I have known this lady for a preety long time and we are soulmates, she complements me in almost everyway and she definately meets the criteria i have set in my mind for a wife, except for the fact that she happens to be an atheist and i strive to be a devoted christian.
She only told me about this recently when it became clear about how serious the relationship was. We have been dating for about 6 years and are both marriage ready. I did decided to end the relationship at some point which i did for about a year, but the problem is i cant find anything close to those qualities in anyone else.
Fellow nairalanders, i need your advice please. I do have a thick skin, so i dont mind u being as blunt as possible, i am even open to insultive comments, just say something and tell it like it is.

You have to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself. You're the only who can make that decision. If her being an atheist is not something you can deal with then let her go or try to change her before marriage. Don't go into marriage thinking you can change her. If you accept her the way she is now then be ready to accept her in marriage. Don't make a mistake that could bring squabbles into your marriage. It's good to know that you're even discussing this before marriage so that some years down the line, you don't come complaining about how your wife has refused to follow you to church.

time to put religion to the trash bin where it belongs, and think for yourself.

You don't have a problem...yet. You guys have dated for six years and in that time, religion hasn't a problem for you guys, why should it become one now?
I guess it depends on what you're afraid of. If she won't stop the kids from attending your church, and you promise to not force the kids to attend with you, things will be simple for you guys. You like her, she likes you. You like certain qualities about her that you can't find in many other women. I think you have the answer to your question.
Good luck

Illuminatus: You don't have a problem...yet. You guys have dated for six years and in that time, religion hasn't a problem for you guys, why should it become one now?
I guess it depends on what you're afraid of. If she won't stop the kids from attending your church, and you promise to not force the kids to attend with you, things will be simple for you guys. You like her, she likes you. You like certain qualities about her that you can't find in many other women. I think you have the answer to your question.
Good luck

Dating and Marriage are two different hings entirely. That you tolerate one in a romantic relationship doesn't mean you would in a marriage. It's good that he's asking questions now that he wants to take the relationship to an entirely new and different level. It's not ok to assume that since there hasn't been any problem, that there wouldn't be one. The lady in this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1511194/banned-speaking-language-baby thought so too.

No point setting yourself for a life of mysery if you are someone that is intolerant to other people's views.

Religion/faith is a major aspect in a marriage so it isn't an issue you can play the "hoping she/he will change" game.

I just don't see how it will work so i'm afraid your search for that soul mate should continue

Bad company spoils good manner.

My dear, she will drag you backwards. You will start feeling lazy to go to church.
Time to prepare your kids to church, she won't do it, you on your own I trust Naija guys Sha, wey the strength.

The only thing here is when those kids are grown up, some may join you. But I doubt that because your wife must have given them her own doctrine.

If you love her, you can go ahead, she may go with you sometimes for a function but her mind won't be there.

Chillisauce: My dear, she will drag you backwards. You will start feeling lazy to go to church.
Time to prepare your kids to church, she won't do it, you on your own I trust Naija guys Sha, wey the strength.

The only thing here is when those kids are grown up, some may join you. But I doubt that because your wife must have given them her own doctrine.

If you love her, you can go ahead, she may go with you sometimes for a function but her mind won't be there.

Ehen, na here wahala dey start. No, she won't go with him cos she's Atheist. he shouldn't go into marriage thinking that she would even escort him to the street where the church is located let alone going to church.

Chillisauce: My dear, she will drag you backwards. You will start feeling lazy to go to church.
Time to prepare your kids to church, she won't do it, you on your own I trust Naija guys Sha, wey the strength.

The only thing here is when those kids are grown up, some may join you. But I doubt that because your wife must have given them her own doctrine.

If you love her, you can go ahead, she may go with you sometimes for a function but her mind won't be there.

nice Brief.

I am a muslim and I will marry a muslim lady as my wife 2moro......I advice u to marry a christian gal since u are a christian

Religion is very important in marriage, pls dnt make d mistake of marryin someone who doesn't share ur faith or who doesn't even believ in d existense of God. U will only cause problems for ursef in the future.

Pls heed my advice.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers 2 Cor.6:14. Preach Jesus to her, if she accepts him, marry her, if not let her go.

My candid advice is to cut your losses and move ahead because unless you are ready to become an atheist, it will be jumping into troubled waters for sure if you go ahead and marry.

Marriage reveals all the warts that dating covers up so do not be deceived into thinking she will be tolerant of your need to pray and practice your faith when you get married.

Save yourself the heartache and break it off now!

OP, you have been dating for 6 years? Did she tell you about her 'irreligious' conviction yesterday? Anyway, that is by the way.

My Opinion: have a heart to heart talk with her. Did her atheism stem from a bad experience? Wrong education? Family background? Is she 'truly' convinced? Whatever the 'cause' will determine how easy it will be for you to convinced her to try out your religion. After determining her reasons for being an atheist, you can try preaching to her.


If she is still not convinced, then please, dont go into marriage with her (especially if you think she'll convert after she marries you). You MAY regret it if you do. God will provide a better 'option' for you.

@op your relationship doesn't have a Godly foundation obviously if it did, her beliefs and attitude towards God would have been one of the first things you would have observed about her.

The truth is, you don't need that relationship since both of you have entirely different beliefs and from your post its clear that you really want to be a good christian, normally you should relate more with people that will help strengthen your faith not to talk with someone you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with, think about your future kids, would you want them to grow into believing God doesn't exist ?

Think about other quarrels (minor and major) that could spring up because of this issue or better still try telling her about the gospel and your faith in Jesus she can get converted, if you marry her based on your feelings alone, trust me when problems about this issue arises later in future, it will kill your feelings. Its either Jesus or her, make your choice bro .

Atheism is a belief that does not agree with Christianity. You should not even be together in the first place, it cannot work! Better to let go and don't even brood over the six years spent dating or what foundation are you building upon?

Apostle Paul wrote to the saints in Corinth, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

Don't see how you can walk together without a spiritual agreement.

I always say, if you are going to marry, engage your brain before you engage your heart. Do not get carried away by love or lust. That will disappear when the issues arise.

Also, if she becomes christian so as to marry. It will also be problematic as there is no conviction. After a few months, she will be back to her normal self.

If she is the stronger character, you might end up as an atheist too.

manos: I have known this lady for a preety long time and we are soulmates, she complements me in almost everyway and she definately meets the criteria i have set in my mind for a wife, except for the fact that she happens to be an atheist and i strive to be a devoted christian.
She only told me about this recently when it became clear about how serious the relationship was. We have been dating for about 6 years and are both marriage ready. I did decided to end the relationship at some point which i did for about a year, but the problem is i cant find anything close to those qualities in anyone else.
Fellow nairalanders, i need your advice please. I do have a thick skin, so i dont mind u being as blunt as possible, i am even open to insultive comments, just say something and tell it like it is.

What about her atheism are you afraid will disturb your marriage?. I don't think you should marry this woman if you are sure of her you won't ask anyone for advice. Since time immemorial people of different beliefs have been marrying sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't its the same with marriage of same beliefs sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Issues like this are too personal and only you can make up your mind because all the advise you will get here are from people whose minds have been conditioned by religious and cultural upbringing and we can only give you advise along the lines we know.
If you are to pick majority advice you won't marry her. If you marry her with niggling doubts in your mind it won't work. For this marriage to work, you have to accept her as she is. If i were you if i truly loved her, searched my mind that i will not be planning any conversion down the line, will accept her as she is,not compare my marriage with anyone when i go to church and see couples wearing and co,if she would accept me as i am and neither of us would feel one is less or more i will marry her. The way i read you right now you have not accepted her as she is so i will say don't.

It is a very simple problem really, i am atheist too, all you have to do is introduce her to me. I promise you that the problem would be solved. Brother, i dont want you to go to hell fire, IT IS HOT O! AHH!! Dont play with God O! AHH!!!

Just introduce her to me and all your problems would go and God would be happy with you again.