Here's yours, Flowshow. .

i aint trying to win this battle ~ because am already declared the very best
am just here to show everyone~ that your the wackest among the rest
the opener was o.k, try multis - 'very best' could be rhymed with 'hearing tests' or something

i come from naija land ~ where flowshow is blazin hot
u got a draw and u think u stinkin hot~ we all know u simply nut (not)(0)
the first line was just a filler, the next was nice, it had internal rhymes as well

even with your bullet proof vest on~my slugz will shatter your fcukin chest off
face first ~ stab your breast~cut your throat~ to make your lungs rest
the first line rhymed, good control of rhymes
the second one was forced, and it din't rhyme
RAP means Rhythm and Pattern. . so can it be called RAP when the rhymes are missing??

multis and metaphors no other rapper can flip those
you is a fake 'drug' cus you lack 'dose
decent bar. . but still could have been worded better

flowshow is the winner~ macaroni is the loser
i drop more beats than fruity loops producers
didn't work for me, i'm sorry. the 'winner-looser' bit sounded childish
the next line - really i got what u meant, but u could have worded the line better

my flowshows come in convoys ~like punches delivered by oliver mccall
like dry lands on wet rivers ~ macaroni's punchlines 4ever lie fallow
what exactly is a flowshow?
and how does 'Oliver McCall rhyme with '4ever lie fallow'? * methinks your dialect/accent is interfering with your pronounciation

u couldnt spit ill ~ because chocolate is the only bar u swallow
your rhymes are shallow~cus u grew horn like bufallos
nice internal rhymin but the second line didn't correlate - how did the 'horns' he grew affect his rhymes?

my punchlines severe~ makes u catch cold ~ to make ya body shiver
flowshow is the soul reaver ~ you is the gay mister~ the queen of sheba
cool. . nice for a filler

throwin punchlines for u is harder than nigerians flashin text messages
asking of u is like asking bout a boxer~ who never knew ali existed
that din't rhyme, no matter what dialect's interferin with ur speech
other than that, it was a good punch

your style might be fly ~ but am an eagle ~ your a fcuckin penguin
stick ya head into your mothers pussi ~ send u back to your origin
rhymes are important, that's why most Nigerian rappers don't make it to the Grammy stage

they call me flowshow the cobra~ but i think i am the stingin viper
markolini rhymes are nasty~ like uncleaned poops from his momma diaper
i wonder y 'yo mommas weren't banned in the Star Warz, but anyhoo. . the bar sounded elementary

they said am the illest~ but i think i surpassed that
cut u to bits ~zip you up like mp3s in ipods
nice punchline. . but no rhymes, and they are very short in length compared to your other bars

squeeze ya neck till u give up~turn your lungs to gizzards
because me beatin you ~ is easier than chinese eating lizards**
were the stars** implying something?? it think the bar was O.K nothing more/less

I want hiphop heads to record the time and date markolini turned to macaroni
with one single line i will have him shaking hands with makavelli, u wonder why?
Guy, please the Rhyme and Pattern is what we are after

dam nur u ekam lliw that enil a tog I esuaceb <<<-read this backwards***
this was damn forced, very unneccessary

ma fav. bar:

multis and metaphors no other rapper can flip those
you is a fake 'drug' cus you lack 'dose

i think you could do with takin your rhyming into consideration a lil more

thanks shaz.   100% certified surgical analysis
others can bring theirs for surgical operation

@shaz
if wanna ask if i could do a lil surgery on ur star wars verse , is its ok wit u?

surgical operation on shaz verse vs dathreat , here it is

@Dathreat

Brid planted you against me, he prolly forgot that you'd need a bridge to reach me
You're just a threat, i'ma make you stretched, so pale, leave this bruva screeching
ur opener is like a continuing story, didnt really hit hard, line was kinda long tho.coulda been shorter wit a hard impact

Ma mind is BURN-VITA, rich, dark and best served hot
I'm very different from the mutherfucker bitch that u suck
nice creativity in that , but sounds an kiddy infant line

Your punchlines?? It's full of dawgshit
The only time you hit right is when u're rubbing your clit
punchlines full of dog shit? that dont connect, how does punchline and dog shit relate? word mixture is kinda poor.
hit right rubblin clit?? no connection really

this battle's not yours because i'd make blood bleed from your pores
dathreat - what a lame name, the only thing u threaten is a white doll
hmmm, words not really hittin hard,,,, rearrangement and word power is highly suggested

what i'm spittin will break you, i'm here to shake you
i'll just call the reaper up and get him to take you
rhyme scheme you-you, but nice short lines on the reaper linker

i'm baffled, just don't get it, u can't compete - you're nonsense
realise i'm sicker than projectile vomit after eating contests
good scarce rhyme nonsense-contest great thinkin. vomits like projectile in an eating contest great metaphor, but the first line could have been harder.instead of baffled dont get it?

'Datwretch' wouldn't respond. Why not? He ain't got shit planned
I'll keep hittin this ho till he can't stand no more, understand??
dont understand , whats ur point here really?

I'm so prim & grim, ma rapz dangle your head with a 'bar' like u were in a closet
ONE TIP: Before you drop, shut up, your mouth's dirty, bitch, Wash IT
hmm, grim reaper, ok? but dangle head in closet, remove the bar and put head str8 and rephrase does it sound ok? prolly does

Not really in the mood, but got drop some quick isht
explains why the verse wasnt as sick as we would expect , nonetheless u still won . i guess a queen is a queen for life .regardless thumbs up
if u had battled someone like tianshe or the 2 star generals you would have been floored real hard with a baby verse like this .the advice here is if u aint in the mood , dont even drop yet instead o droppin something below average. thumbs up anyway. respect

i want to thank shaz for the rap analysis
what more could hold us together~if not symbiosis
its great to know~ there's someone to always count on
practice makes perfect, so this rap battle would be won
no one else deserves that lyrical highness but makavele
am about to go platinum, bout' to hit the TV
am trying to change the way the game is played
i aint a mutha bleeper~ aint like a LovePeddler that is' always getting laid
june 23 brought about the birth of a hero
i'm like genie, its time for some mirror mirror
i think it time to hit ma bed, clock says nine-fifty nine
will talk later~been long i saw alexpissu~
tell him i said hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

it's cool with me, mind if i gave feed on this one too??

i want to thank shaz for the rap analysis
what more could hold us together~if not symbiosis
you rhymed right. . good use of vocab

its great to know~ there's someone to always count on
practice makes perfect, so this rap battle would be won
good rhymes again

no one else deserves that lyrical highness but makavele
am about to go platinum, bout' to hit the TV
no rhymin scheme, and text battling/rappin is different from the visual/audio ones, so i ain't really seen the TV relevance

am trying to change the way the game is played
i aint a mutha bleeper~ aint like a LovePeddler that is' always getting laid
could have been worded better, the LovePeddler part seemed forced

june 23 brought about the birth of a hero
i'm like genie, its time for some mirror mirror
no, no, that wasn't decent at all. . the mirror, mirror tautology was not even genie's but Snow White's step-mum's. . if u're gonna do sims and all, get the facts right first or you'll just kill the verse

i think it time to hit ma bed, clock says nine-fifty nine
will talk later~been long i saw alexpissu~
tell him i said hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
O-K ending. . since the verse was casual
And yeah, Alex is making some kritikal decisions now, I'll send ur hi's , lol

feed coo food nee *yawns* y'all bore me.

what did u study, @shaz?

@shaz, please feed me on this:

Read the rules~it says the forum is moderated
When am through with u, you'll need to be amalgamated
am da illest who's ready to send you downtown
and when am king, even hybrid would have to step down

Markolini is the craziest wack on our planet
while makavele is ready to flush him down the closet
niggaz have seen your obituary on a piece of pamphet
my hands are made to take your eyes off their sockets

Saucekid warned you to back off, he aint got patience
he figured u wanted to make trouble like a nuisance
dissing markolini is just my preference
like isaac newton , i studied "dissing science"

i aint using metaphors, so i won't kill you
like a stubborn child, its time for your curfew
am on my way to the church, its time for some breakthrough
shaz don't judge me, aint your momma who practices voodoo

You's lucky I'm free today, lol. Here goes

Read the rules~it says the forum is moderated
When am through with u, you'll need to be amalgamated
Two lines lines with nothing to relate them together. . I feel the first line was not meant for this piece

am da illest who's ready to send you downtown
and when am king, even hybrid would have to step down
Good filler, rhyme scheme is there

Markolini is the craziest wack on our planet
while makavele is ready to flush him down the closet
planet doesn't really rhyme with closet. . and the two lines still don't sync

niggaz have seen your obituary on a piece of pamphet
my hands are made to take your eyes off their sockets
Delivery/Presentation is a keystyle in Rappin, maybe you should have your bars re-arranged and better worded like. .
Makavele is damn ready to flush this dude down the closet
A sign?? My hands were made to unplug your eyes from its sockets
The deal is done, i got niggaz reelin out your obituary on bale of pamphlets
I'm the don, the new era, the rap dawn, leavin you torn like a still-born rapper, life-less

Saucekid warned you to back off, he aint got patience
he figured u wanted to make trouble like a nuisance
[color=olive]I ain't feeling that, sorry

dissing markolini is just my preference
like isaac newton , i studied "dissing science"
Remember this is meant to be a battle, innit? Newton didn't study science, he found 'gravity' and explained 'forces' so if you made a simile that followed the theme of 'gravity' you would have had a nice bar.

i aint using metaphors, so i won't kill you
like a stubborn child, its time for your curfew
You keep making reference to 'killing' this guy, tell me, which of your lines was good/hard enough to do this. .the first line was unnecessary, but the second one would have been better as an opener

am on my way to the church, its time for some breakthrough
shaz don't judge me, aint your momma who practices voodoo
hmmn. . i thought u was dissin Markolini, or which of the Maka's. . plus, there's still no correlation and that's no way to end a verse. imagine if Nas was to do a verse and leave it open as you did, would you have liked the song?? Work on your flows, figures of speech, humour and remember to correlate your lines. . and by the way, i was goin to tell you, separating your lines after 4 rhymes was unneeded, it made your verse look like a poem or a hymn, d'you get me?

@shaz,

as Eminem said" We continue growing, one day at a time."

Can you feed me on this, its kinda like a poem.

J-Unit, youz a motherfcuker with poor rhymes
its clear am the ruler, i drew this battleline
aint got time for stories at bedtime
u're just a starved wack who comes beggin
whenever its my mealtimes
i aint like God, but my lyrical power sublimes
you look like an insane nigga we know by the name Tee-prime
go try doing something better , say, try mimes
before u get catabolized by my lyrical enzymes
i bleeped your momma. the cops know it aint a crime
so stop looking so grim, i believe my d**k was in its prime
opportunities come once in a life-time
go grab urs, because you aint got a dime

I know, I'm still learning too

J-Unit, youz a motherfcuker with poor rhymes
its clear am the ruler, i drew this battleline
Nice line, tbh

aint got time for stories at bedtime
u're just a starved wack who comes beggin
This killed the effect of the opening bar, it was unnecessary

whenever its my mealtimes
i aint like God, but my lyrical power sublimes
Same case as the one above, it is not needed, although the rhyme is there this time

you look like an insane nigga we know by the name Tee-prime
go try doing something better , say, try mimes
Wasn't feeling the first line at all, there's no need to rhyme what doesn't correlate

before u get catabolized by my lyrical enzymes
i bleeped your momma. the cops know it aint a crime
before u get catabolized by my lyrical enzymes
That shit was dope. . keep it coming
Then next line was not that cool

so stop looking so grim, i believe my d**k was in its prime
opportunities come once in a life-time
go grab urs, because you aint got a dime
First of all, your verse is one line short, it's not a good thing for any rapper. . that's just like a clown forgetting his red-nose on the stage, d'you get me?
Next, you dissed yourself

I believe ma d**k was in its prime
This could be read to mean that the only time it ever worked was when fuckin a momma. . meaning you're (complete the sentence yourself)

Anyways, I think you got potentials, not that I'm in a position to judge tho

shaz can u feed me on this

am markolini/n am gonn slash u like samourai X/
i walk/ wit d magnitude of a tyranosaurus rex/
like magnito/ am gonn smash to point of extincto
am gonn beat u till u become granulated sucreno/
by GOD u'll be sorry u paired wit one as ill as me/
i'll cut u bits n pieces barbecue n feed to pigs/
my ish'll cut so deep in u your wounds'll never heal
u'll be weepin on your knees beggin GOD to help u please/
when u spit u make a drizzle/when i spit i cause a storm/
i bring hurricanes and cylones down to flowshow's doors/
when u stand n battle me u'll need a life replacement/
cuzz when my punches hit u'll be buried in 13 caskets
am d real thing u juss a goddamn pawn on my chess board/
i dictate how u live and then squash u wit my skateboard/
send a slug up your spine, scatter u like versace/
i'll beat u home n away like d bluez beat farnabache/
i try to come clean when i drop my ish n punches/
u run your dirty mouth at me i'll light u up like torches/
no bitch can go free/ when u break into my solitude/
dayyum maine/u know i got problems wit ma attitude
cuzz flow u so wack u had a Phd in wackitude
your show ain't flowin no more cuzz i blocked it wit my magnitude/
now u learnt your lesson,nxt u hear my name scram/

n this

nairaland made a funeral/brid be d priest/
i be d killer/cuzz i sent u sixfeet/
there's a rain o punches u bathed in your blood/
slugs fly like sixteens some aimed fi your skull
u is d game,i hunt d game, i tell u how it is made
blocked your vision flow/now u smell like rotten cake/
your life's all fukced/rotten as a can of dead fish/
u gonn need a coffin when i hit u wit ma punches/
u so low/ popos got u beggin 4 their kokos/
poke n stoke your bloody soul, u blown up like my yoyo/
bitches want to act like cats u snitchin on da kingpin/
i'll order u be skewered n barbecued like u pig meat/
am your god d one who states da way u lead your life/
i'll squeeze life out of u maine/ u gonn be still as ice/
been to hell n back like i was keanu reeves's constantine/
my ish'll give u scars like d edge of an open steel tin/
it's dumb o u flowbitch, fi you pick a beef wit me/
when am done shootin u/ your blood u going to skeet/
your life looks like d aftermath of september 11/
it's so bloody wasted u won't smell the gates of heaven/
my mets'll flay like u had a bath in boiling water/
your show'll stop flowin cuzz u be crawlin in d gutter/
your life's a joke livin it like u carry a yoke/(OX)
am gonn help u snuff it out n squash it like a yoke/(EGG)
u juss a clone the real u died a long time ago/
bitch buried in qiuck sand cuzz your sry ass stoned/
u know u can't throw punches/ like mohamet ali/
u juss one stupid fool/ like your local bash ali/
there's nuffin in your block head than a cup of mamas pee/
miked with a little poo that came out from your pig/
u can't associate,your perfume made of skunk spray/
u brain is made up of nuffin/ but shit n dried hay/
your mama knew u'd be like this she had your mouth bridled/
now it's runnin at d wrong dude i'll smash it like a timble/
it's odd when u live life like u spat 30 bars/
when u know your whole life u gonn live behind bars/

I really got go bed now but I'll do this first

am markolini/n am gonn slash u like samourai X/
i walk/ wit d magnitude of a tyranosaurus rex/
the slashes in between your lines could stay out. . there was no need for i walk / wit d magnitude . .
other than that, it was a good opener

like magnito/ am gonn smash to point of extincto
am gonn beat u till u become granulated sucreno/
In the cause of rhyming, try being accurate. If memory serves me well, Magnito dealt with iron bodies because he had the electromagnetic field around him. . had it been that u added somehting to deal with iron and magnet, t'would have been very cool. . and you're rapping in English, not Latin, there's no such word as 'extincto', so you might as well put it in inverted commas for next time

by GOD u'll be sorry u paired wit one as ill as me/
i'll cut u bits n pieces barbecue n feed to pigs/
nice bar, no more

my ish'll cut so deep in u your wounds'll never heal
u'll be weepin on your knees beggin GOD to help u please/
Educate me, how does 'heal' and 'please' rhyme??
And if that you think that was a punchline, let me tell u, it din't even reach the radar

when u spit u make a drizzle/when i spit i cause a storm/
i bring hurricanes and cylones down to flowshow's doors/
Good command of similes, nice punch but you went and killed it with rhyming 'storm' and 'doors' together

when u stand n battle me u'll need a life replacement/
cuzz when my punches hit u'll be buried in 13 caskets
Rhyme, bruva, rhyme. . and you're meant to be punchin him not sayin 'I'll punch' or 'When I punch'. . Imagine two boxers in a ring, one is throwing fists mercilessly at the other, the other one is in pain, but still shouting, 'i will punch you'. How does that sound?

am d real thing u juss a goddamn pawn on my chess board/
i dictate how u live and then squash u wit my skateboard/
The first line of this bar was great, but the next was not on the same level. . it was dry

send a slug up your spine, scatter u like versace/
i'll beat u home n away like d bluez beat farnabache/
Scatter u like Versace?? now, who u gon scatter someone like a clothing label?? You din't word that well, i suggest you re-arrange that line, then put a tab on your rhymes

i try to come clean when i drop my ish n punches/
u run your dirty mouth at me i'll light u up like torches/
Filler line. . nothing good about it, just a normal 'throw-in' line, no goals

no bitch can go free/ when u break into my solitude/
dayyum maine/u know i got problems wit ma attitude
Come to think of it, if this was a physical battle, that would have been a killer bar but it's text, so the gravity of that was not felt, good one tho

cuzz flow u so wack u had a Phd in wackitude
your show ain't flowin no more cuzz i blocked it wit my magnitude/
Using the word 'wackitude' which doesn't exist makes you look wack. . and wtf?? you used magnitude twice in the same verse. . you jsut dissed yourself

your show ain't flowin no more cuzz i blocked it with ma magnitude

That makes you sound like you are a fat, overweight person (think of the rest yourself)

now u learnt your lesson,nxt u hear my name scram/
No incomplete bars make a rapper worthwhile. .



Then The Next One. . I'll have to make it 4 lines each, because they are short

nairaland made a funeral/brid be d priest/
i be d killer/cuzz i sent u sixfeet/
there's a rain o punches u bathed in your blood/
slugs fly like sixteens some aimed fi your skull
slugs fly like 16s?? and no, that's no way to open a verse, reconsider

u is d game,i hunt d game, i tell u how it is made
blocked your vision flow/now u smell like rotten cake/
your life's all fukced/rotten as a can of dead fish/
u gonn need a coffin when i hit u wit ma punches/
I luvved the first two lines, the rhyme was there, it was a damn comical piece but the next was 'forced'

u so low/ popos got u beggin 4 their kokos/
poke n stoke your bloody soul, u blown up like my yoyo/
bitches want to act like cats u snitchin on da kingpin/
i'll order u be skewered n barbecued like u pig meat/
i don't get what 'yoyo' you're referring to, if its the normal one, they don't blow up, point of correction. . and why recycle the barbecue line? you used it in the first verse above . .
i'll cut u bits n pieces barbecue n feed to pigs/

am your god d one who states da way u lead your life/
i'll squeeze life out of u maine/ u gonn be still as ice/
been to hell n back like i was keanu reeves's constantine/
my ish'll give u scars like d edge of an open steel tin/
even the first line of this bars was used in your former verseand nothing spectacular in your verse

it's dumb o u flowbitch, fi you pick a beef wit me/
when am done shootin u/ your blood u going to skeet/
your life looks like d aftermath of september 11/
it's so bloody wasted u won't smell the gates of heaven/
You had a good concept with the third line but what followed it din't correlate, the rhyme was there tho

my mets'll flay like u had a bath in boiling water/
your show'll stop flowin cuzz u be crawlin in d gutter/
your life's a joke livin it like u carry a yoke/(OX)
am gonn help u snuff it out n squash it like a yoke/(EGG)
I think 'yoke' would be an 'hex' not 'ox' to make better punchlines and don't rhyme the same word. . makes your verse downgraded

u juss a clone the real u died a long time ago/
bitch buried in qiuck sand cuzz your sry ass stoned/
u know u can't throw punches/ like mohamet ali/
u juss one stupid fool/ like your local bash ali/
Don't even go there, this was wack , sorry to say and why is everyone like 'Mohd Ali this', 'Mohd Ali that' come up with new things and stop the recycling, thinking wouldn't deplete the ozone layer

there's nuffin in your block head than a cup of mamas pee/
miked with a little poo that came out from your pig/
u can't associate,your perfume made of skunk spray/
u brain is made up of nuffin/ but shit n dried hay/
Dissin people's mama's is all old story except you got a hard punchline to force into it. . plus your lines are no disses, they are like empty words

your mama knew u'd be like this she had your mouth bridled/
now it's runnin at d wrong dude i'll smash it like a timble/
it's odd when u live life like u spat 30 bars/
when u know your whole life u gonn live behind bars/
Thimbles ain't meant for smashing, they are meant to help with needles in tailoring, so that line din't go down well with me,

You know what, try rhyming better and relating recent incidents, and issues , even current affairs to make your punchlines, it's something I'm weak at but I think you can do it

@shazzzzzzzzzzzzz

nice thing u doing hurr . . . let me drop a lil something for u to work with aight


grabs the mic . . . .


Salute ur boy brid /netcees b at eaze,/
My ryhmes sting like killer bees/crush this lil’ wannabe mi’s/
Hy(high) leave ‘em careers shorter than mini-mi’s/
I am legend/prepare ur WILL b4 u battle me/
Recycle netcees/me . . I be that cat that make u bleed/
Burn netcess like cd’s /squeez em like can drinks/
never play fair/Bitch u like kennis did tu-face for p-square/
My words are hard-ware/hell yeah/
Will be one year sinced u passed on next year/
brids still hurr son/I aint going no where/
Am so hot men/smoke detectors go-off when I grab the pen/
Smoked boys to men/brid flipped from superman to supermen/
Ten out’a ten I hit the city like food scarcity/
Knock u out with the mic stuck in ur chest cavity/
Hybrid felony / murder ur whole bleeping Calvary/
fear factor wen u watch what my mic do/
Star warz mine boy I got the C of O and the title/

Tx for the priviledge of feedin this, lol. I'll try make it as snappy as can be

Salute your boy brid /netcees b at eaze,/
My ryhmes sting like killer bees/crush this little’ wannabe mi’s/
Cracking opener. . the flow was there but the multi at the end of the second line seemed forced. . cld have been better if you said 'me-wannabes' or somn

Hy(high) leave ‘em careers shorter than mini-mi’s/
I am legend/prepare your WILL before u battle me
[color]Relative simile. . Will Smith in I AM LEGEND. . it worked, and nice rhyme[/color]

Recycle netcees/me . . I be that cat that make u bleed/
Burn netcess like cd’s /squeez em like can drinks/
The 'netcees' repetition was killing this piece and the similes din't clique much. . just a normal filler bar

never play fair/Bitch u like kennis did tu-face for p-square/
My words are hard-ware/hell yeah/
So Kennis runs P-square? Didn't know. . lol, that's outside the question, tho. . the first line was cool. . but the next was just empty. . like 'hardware'? how relevant was that to the bar? and the 'hell yeah' bit made the line just too short . . maybe you could have added something like FIFA when it comes down to 'fair play', something to do with soccer, d'you get me?

Will be one year sinced u passed on next year/
brids still hurr son/I aint going no where/
The first line, I had to take a double-think about that, good wordplay - senseplay, more like, lol. . the next was just explaining the first so that just made the bar perfect

Am so hot men/smoke detectors go-off when I grab the pen/
Smoked boys to men/brid flipped from superman to supermen/
The first line was nice. . I just din't get what the 'superman to supermen' bit was about in the second line

Ten out’a ten I hit the city like food scarcity/
Knock u out with the mic stuck in your chest cavity/
There's no such thing as chest cavity, you could use cardiac cavity or something to do with the heart, in case of next time. . but I think this is ma fav. bar so far

Hybrid felony / murder your whole bleeping Calvary/
fear factor when u watch what my mic do/
Star warz mine boy I got the C of O and the title/
Is it just me or most Nairaland rappers forget to end their bars properly?? One line is not a bar and cannot serve as a closer . . And what does 'murder your whole bleeping Calvary mean'?? But never the less, your lines were nicely-worded, much props

thanks shaz u d best, wat i meant by "scatter u like versace" his bits will be scattered around like versace clothlines, the clothline is everywhere

@shaz
can u feed me on dis too

it's a battle o wits maine i ain't gonn loose out
i got flossin in ma bloodstream let it flow like i did south
cold metal on your temple blow your skull into tit bits
take life out of em bitches flush your soul like shaukhan will
i hit u wit ma punches n make a river of crimson
i'll let it flow to d niger wipe your name outtta history
from d heart beat of the nation i was born to be raw
i be blastin through time wit em bitches life in ma claws
u fukc wit me ama light your head up like light poles
send u to d D(devil) tell him u bleeped wit d wrong soul
it's obvious when i spit my ish it sets u ablaze
u'll burn like a rabid rabbit wrapped in d raze
soaky soaky my dickk juss left a hole in your moll
ill be back muthafucka 2 come claim your soul
fukc that shit when y'all say hiphop dead
bitches squeezed d fukcin life outtta it more on this thread

@ everyone + me

Please, don't overload shaz,,,cos she aint a computer,
one request at a time,

makavele:

@ everyone + me

Please, don't overload shaz,,,because she aint a computer,
one request at a time,

@makavala
seems you dont know shaz, cheek processes at the speed of a pentium Z.

I would have come on earlier but I've been busy since morning. . and it's iite, I can deal with the verses however they come, it's what some have done to make me better

it's a battle o wits maine i ain't gonn loose out
i got flossin in ma bloodstream let it flow like i did south
There's one thing about Rap, you have tomake sure you say the truth and not make up fictional tales, like having 9"s when u don't, or flipping shows when you don't, d'you get me?

Apart from that, the flow was great

cold metal on your temple blow your skull into tit bits
take life out of em bitches flush your soul like shaukhan will
The first line was great. . but no, the second line was not on the level. . Let me point something out

cold metal on your temple blow your skull into tit bits

Now watch the emphasis on the rhymes below

cold metal on your temle blow your skull into tit bits

These are the keywords you should consider if you really want to rhyme, if you just want to focus on the end part 'tit bits', you should have tried rhyming it with 'nitwit' or 'biscuit' or something that flows with that. . if you wanna focus on the other words, then, that would have to be for internal rhyming. . For more information, check my article - Multi Rhymes To Improve Your Raps http://sharn06.forumsland.com/sharn06-about284.html

i hit u wit ma punches n make a river of crimson
i'll let it flow to d niger wipe your name outtta history
Rhyme and pattern, bruv, I don't see this, although you've good lines when put on their own

from d heart beat of the nation i was born to be raw
i be blastin through time wit em bitches life in ma claws
Just a filler line, cool with me

u fukc wit me ama light your head up like light poles
send u to d D(devil) tell him u bleeped wit d wrong soul
The repetition of 'light' in the first line made it kind of weak. . and the next one could have been worded better, good bar tho

it's obvious when i spit my ish it sets u ablaze
u'll burn like a rabid rabbit wrapped in d raze
the second line was 'forced', seemed you just wanted to rhyme at all cost. . and please, don't go to battle with these lines, they don't hold no water

soaky soaky my dickk juss left a hole in your moll
ill be back muthafucka 2 come claim your soul
You've used th word 'soul' to end one of your bars in this same verse, it's unethical. . and the 'soaky, soaky' bit was not needed, and how can you leave a hole in the moll?

fukc that shit when y'all say hiphop dead
bitches squeezed d fukcin life outtta it more on this thread
Good closer. . and true too, this is ma fav. bar


Hope I did u justice now, lol

[center]::Hi!! Y'all mizzed me?::
::::Its that dude that got mad skillz like Dj Tommy'z wheelz::::
:::::Been on a project for a while now,but its nice to know that sanity is back here::::
@ All
::::Just a curious question--Is Shaz the person as "SHARN06" coz i missed her::::
::If its her welcome back gurl,missed ya ugly azz!! Honestly::
:::Although i am not fully back but its great to see ya bunch of pussies still battling:::
::Craze greese to y'all elbows folks::
::Much love::[/center]

@Shaz
I'm feeling your shizzle
I might drop in to do sum lil work here sumtime

murder your whole bleeping Calvary

That's like, you know when Christian defended against the muslim invasion in Spain
They used to call themselves 'the calvary', as muslims were 'jihadists'
This is a kind of line you'll expect from the Talib Kweli's and Nas's
Good one Brid


@Hybrid
Maynne, I'm stealing you 'I am Legend' line for my new signature
Waiting for your permission though

@shaz
thanks agains, keep up the good work

@eldee

permission granted bro. . . ,


@shaz
dropped that one in a hurry . . . .but am post some of my old lines for analysis though . . .am donne doing rymes . . .am more into investing in the industry . . . . diddy style

this too shaz

when i logged into d forum it was murder he wrote/
n when u try to skeet on me/ there'll be blood on my coat/
not my blood, not her blood, but your blood on my coat
cuzz i don't see myself dissin a nigerian goat/
u juss on pussy ass nigga wit the mind of a roach/
live your sorry life like u's a fairy tale toad/
i'll murk u like it was the hills have eyes 3/
take your soul to the devil like johnny blaze will/
your aftermath'll look like hurricane mitch/
your lifes a glitch filled wit stiches n shit/
hey sauce, what do u think o u ending as my dinner?/
u haven't got a choice,sauce, u prolly in my burger/
shred u wit a sickle like i was d grim reaper/
spray em slugs n scatter u like arnorld shwarzenegger/
sauce? i never knew sauces rap n speak english/
u should be on my grain/ or gone wit pepperoni/
your punches are so lame u like d pigs in kalahari/
i'll end your dirty life slit ya throat with blade n tight ish
i'll be your worse nightmare cuzz u walked into my kill web/
a broke butt nigga smell like u sellin poo ware/

Sorry I kept long with the feedback, weekends are ma busiest hours. . anyways, here goes

when i logged into d forum it was murder he wrote/
n when u try to skeet on me/ there'll be blood on my coat/
Murder who wrote?? I'll try to take it as you were referring to Sauce. If that's the case, then, your second line was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off, could have been worded better, I mean the 'n when u try to skeet on me' part, you could put something else there.

not my blood, not her blood, but your blood on my coat
cuzz i don't see myself dissin a nigerian goat/
Nice lines but they would only pay in a face-to-face battle, cuz then you'll be able to say the 'not my blood, not her blood' bit, but the repetition in text makes it look a bit dry

u juss on pussy ass nigga wit the mind of a roach/
live your sorry life like u's a fairy tale toad/
FILLER LINE. . nothing much

i'll murk u like it was the hills have eyes 3/
take your soul to the devil like johnny blaze will/
same as above, it's no WoW line

your aftermath'll look like hurricane mitch/
your lifes a glitch filled wit stiches n shit/
One advice: Fillers are good only when you're rappin normally or freestyling on your own, but when you're in a battle, you fight like the other person(the soldier) is aiming slugs to your chest, you do as much as possible to 'punch' him down

hey sauce, what do u think o u ending as my dinner?/
u haven't got a choice,sauce, u prolly in my burger/
It was OK

shred u wit a sickle like i was d grim reaper/
spray em slugs n scatter u like arnorld shwarzenegger/
[color=olive}COming to Rap Grammar, if you wanna make citations, be sure to get the names right. .do some justice to people's nomenclature. . and btw, this is a nice line but it is very unreal and untrue. .if you need me to explain that, lemme know [/color]

sauce? i never knew sauces rap n speak english/
u should be on my grain/ or gone wit pepperoni/
I'm just not feelin that, 'English' & 'Pepperoni'??

your punches are so lame u like d pigs in kalahari/
i'll end your dirty life slit ya throat with blade n tight ish
Is it the harsh summer or I'm just in a harsh mode now?? Whicheverways, if you don't rhyme, forget the whole bar. . I've a battle just due to the fact that I dint rhyme ma bars. . if u need to see, i'll post a link. .pls & pls, this line was just a filler again, what's wrong with you? You're meant to be fighting not making comparisons alone

i'll be your worse nightmare cuzz u walked into my kill web/
a broke butt nigga smell like u sellin poo ware/
No rhymes again. And what the eff is poo ware?? If I was to rate this verse, I'll say it's the worst you've dropped so far. . 1.5/10