It is not uncommon to find couples who genuinely love each other getting caught up in a web of deceit and infidelity. As much as we are emotionally tied to our spouses, the truth is that it takes more than that to stay faithful. Couples make the same mistakes over and over again, then they wonder :How did it all go wrong?

The following are truths which i think couples should take note of and observe to reduce the chances of either of them falling into infidelity.

i. Marriage is not the end

Do not think that because you are married, you will not find other men/women attractive. It does not end with marriage, you will still find attractive people all around you. It is all about how you handle it.


ii. Your spouse is your only friend from the opposite sex

For the man, cut the phone calls with other women unless it STRICTLY has to do with business or work and does not go on for long periods, no text messages either. If she is not your wife, she is not your friend. That means you should not discuss private matters with other women. If you want to talk to a woman, talk to your mother or sister.

Keep discussions with other women, straight to the point. This means no flirting AT ALL. You might think it is harmless but the lady might not feel the same way. You are only in charge of your emotions.

The same applies to women, keep a stern voice if you need to. Keep discussions straight to the point and brief.

Like they say, one thing leads to another. You don't want to start that 'one thing'.

iii. Make yourself pretty for your spouse

It seems when couples get married, they stop looking good for themselves. They look good when they go out but within the house, they are a mess....

Imagine a man comes home every day to see his wife looking disheveled. This same man is bombarded by temptations outside the home and he comes home to see his wife looking 'anyhow'. Dress up for your husband, put some cologne on before he comes from work.

And men, take a shower and smell good in the home.... Try to always look the best for your spouse.

iv. Your best friend is not your spouse's friend

Most of the time, Infidelity occurs with people that are close. Your spouse's best friend or Your spouse's brother or sister. Your best friend is not your spouse's friend, keep the required distance. Do not be too cordial with your husband's friend or brother. Do not complain about your husband to his friend or brother. Talk to your father, if you need to talk to a man or talk to a professional.

Keep the barriers up in your relationships with these people. Be cordial but do not break the barriers.

If you were all friends before you got married. The man seizes to be your 'friend' after marriage. Be cordial and friendly but keep limits.

v. Make your relationship beautiful and keep it beautiful

Surprise your spouse from time to time, take vacations and long walks. Do not keep a grudge, resolve all issues before going to bed.

Once an issue is settled, DO NOT BRING IT UP AGAIN..... Start afresh..... Always start afresh after every conflict.

Vi.Segregate parties

If you have a house party, let the females stay together most of the time and the males together. You take care of bringing the food to the males while your wife takes care of the females.


Vi Switch the phones(& all forms of technology) off at night

Many times, actual communication is replaced by gadgets. Switch the phone off at night (Say from 9pm), shut down the laptop and just talk(unless, you are a doctor and could get late calls)

I have heard stories of men spending their nights on youtube when they have a home to run. Communicate as much as possible, your home is your priority



These are just a few things, hopefully someone finds it useful.

this is one eye opener!

Number three especially makes ma d1ck weak.

baffles me how they all go wet and wavy when you guys were still dating and all of a sudden , because you are now married, feel they can tie wrapper in you home! yuck.

and as Goddons jokingly said, though very true, they go wearing pants that are larger than bedspread. hang two on a drying line, and the line is totally occupied. they totally forget there is something called sexy lingerie in dah shopping mall.

.....tell them also, that gone are the days men go happy to see their wifys all full and round. that is no evidence of gud living no more. hit the gym

.....tell the newly wed that the first pregnancy period is a trying time. they should as much as they could let the man have a feel. because, most cheating start at this very times. the wify locks up, his third leg wano offload and bliv me, there are always alternatives out there.

first time i'm ever seeing tbaba make a non-religion related post, wow.

is this tbaba from muslim section?

It is not uncommon to find couples who genuinely love each other getting caught up in a web of deceit and infidelity.

true that.

tpia@:
first time i'm ever seeing tbaba make a non-religion related post, wow.

is this tbaba from muslim section?

lol, I could have made this a religious post as well..

yes it is tbaba

tbaba1234:

These are just a few things, hopefully someone finds it useful.

Yea, hopefully someone will find it useful

tpia@:
first time i'm ever seeing tbaba make a non-religion related post, wow.

is this tbaba from muslim section?

A couple of his threads are in the sport section

I DON'T AGREE WITH MOST OF THE THINGS UP THERE!
THE ONLY THING THAT PREVENTS INFIDELITY IS DISCIPLINE, PERIOD!
If you're not ready to discipline yourself, if you like, pick a race when you see somebody with boob*s and yansh, your legs would just fail to work one day

All of the above requires discipline and will not put you in a compromising position to begin .

@tbaba - segregate parties during a house party almost made it religious. anyway nice one.

tbaba1234: All of the above requires discipline and will not put you in a compromising position to begin .

Sir, some of your points are quite shallow and for how long would they last?

Your second point isn't it at all. So, I shouldn't have any friend that's female again because I'm now married? The ones I met before I met my wife should be shoved into past tense? Like seriously? I don't think so.
Fine, things wont be as they were when I was single and I would ensure my wife is my best friend but I would have other friends that are females. I would even ensure they become my wife's friend and boundaries can be set but no one is an island...not even a marriage.

Let me just stop my rant here.

If there were rules to this infidelity thing, most men and women will remain faithful. Ain't no rules, some men have made up their minds that they can never sleep with one woman for the rest of their lives, never, so no matter how slim, sexy beautifful the wife is, dude has got to do what he has got to do. Some women have vowed to let the sexy young ones keep them feeling wanted, so let us leave all these rules. It takes a strong will and discipline and principle to stay faithful to one person.

na lie joor

Good-one,Chief Imam of Nairaland. Dont agree with all your points though

If you want your marriage to succeed please heed to this advice 100%

op kudos

your words are true. we pray..... a man who fears God he will instill discipline in us

Nice write up but I don't believe in them, there's no tips to avoid infidelity,it has nothing to do with these rules

there is no real way to not cheat or should i say keep your spouse from cheating.
temptation is real. it's just like slymm said "It takes a strong will and discipline and principle to stay faithful to one person." That's not easy.

i think we need to accept that no man or woman is perfect and will
make mistakes.

the real issue is how to deal with the after math.

ofcourse i am not married so i am just talking but..that's how i see it.

A good post, I agree with it, especially the 3rd point.

HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY DAILY JOB

Adanyebe: HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY DAILY JOB

fubbyy: Nice write up but I don't believe in them, there's no tips to avoid infidelity,it has nothing to do with these rules

exactly.

Thrash and thrashes....

Very correct and true GOD HELP US ALL!

Hmmm!

10ks bro, cos 'm getting married soon. I will write and keep somewhere. Lol

Marriage thread,let me read nd gain more xperience...

tbaba1234:
i. Marriage is not the end
ii. Your spouse is your only friend from the opposite sex
iii. Make yourself pretty for your spouse
iv. Your best friend is not your spouse's friend
Vi.Segregate parties
Vi Switch the phones(& all forms of technology) off at night

Feels like a chore to me. Faithfulness is boring but sometimes necessary...

Good point.

I remember one story my aunt told us about her hubby,she is also of the school of tot to dress sexy and smell like Chanel for her hubby all the time.she did this for months after her marriage ,they had there routine "sex" and there was never any wow moment . One day she went to d salon and finished late ,she got home started making bitter leaf soup in her kaftan and finished late so both her and d house was smelling of OGIRI ,for d first time,she wasn't able to take her bath and air the house before her hubby came back but she said that was the first day her hubby bleeped her like she wanted it.NOTE :she was wearing an un sexy kaftan,she was naked under her kaftan,she was smelling of Ogiri and bitter leaf n that turned d guy on so bad.the point is learn who you live with ,everyone have there own story and how they react to things . If you want to follow these rules please do but don't see it as the only way to stop fidelity. Just do your best,do unto others what you would like them to do to u and be happy !!!!! If you always find the good side of everything and smile,believe you are going to have a happy marriage.

Vi Switch the phones(& all forms of technology) off at night



Switching off your phone at night is not advisable,what if there is a family emergency?probably your brother or sister wants to reach you urgently

devour129: I remember one story my aunt told us about her hubby,she is also of the school of tot to dress sexy and smell like Chanel for her hubby all the time.she did this for months after her marriage ,they had there routine "sex" and there was never any wow moment . One day she went to d salon and finished late ,she got home started making bitter leaf soup in her kaftan and finished late so both her and d house was smelling of OGIRI ,for d first time,she wasn't able to take her bath and air the house before her hubby came back but she said that was the first day her hubby bleeped her like she wanted it.NOTE :she was wearing an un sexy kaftan,she was naked under her kaftan,she was smelling of Ogiri and bitter leaf n that turned d guy on so bad.the point is learn who you live with ,everyone have there own story and how they react to things . If you want to follow these rules please do but don't see it as the only way to stop fidelity. Just do your best,do unto others what you would like them to do to u and be happy !!!!! If you always find the good side of everything and smile,believe you are going to have a happy marriage.

Is truth. I rada nyash sweet housegirl from calabber villege dan all this unilag babe dat look like sandine fish!

None of these would stop a cheat from going on with his/her craft. My advise for tha guys is, look before you leap because, you cant make a LovePeddler a housewife...yo!.....osewa, stop changing ma words....I never used a lovepeddler, I used wh*re.