Am in love with this hausa (Borno) christian guy and am ibo (Anambra)by tribe and a christian too. This guy luvs me 2,a gud husband material,God-fearing,has focus in life,loving......any gud attributes u can fnk of though not 100% gud. I don't knw if my people will approve of him. Am damn confused dat I don't knw wat 2 do. Can tribe b a barrier 2 ones marriage? Pls put urself in ma shoes n advice me on wat 2 do

You should know the answer to that by now which is yes
You probably need to get your mind ready for a great battle and your bf should also know that your wedding is not going down without a fight

I will advise you to date him for at least 18 months and be sure it is what you want

Note*** If your below 24, disregard my advise, as your parents know best

I don't think tribe should be a barrier in getting married the issue here is do u know what u want ? Are you willing and ready to settle down with this person without bias ? Will your family accept him ? If your answer is yes. Then go ahead .

People will soon start rushing down here and tell you not to let tribe be a barrier but the truth is that its the right thng and what should be done; but how easy is it?
No good thing comes easy but you have to weigh the pros and cons... If it will threaten your relationship with your family forever and you don't want that, try to move on, another will come but if its somethng that will just cause a quarrel that will be settled after sometime, then he is worth the risk if he is as good as you say.

sweet-tease:
People will soon start rushing down here and tell you not to let tribe be a barrier but the truth is that its the right thng and what should be done; but how easy is it?
No good thing comes easy but you have to weigh the pros and cons... If it will threaten your relationship with your family forever and you don't want that, try to move on, another will come but if its somethng that will just cause a quarrel that will be settled after sometime, then he is worth the risk if he is as good as you say.

It is so easy to give this kind of advice when you are not experiencing something similar.

Love does not have a tribe so long i am concern. if truly you love him from your heart, you don't need to worry un-behalf of your family but why not take a giant step and take him to your people first before bombing yourself with unethical worry.

There will always be differences when two people decide to get together - you need to decide what you can live with. The fact that you two come from different cultures goes beyond speaking different languages, it means you have to learn and adjust to his (peoples) ways of doing things. That's not so hard to do, if you really love him you will.

Also ask yourself if you can deal with the political, religious, socio-cultural climate in the north. You may not reside there but...being a northerner and a Christian isn't an enviable predicament to be in.

Thankfully, we are becoming more open minded regarding inter-tribal marriages but our parents need time to be won over. If you are 100% about this relationship then go ahead and allow him meet your folks. I imagine you will meet resistance at the start but give them time to see what you see.

You've come to the bridge - cross it!. Sooner is better.

Only you has an answer to your question @op.........has anyone in your family had an inter-tribal wedding before?.......if yes, what was your parents reactions to it.

Yomii:
It is so easy to give this kind of advice when you are not experiencing something similar.

The easy advice to give here is the don't let tribe be a barrier. Am even running from a controversial love in my life right now. As much as he fits into wat i want, am letting go. So the fact that i didn't open a thread bout it doesn't mean hav not had my share of controversial love.

annfeliks: Am in love with this hausa (Borno) christian guy and am ibo (Anambra)by tribe and a christian too. This guy luvs me 2,a gud husband material,God-fearing,has focus in life,loving......any gud attributes u can fnk of though not 100% gud. I don't knw if my people will approve of him. Am damn confused dat I don't knw wat 2 do. Can tribe b a barrier 2 ones marriage? Pls put urself in ma shoes n advice me on wat 2 do

Are u ready to go to Borno state with him? My dear, u need to consider the culture and tradition of the man u will forever live with. If his tradition contradicts that of yours then the two families may be at war over little issues. Even if u choose to marry him will ur family approve the marriage? Be wise.




Besides, na Boko haram state sef

10x peeps I love ur pieces of advice. U really hv encouraged me 2 move on wf him cos most of my people know him except d father of d house n we hv both planned 2 face wateva war. I bliv we wil win if God's willing. Am really loving ds forum

Certainly you can go ahead. That is no longer a barrier. My husband and I come from different tribes and have different religions but it has never been much of an issue.
Good luck.

mutter: Certainly you can go ahead. That is no longer a barrier. My husband and I come from different tribes and have different religions but it has never been much of an issue.
Good luck.

10k u luv bt wat were d challenges u faced.D Lord s our strenght

Nne, as long as you both will not settle down in Maiduguri, then no problem.

use tnk instead of 10k for "thank" . It's more readable dan tht messy short cut of urs. Follw ur heart. If thngs go bad , hopefully, NL/romance , will still b around to dish out spontaneous, as-fast-u-can-type advice..

annfeliks: Am in love with this hausa (Borno) christian guy and am ibo (Anambra)by tribe and a christian too. This guy luvs me 2,a gud husband material,God-fearing,has focus in life,loving......any gud attributes u can fnk of though not 100% gud. I don't knw if my people will approve of him. Am damn confused dat I don't knw wat 2 do. Can tribe b a barrier 2 ones marriage? Pls put urself in ma shoes n advice me on wat 2 do

The average marriage in Nigeria is a lot more than just two people being involved. Families are brought together and if either one is not tolerant of the others views then you are in for a long tough ride. The first thing you have to do is prepare your mind for the worst case scenario, then you would also know what your threshold is and then tell your family. It might take them time to agree to it but if ultimately they sense you know what you want to do (better grab as much knowledge as you can from him about his people their ways etc etc) they would give in. I wish you the best, but please think of it with your head.

am waitin for ma ibo bro to inflate dis tread,then u we be needing tissue to clean u tears.

you get blacks marrying whites, you get Ghananians marrying congolese. Honey tribe means nothing as long as both of you have an understanding about where you want the future to take you

u r scared of wat ur family will think, my dear tribe IS already a barrier in ur case.... but dat doesn't mean u cant surmount it

be sure, i mean really sure dat he is d one. bcz if tins ever go wrong after u marry him, u ll hear alot of ' i told u' and den u ll think ' had i known'

make up ur mind den convince ur family but make sure u marry him with der blessing, its important.
all d best.

Romeo And Juliet things.*smiles* six yrs going babe, loving almost every moment. Love conquers all.

kambo: use tnk instead of 10k for "thank" . It's more readable dan tht messy short cut of urs. Follw ur heart. If thngs go bad , hopefully, NL/romance , will still b around to dish out spontaneous, as-fast-u-can-type advice..

am so used 2 10k n I guess we r nt restricted to any shortcut here in NL.anyways thank u 4 d advice

Chrisbenogor:
The average marriage in Nigeria is a lot more than just two people being involved. Families are brought together and if either one is not tolerant of the others views then you are in for a long tough ride. The first thing you have to do is prepare your mind for the worst case scenario, then you would also know what your threshold is and then tell your family. It might take them time to agree to it but if ultimately they sense you know what you want to do (better grab as much knowledge as you can from him about his people their ways etc etc) they would give in. I wish you the best, but please think of it with your head.

thank u dear

hardniola: am waitin for ma ibo bro to inflate dis tread,then u we be needing tissue to clean u tears.

I don't undstand u pls kowaciate

Ijeoma Okeke100: you get blacks marrying whites, you get Ghananians marrying congolese. Honey tribe means nothing as long as both of you have an understanding about where you want the future to take you

Waw!!!!!! My dear I luv ds ur words of encouragement. Thanks a bunch

gree-die:
u r scared of wat ur family will think, my dear tribe IS already a barrier in ur case.... but dat doesn't mean u cant surmount it

be sure, i mean really sure dat he is d one. bcz if tins ever go wrong after u marry him, u ll hear alot of ' i told u' and den u ll think ' had i known'

make up ur mind den convince ur family but make sure u marry him with der blessing, its important.
all d best.

Thanks a million my dear. God wil c us tru if its His willing