Hi peeps,happy weekend to all.

I have very long hair and tend to have it in braids or weaves most of the time.Hairdressing salons are not my fav places so thinking of chopping off all my hair and going on dreads for convenience.The thing is i know my husband does not really like short hair or dreads on women.I am sure if i discuss with him and tell him its for convenience he will say ok its sha your hair.But i know he thinks intially till they grow long it makes some women look masculine(am not too sure yet mysel :Df dont want to end up looking weird).

I have had friends say i do over the top make up and hair cos my husband likes flashy looking women.I have had male friends say i cut my beard cos my wife hates bearded men.You know how sometimes how we look is a reflection of us but i am guessing sometimes your other half has a say.Before some people start talking self esteem now,i am asking for cases where its not a control issue but because you want to keep looking attractive to your partner.

So would you go for a look you know your partner finds unattractive?

No I will not. If it displeases him, sooner or later I will hate it as well anyway. That is just the way it is with us. Can't really explain.

No!

No sis, bad idea, don't even try it

I thought about going
for short look too but oga won't let me, he said there'd be nothing to grab/ run his fingers thru during love making , he's a braid freak and particular too ( million braids), that I gave him control over ( cos I love braids too but he took it to another level) and it has nothing to do with esteem so don't listen to that.

jidegirl12: No sis, bad idea, don't even try it

I thought about going
for short look too but oga won't let me, he said there'd be nothing to grab/ run his fingers thru during love making , he's a braid freak and particular too ( million braids), that I gave him control over ( cos I love braids too but he took it to another level) and it has nothing to do with esteem so don't listen to that.

Jide,i was not listening to anyone o.Its just that on NL once a woman wants to do something that needs her husband approval,its she gets her self esteem from being his wife

Me sef that dreads thing,i dey think am.One of the reasons my hubby loves long hair is same as ur husband(onisekuse ).Was just chatting with my friend and she said i dont need to cut my hair,she said there are some extensions that are dread like that i can carry for like 6 months.I can wash it and as its extensioms can take it off if he absolutely hates it.

Okay sis, I'm actually referring to NL advice that says so.

Yeah onisekuse those men, he pulls away the pony tail so fast than I do

Take care

jidegirl12: Okay sis, I'm actually referring to NL advice that says so.

Yeah onisekuse those men, he pulls away the pony tail so fast than I do

Take care

Lol at bolded. You do realise horse riding is a fantasy for most men, and since horses are not so readily common and available for rides, then we create our own horses. ...haha.....i "ride" horses too !!!!

@Damiso....it won't be wise going to make such since he has reservations about it. Even though it doesn't bother him for now,later on he might start making "funny" comments that you may not like.

I personally HATE dreads on women. ....especially that type your friend said you can fix on. You carry the same hair type for 6months? Arghhhhhhhh. ...i refused to date a very nice girl once before cos of this dread of a thing. She liked me so much, and i had hinted her jokingly how i would love to see her in another form, the chic no pick. Each time she comes around, all i see is gollywog. That makes me laugh a lot without reason. Just go for something comfortable for you both. Dreads? No no no .

Its very disheartening when your spouse absolutely hates your new look,It seems most men hate dreads,I personally don't see anything sexy about dreadlocks.I ll rather stick to looks my partner admire.

@op, dont try it!!!


i also have long hair, and the maintenance is becoming something else, but hubby is long hair freak, i remember the first and only time i told him that i will love to cut my hair low, he said........"dont you dare it, im so so in love and proud of your hair".


And for dreads, abeg, that to me looks too wield for me o, plus hubby do not even like it on ladies, he says it makes them look like ..............
So, for now what i do is to braid, or sometimes, basket weaving, (he so much love this on me) and sometimes too, i fix weave-ons, maintaining my long hair is tedious jare, but since i wont have a look hubby wont appreciate, i havent cut it.
So, my dear sister, since you know he doesnt like dreads, look for other hairstyles that is comfortable for you and he will also appreciate and admire, knowing fully well that he also will not have a look you will not appreciate.
One thing i want you and other ladies to know is that, if your hubby makes any comment on you or your hairstyles, its because such man still love you and has time for you, once the love is no longer there, he wont even notice you, not to talk of your hair, so, its better to do the hairstyle that they will appreciate and admire.
May God help us all.

No serious person in a serious relationship or marriage would go for a look their partner hates except such person has a different agenda from the interests of the marriage.

The only time I might have issues with it is a partner who wasn't clear on what he or she would be comfortable with or without before marriage and suddenly has a problem with a certain style the other is used to now but really,some thing are just not worth the hassle.

Byvan, bob merely kinda dread?

Baba Oyo , enjoy your horse back riding jare nothing do una

jidegirl12: Byvan, bob merely kinda dread?

Baba Oyo , enjoy your horse back riding jare nothing do una

Bob Marley kind appears neater but yet so unsexy IMO.

damiso:

So would you go for a look you know your partner finds unattractive?

Short term? Yes. For example, he may hate my time saving morning hairstyle, or that convenient hairstyle for the week, may hate an outfit, make up choice for a day's outing etc. I won't necessarily change those unless I was having reservations about it too. I would cut my hair if desired. The compromise would be to wear it for short periods and cover up with braids or weaves at other times if you're into those. Even day to day, that can be transformed with wigs. Hair would grow back in a couple of months anyway.

Long term? Generally no. So for instance, a 'semi permanent' look like dreadlocks that you will probably have on you for up to a year or more, probably not the best idea. Exceptions can be made though.

Baba Oyo:

Lol at bolded. You do realise horse riding is a fantasy for most men, and since horses are not so readily common and available for rides, then we create our own horses. ...haha.....i "ride" horses too !!!!

@Damiso....it won't be wise going to make such since he has reservations about it. Even though it doesn't bother him for now,later on he might start making "funny" comments that you may not like.

I personally HATE dreads on women. ....especially that type your friend said you can fix on. You carry the same hair type for 6months? Arghhhhhhhh. ...i refused to date a very nice girl once before cos of this dread of a thing. She liked me so much, and i had hinted her jokingly how i would love to see her in another form, the chic no pick. Each time she comes around, all i see is gollywog. That makes me laugh a lot without reason. Just go for something comfortable for you both. Dreads? No no no .

Why now baba oyo? ;DDreads look good on some ladies now e.g dakore(come to think of it she now wears weaves as soon as she got married ).Maybe its the cultural aspect of dadas are dirty ala rastafarians or that lunatics have locked hair but for some odd reason most men hate dreads?

As said mantaining long hair is such a fuss and making my hair now seems like a chore.We have to be planning and strategising cos i hate taking my kids to make my hair.Though i kinda of have an issue with carrying a style for more than 6 weeks.Thats why it was important it had to be something i could wash(i hate all kinds of odours and meeen some people's hair can stink).

damiso:

Why now baba oyo? ;DDreads look good on some ladies now e.g dakore(come to think of it she now wears weaves as soon as she got married ).Maybe its the cultural aspect of dadas are dirty ala rastafarians or that lunatics have locked hair but for some odd reason most men hate dreads?

Exactly. The problems with locs in Naija is the stigma. Sometimes they can be very stunning.

Just hinted my mum about my dreads idea her reply goes thus:

Hen Oloun mi onije,iwo omo ile musulumi ododo,odidin iyaaale le.Ipinle were ni dada.Ko se ni oju aye mi.

Meaning

God forbid.My God wont allow it.You that you are from a good muslim home,a whole married woman and mother.Dreads is the foundation of lunacy.Not in my lifetime.


Apologies to baba oyo on my appalling written yoruba.

damiso: Just hinted my mum about my dreads idea her reply goes thus:

Hen Oloun mi onije,iwo omo ile musulumi ododo,odidin iyaaale le.Ipinle were ni dada.Ko se ni oju aye mi.

Apologies to baba oyo on my appalling written yoruba.

Hahahaha. .....apology accepted madam Damiso.......a little trial and errors will set you on tne path to good written Yoruba.

As for your mum.....i swear to God. ...she is one i.interesting and funny Alhaja......may she live long o.

I can't help waking up wifey with my laughter.
Now am happy am not the only one with the Dada/were mindset.
Kudos to Dakore though. ....guess she inspired lots of women with that dread locks.

When I saw this thread,I asked my hubby why men lv long hair, he said its good for lv making. I asked again,he said how will u understand cos u rnt a man.no wonder all my plea to cut my hair fell on dead ears!
@op,I had low cut truout my varsity days,my hair is not black and I hated it hence d very low cut.a bit golden,I always got tired of telling pple I don't mix colors for my hair.braidin,relaxin infact anything on my skull hurts a lot!I prefers low cut and it fits me very well but he no gree. Now my hair is long and I'm plaiting,fixin,name them,all bc of pleasin one man! I told him if I will be doin dis hair,u must be payin and he readily agreed! C men! women don suffer!
To ur ?, No u may not want to do it unless he don't care and I think most of them do!but ask which one he prefers.not that once in awhile u won't do ur girlie thing o!

I remember when I was preggy and wanted my hair really short due to severe headaches,my hubby refused and said I should stop combing it if it hurts.I laugh when i read the men on NL posting on how much they hate human hairs,How comes these men have no problems with other hair extensions but human hair?
My huBby's favourite look is when am wearing a 30inches long Braz hair.I hated the price of the hair but he saw nothing wrong with it because he loves it hence doesn't mind buying.

Well,its now established that most love long hair and hate Dada lol.

@Yellow pawpaw,I love brown hair,mine is colour 33 but I wish it was colour 30 instead.I was using Ozone relaxer worth 50 naira in my late teens to get it browner lol.

Like me i really really hate wigs, weave-ons, all that Brazilian hair and artificial things our black women now can't seem to get enough of. If she went on braids, dreadlocks or generally pro natural now that would be a great turn on. But i also love my woman to death and have learnt to compromise.

byvan: @Yellow pawpaw,I love brown hair,mine is colour 33 but I wish it was colour 30 instead.I was using Ozone relaxer worth 50 naira in my late teens to get it browner lol.

Just hate it!can't do anything black and its natural.but d truth is pple always praise d hair.had I got it from dad.
But these men r so unfair! I lv neat well cut hair on men but hubby has afro.almost a year and half no cuttin.it fits him anyway but why can't he do as I want? Imagine him stealing my hair pdts! Caught him one day!no wonder my hair pdts always finish on time! Some weekends I weave his hair 4 him.c me c wahala!wetin I go do now?I don talk tire,I no de talk again.

Dreds are not low maintenance is you want to keep it nice, full and perfect. I know someone who twists and washes his every week. I love dreads, but don't have the courage yet. I have noticed though that black hair grows faster and longer in dreds.

Ok now I can see most people don't like locks. What can I do to my 15months old girl's hair? I have shaved her hair twice and it keeps locking as it grows back. It's real fight when we comb and it locks back within 15mins. It also breaks when we comb. I can't keep shaving her hair. I hope she will not be bullied when she starts school? People say she looks cute, I hope they are not just deceiving me

deybowlah: Ok now I can see most people don't like locks. What can I do to my 15months old girl's hair? I have shaved her hair twice and it keeps locking as it grows back. It's real fight when we comb and it locks back within 15mins. It also breaks when we comb. I can't keep shaving her hair. I hope she will not be bullied when she starts school? People say she looks cute, I hope they are not just deceiving me

I can relate with you madam.
once the hair is that stubborn, you have two choices, either you relax it to maintain a textured you can comb through. ....which in my opinion is not a good idea for a kid that age .
The other option, you keep cutting till it comes out fine, tough decisions ma'am. Best of luck

..