I got married in 2006. A year later in 2007, my husband relocated to the US. The plan was for him to settle there and then bring me and our only son to join him. It's been six long years and he has been giving us excuses upon excuses. He confessed that he married a white woman there but only to get his papers but I later found out he was living with this woman. When I called him a few months ago I heard a child crying at the background, so I'm suspecting they also have a child together though he says the child is the lady's child and not his. I don't believe him.

I have no way of finding out the truth because I have no one in the US to help me investigate. He has only returned home once since he traveled and this was in 2010. I feel like I'm wasting my life waiting for him especially now that I met someone else who wants to marry me. I'm not divorced from my husband so marrying another man would be illegal. When I suggested divorce to my husband he flipped and told me to give him more time that he will come home as soon as he's stable there. I'm tired of waiting. I need a man in my life. Can I remarry because I think my husband is also married.




http://lindaikeji.mobi/output.php?postid=2651879297741563192&date=2013-04-21%2015:25:24

well... u guys ve been living apart for more dan 3yrs, dats a ground for divorce. if he contracted a statutory marriage wit her as he did wit u, dats another ground.
he has refused to come back home, isn't dat desertion? yet another ground....

i don't know if wat u have is a marriage, ordinarily i do not support divorce but if ur hrt is not in it anymore and u ve someone u want to build a home wit, tell ur hubby to give u a divorce, better still drop d bride price he paid at a court wit competent jurisdiction if he refuses to play ball and move on.

or.... if u still want ur marriage, drag ur azz to d US and find out for urslf wat da fuq is happening.

.if I can understand you.....
Your supposed husband is married and he told you and you were not worried or raised any objection, he now tells you to remain unmarried whilst still married...nigerian women na wa O!

sakaguchi: .if I can understand you.....
Your supposed husband is married and he told you and you were not worried or raised any objection, he now tells you to remain unmarried whilst still married...nigerian women na wa O!

according to d story,he told her he got married to d lady just to get his papers

@OP
the guy left with the purpose of getting this lady to join him later, now he says she should give him time so he can COME BACK?! was this not about THE LADY going there?! when did the plan change?! and was she informed?

if the lady is serious when saying that she is tired of waiting, then whatever this man says shouldnt matter.

I hope the new man is a good one. Since your husband has remarried whether to get papers or whatever you better move on.

I believe in patience, endurance and faithfulness to the ones we love. All these naturally or forcefully fall apart when we find out that we are dealing with very dishonest partners.

Given that it takes about 10 years or more to gain citizenship through marriage shows the possiblity that he truely loves you and still wants to bring you and your son over.

There's also a possibility that he may have children and fallen in love with the 'paper' woman.

Make friends on social network around where he lives. After sometime, ask them to do a little background check for you.

Whatever your findings are, waiting for a 'married' husband since 2006 is life draining!

MRbrownJAY: @OP
the guy left with the purpose of getting this lady to join him later, now he says she should give him time so he can COME BACK?! was this not about THE LADY going there?! when did the plan change?! and was she informed?

if the lady is serious when saying that she is tired of waiting, then whatever this man says shouldnt matter.

I think he meant coming back home,so they can all go back together

from what i think, now he's got the papers but the dude is finding it tough to escape the white lady, i bet he's in a deep contemplation now as i sence he thinks abou his nigerian wife.

@op, this one pass my 1 doller

Sparkle1: I think he meant coming back home,so they can all go back together

why the need to go back home?! isnt a plane ticket and visa only whats needed? i see this as simple time wasting tactics.

MRbrownJAY:

why the need to go back home?! isnt a plane ticket and visa only whats needed? i see this as simple time wasting tactics.

True!but what about what d oda poster said about taking 10yrs to gain citizenship thru marriage?

am sure the marriage was really to get papers,there are some decisions you take in life that only yu and your God should take it,it's not fair what he's done,i have an aunt in the same situation infact it's been over 10 yrs and they don't even have kids,she's already 45 and the man has settled down in us and has kids but my aunt is still hopeful that she will go and join them.I had a similar situation but this time in Uk,when i got tired i took a visa and went to uk myself,eventually it did not work,let him know you want to move on with your life that you are tired of waiting,maybe not divorce yet but you have a right to affection ,what do men take us for sef?log of woods that will stay faithful for 6yrs whle they are away with another woman?Do what you think is best for you,life is short jare.

u shd pray and fast abt it - dnt act rashly. Clear ur mind of all sentiments b4 making a leap cuz wrong move will increase d regrettg. If possible go to yankee to confront him . Wat of d other woman how will she take to being used and dumped , she's human too. Talk this over wt him.

unfortunately darling your story is not a new one. Many of our homeboys always marry when they go abroad. They even go to an extent of staying with the lady and be there for her financialy i do not know whether its moslty because of papers or just because men can never leave without a woman around but the funny thing is that they expect us to put our lives on hold for them until they decide to comeback. baby do not be another statistic, go one with your life. You only live once after all so you know what, find a way to divorce him and marry a man who will hold you during those cold nights because aint no use being married to someone just by word but not activity

If a man can go to the extend of getting married to another woman in order to make money, then that man values money more than his wife and marriage. Such a man can do anything just to make money. I mean any thing. Is just like a married women going into cheap prostitution or getting married to another man outside nigeria just to get money from him and this makes no sense. Marriage is a sacred thing. Is not a thing to be toiled with. A marriage is not to be used as a colateral inorder to secure greener pastures. A man that can go to unholy and a defiling height to secure money is not a good man. Such a man can use his wife or kids for ritual, he can even abandon them and move in with a richer woman. Besides this man in question has gotten a kid with the woman. Two kids from different women. Please madam check the next guy if he is ok to you, and will love your child marry him but make sure he doesnt value money more than you just like your US husband. A man that got married to another woman just because of material things dosent worth it and has completely defiled his marital vow. If you were the one that did it, will he wait for you? Will he still love and call you his wife? Make the right choice today.

tanidabi: i have an aunt in the same situation infact it's been over 10 yrs and they don't even have kids,she's already 45 and the man has settled down in us and has kids but my aunt is still hopeful that she will go and join them.

wow!ur aunt is one hell of a patient lady!

Princess zoe: If you were the one that did it, will he wait for you? Will he still love and call you his wife? Make the right choice today.

Ijeoma Okeke100: the funny thing is that they expect us to put our lives on hold for them until they decide to comeback find a way to divorce him and marry a man who will hold you during those cold nights because aint no use being married to someone just by word but not activity

Interesting....

Sparkle1: True!but what about what d oda poster said about taking 10yrs to gain citizenship thru marriage?

if the guy needs to be married 10yrs, with some donkey, to get his citizenship then the ONE person that needs to know this stuff and take the important decision is his "wife" back home. how evil it would be for a man to expect his "wife" to wait that long while he is shacking up and having children with some donkey.

Your supposed husband in the states is self centred.The initial plan was to take you along after he has settled down but the reverse is the case because he has gotten your replacement over there in the states.

Time waits for nobody,he is raising his own family in the states and at the same time telling you to put your life on hold for him,That's selfishness at its peak.

He is toying with your emotions or that of his yankee wife to earn a living.At the end of the day either you or his yankee wife would be the loser.Your situation is very dicey because you don't know his plans and he could come up with a filmsy excuse tomorrow that he is no longer interested and bla bla bla.

The bottomline is that he is going to crush the heart of an innocent woman intentionally,the unfortunate woman remains a puzzle.OP are you ready to put your life on hold when you are just a puzzle/option to this so called husband of yours?

Words are not enough,actions speak louder than words.

Princess zoe: If a man can go to the extend of getting married to another woman in order to make money, then that man values money more than his wife and marriage. Such a man can do anything just to make money. I mean any thing. Is just like a married women going into cheap prostitution or getting married to another man outside nigeria just to get money from him and this makes no sense. Marriage is a sacred thing. Is not a thing to be toiled with. A marriage is not to be used as a colateral inorder to secure greener pastures. A man that can go to unholy and a defiling height to secure money is not a good man. Such a man can use his wife or kids for ritual, he can even abandon them and move in with a richer woman. Besides this man in question has gotten a kid with the woman. Two kids from different women. Please madam check the next guy if he is ok to you, and will love your child marry him but make sure he doesnt value money more than you just like your US husband. A man that got married to another woman just because of material things dosent worth it and has completely defiled his marital vow. If you were the one that did it, will he wait for you? Will he still love and call you his wife? Make the right choice today.

this has everything i have to say. marriage is not about riches and wealth, its for better or worse. gbam

tanidabi:
am sure the marriage was really to get papers,there are some decisions you take in life that only yu and your God should take it,it's not fair what he's done,i have an aunt in the same situation infact it's been over 10 yrs and they don't even have kids,she's already 45 and the man has settled down in us and has kids but my aunt is still hopeful that she will go and join them.I had a similar situation but this time in Uk,when i got tired i took a visa and went to uk myself,eventually it did not work,let him know you want to move on with your life that you are tired of waiting,maybe not divorce yet but you have a right to affection ,what do men take us for sef?log of woods that will stay faithful for 6yrs whle they are away with another woman?Do what you think is best for you,life is short jare.

whats the hope at the age of 45 to join one man who already has kids in US? this post is 2013, has she gone now?