hi shaz, can u pls judge this 2 verses against each other. honest opinion based on normal judgement criterion

@F-show

Bitch da name is MALTHUSS better remember that
better yet forget that mess that u's a malfunction so r ma fix that
i got that sic wit it flow u just a sick homo
flowshow should've done a no show 'cause am stealin this show leave him screaming oh no!
only time u flow is when u blow nigga poles
Malthuss known for rippin many foes
battling me is like tourists visiting ghettos, bitch that a no go
Bleep flowshow put ya in a 'ho'show got u fuckin for no dough
leave you stranded like ticket touts 'cause am making this a free show
this nigga cumin at me with 'em fcukin trash lines
You need more than braces to straighthen up your wack rymes
stick to what u know best keep givin niggaz head shines
am gathering nairaland clouds to watch me reign on this fool
King Malthuss da mic checker u's a court jester only fit for ma footstool
kick freestyle that'll cause heatwaves in radio stations
leave u several shades darker than slaves in plantations
u want to battle Malthuss 'cause u think it brings u fame
u can bounce on trampolins and still fall short of ma game


against this verse :

@malthius

flowshow be da master~ flows unbelievable~ drop more rhythms than id kabasa
this matth nigga raps like simba da lion king , animalistic momphassa
lyrical show caster~ flow makes mallthius motionless like an NTA newcaster
flowshow's heavyweighted ~malltius bars are bantam weighted~ a total disaster
mallthius be the hoodrat~ like hoodboi talking trash ~u shld get the skin rash
punk this rat~ make him fart~ like hummer exhausts puffin super mario kart
malltuis bars are like hybrid judgements delivered without analysis, simply lame!
flowshow da majesty~ matthius quacks like wack ducks~ what a shame
this fool is an irony like 2face preaching condoms ~what a felony
am diabolical like 9ice speaking vernacular~lyrical melody
like ruggedy baba ft eedris ~this nigga collabo infects others with lyrical wackness
matthius defeating flow is unheard of ~like noises made by deaf silence
rhyme schemes intelligent~flowshow da word doctor like the general vent
like mallthius rod, his rhymes are similar to his manhood ~simply bent
flowshows daisy~malthius bars lazy~ like morning fogs ~so hazy
like ''others people property'', ama run this nigga down like am ''crazy''**
wordsplay iller than thuggacations pap~slay this dj like kay slay twice
ma flows comes first ~matth second~ama make this nigga come third like ""obie thrice"" (3times)
lyrical sickness~none iller than flow~my shows postpone like soap opera intense
metaphorical giant ~i keep more nairas than hybrid's bank accounts in suspense
i spit ill~more retarded than bjbroke~my multis make u choke~like a nigga on coke
your punches vague~ so extinct like the girl group en-vogue ~flowshow multis are like spirits invoke!
your punchlines are decayed~ like the nigerian society
mallthius is a bitch~ his pussi shaking ~like he got anxiety
my bars are processed`like pentiums in mode9 ~ bars deeper than six foot
add plus to my shit and get six foot + like am flowshow from da swat root**
big mouthed matthius is an easy nut to crack ~you is like julius agwu~simply a joke
old sch battle giant now a fcukin dwarfer~nigga is hard to break like an egg yoke !
my last bar leaves yall wondering~ is flowshow a fortune teller?
i play this nigga like my tarot cards~because with hyrid's extra 48hrs~ he still wouldn't reply

I'm sure this verse was on the Star Wars thread, I hope you're not asking me to counter Brid's Judgement here because the grading system depends on the judge's mind most times, and he's not a machine, you should expect flaws of some kind. Anyways, here goes. .

MALTHUSS' VERSE

Bitch da name is MALTHUSS better remember that
better yet forget that mess that u's a malfunction so r ma fix that
That was a very weak opener and the rhyme scheme was crap

i got that sic wit it flow u just a sick homo
flowshow should've done a no show 'cause am stealin this show leave him screaming oh no!
Just a filler. .  nothing to pen home about

only time u flow is when u blow nigga poles
Malthuss known for rippin many foes
If Mal thought this was a wordplay/punch bar, he must have been mistaken. . the line could have been worded better, e.g.

Only time u make flows is when u blow (nigga) poles
The addition of the 'make' added more sense and humour to it. . and basically, I wasn't feeling the next line, it's something a toddler could come up with

battling me is like tourists visiting ghettos, bitch that a no go
Bleep flowshow put ya in a 'ho'show got u fuckin for no dough
The simile was there, twas nice, a nice punch

leave you stranded like ticket touts 'cause am making this a free show
this nigga cumin at me with 'em fcukin trash lines
Now, how the hell does 'free show' and 'trash lines' rhyme?? Without rhymes, you are lost, although the first line had a clean punch in it

You need more than braces to straighthen up your wack rymes
stick to what u know best keep givin niggaz head shines
Two good punches but they are not properly worded

am gathering nairaland clouds to watch me reign on this fool
King Malthuss da mic checker u's a court jester only fit for ma footstool
In attempt to make a line, Mal just killed this bar. . i mean he ruined it

kick freestyle that'll cause heatwaves in radio stations
leave u several shades darker than slaves in plantations
Why you talking bout radio stations in a TEXT 'BATTLE' for?? The next line was great but I really wonder, could it be that ol' Malthuss has gone all rusty??

u want to battle Malthuss 'cause u think it brings u fame
u can bounce on trampolins and still fall short of ma game
'You can bounce' . . that should have been 'If you bounce'. . Anyways, it was a nice closer for me


FLOWSHOW's VERSE

flowshow be da master~ flows unbelievable~ drop more rhythms than id kabasa
this matth nigga raps like simba da lion king , animalistic momphassa
Dunno who 'id kabasa' is so that I can't judge properly, I'll just take it to say he deals with beats/rap or something with rhythm, and the 'flow was on show' but not used properly, you got your Lion King facts twisted

lyrical show caster~ flow makes mallthius motionless like an NTA newcaster
flowshow's heavyweighted ~malltius bars are bantam weighted~ a total disaster
How can you come to battle and can't spell you opponent's name right??
And nice comparison

mallthius be the hoodrat~ like hoodboi talking trash ~u shld get the skin rash
punk this rat~ make him fart~ like hummer exhausts puffin super mario kart
'getting a skin rash' for 'talking trash', understandable. . but the next line was just forced to make use of multis, well, that din't work for me

malltuis bars are like hybrid judgements delivered without analysis, simply lame!
flowshow da majesty~ matthius quacks like wack ducks~ what a shame
You dissed your judge, which is an unstated rule in battles, never, ever cross your judge

this fool is an irony like 2face preaching condoms ~what a felony
am diabolical like 9ice speaking vernacular~lyrical melody
Nice multis and similes, seems you're taking the Rap basics into consideration

like ruggedy baba ft eedris ~this nigga collabo infects others with lyrical wackness
matthius defeating flow is unheard of ~like noises made by deaf silence
great bar. . no more, no less

rhyme schemes intelligent~flowshow da word doctor like the general vent
like mallthius rod, his rhymes are similar to his manhood ~simply bent
You could have worded the first line better, e.g.
flowshow the word doctor, treat this stray dog (Mal) like the general VET

flowshows daisy~malthius bars lazy~ like morning fogs ~so hazy
like ''others people property'', ama run this nigga down like am ''crazy''**
'Flowshows daisy'?? I'm sooooooooooo not feeling this bar, ty

wordsplay iller than thuggacations pap~slay this dj like kay slay twice
ma flows comes first ~matth second~ama make this nigga come third like ""obie thrice"" (3times)
Could have been better, but i luvved the second line

lyrical sickness~none iller than flow~my shows postpone like soap opera intense
metaphorical giant ~i keep more nairas than hybrid's bank accounts in suspense
Dissing on your judge again! That is a no-go area . . apart from that, the bar itself din't really make sense

i spit ill~more retarded than bjbroke~my multis make u choke~like a nigga on coke
your punches vague~ so extinct like the girl group en-vogue ~flowshow multis are like spirits invoke!
I must say you really got the multis goin well

your punchlines are decayed~ like the nigerian society
mallthius is a bitch~ his pussi shaking ~like he got anxiety
You don't diss (disrespect) your country, bruv, that's another point to mark you down

my bars are processed`like pentiums in mode9 ~ bars deeper than six foot
add plus to my shit and get six foot + like am flowshow from da swat root**
didn[t get were that was heading to, sorry

big mouthed matthius is an easy nut to crack ~you is like julius agwu~simply a joke
old sch battle giant now a fcukin dwarfer~nigga is hard to break like an egg yoke !
'nigga is as hard to break as an egg yoke' . . i know that's where you were goin. . nice simile ther too, great bar. . prolly my feav. bar in this verse

my last bar leaves yall wondering~ is flowshow a fortune teller?
i play this nigga like my tarot cards~because with hyrid's extra 48hrs~ he still wouldn't reply
you spoilt your whole bleeping verse by not rhymin this last line. . the most important bits of a verse- opener and closer, then the middle piece is next. . anyways, I wasn't feeling this closer, it's not on the level of the bars above


STATISTICS

Punchlines - Flowshow

Personals - Both

Flow - Flowshow

Metaphors - Malthuss

Similes - Flowshow

Opener - Flowshow

Multis - Flowshow

Closer - Malthuss

VERDICT

This might be due to the fact that Flowshow had a lenghtier verse but I think Malthuss din't put no effort in this and that's why it ain't really to brag bout schooling people and all that shit. . Brid might have graded you on his mood/perspective and you won but evreyone else knows who held this for real, innit?

Case Closed. _lol

hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . . .

HYBRID-X:


hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . . .

@hybrid and shaz
i actually wanted to see if i was the only one feeling cheated. shaz analysis says it all. i guess hybrid was too busy with work so he couldnt read or analyse both verse hence he just dozed out 4,4,4,4, to flowshow and 7,7,7,7 to mallthius. anyways the result of flowshow vs mallthius is now clear with shaz analysis. i am not a trouble maker so i will accept the result by hybrid in good faith so that we can have peace and the star wars thread to progress. at least i am compensated openly by shaz analysis and result
respect shaz and hybrid . good job well done.

@markolini

my advice, go to www.rhymer.com
and learn how to make rhyme!

Oh! Shaz, i presume u would've been the world richest, if there had been a course like "Lyrical-Surgery" Cos u're really holdin it down up in here. More grease to ur elbows girl. . . . . . . . . . . . Keep on keeping it real. . . . . . . I think everybody needs u.
Do some operation on this for me pls, it's a dance track. . .


Huh, huh, check ds out, check ds out,

Yo! I've seen wars that chokes and ones that killed dreams
Ones that murders ambition like it's some war films
And now d war is over maybe it's taking a break, Dude
Go get yourself spruced up put on your stepping shoes
It's gon be party party party, if u're down for d groove
If u can't move, i'll suggest u tap your foot
Party poopers are not welcomed, No! It's out of bound
Get crazy when u hear em beat, and rap sound
It's getting hot right on here, d.j's puttin it on d ground
You can bounce all u want, u can step all u want
You can move & groove all u want, but don't carry no guns
Under this roof u may find 'em LI0NS 'n' em pest
No bulshittin, no killin and no bloodshed
I'm flaggin d white banner, i got peace on my chest
Drop d hatchets, drop your mallets for your best interest
I've been a soulja all my life now i'm taking a short rest

U know i've got more comin. . . . . i'm sorry if i've got too much on ur desk

And this. . . . . . . .


___________Alexpissu_________________
Forbiden sins am clenching fist to weaken this midget
He his back to his usuals spitting flawless like pregnant Bridget
I hear his silent screams cause he be soaked in his dream
This newbie aint getting d picture like smoked screen
Am ever current like electricity am sending shocks 2 his feets
This gay on Rap section trying to turn pro raping cripples in streets
You voicing da rock-band chorus won't entitle a record deal
I got lotta cats wanting to murder u have to tell them 2 chill
Son i drop science like a kid who was born in the Lab
You aint worth my bar i'mma get u evicted with my shift Tab
Wave your shadow goodbye cause am operating your brains wit slug
Ask Nairaland am more dreaded than a Jamaican thug
My words are too vivid for this punk 2 capture
This rap is my creation I'mma have him ready 4 rapture


Against this. . . . . . . . .

______________Crude_________________________
Dawg u're making me feel like a heavy weight champion
But a cat and his back-ups can never murder this Lion
I'm a newbie, soaked in my dream to put u off d throne
You don't belong there, u gotta get your ass on the phone
And call em, kingmakers tell 'em the rightful king is in the zone
Go ask 'em in Jamaica, i kill 'em thugs for game
your ma let u out, but she dint say, "Cross crude's lane"
your fist is hard, for my 2yrs old baby not to feel the pain
From your punch, now u Sucker aint that a dissappointment?
D only bar i see u got is located in the local pub
I'm cleanin up my kits ready to slash your filthy ass up
Watcha got to say, Hey u got to say it quick Dawg
I'm tired of watchin u dumbin n mumblin out faint words
Ok, i'ma close my eyes i'm not lookin, 1, 2, go, burst
My flow is petrifying and scary enough to seal up your lips
This guy's libido's high, he come when Shakira shakes her hips
He's not a rapper, he's a bugger tryin to feel among the streets
I can step on u bare-footed, attack u without my fleet
your homies'll dedicate a track for u titled, "Crude aint good"
Sorry, it aint my fault, in my hood it aint good to be good

I haven’t done this in like three years. But I was doodling in class and I kept think up funny lines so I figured I’d write them down. BTW…I couldn’t get the ROC boys beat out of my head so that’s kind of like a template.
Here goes

I’m in the building tonight
Oh what a feeling, I’m feeling nice
You aint even gotta bring your boyfriend out
We could turn the lights off and play “who’s in your mouth?”
Spit game, I’m filthy
Need shower? Bruh I’m grimey
Slimey?
Flubber like, I’m ashy
crack elbows,dry skin see me
Need mana? Eat rappers
No silverware, lack manners
2 girls 1 cup sick
dirty like Kirk Hirnrich
Plague sick, yersinia pestis
lyrical assault charge?
don't press this
Like Kim Jong-iL, not humane
in your girl's face, guess who came?
I'm retarded bruh, staright insane
Rap detox, y'all cranked that cocaine
yea boyyeee!!!
I'm building tonight
Ooh, I'm flav feeling nice
love rap like chinaman love rice


Mana - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mana
Yersinia Pestis - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yersinia_pestis

SHAZ WHAT YOU THINK OF MY DISS OF MAKAVELE


your lucky im not your kid
dam right god forbid
ok kid ill tell u now
Just leave your computer and
walk away from your seat
because my rhymes are to complicated
they'll make your brain over heat
make your brain get easily snapped
eaisy hacked
passwords easily cracked
my location never tracked in s.a but
my lyrics continue to make u feel attacked
can’t even sleep
because your brain is being lyrically slapped all over the place
to be honest that is the end of the case
because its hands down who one this lyrical race
its me and I easily
stormed 1st place

Why u gon dark on me like that? I read this thread like ei'day to know wat's up, i mean where i'm wanting, but it's like u dont wanna do it for me. . . . . . .Whhy?

@shaz
Please and Please can you analyse any of my verses, on any of the rap threads. I know they aren't much but i'll appreciate it.

@crude -- the winds blown, your yash as shown

crude dude/ your just another hoe on naira land,
never breakin ground, yet u claim to be on D 12's band,
with lines so bland i don't think u'll make it to jand?
u'll never cross that kine, because your a shame to my home land.
your so fruitless, even when u work on fertile sand,
u bring no milk, even if your fixed with breast glands,
am not your average type, UR A HYPE, so don't xpect me to shake hands,
i don't make friends just foes thatz why am satan's Dad.

same nigga askin 4 collabo,
crazy nigga thinkin am Donell Jones,
forgettin am d custom of rap, u don't even make d borders,
i fly first class/ while u still suckin on your momma's chest,
pest coackroach, baygon(be gone) before u get Raid.

even if u take a rap test with dumb(p)s/ u won't still pass son,
on your wedding album/ u still not be in d picture ,
am the judge of this case/ your just a witness on the stands,
like an iroko tree, roots so deep, i don't shake on my stance,
quit rapping and maybe go in to dance,
maybe then u just might appear on TV by chance,
in one of them kola olawuyi series, lookin like a farse.

@crude now u 've been killed on a Friday

LET ME JUDGE YOU QUICKLY, YOU ARE WHACK

Sorry I aint given feed on ya stuff. . I'ma do it now that I'm less busy


Crude:


Yo! I've seen wars that chokes and ones that killed dreams
Ones that murders ambition like it's some war films

Cool

And now d war is over maybe it's taking a break, Dude
Go get yourself spruced up put on your stepping shoes

Hmmn. . okay

It's gon be party party party, if u're down for d groove
If u can't move, i'll suggest u tap your foot

Normal, nothing 'WOW'

Party poopers are not welcomed, No! It's out of bound
Get crazy when u hear em beat, and rap sound

Awful, i'm being honest, G

It's getting hot right on here, d.j's puttin it on d ground
You can bounce all u want, u can step all u want

'Ground' and 'Want' don't rhyme - this is just like a freestyle verse, it ain't got no elements of rap

You can move & groove all u want, but don't carry no guns
Under this roof u may find 'em LI0NS 'n' em pest

Still no rhymes and no elements

No bulshittin, no killin and no bloodshed
I'm flaggin d white banner, i got peace on my chest

Normal filler

Drop d hatchets, drop your mallets for your best interest
I've been a soulja all my life now i'm taking a short rest
Not a good closer at all, step up brah

___________Alexpissu_________________
Forbiden sins am clenching fist to weaken this midget
He his back to his usuals spitting flawless like pregnant Bridget
Nice multis, and nice opoener

I hear his silent screams cause he be soaked in his dream
This newbie aint getting d picture like smoked screen
I felt that punch - lexy, get ur butt to the TTT. . nice metas too

Am ever current like electricity am sending shocks 2 his feets
This gay on Rap section trying to turn pro raping cripples in streets
Nice flow

You voicing da rock-band chorus won't entitle a record deal
I got lotta cats wanting to murder u have to tell them 2 chill
Send em baq to the papaz

Son i drop science like a kid who was born in the Lab
You aint worth my bar i'mma get u evicted with my shift Tab
Nice punches

Wave your shadow goodbye cause am operating your brains wit slug
Ask Nairaland am more dreaded than a Jamaican thug
Nice punches, again

My words are too vivid for this punk 2 capture
This rap is my creation I'mma have him ready 4 rapture
Didn't really feel the closer but the verse was cool in totality - 8/10


Against this. . . . . . . . .


______________Crude_________________________
Dawg u're making me feel like a heavy weight champion
But a cat and his back-ups can never murder this Lion
Filler bar. . nothing special

I'm a newbie, soaked in my dream to put u off d throne
You don't belong there, u gotta get your ass on the phone
Nada!

And call em, kingmakers tell 'em the rightful king is in the zone
Go ask 'em in Jamaica, i kill 'em thugs for game
You don't kill no jamaicans, lying makes your bars weak

your ma let u out, but she dint say, "Cross crude's lane"
your fist is hard, for my 2yrs old baby not to feel the pain
the Punch was in the last line but you need to restructure it

From your punch, now u Sucker aint that a dissappointment?
D only bar i see u got is located in the local pub
Needs some re-wording

I'm cleanin up my kits ready to slash your filthy ass up
Watcha got to say, Hey u got to say it quick Dawg
Shit line

I'm tired of watchin u dumbin n mumblin out faint words
Ok, i'ma close my eyes i'm not lookin, 1, 2, go, burst
You tried with multis but they were forced. . tryin makin them flow properly, G

My flow is petrifying and scary enough to seal up your lips
This guy's libido's high, he come when Shakira shakes her hips
Re-word!

He's not a rapper, he's a bugger tryin to feel among the streets
I can step on u bare-footed, attack u without my fleet
Just a filler

your homies'll dedicate a track for u titled, "Crude aint good"
Sorry, it aint my fault, in my hood it aint good to be good
Nice closer . . I'd say a 5.5/10

@Shaz - Thumbs up.
Ok don't analyse my RAP, just CRITICISE IT. Am not a real rapper like that (OK). But I'll like to know how I fared. I love listenin to RAP and I tot I might as well write some few lines.,


Thx

Nosa 101, before I read your verse - it's easy to tel that ur structure ain't right and you're using elementary rhymes. . I'll give u a link later.

I’m in the building tonight
Oh what a feeling, I’m feeling nice
Filler

You aint even gotta bring your boyfriend out
We could turn the lights off and play “who’s in your mouth?”
Re-word! It's a good bars but needs words

Spit game, I’m filthy
Need shower? Bruh I’m grimey
Duh!

Slimey?
Flubber like, I’m ashy
crack elbows,dry skin see me
Nah!

Need mana? Eat rappers
No silverware, lack manners
??

2 girls 1 cup sick
dirty like Kirk Hirnrich
Boy. . you're dullin this thing

Plague sick, yersinia pestis
lyrical assault charge?
don't press this
Like Kim Jong-iL, not humane
in your girl's face, guess who came?
I'm retarded bruh, staright insane
Rap detox, y'all cranked that cocaine
yea boyyeee!!!
I'm building tonight
Ooh, I'm flav feeling nice
love rap like chinaman love rice
In all nice vocab, but pretty elementary

J- UNIT

your lucky im not your kid
dam right god forbid
Nah!

ok kid ill tell u now
Just leave your computer and
walk away from your seat
because my rhymes are to complicated
they'll make your brain over heat
make your brain get easily snapped
eaisy hacked
passwords easily cracked
my location never tracked in s.a but
my lyrics continue to make u feel attacked
can’t even sleep
because your brain is being lyrically slapped all over the place
to be honest that is the end of the case
because its hands down who one this lyrical race
its me and I easily
stormed 1st place

I can't be bothered to decipher the strucutre cuz it's messed as hell. . Elementary diss. . 1/30

@Shaz
Good work. But whenz my turn?

Javaprince

@crude -- the winds blown, your yash as shown

crude dude/ your just another hoe on naira land,
never breakin ground, yet u claim to be on D 12's band,
Lies spoil bars. . And this aint an opener. . juss a filler

with lines so bland i don't think u'll make it to jand?
u'll never cross that kine, because your a shame to my home land.
Didnt' feel nothin

your so fruitless, even when u work on fertile sand,
u bring no milk, even if your fixed with breast glands,
Nice punches, they just need re-wordin

am not your average type, UR A HYPE, so don't xpect me to shake hands,
i don't make friends just foes thatz why am satan's Dad.
Baby punches

same nigga askin 4 collabo,
crazy nigga thinkin am Donell Jones,
Filler

forgettin am d custom of rap, u don't even make d borders,
i fly first class/ while u still suckin on your momma's chest,
Duh!

pest coackroach, baygon(be gone) before u get Raid.
Shit!

even if u take a rap test with dumb(p)s/ u won't still pass son,
on your wedding album/ u still not be in d picture ,
Re-word

am the judge of this case/ your just a witness on the stands,
like an iroko tree, roots so deep, i don't shake on my stance,
Filler

quit rapping and maybe go in to dance,
maybe then u just might appear on TV by chance,
Re-word

in one of them kola olawuyi series, lookin like a farse.
Nada

@Shaz
Thanks so much. I'll score myself 1/20. And that means I should change my Department(Java) or go on Probation. When I showed my friends they all started laughin like wats a Programmer doin on rap section. Thing is I love Punches/wordpalays and multis nut creatin a Verse thatz d difficult thin

To all u Rap Headz in Nairaland - Much Respect. I admit am no Rap "Anything"

@Shaz - Thx. I'll be postin more shit 4 u to analyse - but promise to improve. Thx again.

But U didn't analyse my "best" versed.

yeah, yeah, the prince of rap is back,
all u wacks better disperse,
this a SARS letter, go on a adjust, or u might be d latter,
back to the former, hear dumb-ass, is been on d rattle,
bitch quit the sulkin, this battle is uncalled for,
your not on my altitude, am way too fly for u to explore,
am a veteran at war, u just a post-thread fighter, a fake poster,
cheap nigga seekin publicity, u wouldn't even get that from your toaster,
2 minutes nikkur, comin at me, like i was the next gay on the roster,
pleease, don't make me child-molest u, i spit adult contents.
Am the Spartan warlord, my job is to extinct u,
lyrically emblaze u, blow your ashes to the cruising high-way,
then re-incarnate u, bless u, re-state u as a doorway,
make u an eye-opener for the upcomin wack-MCs,
diss a sample, a lesson, for the new generation,
the prince of rap is back, applaud in admiration,
in desperation, am sure, u want to do a comeback,
try to counterattack, now your defense is at my dispense,
too late to seek recompense, your dead now, no more pensions.

and the second verse -

king crude, king dodo, you just a kid from outter space,
battling a self-acclaimed ace, is like fightin a lost case - u'll be left defaced,
erased,disgraced, like the rest of your wack-races - i'll leave u all debased,
calling me for battle(LOL), dude DO You think this was some WAR FILMS?
am REALITY Nikkur, am NOT some Jamie Foxxie on JAR HEADS,
You's a JOKER, charging at me like You got TIGER HEADS?
Am an ACE Nikkur, going to discharge u in a FLASH, am the illest RAP HEAD.
You is a Sewage, no need to waste time on you, i got a show to Catch,
my manager's callin, my fan's are waitin, its time to let the stage BLOW.

epilogue,
your not coming back,
ensured no post-attack,
bygone-be-bygone,
BANG!!!, CLICK!!!, BANG!!!,
You'll never mess with an Ogba Boy,
No more soilin of nairaland,
Rest in Pieces, some business needs my attention.


Don't laugh guess their lame lines but at least their my ORIGINALS

shaz feed this dis of you by whackelele

this aint about a tourney ~ it's nothing but a journey
makavele will reach the end ~ so there's no need for me to worry
am da next lyrical illest ~ and am spitting ma ' lines on shaz
put 'em on the scale ~ her weight aint up to ma' bars
i'ma go "boom" on her and make her my dog's bride
reduce her to nothingness and strip the hooker of her pride*
wack babe be getting paranoid, brain's empty~ but this is just the intro
am more explosive than TNT ~ aggresive than fans of WCW Nitro

* shaz' pride is her p****y

@Javaprince, sorry I am very busy, I'm just ruishin thingz through 4 y'all

yeah, yeah, the prince of rap is back,
all u wacks better disperse,
this a SARS letter, go on a adjust, or u might be d latter,
back to the former, hear dumb-ass, is been on d rattle,
Yo, you need to get your rhyme scheme goin and your flows too. . And yeah, your vocab - ain't no thin as a SARS letter
bitch quit the sulkin, this battle is uncalled for,
your not on my altitude, am way too fly for u to explore,
am a veteran at war, u just a post-thread fighter, a fake poster,
cheap nigga seekin publicity, u wouldn't even get that from your toaster,
Punches are embedded but they don't hit hard

2 minutes nikkur, comin at me, like i was the next gay on the roster,
pleease, don't make me child-molest u, i spit adult contents.
Am the Spartan warlord, my job is to extinct u,
lyrically emblaze u, blow your ashes to the cruising high-way,
then re-incarnate u, bless u, re-state u as a doorway,
make u an eye-opener for the upcomin wack-MCs,
diss a sample, a lesson, for the new generation,
the prince of rap is back, applaud in admiration,
in desperation, am sure, u want to do a comeback,
try to counterattack, now your defense is at my dispense,
too late to seek recompense, your dead now, no more pensions.
I lost the structure again. . But i read thruogh. . get your flows in gear. . the thing is you got the LL Cool J's sydrome - you waste most bars talkin bout you and wht you gon do that you end up not doin it, d'you get me?

shaz stop wasting time with javaprince, pls put a poll in beat down pre lim, thanks, or how can i do that myself

Lol. . I don't laff at peeps lines because to be honest, it aint beans to bust 16s, people without the knowledge of the basics of rap usu make the mistake of thinkin it is. .


king crude, king dodo, you just a kid from outter space,
battling a self-acclaimed ace, is like fightin a lost case - u'll be left defaced,
erased,disgraced, like the rest of your wack-races - i'll leave u all debased,
This is one line short of two bars. . you can't just switch rhyme scheme in the middle of a bar. . punches and metas are there. .

calling me for battle(LOL), dude DO You think this was some WAR FILMS?
am REALITY Nikkur, am NOT some Jamie Foxxie on JAR HEADS,
You's a JOKER, charging at me like You got TIGER HEADS?
Am an ACE Nikkur, going to discharge u in a FLASH, am the illest RAP HEAD.
Just fillers

You is a Sewage, no need to waste time on you, i got a show to Catch,
my manager's callin, my fan's are waitin, its time to let the stage BLOW.
Fillers and no rhymes. . try using multis and in-rhymes. . Slant rhymes would do you good too

epilogue,
your not coming back,
ensured no post-attack,
bygone-be-bygone,
BANG!!!, CLICK!!!, BANG!!!,
You'll never mess with an Ogba Boy,
No more soilin of nairaland,
Rest in Pieces, some business needs my attention.

The Beat Down pre-lim doesn't need any poll. . it's a qualifying stage. . and the votes oin the main pre-lim will be decided by Hybrid-X and him alone.

this aint about a tourney ~ it's nothing but a journey
makavele will reach the end ~ so there's no need for me to worry
Cold opener. .' no isht in it

am da next lyrical illest ~ and am spitting ma ' lines on shaz
put 'em on the scale ~ her weight aint up to ma' bars
How do weight and bars correlate. . that's no punch.

i'ma go "boom" on her and make her my dog's bride
reduce her to nothingness and strip the hooker of her pride*
How can you go boom on someone one. . Makavele lacks the right use of words and he knows it. . he''ll find out in the beat down and he also lacks structure. .The last line of this bar was a punchline due to the use of wordplay. . that was the only place an element was used. . Makavele has no control over in-rhymes, multis, flows, metas and sims and personals

wack babe be getting paranoid, brain's empty~ but this is just the intro
am more explosive than TNT ~ aggresive than fans of WCW Nitro
Forced simile. . In all I'd give the verse a 4/10

shaz's p

Thanks Shaz. I so much appreciate. I think I need a lesson on Rap.

@Shaz

Well, i'll say u're indeed a Godsent to all Nairaland Netcees, some might just frown at this, but deep down in there heart they know i'm right. Thanx Shaz, i really appreciate it. You got me go back to my Carban and Re-shuffle my lines, flows and rhymes.
But, i got a question, is it really bad if one to rhyme three lines? Cos i did that and u said it aint right. . . . . . . . . .