DIVINE JOKES
EPISODE 1
(Bayo is eating in his room when his phone rings – his classmate is calling him.)
BAYO: HELLO! Who dey talk? … oh my guy! Wetindey happen now?. You wan wetin? Invite me go church? (he chuckles) Wait make I ask you now… se babes dey plenty? Den dey! … e don do now. howe go be now? se you go come my house come call me abi?
(THE NEXT MORNING- SUNDAY)
Bayo is present at THE CHURCH INTERNATIONAL (TCI). He watches everything that goes on in the church and turns his head many times – looking at the sisters.

PASTOR: Now, we are going to pray with faith. (he quotes Mathew 7:7 and Jeremiah 33:3; and charged them to pray.)

BAYO: holy spiritdey this church o. God I get faith welwel. You sabi as e dey go now.pastor talk seywetin we ask you go give us. Choir don sing sey “there is something that makes me come into your presence…’ I just need three ba…

PASTOR: Pray to God. He can do all things. Luke 1:37 says “for with God nothing shall be impossible”. Pray pray.

BAYO: (very silently)God, see that short lady, black, robust, fitted back and front,wey do ipakoelede on top in head, make I get luck get am. See dat one wey tall, slim, light, wey do suku on top her head, I like am.

PASTOR: Jesus says what ever you ask in my name I will do it. Pray to God who sees your heart.

BAYO: God, se na true? Ok. In jesus name, God dat one wey no tall, no short, wey lead choir sing for front, I like am, in get eji self. God don bless me yafunyafun.
(BAYO OPENS HIS EYES AND CLOSES IT.)
Hey God, you too good. Pastor talk am seywetin Solomon no ask you give am. I open my eyes see say anoda babe dey look me with one kine eye. I get in message now. God I increase the number to seven. I no go break their heart, I go just dey play my game… God I beg, I no get number again o, babes too plenty for this TCI oo. My own don better. Na this TCI I go dey come. I go forget Tope, Sade, Funmi, and all my babe, na angelic heavenly babes I go dey follow now.

To be continued.


EPISODE 2
PASTOR: Now you are going to pray that God should nullify every attempt of the devil to destroy my life. Isaiah 7:7 says ‘the word shall not stand nor shall it come to pass’. Pray, especially you young women, know that there are many boys or guys that are setting traps to get you. Devil wants to disgrace you…

BAYO: Hey! Wetin this one com dey talk now?edey contradict imsef. God, I beg, no mind am, make we dey talk dey go jare.

PASTOR: Pray that any thought, any plan, any spirit, that wants to feed on my virtue must die, die, die, die. Any man any woman…

BAYO: e be like say devil dey pursue this mumu pastor. Eknow no wetin in dey talk. God which side you dey? No be for Adam you create Eve…?

PASTOR: Ladies, some married men are there to devour you, and some single will deceive that only you are the best. They forget that there was only one Adam for one Eve…

BAYO: God, I go vex o. tell am sey make in stop am now. e no read am sey Abraham your friend marry Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah? E don forget say na four wives your beloved Jacob get. Isaac namumu. David and Solomon and many many like that nko, how many wives you allow dem get? I beg jare as I dey talk…

PASTOR: Finally, you will pray “God destroy those that want to destroy my life. Any body who expects my fall, God kill them, by fire by thunder. Pray!

BAYO: (he shouts angrily) Pastor, you dey wicked o. wetin now.
Everybody in the church is surprised. All members open their eyes and look at Bayo’s direction; some turn their heads backward or sideways.)
Why all of una come deylook me as if sey I be albino. Pastor Killer,(he points at the Pastor) devil dey pursue you?
(TO BE CONTINUED)