a very private person).everything was going smoothly,she was so much in love thinking God has finally brought the ideal man. the communication continued even after she resumed work..............ooh!did i mention he does freelance jobs for he new company? hence her meeting him there?.

Second week of January he came back into the country,from the airport he started calling her that night,she was happy because she spent the whole of that day day dreaming about his coming home. the next day she visited him and was happy and he looked happy to see her too. there was outing, gisting...........of course love making(they have been communicating for up to 6 months) ,so don't judge her by calling her cheap, there was also a second date.

After the second date, everything went haywire! the calls, mails all stopped instantly. in fact he deleted her from Skype!he also stopped picking her calls and replying her mails, in fact he yelled at her when she tried knowing what went wrong. THE MAJOR issue here is that she always almost see him on a daily basis and that hurts more than not seeing him at all,she still loves him,it is distracting seeing him almost everyday.............what hurts the most is that he looks right through her as if she doesn't exist..............she told me she wanna resign from her work for her peace of mind but i said NO as the guy will probably leave soon, did I give her the right advise? She is not yet registered on nairaland but she is following closely on this topic to take the best advise.

Matured advise,Please don't hurt her more.

It seems your friend is naive about somethings. She should just learn from the experience.

The advice i have for her concerning job resignation is that she should take part of her annual leave to mend and return emotionally stronger or if after the leave she still feels like that, then she can resign. But in my opinion, resignation is a sign of cowardice and weakness. And boosting the warped ego of the m.oron.

kimberluge: Either d guy too fine n she could not resist his looks or she wanted some cash,afterall dat is wat most 9ja gals believe weneva dey see yankee guy! Jst saying!!

How do you sleep at night when you reason this way #justasking

I think she must have done or said something. If she was to be used and dumped I doubt there would have been a second date. She needs to reflect on the second date. Did she do anything? It would amaze you the little things that turn people off.

Also she should make sure someone hasn't said something about her to the guy. Its a small world you know.

poshdiva: I think she must have done or said something. If she was to be used and dumped I doubt there would have been a second date. She needs to reflect on the second date. Did she do anything? It would amaze you the little things that turn people off.

Also she should make sure someone hasn't said something about her to the guy. Its a small world you know.

Dude wanted to sample her thoroughly, hence 2nd date! Fact is, that guy has someone else, Op's friend (abi na OP sef wey she dey pretend) was simply a passing fancy.

There are obvious reasons for this srange change
- His marital status...very many guys that claim to be single are not actually single they have dual accounts on facebook,skype etc,i feel dis guy is married
- He wants to regain his proffessional respect...Office romance usualy undermine the reputation of d boss or his friends,so he might not even want his friend(her boss) to know how far
-The babe was too emotional towards him...guess dis will do

youngalex: There are obvious reasons for this srange change
- His marital status...very many guys that claim to be single are not actually single they have dual accounts on facebook,skype etc,i feel dis guy is married
- He wants to regain his proffessional respect...Office romance usualy undermine the reputation of d boss or his friends,so he might not even want his friend(her boss) to know how far
-The babe was too emotional towards him...guess dis will do

Ur 2nd reason does not apply if the love is genuine. Even the 3rd one can't explain such cold behaviour.

@ Causewahala...people love differently,u don't expect him to be showing her face in an office setting or her colleagues knowing they were dating,d only mistake the guy made is at least he wld have given her reasons b4 the sudden change...for me before i break up i give u valid reasons so that you won't see me as a heart breaker

youngalex: @ Causewahala...people love differently,u don't expect him to be showing her face in an office setting or her colleagues knowing they were dating,d only mistake the guy made is at least he wld have given her reasons b4 the sudden change...for me before i break up i give u valid reasons so that you won't see me as a heart breaker

People can equally love discreetly, the guy not giving her reason reinforce the claim that he had sinister motives from the onset.

tpia@:
happens all the time, you like a guy, hop into bed with him, then he vanishes and deletes you from his skype.

but not without informing anyone who cares to know, that he got the goodies.

its a tough world, some people have an upper hand especially when it comes to casual sex.


ladies, keep your legs closed as much as you humanly can, konji does not kill anyone. never has, never will.

as long as you're not dealing with a criminal character with a warped mentality, nothing wrong with holding body.

fake thread, also, imo.

tilapia, you don say :-P

What your friend needs is closure, she should pick her courage ,call the man or set up a date with him in a public place and ask him to explain to her what happened , so that she can move on.she should look him in the eyes and say boo ,i thought we have something beautiful going on,these days you look at me as a total stranger,what is wrong? Is it something i did or you heard ? Set my heart at peace. The guy will definitely have something to say , if not then ,may be later on. There is no need to suffer in silence. Confront the guy privately.

the next day she visited him... of course love making (they have been communicating for upl to 6 months) ,so don't judge her by calling her cheap [/quote]


On the first date? I think she's cheap, prolly worth 20 pence!

shalomp: If her agony is abt loosing d man, its more understandable because may be she is thinking of 'a happy ever after'. Bt talking abt shame, she has nothing 2 be ashamed of afterall, both of them saw each others unclothedness. Pls dnt resign ur job because of one stupid man. Wheneva ur paths cross, be d first 2 look tru him, do ur work deligently and dnt entertain any rubbish 4rm anybdy because of wot happened, ur nt d first 2 sleep wit a man. And make sure 2 reject any luv advances coming frm dat quarter.

.

She still loves this dude..........its not just the shame alone.

Move on my dear and thank God its not too late. Being strong is part of being a lady. Ignore him and pretend u are happy cos honestly its not easy. Pls dnt resign its not easy to get a job.

sexyzeeno: Move on my dear and thank God its not too late. Being strong is part of being a lady. Ignore him and pretend u are happy cos honestly its not easy. Pls dnt resign its not easy to get a job.

SexyZeeno, you have said it all..........moving forward!!! but i would say easier said than done. moving forward is okay but we all know how hard it is to move on when we love the other person. She would always ask her self the question "what went wrong"?............the dude is just a coward.........no gentleman does that to a lady.i know reasons are not usually given before hearts are broken but come on dears,from the Op description of this dude he seems like an intelligent man,caring and understanding but hey!!!!!!!!! we just found out he was pretending......oops sorry OP he has the problem not you. try to move on like sexyZeeno suggested but don't expect it to be easy.