Hi,bin married for some months now but stil very unhappy wth my marriage, I don't feel anytin for my man but instead I feel so much for my ex. I my husband prosposed to me just after 3months of we dating and I had to abandon a relationship of 6yrs all because I felt d latter was way younger, now I hate my self for making this decision. What do I do.

unhappy woman: Hi,bin married for some months now but stil very unhappy wth my marriage, I don't feel anytin for my man but instead I feel so much for my ex. I my husband prosposed to me just after 3months of we dating and I had to abandon a relationship of 6yrs all because I felt d latter was way younger, now I hate my self for making this decision. What do I do.

Na your cross...abeg carry am well.

U choose to be unhappy...cheer up and move on...

if u had a baby dat was born deformed u'd hav no prblm loving him. But here u talkg of resigng ... Ur stuck wt him xcept u wanna try adultery with ur ex. Stay and make ur Marraige work. Love in the non hollywood way. Afterall in d past 2 ppl who never knew each other- woman imported from d village - got married and their marraige as "unromantic" as it was mor stable than wat we hav today. Divorce was an alien word breakup was rare despite educational ang technological backwardness of those times. Besides, wat gaurantee is there dat if u had ur way nd married ur ex u wont today b complaing abt sth else? Face up and make d best of ur situation.

denzel2009:

Na your cross...abeg carry am well.

no mind her..

For beta n for worse

May I ask how old you are?

CHEEEEEEErssss to for better for worse , grab my bottle of heineken beer ...sippppping , cheers to unhappy woman ...and cheers to potential unhappy women..women confused lot.

A life spent making mistakes, is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.........GEORGE BENARD SHAW

Babe... Looks like you've been in touch and spending time with your ex even after you got married.

Honestly though, you need to buck up and get to work on your marriage. You're already in it, there's no backing out. This may sound harsh, but it's tough love and good too.. Here's what you should do:

1. Cut all ties with your ex. As the yorubas say "ere ki l'ája nb'ekun se?". It means what does a dog have to do with a tiger.

2. Start loving your husband. There's this story about a man who went to see a marriage counsellor/life coach. He told the life coach he wanted to divorce his wife of 20+ years cos he didn't have any feelings for her and wanted advice on how to go about it. The life coach simply told him to "love her". The man protested, yet the life coach insisted on him loving her. Eventually, the man asked the life coach how he could go about loving her. And the life coach told him "treat her like you are crazy about her even if you don't feel like it".

For a start, the life coach asked him to write down everything that was good about his wife and read it every day. Then, told him to buy her gifts, be considerate, attentive, sensitive and to take her out for 30 days.

The man decided to give it a try cos he figured what the hell, he didn't have anything to lose. So, he did that for the first 10 days, nothing. He didn't feel anything towards her. On the 11th day, he called the life coach and told him he didn't feel anything and the life coach told him to just keep at it and love her anyway regardless of whether he felt it or not.

He continued. On the 19th day, he took her out, and during the course of the dinner, told her a joke that made her laugh so hard. Her laugh was so deep that he realised that he hadn't heard her laugh life like that in a long, long time. He looked at her and realised how beautiful she was when she laughed... Most importantly, he realised with sadness, that he had been too preoccupied and selfish. At that moment, he felt a small tug of compassion, sadness and most importantly, the stirrings of "something tender". So, he made a commitment to himself that he would make her happy and make her laugh with everything he's got. 60 days later, the life coach called and asked him how he was faring and why he hadn't gotten back to him.

Long story short, he told the life coach that he couldn't imagine life without his wife... and that he loved her more than life itself.

Now, I'm not saying yours will be like this (although chances are it will ), but you need to make a commitment to loving your husband. If you do this, your marriage will blossom.

3. Pray about it. I'm no preacher. But from personal experience, I know God doesn't joke with some things: One of them is marriage. He will intervene swiftly if you hang in there.

So, hang in there and just LOVE him.

Who knows, in 60-90 days, it's possible you'll be telling us how you can't live without your husband .

All the best dearie and have a happy and ecstatic married life.

unhappy woman: Hi,bin married for some months now but stil very unhappy wth my marriage, I don't feel anytin for my man but instead I feel so much for my ex. I my husband prosposed to me just after 3months of we dating and I had to abandon a relationship of 6yrs all because I felt d latter was way younger, now I hate my self for making this decision. What do I do.

So u want us to advice u to divorce ur wedded husband when u did not inform us before u abandoned ur ex of 6ryrs rltshhp. u better be happy becos marriage is for happy and for sad

denzel2009:

Na your cross...abeg carry am well.

God go bless you jare...

@op, please don't act foolishly. Like the above poster rightly said, you have chosen to carry this cross for the rest of your life, you will do yourself favour and good to carry it and learn to love your hubby cause its already too late to do anything about it unless u wanna act foolish like most people do these days and find nothing wrong with..

I think its a lesson for others. Don't be in a rush to make certain decisions you would stand to regret later on... Wish u well.

Like I said, learn to love your hubby. Thats all you can do.

dmcdad:
God go bless you jare...

@op, please don't act foolishly. Like the above poster rightly said, you have chosen to carry this cross for the rest of your life, you will do yourself favour and good to carry it and learn to love your hubby cause its already too late to do anything about it unless u wanna act foolish like most people do these days and find nothing wrong with..

I think its a lesson for others. Don't be in a rush to make certain decisions you would stand to regret later on... Wish u well.

Like I said, learn to love your hubby. Thats all you can do.

Explain pls where and how a Person can learn to love someone.

carefreewannabe:

Explain pls where and how a Person can learn to love someone.

By default, love ain't something you learn to do. You don't force yourself to love someone neither do u go to school to get taught on how to love. Based on whats on ground, there is no other approved way to get over the situation than to take it as it is. There is one thing I always tell people and that is for them not to whine or complain on something that happens to them, but rather to devise a means of getting over it. Often times people spend precious times ruminating about a problem while less time would have been spent in getting a solution for it.

What i am saying in essential is that, even though by default one doesn't work itself to love, but giving consideration to her predicament, then the best advice would be for her to look for those little things about him (cause there are definitely a couple of good things about him) that she could build her thoughts upon and in the long run... You know what it might lead to.

Catch my drift?

If your ex will take you back, go for him. Life is too short to spend it unhappy.

dmcdad:
By default, love ain't something you learn to do. You don't force yourself to love someone neither do u go to school to get taught on how to love. Based on whats on ground, there is no other approved way to get over the situation than to take it as it is. There is one thing I always tell people and that is for them not to whine or complain on something that happens to them, but rather to devise a means of getting over it. Often times people spend precious times ruminating about a problem while less time would have been spent in getting a solution for it.

What i am saying in essential is that, even though by default one doesn't work itself to love, but giving consideration to her predicament, then the best advice would be for her to look for those little things about him (cause there are definitely a couple of good things about him) that she could build her thoughts upon and in the long run... You know what it might lead to.

Catch my drift?

Don't get me wrong please, I am not intending to criticize your piece of advice because I don't have a better tip for her and I think that I caught your drift.
Maybe focusing on those "little things about him" could in the long run lead to her loving him. However, I doubt it.

denzel2009:

Na your cross...abeg carry am well.

Heheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thk u all for ur comments, advice and opinions....

This is how u ppl ruin your lives and that of those that come close to you. I am sure your husband never planned to end up with :.
1. Half-loving wife.
2. Cheating wife.
3. Become a divorcee. Now u are going to hand him one of those ,if not the three.
I firmly believe that some ppl ought not to be touched with a 200meter pole.

god don ctch u, u followed money, enjoy ur doom jare, dem put knife for ur head mrry ni

unhappy woman: Hi,bin married for some months now but stil very unhappy wth my marriage, I don't feel anytin for my man but instead I feel so much for my ex. I my husband prosposed to me just after 3months of we dating and I had to abandon a relationship of 6yrs all because I felt d latter was way younger, now I hate my self for making this decision. What do I do.

There's a possibility that you could wait for that boyfriend of yours and he won't marry you at last... Just make up your mind and love your husband, 4get your ex and make the most outta ya marriage

Never compare your husband with another man... Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. It is unlikely that your ex boyfriend who did not marry you after dating you for 6 years would want to marry you if you become a divorcee.
Someone has rightly advised you to learn how to love your husband, go on and practice it. Goodluck!

carefreewannabe:

Don't get me wrong please, I am not intending to criticize your piece of advice because I don't have a better tip for her and I think that I caught your drift.
Maybe focusing on those "little things about him" could in the long run lead to her loving him. However, I doubt it.

Yeah you are right to doubt it.. But I feel its the best and safest option she's got.

dmcdad:
Yeah you are right to doubt it.. But I feel its the best and safest option she's got.

Yeah, she should give it a try. This is the least she can do for her husband.

unhappy woman: my husband prosposed to me just after 3months of we dating and I had to abandon a relationship of 6yrs all because I felt d latter was way younger

#SMH, as u lay ur bed................

Stop being UNFAITHFUL to your husband by thinking of your Ex and wishing you are still with him.
Do that and focus on making your marriage work. Learn to love your husband and enjoy your marriage.

PrettySpicey: Stop being UNFAITHFUL to your husband by thinking of your Ex and wishing you are still with him.
Do that and focus on making your marriage work. Learn to love your husband and enjoy your marriage.

How does one learn to love someone?

You have to deal with it, you made the choice or is he maltreating you?
http://www.frediliadtruthuncensored.com/

medicine after death