Caracta:

Oh goodness!
We still have people that think like this? Omg!
What a world we live in. Omg! For real?
Omg!

Has your bride price been paid? Lol, when money leaves the hand of someone in exchange of something else, is it not a business transaction?

Well then ur not a MAN yet! Even d bible say "therefore A MAN shall leave his mother nd father nd d TWO(WOMAN) shall become one!

fruityjojo: Well then ur not a MAN yet! Even d bible say "therefore A MAN shall leave his mother nd father nd d TWO(WOMAN) shall become one!

Does the two becoming one mean physical one or logical one ? Does 2 people living together make them one?

Is marriage the only reason a man leaves father and mother? Because I have left father and mother and I am not married yet.

mekaboy:

Does the two becoming one mean physical one or logical one ? Does 2 people living together make them one?

Is marriage the only reason a man leaves father and mother? Because I have left father and mother and I am not married yet.

A .... Does not care whether he understands a thing or not! All he wants to do is Show how clever he is. Sunday is not my best day 4 arguin wit people who hav d answers 2 their questions dear.

mekaboy: I am not talking about long distance marriage. I mean 2 people living in the same city, have their places, get married and move in together. Is it a must? Why can't they be married and still live apart?

The idea of living together for ever is what scares a lot of men, including me. That is why a guy can date a girl for 20 years and not propose.

Assuming a guy is working and has an apartment, and the girl is doing the same. When they get married, if they afford to maintain their apartments, why can't they continue living separately. The lady can come spend time in the guys house anytime but can go back to hers. The constant presence of the couples kills romance.

Even when the kids come, they can stay anywhere they like. I have not seen anyone do such that is why I ask.

The living together can suffocate someone. I am the type of person that feels like being alone sometimes. As the feeling of coming home to an empty house something is nice. Knowing that you won't have any visitors, no movement just you.

How do married couples living together cope with the lack of alone time? Some people will say you can have separate rooms, but that's not enough space. You can always bump into each other in the corridor.

Is that why most married men travel to chase contract? What of those that have jobs that don't allow them travel?

One can be married and still have that dating feeling, where you gf comes with a bag and you welcome her. She stays for days or weeks. And you drop her off in her house and return and still chat and know how she is doing. You can go and spend time at her place. You both have clothes in each others house.

Is it possible to be married and still maintain the dating experience?

Not by force to do so but I wanted my own house for a year and my hubby wasn't having that. I was going to front all my bills seeing I don't rely on Yahoo scam or government to support me


My hubby got us a house and one big bed. We don't sleep apart unless travel for business or vacation.

There are couples with separatr rooms pretending to be happily married like those in every country around the world especially in the East. We like and love ecery bit of our marriage but sharing a house doesn't mean you are happily married....just mean you are roomates with benefits.

fruityjojo: A .... Does not care whether he understands a thing or not! All he wants to do is Show how clever he is. Sunday is not my best day 4 arguin wit people who hav d answers 2 their questions dear.

Don't assume I have the answer to the question else I won't be asking. At the same time u don't expect me to accept your opinion because you believe its right. At the end of deliberation, you might realise that you have a wrong ideology of marriage.

Mrs..Chima:


Not by force to do so but I wanted my own house for a year and my hubby wasn't having that. I was going to front all my bills seeing I don't rely on Yahoo scam or government to support me


My hubby got us a house and one big bed. We don't sleep apart unless travel for business or vacation.

There are couples with separatr rooms pretending to be happily married like those in every country around the world especially in the East. We like and love ecery bit of our marriage but sharing a house doesn't mean you are happily married....just mean you are roomates with benefits.

Good, a lot of people say the bibles says 2 become one, but I don't think the oneness is all about physical location. People can be living separately and be one, people can be living together and be divided, never agreeing to anything, just there because of children. And that is the last thing I want, if we are happy with each other living separately, that must not change if we married. Its all about understanding to me.

@ mekaboy: I'm gonna say something to you but please do not take it as an insult as I honestly do not intend to abuse/insult you. Don't you think you need to see a medical doctor? A psychiatrist as a matter of fact. It's possible you're going through a phase and it's eating you up without you knowing. Reason I suggest you do is cos I can't seem to understand your point here and as we speak,your views are quite confusing to me. Been trying to understand you but I'm beginning to have headache. Or is there someone in the house who understands him perfectly and can explain it/break it down in bits to me? I've tried so hard but still don't understand you. Or can you break it down for me?

chronique: @ mekaboy: I'm gonna say something to you but please do not take it as an insult as I honestly do not intend to abuse/insult you. Don't you think you need to see a medical doctor? A psychiatrist as a matter of fact. It's possible you're going through a phase and it's eating you up without you knowing. Reason I suggest you do is cos I can't seem to understand your point here and as we speak,your views are quite confusing to me. Been trying to understand you but I'm beginning to have headache. Or is there someone in the house who understands him perfectly and can explain it/break it down in bits to me? I've tried so hard but still don't understand you. Or can you break it down for me?

Thanks for your advise, but unfortunately I will pass, for someone who cannot comprehend this simple philosophy, advising me to see a doctor. I think you need the medical attention more, lol.


Well to explain to you, I am asking if its a must that people who get married move in together. Can't they still leave apart as they did before marriage and still be married if they can afford it.

I think the too much of each other can kill romance and suffocate love. I think couples value and appreciate each other more when they are apart.

I think the space and alone time is also important in marriage, marriage is work. And in work people take individual breaks. So I think married people should have their individual lives sometimes.

I was also trying to find out the history of married couples living together. Is it a standard set by the society or religion or any institution.

In summary, can people be married and still have the dating experience?

mekaboy: not at the moment, I still have my space now and then. But the forever after is the issue.

ur talkg frm one perspctve.
U may like it better after u xperience d other perspctve.
U get used to seeing anoda on ur bed 4 years.
Wakg up nd prayg togethr.
Bouncg ideas off anoda
se.x on demand
sleepg in each others arms....
Hearg d other snooze off.
The body language dats hints on an emotion
gettg past d walls of fakeness evrybody puts up,even in long precourtship, to actually knowg d person bhnd d mask
etc
its a journey into d soul of anoda person , frst comes physcl nu.dity
wch requires signifcnt honesty and surrenderg,
then emotional,soulical nudity,
then Merging , analogous to sexual coit.us,
then continuity, regular soul trips 2 create bondg, similar 2 gettg a regular sha.g.
Its about 2 ppl bcmg one, and unravellg each other daily like an interestg onion, so no bros. Distance is out of it.
Ur nt suppose 2 grow aprt,or stgnate,or get used 2 each other, rather like an chain reaction u gat keep ignitg ...
But most 9ja wmn are Passivity SQUARED. Dull dull dull ...
If u meet 1 of thm , it can b excruciatg tryng to make d union wrk on ur own. Like strikg fire out of wet matches.

kambo:

ur talkg frm one perspctve.
U may like it better after u xperience d other perspctve.
U get used to seeing anoda on ur bed 4 years.
Wakg up nd prayg togethr.
Bouncg ideas off anoda
se.x on demand
sleepg in each others arms....
Hearg d other snooze off.
The body language dats hints on an emotion
gettg past d walls of fakeness evrybody puts up,even in long precourtship, to actually knowg d person bhnd d mask
etc
its a journey into d soul of anoda person , frst comes physcl nu.dity
wch requires signifcnt honesty and surrenderg,
then emotional,soulical nudity,
then Merging , analogous to sexual coit.us,
then continuity, regular soul trips 2 create bondg, similar 2 gettg a regular sha.g.
Its about 2 ppl bcmg one, and unravellg each other daily like an interestg onion, so no bros. Distance is out of it.
Ur nt suppose 2 grow aprt,or stgnate,or get used 2 each other, rather like an chain reaction u gat keep ignitg ...
But most 9ja wmn are Passivity SQUARED. Dull dull dull ...
If u meet 1 of thm , it can b excruciatg tryng to make d union wrk on ur own. Like strikg fire out of wet matches.

Bros, na you write this thing so? Lol, anyway I don't think it has anything to do with naija women, most people in the western world don't last in the union.

I think naija women are more enduring, but this generation that get there ideas on marriage from movies, series , magazines and western celebrities, will soon start to follow the final destination which is divorce.

Anyway your explanation was cool at first, but when you got into the soul travel, it became scary, and sounded like marriage was an occult practice.

mekaboy:

Has your bride price been paid? Lol, when money leaves the hand of someone in exchange of something else, is it not a business transaction?

Dude, i know what a business transaction is. Your marriage might be a BUSINESS TRANSACTION but mine is definitely not going to be. No woman is a commodity that needs to be bought, sold or transferred at a mere price or value. We are humans...priceless! The earlier you guys get that into your thick skulls, the better for the human race. Gosh!

Caracta:
Dude, i know what a business transaction is. Your marriage might be a BUSINESS TRANSACTION but mine is definitely not going to be. No woman is a commodity that needs to be bought, sold or transferred at a mere price or value. We are humans...priceless! The earlier you guys get that into your thick skulls, the better for the human race. Gosh!

Lol, that's one way to see it. So what's the essence of the bride price, or is urs going to be free?

mekaboy:

Lol, that's one way to see it. So what's the essence of the bride price, or is urs going to be free?

You are free to believe in whatever you believe in. Bride price is far lower than the "actual price". Is it the bride price that makes the woman a wife? Then what makes the man a husband? You need to stop placing price tags on women.

If it were to be a mere transaction, then it would have been an arms length transaction. No man on earth can place a price on me...he can't even afford it. The bride price is just a traditional symbol. It is even rejected in some places. Does that make the woman a free commodity?

Caracta:
You are free to believe in whatever you believe in. Bride price is far lower than the "actual price". Is it the bride price that makes the woman a wife? Then what makes the man a husband? You need to stop placing price tags on women.

If it were to be a mere transaction, then it would have been an arms length transaction. No man on earth can place a price on me...he can't even afford it. The bride price is just a traditional symbol. It is even rejected in some places. Does that make the woman a free commodity?

So r u going to reject it?

mekaboy:

So r u going to reject it?

The bride price is not paid to the woman but to her father (or family). I have no power over its acceptance or rejection. Like my father will say, "Nobody can pay her price. Neither is she for sale."

Caracta:
The bride price is not paid to the woman but to her father (or family). I have no power over its acceptance or rejection. Like my father will say, "Nobody can pay her price. Neither is she for sale."

Is the price fixed or does the father decide how much it is?

mekaboy:

Is the price fixed or does the father decide how much it is?

Well, i can't speak for others but 'we' had a wedding last year and the bride price was determined by the bride's family...totally different from her sister's. It was a very little amount but it was returned back to the groom's family. Fixed or no fixed, it is not a transaction.

Caracta:
Well, i can't speak for others but 'we' had a wedding last year and the bride price was determined by the bride's family...totally different from her sister's. It was a very little amount but it was returned back to the groom's family. Fixed or no fixed, it is not a transaction.

Returned as in refunded.

mekaboy:

Returned as in refunded.

I prefer the word "returned", right on the spot.

Caracta:
I prefer the word "returned", right on the spot.

I hope you know that the pride price is is not only the money, it consists of the list of requirements that the groom is suppose to provide before the marriage, sometimes the content of that list is 100 times the cash given.

mekaboy:

I hope you know that the pride price is is not only the money, it consists of the list of requirements that the groom is suppose to provide before the marriage, sometimes the content of that list is 100 times the cash given.

Yes i know...but i feel labelling that act as a business transaction is an insult to the married folks. Marriage means different things to different people. If yours is going to be a transaction, who am i to argue with you? Whatever rocks your boat.

It is just until recently that women began to have a say as to who they marry. In the past the groom deals with the parents, pay the price and the woman follow them home.

You come back home one day and see some visitors with drinks and your are introduced to the man and you follow him home.

Even in the bible days, most marriages was between the man and the girls father. You can see from the story of jacob that worked for seven years and was given the wrong woman, he worked another 7 years to get the one he wanted.

mekaboy: I am not talking about long distance marriage. I mean 2 people living in the same city, have their places, get married and move in together. Is it a must? Why can't they be married and still live apart?

The idea of living together for ever is what scares a lot of men, including me. That is why a guy can date a girl for 20 years and not propose.

Assuming a guy is working and has an apartment, and the girl is doing the same. When they get married, if they afford to maintain their apartments, why can't they continue living separately. The lady can come spend time in the guys house anytime but can go back to hers. The constant presence of the couples kills romance.

Even when the kids come, they can stay anywhere they like. I have not seen anyone do such that is why I ask.

The living together can suffocate someone. I am the type of person that feels like being alone sometimes. As the feeling of coming home to an empty house something is nice. Knowing that you won't have any visitors, no movement just you.

How do married couples living together cope with the lack of alone time? Some people will say you can have separate rooms, but that's not enough space. You can always bump into each other in the corridor.

Is that why most married men travel to chase contract? What of those that have jobs that don't allow them travel?

One can be married and still have that dating feeling, where you gf comes with a bag and you welcome her. She stays for days or weeks. And you drop her off in her house and return and still chat and know how she is doing. You can go and spend time at her place. You both have clothes in each others house.

Is it possible to be married and still maintain the dating experience?

Op, marry me?

kool J:

Op, marry me?

Lol, do you share my philosophy?

mekaboy:

Lol, do you share my philosophy?

Why else would I ask you to marry me?

it can be possible what then what would be the reason for getting marriage if you still wana stay in separate homes

Monicasque: it can be possible what then what would be the reason for getting marriage if you still wana stay in separate homes

Lol, to legalize the relationship. Change of name, have kids, have lawful sex. According to the bible sex outside marriage is a sin. So moving in together is not the primary reason for marriage.

kool J:


Why else would I ask you to marry me?

First I have to be sure that you share this philosophy out of choice na not situation. So I will like to know ur age and a pictorial view of yourself. Then we take it from there.

Can't believe anyone can imagine this arrangement at all. it's absolutely ridiculous. you can as well stay on your own and avoid marriage all together. The wisdom of man is foolishness to God. anything to alter the original plan of God is satanic.
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mekaboy:

Bros, na you write this thing so? Lol, anyway I don't think it has anything to do with naija women, most people in the western world don't last in the union.

I think naija women are more enduring, but this generation that get there ideas on marriage from movies, series , magazines and western celebrities, will soon start to follow the final destination which is divorce.

Anyway your explanation was cool at first, but when you got into the soul travel, it became scary, and sounded like marriage was an occult practice.

I was being lyrical. soul travel or occultic stuff never intended..
"journey into the soul of anoda person" = knowg somebody more as u interct with them ,their emotional habits,
personality, interests etc... not occult stuff.

kambo:

I was being lyrical. soul travel or occultic stuff never intended..
"journey into the soul of anoda person" = knowg somebody more as u interct with them ,their emotional habits,
personality, interests etc... not occult stuff.

I get your point, thanks