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Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger - Family - Nairaland

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My Family Is Tearing Apart Now. / Friendship With Opposite Sex After Marriage / 4 Reasons Why Family Is Better Than Friends (2) (3) (4)

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Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Goodwill123: 12:43am On May 12, 2013
I have to open a new account tonight in other to protect the image of the family involved, Seun hope it's not a crime?

My story

I have been in a terrible mood for the past 2 weeks because of this issue and I have tried as much as possible to see if I could profer a solution on my own but it hasn't been easy. But after going through an earlier thread that appeared on the front page some days ago( https://www.nairaland.com/1284024/broken-dejected-found-out-wife )I decided to make it public here hoping that men and women of goodwill will profer a better solution on how to rectify this problem before it consumes me and everybody involved.

I have known this my friend for over a decade and early this year his wife told me she was searching for a job. As a friend of the family I promised to try by best in helping out in the best way I could. Around March this year, I spoke with my boss in where I work and through the goodwill I enjoy at the company she was offered a job. But things has turned upside down since 2 weeks ago. She called me after close of work that week and asked me what I know about my boss, with so much enthusiasm I told her that we have been friends and that to the best of my knowledge he is a good man. Then I got the shocker of my life when she said that my Boss is asking her out. I took it as an expensive joke until she showed me some of the texts he sent her and I instantly got depressed.

After going through the former thread as I said earlier I knew that I have to do something fast before the situation gets out of hand. I have tried to talk sense into her but within me I still feel I haven't done enough. That is partly because am afraid that if she yields to his offers tomorrow and her husband later discovers her marriage will hit the rock. My friend may never forgive me also because I was the one that introduced her to my boss. My concerns now are whether I should leave things the way they are right now since I have warned the lady of the implications or should I confront my boss knowing that my job could be at stake?

The lady told me what is happening based on her confidence in me and I don't want to get her husband involved neither am I ready to loose his frienship. Please what should I do, I need a help?
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Afam4eva(m): 1:02am On May 12, 2013
I wonder why she doesn't want her husband to know though...i wonder why some ladies just like inviting troubles into their home...@OP I think you have done your own part. It's now between her and her CHI(God). At least, it's not like she's started cheating on her husband or anything like that.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Nobody: 1:08am On May 12, 2013
Complicated! But if I were u,talk to my boss 1st(shebi na ur friend), if he can't c reason will tell my friend.either way,I've exonerated myself.kindly stay clear after that.women can be very manipulative especially where they hv interest. Goodluck
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Bles(f): 2:57am On May 12, 2013
If she is a gud wife, it is her right 2 open up 2 d husband & nt u. But thank God u've played ur role right by advicing her on d implicatns involved. Bros, talk 2 her again & see if she will hearken 2 ur voice and if nt, leave her alone and let her face d wrath of her husband..
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by armyofone(m): 2:59am On May 12, 2013
Nig is such a screw up country. This is s.exual harassment, if it were me, I will look for way to teach this boss a lesson, pepper spray his abunna. She should tell her husband. So sad this is happening in 2013!! He offered her a job, so what? why are nig boss so immoral? Huge shame on that your boss OP. You better call him to order.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by feminineA: 3:57am On May 12, 2013
Leave your boss out of it so you dont lose your job. But her husband MUST know about it so your good will not turn to bad eventually. Also your friends wife needs to start looking for job elsewhere its not a do or die affair.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by i1: 4:16am On May 12, 2013
Oga, U don't put fish in front of a cat and think the cat will leave it alone! Flee from all manner of temptation! We all know the way the country is but mehn na sHe suppose decide which one is better for her, a Job or a broken home. Tell her to resign on Monday and collect the salary! Don't tell your boss You know what happened! As for the husband when she resigns You can both approach Him and beg his forgiveness! But She must resign!
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by kenny1795(m): 5:42am On May 12, 2013
feminine A: Leave your boss out of it so you dont lose your job. But her husband MUST know about it so your good will not turn to bad eventually. Also your friends wife needs to start looking for job elsewhere its not a do or die affair.
i think d wife z d one who shld tel ha hubby nt d OP coz it myt complicate tinz d more. D lady z matured and should knw what she wantz sheikina!
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by MMotimo(f): 6:17am On May 12, 2013
Somehow, chopping another man's wife has become a sport. In the old days, the sight of a woman's wedding band could stop a predator in his tracks, not much of a deterrent these days smh
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by slimyem: 7:43am On May 12, 2013
Op, you have no business confronting your boss neither do you have any telling your friend your boss is asking his wife out.
It should be at the woman's discretion to choose whether and when her husband should be aware or not and her not telling him might mean she's interested in the affair.
I don't see why you'd be blamed if this woman decides to cheat with her boss except you are the one who gets to arrange the hotel the act would be done in or gets to fan them during the act.cheesy
You have done your part.Look away.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Nobody: 8:52am On May 12, 2013
...before showing you the text the woman must have been up to some tinz....tread kiafully.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Nobody: 8:59am On May 12, 2013
What Slimyem said.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by EzePromoe: 9:01am On May 12, 2013
OP, you've done your best already. If she wants to save her marriage, she should tell her husband now its just in its infancy.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Goodwill123: 10:44am On May 12, 2013
Thank you specially to everyone who has contributed here but I want to ask those who said I have done what I should; if things gets worse will the husband be pleased to know that I simply warned his wife and kept quiet? My initial plan was to find a way to make my Boss know that someone else is aware of his secret even if I don't confront him one on one, will this be a wrong move?
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by Afam4eva(m): 10:46am On May 12, 2013
Good-will123:
Thank you specially to everyone who has contributed here but I want to ask those who said I have done what I should; if things gets worse will the husband be pleased to know that I simply warned his wife and kept quiet? My initial plan was to find a way to make my Boss know that someone else is aware of his secret even if I don't confront him one on one, will this be a wrong move?
I understand what you're trying to avoid but i think it will be worse if you go ahead to tell him because he will think he's wife is hiding it from him for a reason and could spell doom. It's really not your business what happens. You've done your part.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by WhyMe222(m): 11:43am On May 12, 2013
@Good-will123: in whatever we do in life, wisdom should be the guide. Acting on impulse has never produced any good result or so little if at all any. I will say, don't report to your friend. You have done your part just like some others have said. You have warned the woman to stop on her tracks. If she goes ahead to dive in despite your warnings, then it is her cross to bear. When the bubbles bursts, you tell your friend you couldn't have told him that because you didn't want to break his home. But instead, you cautioned the wife and threatened to report her if she dares it. That should be enough. If you are the one to give him the revelation, he will see it from a different prism compared to when it comes from his wife because, he will have the notion the wife is hiding something reason she kept it from him. You can't afford to loose your job in this present day Nigeria because of the woman. It is her duty to tell her husband.
Re: Help, My Friendship With A Family Is In Danger by oluplus(m): 1:25pm On May 12, 2013
Why would you wan to put your job on d line for no reason? Yes, you got her d job, fine, but would u also teach her how to live her life or what decisions to make. Pls stay out of the game. We are talking abt 2 full grown adults here. To your tent oh Isreal.

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