For so long all i do on nairaland is read peoples comments/post about the bad relationship they were in and hope it would never happen to me, well i was dead wrong. 
When i traveled to Nigeria for a business trip, my girlfriend of three years broke-up with me after all her promises. i have tried all i can to get her back(buy dozen of roses and so many things that i cant even start counting, talk to her friends and family and even have to make my poor DAD beg her for me), all she keeps on doing is fall deeply in-love with a Malawi guy that i know for a fact can never love her as i do.
i really want to move on, but it is so hard for me(LOVE IS A B***H).
That is why i am on nairaland asking for two things to help me move on:
1. advise on what to do and how to get over this pain, if you have any experience you can share it
2. I'm a 24 yrs old guy based in Dallas, who is looking to make new female friends that are in the U.S too.
email me at chupeco@yahoo.com

Look dude, if she ain't interested anymore and want to move on with this new guy, then let her be and do the same.
she ain't feeling you no more, so move on to someone else who's going to feel you.

A friend of mine sent me the message below by T. D Jakes. it might be really long, but it makes a whole lot of sense.


[b]There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk
away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to
see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have
continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.


And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just
means that their part in the story is over. And you've got
to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep
trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you
something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I
believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm
faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong
to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to,

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ,

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth,

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ,

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge,

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction,

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ,

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude,

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better,

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take

you to a new level in Him,

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship,

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try
to help themselves,

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ,

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so
used to handling yourself

and God is saying "take your hands off of it,"

then you need to,

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2008!!!



LET IT GO!!!



Get Right or Get Left
. think about it, and then ,

LET IT GO!!!

[/b]

There are two things that I consider as being important in life, amongst others.  They are love for one's self as a person and the capacity to love others.

When you have done everything to make someone see/know you love him or her,and that person refuses to look in your direction, you need to leave him or her alone and face your life. Yes, we get hurt. . .but we have to move on.

When you have offended someone and you realize it.  The honorable thing to do is to make peace with that person and God and move on.  When you beg for love and forgiveness and you do not get the feed back you feel you deserve, move on.

@poster,
What is yours, is yours.  If you let it go and it comes back to you. . .then it is yours.  Please move on and try to love your self more.  If you did love yourself more, no one on this earth can hurt you for more than one week. Everything then becomes a 7-day wonder. Find more love for yourself, so someone worthy of you will appreciate you.  Your girlfriend is gone and you should be gone from her life too.  You have done your best. . .anything after this constitutes making a fool of youself and no one is worth all that attention.

BTW. . .I am happy you are already looking for some female friends in "Dallas" so soon.  I hope you are healed emotionally well enough to get into another relationship so soon?  Not just looking for a "rebound"?

I wish you all the best! That's soooooooooooooooooooo life! You win some and you lose some!

how often did you visit her in nigeria

@ Thoniaslim
thanks alot, wow that was nice, i also go to T. D jakes church in dallas

@ Almonoljoy
thanks for the kind words. i am just presently looking for a friend to talk to,

@ reloaded
she is also in the State too.

@ Posters
plz send me an e-mail or type your email address, i really need your friendship

Um how did she meet this Malwai person? Were there issues in the relationship?

she met him at a party when i waz in nigeria, collected his number,

iice:

What do you need new female friends for?
Shouldn't you be processing and healing right now?
Nwayz, with time the pain will lessen

Like you were reading ma mind.  If I find ma self in this kind of state of mind. . .the only thing that comes to ma mind is "take a break"!  A female to talk to would be the last thing on ma mind right now.  For at least 6 months to 1 year. I would be hangin' out the the "games arcade" with a whole bunch of dudes. . .drinking and returning home to the trusted  "hole in ma mattress"!

To each his or her own then!

bigp:

she met him at a party when i waz in nigeria, collected his number,

he he he he he he.

Looks like babee went a-shopping! Hmmmmmm!  You are 24? How old is she?

bigp:

she met him at a party when i waz in nigeria, collected his number,

something must have been wrong for her eyes to have roamed

and i agree with iice, looking for "female friends" isnt what you should be doing. Take a break

you all are getting me wrong, i am not looking for a relationship i am just looking for friends, someone i can call and talk 2 and that is it.

@ almondjoy
she is 21
maybe the problem is because i spent 2 long in naija(4 months) before i came back and she found someone. when i was in naija i made sure i call her everday and she never mention this guys name.

Well let bygone be bygone.
She is gone and thats that.

What kinda friendship u looking for - male, female, penpals?

In that case, take heart. Go out, try and have fun. Take out everything that can allow you to forget her.

Bros , the hand writting on the wall is so clear,the new guy on the block is really overwhelming her for now.
Please i beg you to move on with your life and never allow a gold digger tear your heart apart. You are just too young to carry such burdens for now,play free and enjoy your youthfulness while it lasts but be careful and watchful. Never throw caution to the wind.
USE A CONDOM if the need araises.

@topic

at least its not your balls on fire.

Sorry she never loved you. If she had she would have waited for you and not discard you like a piece of rubbish .

bigp:

you all are getting me wrong, i am not looking for a relationship i am just looking for friends, someone i can call and talk 2 and that is it.

@ almondjoy
she is 21
maybe the problem is because i spent 2 long in naija(4 months) before i came back and she found someone. when i was in naija i made sure i call her everday and she never mention this guys name.

My dear. . .thank God you did not marry her. Only maturity will teach you that "bodi no be firewood" but "old firewood no dey ever burn finish"!

Just thank your lucky stars I say.  Thank God you are both still young. There is hope.  Just leave the female friends issue for now.  All that is your "dross" talking.  Just find other hobbies please so you do not end up in Nigeria for only 2 weeks and get a "dear John" letter from Dallas telling you of the next girlfriend's marriage to the landscaper.

In otherwords. . .choose your friends wisely! Learn to pick partners that will appreciate you and vice versa.

doyin13:

@topic

at least its not your balls on fire.

he he he he he he



_{Oh lord take control of this thread!}

(buy dozen of roses and

who tell u say nigerian men care about roses? ,abi naija women na bad question i ask

@Poster

Look here Bro'. Forget this girl and move on with dear life. If she has made up her mind, wish her luck and let her go. It's not that serious. Another thing is, there are 2 sides to a story and we have only heard one side. Maybe her side of the story might be slightly different from yours. We don't know how possessive you might have been with her in the past. But whatever the case may be "LET IT GO"!!

And why are you so much in a hurry to jump into another relationship ?? Asking for all these women's contacts is not the way to go. Process the break up in your head, digest it and search yourself to see what went wrong before hopping on another relationship. It will make you a better lover next time around.

I assume you are in Dallas right? Go out Bro'. Have some fun, Go to Dave and busters, six flags, Downtown Dallas, DMX Dance club(Go over there and grab you some booty). Leave that girl alone and get right.

@ thonia slim and almondjoy- those were rlly encouraging words, atimes we have to let go and let God.

@poster- the truth is pain makes us forget we have an inherent ability to heal ( though we may be scarred).in time, you will get ova this and find something greater.

question- have you had enough sex with her? if yes, then u got nothing to loose o - bro.

angeleses:

question- have you had enough sex with her? if yes, then u got nothing to loose o - bro.

Pally everything nor be sex o !

angeleses:

question- have you had enough sex with her? if yes, then u got nothing to loose o - bro.

sho, na wa o! (some men i must not meet)

arianne:

sho, na wa o! (some men i must not meet)

if you meet me, i must give you bow leg before you leave me - bow leg from sex - no be only men dey get bow leg from too much sex o.

i fell in love with her for who she was and not her body or sex, about three of her own friends that are way hotter than her wants me but i refused them.
also i wanna clear this out, i dont want yall to think that she is evil because she has a goodheart only that she gets carried away easily.

if you meet me, i must give you bow leg before you leave me - bow leg from sex - no be only men dey get bow leg from too much sex o.

descendants of his grace

@ThoniaSlim
Thank you. I read that and started crying, exactly what I'm going through and trying to do. I printed that out cause it's something I need to keep reminding myself.

« #30 on: Today at 10:43:06 PM »

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i fell in love with her for who she was and not her body or sex, about three of her own friends that are way hotter than her wants me but i refused them.
also i want to clear this out, i don't want yall to think that she is evil because she has a goodheart only that she gets carried away easily.

So wetin you wan make we do naa ? we don give you advice and you say make we talk evil of the babe.
Abeg try make up your mind on what to do with her!