Fellow Nairalanders,

pls ur sincere contributions to this thread will be very much appreciated. Because it'll give me an insight on why most of our nigerian men take their hardworking wives for granted...They stop complimenting her looks,or cooking,simply because they're not 'toasting' her anymore. I feel gestures like compliments,gratitude and the likes of it shouldnt be seasonal. Especially in marriage! It shld be for always.FYI,depriving her of all these things (which by the way are free)might lead to Depression,Comfort-Eating habits,Adultery,hatred, etc


(Pls ladies in the house,feel free to join in.)

Speak for yourself missy , if you have marital problem (s) feel free to open a thread rather than hide behind ruthless thread to condemn the institution of marriage , Everybody is not miserable you know? ..... I'm sick and tired of these NL generalization threads lately.....Misery loves company!

Lol.Many still compliment their wives. However, you get what you give. Do you still tell ur husband how much u love him, how nice his tie is, how cute his shirt is?

Do wife tell their husbands how much they enjoy such compliments? Men get tired of wooing women after marriage because they do so much while dating.

Relationship is mutual. Men have needy emotion too and they are in need of assurances. Give it and you will be appreciated!

Mayflowa: Lol.Many still compliment their wives. However, you get what you give. Do you still tell ur husband how much u love him, how nice his tie is, how cute his shirt is?

Do wife tell their husbands how much they enjoy such compliments? Men get tired of wooing women after marriage because they do so much while dating.

Relationship is mutual. Men have needy emotion too and they are in need of assurances. Give it and you will be appreciated!

I repeat speak for yourselves and stop generalizing.

jidegirl12: Speak for yourself missy , if you have marital problem (s) feel free to open a thread rather than hide behind ruthless thread to condemn the institution of marriage , Everybody is not miserable you know? ..... I'm seek and tired of these NL generalization threads lately.....Misery loves company!

yea right another bored house wife again ranting about not being loved by her husband . Clear evidence of rantings about marriages that aint working , another loved starved married woman hiding behind a thread asking for advice and seeking peoples opinions . A clear example of what has Been the topics on nairaland of late .. An example of a marriage that is about to hit the rocks again .marriage indeed mteeeeeecwww

preetydiva: Fellow Nairalanders,

pls ur sincere contributions to this thread will be very much appreciated. Because it'll give me an insight on why most of our nigerian men take their hardworking wives for granted...They stop complimenting her looks,or cooking,simply because they're not 'toasting' her anymore. I feel gestures like compliments,gratitude and the likes of it shouldnt be seasonal. Especially in marriage! It shld be for always.FYI,depriving her of all these things (which by the way are free)might lead to Depression,Comfort-Eating habits,Adultery,hatred, etc


(Pls ladies in the house,feel free to join in.)

.missus, Stop hiding behind a thread , we know you are loved starved and your marriage is about to hit the rocks go talk with your husband one on one and stop ranting here were are tired of married women here everyday and your rantings we need some fresh air on nairaland abeg

butta: .missus, Stop hiding behind a thread , we know you are loved starved and your marriage is about to hit the rocks go talk with your husband one on one and stop ranting here were tired of married women here everyday and your rantings we need some fresh air on nairaland abeg

Who are we ojare? * kills the buzzing flies* ( cris cross apple sauce )

#erankojatijatialaileko

preetydiva: Fellow Nairalanders,

pls ur sincere contributions to this thread will be very much appreciated. Because it'll give me an insight on why most of our nigerian men take their hardworking wives for granted...They stop complimenting her looks,or cooking,simply because they're not 'toasting' her anymore. I feel gestures like compliments,gratitude and the likes of it shouldnt be seasonal. Especially in marriage! It shld be for always.FYI,depriving her of all these things (which by the way are free)might lead to Depression,Comfort-Eating habits,Adultery,hatred, etc


(Pls ladies in the house,feel free to join in.)

@op, you may think like that, but its not always like that, men, too are emotional beings, and if their women dont appreciate them, they also have the tendency of doing the same, so, if you feel deprived of appreciation, not complimented, not flattered, why dont you try and give them first.
There is a popular saying that says......."do unto others what you want them do unto you". Also, Gods words says, "give and it shall be given unto you", therefore, i will advise you to give the compliments first and you will definately get them back.
May God help us all.

jidegirl12:

Who are we ojare? * kills the buzzing flies* ( cris cross apple sauce )

#erankojatijatialaileko

are you alright ?

butta: are you alright ?

Wad'ya fink? do I sound alright or not?

*continues with flies killing*

jidegirl12:

Wad'ya fink? do I sound alright or not?

*continues with flies killing*

enjoy

greatgod2012:


@op, you may think like that, but its not always like that, men, too are emotional beings, and if their women dont appreciate them, they also have the tendency of doing the same, so, if you feel deprived of appreciation, not complimented, not flattered, why dont you try and give them first.
There is a popular saying that says......."do unto others what you want them do unto you". Also, Gods words says, "give and it shall be given unto you", therefore, i will advise you to give the compliments first and you will definately get them back.
May God help us all.

excellent post

This is what I utterly disagree with.

The thread title is an insult.....the OP is ignorant/bitter about an issue in marriage.....then you create a thread to denigrate 'most' Nigerian men.

I hope the OP learns to correct her silly reasoning on time before it gets way too late.

greatgod2012:


@op, you may think like that, but its not always like that, men, too are emotional beings, and if their women dont appreciate them, they also have the tendency of doing the same, so, if you feel deprived of appreciation, not complimented, not flattered, why dont you try and give them first.
There is a popular saying that says......."do unto others what you want them do unto you". Also, Gods words says, "give and it shall be given unto you", therefore, i will advise you to give the compliments first and you will definately get them back.
May God help us all.

Your response shows maturity and understanding and that why in all the responses,I chose yours to quote because u sure know how to use social media. Thanks a lot for ur MAtURED sense of reasoning unlike some people here who think and answer like children.

jidegirl12: Speak for yourself missy , if you have marital problem (s) feel free to open a thread rather than hide behind ruthless thread to condemn the institution of marriage , Everybody is not miserable you know? ..... I'm sick and tired of these NL generalization threads lately.....Misery loves company!

U lack Love and common sense obviously dear. Just read all the rubbish u've typed! Do u even know if I'm married or just asking questions? No one is miserable except u and u sound even more bitter than Yoyo Bitters! when u see a post with Topics like this ;there's a tendency that is real or not. And you really don't have to click,open and comment u know,u could just ignored! Replying a thread on Nairaland isn't a MUST! There's no award for it.you sounded angry. Topics r posted so opinions could be read and learnt from. Besides,do u even know if I'm married? It's just a post. And I remember saying "most men" and not ALL men, in case u were too blind to see!

There r hundreds of threads generalizing women,ladies,men and all on Nairaland. Mine's no different. Wether I use the word, curse,some,most or A nigerian man,pple would STILL react the way they want! Besides,it's a question not a statement of fact.

Pataki: This is what I utterly disagree with.

The thread title is an insult.....the OP is ignorant/bitter about an issue in marriage.....then you create a thread to denigrate 'most' Nigerian men.

I hope the OP learns to correct her silly reasoning on time before it gets way too late.

Atoo.. Excellent post
Always wondered why you seem to support the women folk consistently

They always post to denigrate men tahnk God for posters like
If Jesus came back to earth and saw this posts, he will think naija males are devils

SMH at women folk

Baba Oyo where you dey o

biolabee:

Atoo.. Excellent post
Always wondered why you seem to support the women folk consistently

They always post to denigrate men tahnk God for posters like
If Jesus came back to earth and saw this posts, he will think naija males are devils

SMH at women folk

Baba Oyo where you dey o

Now I'm laughing hard! Lol. U're so funny. Thanks for ur comment jare . See it's not like the male folks are devils. Na. We (both genders) need one another. That's how God made it. I'm talking based on some other people's experience and complaints that they wish that relationships with their boyfriends,husbands, would treat them the same way that they used to when they toasted them that's all. If u read what I wrote,u would see that it showed that The men usually used to do all those stuff and more. But into the relationship, or into the marriage,they kindda reduce or stop it. It's not a war against the male folks pls. I still have brothers and father figures out there too. It's just an observation. It's nothing to be taken personal. Someone explained a good point earlier and he's Male. I even replied him for his maturity. He 'understood' the message. Thanks for ur contribution. It made me smile

Marriage is a 2 way thing. We give compliments and we get compliments.
Also, I had the same problem doing it all being super woman when my husband didn't seem to appreciate it I get upset and angry, however we talked and I realised that he prefered us spending more time together that having a spotlessly clean house.
We were trained in our generation to believe a good wife is one who cooks the best, cleans spotlessly and generally babys a man, however I have learnt from personal experience that these things don't work for everyone.
Instead of being resentful find out why you don't get complimennts, not nag just share, ask what makes him happy and tell him what makes you happy too, infact, leave cooking for one day and organise a night out or an out door picnic just the two of you, just go out and have fun.
No tired vexing wife or bored stressed husband just 2 people in love.
Its good to spice up things my dear.

preetydiva:



Now I'm laughing hard! Lol. U're so funny. Thanks for ur comment jare . See it's not like the male folks are devils. Na. We (both genders) need one another. That's how God made it. I'm talking based on some other people's experience and complaints that they wish that relationships with their boyfriends,husbands, would treat them the same way that they used to when they toasted them that's all. If u read what I wrote,u would see that it showed that The men usually used to do all those stuff and more. But into the relationship, or into the marriage,they kindda reduce or stop it. It's not a war against the male folks pls. I still have brothers and father figures out there too. It's just an observation. It's nothing to be taken personal. Someone explained a good point earlier and he's Male. I even replied him for his maturity. He 'understood' the message. Thanks for ur contribution. It made me smile

Ok.. good post but you have to look at it from a male perspective
The title shows anger and frustration at something guys are not doing even though they can or should

Men may do those things before marriage
After marriage, typically the normal routines of life step in which is why it is encouraged that a couple take time off to rekindle their love

I have friends who will just pay to enter Sheraton for a two night thing and leave their kids with their parents
Sounds foolish but its vital

I understood you perfectly and will not take things perfectly
I would like women who see opportunity for improvments in their relationship to be more proactive and suggest things to keep the flame however with a little ego-massaging
it works!

Naija men don suffer sha

God bless u dear. Thanks.

biolabee:

Ok.. good post but you have to look at it from a male perspective
The title shows anger and frustration at something guys are not doing even though they can or should

Men may do those things before marriage
After marriage, typically the normal routines of life step in which is why it is encouraged that a couple take time off to rekindle their love

I have friends who will just pay to enter Sheraton for a two night thing and leave their kids with their parents
Sounds foolish but its vital

I understood you perfectly and will not take things perfectly
I would like women who see opportunity for improvments in their relationship to be more proactive and suggest things to keep the flame however with a little ego-massaging
it works!

Naija men don suffer sha

No wahala

Ladies be patient and show your strength as you have shown over the ages.guide your partners with humble love and you will reap this desired result


The issue is a conflict between men's traditional roles with modern realities

debrief08: Marriage is a 2 way thing. We give compliments and we get compliments.
Also, I had the same problem doing it all being super woman when my husband didn't seem to appreciate it I get upset and angry, however we talked and I realised that he prefered us spending more time together that having a spotlessly clean house.
We were trained in our generation to believe a good wife is one who cooks the best, cleans spotlessly and generally babys a man, however I have learnt from personal experience that these things don't work for everyone.
Instead of being resentful find out why you don't get complimennts, not nag just share, ask what makes him happy and tell him what makes you happy too, infact, leave cooking for one day and organise a night out or an out door picnic just the two of you, just go out and have fun.
No tired vexing wife or bored stressed husband just 2 people in love.
Its good to spice up things my dear.

Well said my dear. Thank you so much. Contributions like yours helps us to learn from past mistakes and work towards a better future and having a good or even better relationship with one's spouse. Matured and experienced minds like yours is what we need here. Once again,I say thank you for the corrections and experience shared. We are all learning and no one's perfect. God bless u

[quote author=biolabee]No wahala

Ladies be patient and show your strength as you have shown over the ages.guide your partners with humble love and you will reap this desired result


[b]The issue is a conflict between men's traditional roles with modern realities

[/[/b]quote]

The bolded sums up the issues modern marriages face.Not just the man but the woman as well.The most important thing is know Yourself and know your partner.Cos someone pays verbal compliments all the time does not necessarily mean he is a better husband than one who does not.If my husband pays me a compliment i know he means it and its not vain or just lip service.Its just that he says things as it is and wears his heart on his sleeve(annoying sometimes cos its vice versa if the soup is salty he will say it and not eat it with love and shut up he will say you know salt is not good for us).I used to get upset intially but then i realised that this man is honest,no pretence no airs.I can be ME with him,i can say my love do u think this hair style will look good on me and i will get a straight answer.I generally rarely take offence so my personality matches his and we work together.Another couple might be different.So as i said Woman know thyself.

biolabee:

Atoo.. Excellent post
Always wondered why you seem to support the women folk consistently

They always post to denigrate men tahnk God for posters like
If Jesus came back to earth and saw this posts, he will think naija males are devils

SMH at women folk

Baba Oyo where you dey o

Not every lady posts to denigrate men. There are a couple of reasonable ladies here. I would not mention names though, before some ignorant mofos here think I am chasing these ladies on the forum.

In as much as I hate men who treat their ladies like second-hand tools, I equally despise title threads such as these. Nigerian men are not cursed, and as I usually say: it takes two to tango.

Mtcheeeeeeew. . . . Foolishness in high places!

preetydiva: Fellow Nairalanders,

pls ur sincere contributions to this thread will be very much appreciated. Because it'll give me an insight on why most of our nigerian men take their hardworking wives for granted...They stop complimenting her looks,or cooking,simply because they're not 'toasting' her anymore. I feel gestures like compliments,gratitude and the likes of it shouldnt be seasonal. Especially in marriage! It shld be for always.FYI,depriving her of all these things (which by the way are free)might lead to Depression,Comfort-Eating habits,Adultery,hatred, etc


(Pls ladies in the house,feel free to join in.)

She said 'most' . . . Wonder what the hullabaloo is all about
Maybe she struck a nerve

Ujjoan: Mtcheeeeeeew. . . . Foolishness in high places!

Hi, how are you? Is everything alright?

Enjoying your ban and my recommendations to you yesterday? Hope you had a heart-to-heart talk with your hubby yesterday?

Have a nice day.

Yours sincerely - Pataki.

preetydiva:

Said by a Foolish person like you Is it by force to comment?

Not that I intend to negate your point here, but I am quite certain she intended that post you quoted from her for me.

I believe the best way to address her is by directing her to the path of wisdom.
...................................................................................

That said, I have read your further rejoinder to this thread and I can relate/understand to where you are coming from. Albeit, the title topic is somewhat offensive.