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Am Lost Here!!! - Romance - Nairaland

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I've Loved And Lost. Here Is My Story / Am Lost Here!!! / Kinda Lost Here (2) (3) (4)

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Am Lost Here!!! by lickylicky(f): 9:47pm On Apr 29, 2013
We met thru his mum. Yeah, we attend the same church but we've never met. I know his parents and one of his sibling. His mum came to our house after one sunday service but before then in the church, I noticed his mum was extra nice to me which was very unusual. That kinda gave me a clue something was about to happen. Lo and behold she called my mum that she would like to see her. When she got to our place, she told my mum she want me to marry her son...(I was at home that faithful day listening while hiding)I felt uncomfortable with the idea but later since I wasn't dating any1 I decided to give it a try. He is based in the UK while am here in Naija. We started chatting on fb later calling and then BB chat, but one thing that surprised me is he never mentioned his mum's part until now. He acts as if he doesn't need me. I can't even say this is when am going to see him and whenever I ask, he says he doesn't knw and won't even talk about it. I don't feel free with him at all, he has created this kinda wall unknowingly (I think so) and it is really affecting our communication. He is ten yrs older and I understand he myt not be on d same level romantically n emotionally wit me coz he is older, but its killing me. I need a man to make me feel like a woman, a man who is able to express his feeling. He has never told me how he feels about me or our relationship. The day I tried talking about it, he made me feel stupid by giving me one word answers to the extent I had to stop the discussion. His behaviour is so not real and I confirmed this after we had a video chat on skype, that week was different he opened up and our communication for that week was great but after a while it went back to usual. That gave me hope that when we see things will fall in place but when will that happen. Its been dating for more than 10months now. I really do like him and I want to feel loved and cherished. Right now I have decided to give him space but when he calls I pick and I respond to his chats too. He acts so smartly that I can't even proof dats he is behaving funny coz I will end up looking like a nag or something. I don't know what to do. I tell him I Love him and I show it, thru text, e cards, mails and gift. He sends me money and gift but not a word, expressing how he feels about me or us. Am not just happy. What can I do?
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by Scarpon(m): 10:22pm On Apr 29, 2013
(in mountain of fire voice)
any evil spirit of blind relationship and no sexsual feelings that will not let me to nack apako DIE BY FIRE

4 Likes

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by MrCork: 10:25pm On Apr 29, 2013
lickylicky: We met thru his mum. Yeah, we attend the same church but we've never met. I know his parents and one of his sibling. His mum came to our house after one sunday service but before then in the church, I noticed his mum was extra nice to me which was very unusual. That kinda gave me a clue something was about to happen. Lo and behold she called my mum that she would like to see her. When she got to our place, she told my mum she want me to marry her son...(I was at home that faithful day listening while hiding)I felt uncomfortable with the idea but later since I wasn't dating any1 I decided to give it a try. He is based in the UK while am here in Naija. We started chatting on fb later calling and then BB chat, but one thing that surprised me is he never mentioned his mum's part until now. He acts as if he doesn't need me. I can't even say this is when am going to see him and whenever I ask, he says he doesn't knw and won't even talk about it. I don't feel free with him at all, he has created this kinda wall unknowingly (I think so) and it is really affecting our communication. He is ten yrs older and I understand he myt not be on d same level romantically n emotionally wit me coz he is older, but its killing me. I need a man to make me feel like a woman, a man who is able to express his feeling. He has never told me how he feels about me or our relationship. The day I tried talking about it, he made me feel stupid by giving me one word answers to the extent I had to stop the discussion. His behaviour is so not real and I confirmed this after we had a video chat on skype, that week was different he opened up and our communication for that week was great but after a while it went back to usual. That gave me hope that when we see things will fall in place but when will that happen. Its been dating for more than 10months now. I really do like him and I want to feel loved and cherished. Right now I have decided to give him space but when he calls I pick and I respond to his chats too. He acts so smartly that I can't even proof dats he is behaving funny coz I will end up looking like a nag or something. I don't know what to do. I tell him I Love him and I show it, thru text, e cards, mails and gift. He sends me money and gift but not a word, expressing how he feels about me or us. Am not just happy. What can I do?



...summary?..please? undecided
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by 190: 10:26pm On Apr 29, 2013
Scarpon: (in mountain of fire voice)
any evil spirit of blind relationship and no sexsual feelings that will not let me to nack apako DIE BY FIRE


[size=48pt]ROTFL
[/size]

1 Like

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by nicky4lif(f): 10:43pm On Apr 29, 2013
What I feel is(not sure though)his mum is the one pushing him to marry u,so he might be doing it just to pls his mum.maybe he has someone he trully loves over there nd his mum doesn't want him to marry outside ur tribe or nigeria.when u show a guy that u are all for him nd can do anything for him or make the relationship work,he will start acting up.so what I think u shld do is,start doing does things he does that gets u mad.leave him to do the talking when he calls nd contribute when u feel u need to nd when he starts to complaining just say(I'm sorry)nd continue with what u are doing untill he is ready to talk abt both of u.never compain abt any thing he does that u don't like.don't show him that u want marriage cos such person will be so pissed with u when he feels u are after that nd u will start irritatining him.so act like u don't really care nd let's see how it goes.goodluck.

2 Likes

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by Ab025(m): 11:09pm On Apr 29, 2013
Girl.....stop wastin too much time on him, why dnt u hook up wit a cool naija dude who will luv and care for u for who u are?

1 Like

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by 190: 11:21pm On Apr 29, 2013
Ab025: Girl.....stop wastin too much time on him, why dnt u hook up wit a cool naija dude who will luv and care for u for who u are?


Like 190 cool
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by Nobody: 11:28pm On Apr 29, 2013
You were forced upon him and he is yet to realize your value. Make yourself unavailable for a while, give him a chance to want you. . . give him space. If after a while, he doesn't even notice that a vacuum in communication has been created, end the relationship and go do something better with your time. He is not worth it.

4 Likes

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by eyenCalabar(m): 12:03am On Apr 30, 2013
sexkillz: You were forced upon him and he is yet to realize your value. Make yourself unavailable for a while, give him a chance to want you. . . give him space. If after a while, he doesn't even notice that a vacuum in communication has been created, end the relationship and go do something better with your time. He is not worth it.

Pls listen to this young man. This is why his name is Sexkillz. He has said almost everything. Again, I know you like the UK connection but then you can't force yourself on him or force feelings to rise from his heart for you. Besides, such arrangee relationship/marriage thingy always end up in the mother controlling the child's home. Why? Because the child could not even get himself a woman. She did for him! She'll stil believe he can't take good care of his family and hence interfering in you guys matters. At that point, you won't like the woman again and you may even end up hating yourself for ending up with the son in the first place. And that guy may turn to hate you for trying to challenge her (mum) decisions in your own house. Don't just be blindfolded by love today. Have foresight. Or am I going to far?

3 Likes

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by CaptCavey(m): 12:34am On Apr 30, 2013
The guy is not emotionally attached to you,but i think he's still doing his best hiding it from you. Just to be sure,i think you should stay aback a bit and define his commitment to you, judging by his reaction to you being suddenly passive. . .and then follow your compass.

And even if this is probably rare,arranged relationship also have success tales,don't overtly despair.

1 Like

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by thorpido(m): 7:38am On Apr 30, 2013
Young woman,this is simply a case of a mother trying to fix a wife for her son that is long due for marriage.
The guy doesn't really feel u yet and is probably going through the motions cos of his mum.I think u need to step back a bit and let him drive the relationship more.You can keep the communication channels open but don't put your heart much in it.
I know you are getting sucked in by the UK connections,money and gifts but from the tone of your words,u seem like the non physical things(romance,attention,love etc) are more valuable to you.These will matter more on the long run.
If after a while u still don't feel him....let him go.
There are enough guys here in Naija that will satisfy you.

1 Like

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by andyanders: 11:08am On Apr 30, 2013
In fact, I still wonder what a young woman with her right senses will still be having the thoughts of illusion over love.
How can you start developing love with a man whom you have not met? How come you will sit here in Nigeria to kickstart a long distance romance? I think I have an answer to that= Because of the pounds he has to give you and been staying outside Nigeria. Hell nonsense. Most of the guys over there are suffering and trying to make ends meet or are into serious relationship with someone over there.

He is just trying to please her mum to your detriment.
Better start a relationship before it gets too late.

2 Likes

Re: Am Lost Here!!! by mizturmoby(m): 3:00pm On Aug 27, 2013
I dnt get how u can fall desperately in love wit sum dude u aint neva seen..m sure ders tons of guys askn u out here but because u hear uk..ur ear stand! Its not rocket science dat both ur mums and urself r tryn to practice sumn primitve.
Take ur head off d clouds and settle for a healthy relationship down here abeg. Do not be a pest to anybdy,u r more dan dat!
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by lickylicky(f): 7:12pm On Oct 17, 2014
Guys thanks for all the comments! Its been over a year now. Funny enough me and my so-called uk boyfriend broke up july 2013 wen I got a message from him “ I ve been thinking abt sumtin 4 a while , think we need to break up can't cope with this anymore really” and replied saying “its obvious, u didn't ve to wait this long to figure that out” and to my suprise up till this day I got no reply and I didn't bother myself communicating with him either. Guess I made the break easy for him. The news here is that he is getting married to another girl in our church and coincidentally the girl was my brother's ex (they were engaged) its just so funny. Heard the wedding is coming up this december. What a small world... But wait, I don't know how I will feel or act when I see them probably when they come for wedding thanksgiving. Life goes on anyway. Just thinking.
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by joromi: 12:39am On Oct 18, 2014
lickylicky:
Guys thanks for all the comments! Its been over a year now. Funny enough me and my so-called uk boyfriend broke up july 2013 wen I got a message from him “ I ve been thinking abt sumtin 4 a while , think we need to break up can't cope with this anymore really” and replied saying “its obvious, u didn't ve to wait this long to figure that out” and to my suprise up till this day I got no reply and I didn't bother myself communicating with him either. Guess I made the break easy for him. The news here is that he is getting married to another girl in our church and coincidentally the girl was my brother's ex (they were engaged) its just so funny. Heard the wedding is coming up this december. What a small world... But wait, I don't know how I will feel or act when I see them probably when they come for wedding thanksgiving. Life goes on anyway. Just thinking.

Thank you jare for giving us the concluding part wink
Many have come... Solicited for advice and Left us hanging angry angry angry (God is watching y'all in 3d angry)

Don't forget to update us on how the wedding/thanksgiving goes wink
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by roymary: 1:00am On Oct 18, 2014
I'd say Nigga wasn't attracted to you from Day 1. You just didn't see that.
Re: Am Lost Here!!! by gsalvatore: 8:03pm On Oct 18, 2014
lickylicky:
Guys thanks for all the comments! Its been over a year now. Funny enough me and my so-called uk boyfriend broke up july 2013 wen I got a message from him “ I ve been thinking abt sumtin 4 a while , think we need to break up can't cope with this anymore really” and replied saying “its obvious, u didn't ve to wait this long to figure that out” and to my suprise up till this day I got no reply and I didn't bother myself communicating with him either. Guess I made the break easy for him. The news here is that he is getting married to another girl in our church and coincidentally the girl was my brother's ex (they were engaged) its just so funny. Heard the wedding is coming up this december. What a small world... But wait, I don't know how I will feel or act when I see them probably when they come for wedding thanksgiving. Life goes on anyway. Just thinking.

I guess your life evolve around your church..

Consider shooting outside the box.

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