number 10 is so on point

this is so true oh, I remember back then when I was in jss3 and I complained of headache my dad practically rushed me to the hospital asking our doc to check if I was pregnant, and they also expected you to always comes first in class, if you do you will be given the chicken lap to eat then me and my sibling always struggle to come first, and my dad always claim he was the best student in his time not until one day his friend who was also his childhood friend came to spend d weekend and he also claimed to come first in the class, my little brother then asked who then comes second since both of them always comes first, my dad just drove us inside the room to sleep. tat was d end of I am always d top in my class from my dad.

All parents claim to take the first position during their school days,I wonder who was in the last position then.

harmlessphil:
this is so true oh, I remember back then when I was in jss3 and I complained of headache my dad practically rushed me to the hospital asking our doc to check if I was pregnant, and they also expected you to always comes first in class, if you do you will be given the chicken lap to eat then me and my sibling always struggle to come first, and my dad always claim he was the best student in his time not until one day his friend who was also his childhood friend came to spend d weekend and he also claimed to come first in the class, my little brother then asked who then comes second since both of them always comes first, my dad just drove us inside the room to sleep. tat was d end of I am always d top in my class from my dad.

your own na chicken lap you are very lucky
....mine was head of the fowl I no use that one play at all if no head no chicken be that ooo bt I dey feel you

Omg,you are 1oo percent right.let me add mine

i remember as a pre teen one boy in jss 3 sent a love letter to me.there was no phone or social networks then and he put the letter in one colourful enveloped,perfumed it and sent it througj a juniour in jss1.when i read the letter he sent to me ' you are the love of my life,i cant sleep without thinking of you,you are the most beautiful girl i have ever seen and other bull sh1t like that,i was so happy i kept the letter so closely and when i got home my mom asked me to remove my school uniform and go and spread it on the railings.meanwhile the letter was inside my school uniform and i forgot it was there and so the letter fell off my pocket while she was washing clothes,of course she saw the wind blowing it off and she said shewa go and bring that paper ( in my mind i was like moku o) i said it is just rough paper and she said abi ori awon ale baba e daru ni,i said go and brinmg that paper that flew off from your pocket.if that paper should go i will kill you today.

Anyway i chased the letter and gave her.she read it out and stood up to adjust her wrapper again.she said ha shewa otiku leni.ti awon ota e mati baje. i was already vibrating.she said so because you are already growing breast,you want to bring pregnancy into this house abi.she started beating and biting me.she said dont you know if a boy start sending letters to you he will touch you and if he touches you,you will get pregnant.it is today i will kill you.so you have started following boys you want to waste my money abi

the woman beat me like tomorrow no dey.when my dad came back from work she showed him,my dad said so you want to get pregnant abi.otirinrinkurin,oya kneel down since then,they changed my school to all girls school
today when i remember,i laugh at my self

R ur parents educated?

Bunsky:
This thread is just hitting front page, since may 2013.
Nawao

Patience is a virtue

I remenber being, flogged mercilessly by my dad, when i was caught peeping into a neighbours bathroom, and enjoying d view, Gosh, dat night ws horrible!

Wen ever my mum is eating meat she will not put everything in her month oh she will cut small nd be chewing den she will stretch her hand as if she is giving u if u mistakenly reach out for d meat Hmmm u will receive serious slap dat can blind u she will call u ole,oloju kokoro another one is body language if we go visiting if dey offer u food or drink no mata hw hungry u re u can't eat d food cos my mum is busy warning u wit her eyes not to eat,one day I ignored her nd took coke in her friend house she was smiling nd luking at me wit bad eye I knw within me dat am dead oh but I drank it she dint allowed me to finish she told her friend we re leaving infact she dragged me wit my ears home I regretted drinking dat coke I was my mum nd dad's topic for days,my mum will always buy over sized shoe,dress for u if u complain she will tell u dat u will grow nd meet d cloth or u mistakenly brake her plate she will shout tani yen ha u have broken all her plate main while u just broke 1 oh Hmmm my dad is no go area.

No 10 on point. That funny times when ur mum will be shouting ur name all around the compound like somebody is about to slice her throat...and when you answer,she will either say,"I just want to comfrm that u are around", or "go to the kitchen and cut those vegetables for dinner". It seems the shout is sweet to them.

In addition to the above, in house, he that breaket cryet. If u break a plastic item, God help you, if u break a breakable plate or ceramic plate, hmmmm God sef go tire for the beating wey u go receive.

In reality, all these help to me us Africans and help to groom us to be better people than the uncultured white. It makes social vices more intolerable and alien in our societies.

U are so right,I guess their training helped most of us turn out well. Children of nowadays have no fear at all cos parents these days don't have such time and alot has changed. God bless our parents.

juxtabayano:
SoSo True.Number 10 ehn so pisses me off.chai.

Like seriously, my dad does Dat a lot

No. 5 and 13 so on that.

one more thing, they always tell you they were the best in academic during their days.

Haha... O my God I remember my experience my mum asked someone to shaved my hair(SS3) with razor because my sister reported she saw me talking to a guy,words finished. I did not say a word or raised my head while she was talking or else I see sparkles of lights. I sat down jejeje until he finished. she later went back to the boy and said “if I ever see you with my daughter again anything you see you go take like that” Hmmm...

damiso:
Love it.
Exactly my parents to a T esp the academics part.I got 6 A's at SSCE but a P in maths(my weak link)that P cancelled out the 6 A's automatically

u too,where were u when others were getting A's in maths?
i wont spare u here either

African parents and their soldier-like behaviour...got much love for them.

27 When you have a visitor you mum brings out coke and biscuit from nowhere... African Mums can hide anything and even google wunt find it

bigiyaro:
In addition to the above, in house, he that breaket cryet. If u break a plastic item, God help you, if u break a breakable plate or ceramic plate, hmmmm God sef go tire for the beating wey u go receive.

nor be small thing Oo...

This is hilarious. You so correct and on point. You swept me off my feet with laughter...

They're all facts!
Thank you OP, I was thoroughly entertained

So do funny.xpecially d aspect of bn called tobring remote...I remembered a tym b4 I got Married,a friend came tovisit and I was cing her off.my mum kalled m on fone and sd dara nibo lo wa, I sd mo sin ore mi lo ni ma, she now sd joor. Sare wa nisisiyin, d way she sd it was so urgent I hd to excuse my frnd and ran bk home...she was in her room wre I lefy her b4, and she sf bami mu remote tv yen wa.confused I started looking for it around d room, d next tin she sd was se oju e fo ni se ori ni iwaju mi ni.i saw d remote wre just stretching wld hv fetched it.i looked at her, pikd it and gv ut to her, and she sd se o mo pe mo fe change station yen ni...I didnt speak to her truout dt dday.paarent sha.

The month my cycle made first appearance was probably the most embarrassing talk day of my life wit my parents, I never knew I had more coming. Got to know later that I had irregular cycle, so for the next three months my parents practically ask to see my sanitary towels. Ish...

Anyway month four, cycle went AWOL, pekele pekele didn't even know dad was marking calendar for me o, after waiting one extra week, I was told to produce that bloody tin or die, I told them I didn't not do anything to it, that it's only taking its time, it will come ooo.

When my papa package the koboko's and pankere finish, na hin I wan run, mama just grab me started biting and screaming and beating me that I have brought disgrace to her, for face me fight you apartment, people arrange come dy ask if I get Belle true true

After long hours of interrogation, I don't even want to go there, it was agreed I go for pregnancy text first thing the following morning. No food for me and I was made to kneel down wit my hands stretched out till day break and woe betide me if I dare urinate before dawn my mom threatened.

After text, doctor says no Belle for urine and blood and I should come back in two weeks time. Imagine the idiotic blood making a grand entrance that same evening.

Also fear of my papa lecture made me opt for the sciences, so when he gets back in the evening and asks 'kilo ka' i'll say 'moka chemistry' that man had his suspicions, then he says to always date my personal tutorial time for him. He probably figured I was showing him the same thing always.

Lastly, don't lie to my father, he asks you of any wrongdoing u'had done before he gets back tell him first and he'll decide on how best to punish you fairly, if you wait for any mischievous neighbour to come and report you, then you will be punished unfairly again and again till kingdom come.

Mehn packaging nonsense and telling him it's chemistry or physics just makes me lol suddenly at times. Not good times though not at all...

N0. 7.. I xo much h8 it being d last born.. Nd ur brotha wil wrong u, they will ask u to appologise

That number 10...I never understood it...my mum must be d worst offender. Sth will drop from her hand, instead of bending to retrieve it, she will yell for someone to come pick it up....at her feet oh. Sweet mum...we teased her endlessly about it when we grew older.
Numbers 4, 13, 15 and 22 too. Respect is a big deal in Africa....esp elder to child.
My humble submission

@Nobody u cracked me up....am in tears! OMW

I had an F in C.R.K.

My dad had to invite our pastor.

nickz:
what can i say??

smart parents raise smart children
there was also the tactics of if you broke something very expensive or spoilt something.....once he comes back,just rush and start washing his car......pull off your shart a sprinkle water on your head to make it look like you're over-sweating
chances of recieving beating 2/10

Bros nah, Wetin I do u, my belle o, see as my next door neighbour, Mama chidi just dey look me like say I don kolo

obowunmi:
I grew up African but I never went to church and I don't know how to cook.

Ur parents must be a native doctor in dat case. Cos in africa, its either u go 2 church or mosque or shrine.

Abraham2013:

Ur parents must be a native doctor in dat case. Cos in africa, its either u go 2 church or mosque or shrine.

Why must you include my parents to the conversation. .. I answered a question. Do you want me to lie?