Lol baby girl I'll help ya by givin Ken a call on ma phone

dang!! baby gurl ya trynna spoil my aims and ambitions U're warned!

@ blue
great advice lol

im not playin hard to get
ur too busy talkn wit every1 else and im lettin u

rhoda u heard the guy, he wants u to drop evrything u r doing right now and concentrate on him

Lmao @ y'all



baby girl I don't hear warnins

@ma baby gurl lol baby gurl U'll hear when i ban U 2morrow, have U said Good0buy to Ur friendz yet??

@blue
lol U're a sweet person blue, very sweet

lol Efani , I was dying to talk to U!! i just had to take care of Mola - - -
kay!! Im all Urs now

What's that I hear?

Are you yabbin at me baby girl?

Sorry I can't hear ya - ma music must be playin too loud

Rhodalyn:

@ma baby girl lol baby girl U'll hear when i ban U 2morrow, have U said Good0buy to your friendz yet??

@blue
lol U're a sweet person blue, very sweet

lol Efani , I was dying to talk to U!! i just had to take care of Mola - - -
kay!! I'm all Urs now

lol really***grabbin her hand and takin her to my room***

Awwww how romantic Efani

lol baby gurl U're sooo damn funny

lol
jus for u

awwww bless Ur heart

Rhodalyn:

lol baby girl U're sooo damn funny

Aww bless your heart baby girl - thanks for noticing

some tips on how to navigate in America: 
1.  Want a hamburger?  go to McDonald's, Wendy's or Burger King.
2.  Want chicken?  go to Popeye's or Kentucky Fried Chicken (I recommend KFC, myself.  KFC tastes homemade).
3.  Pennies are obsolete in America.  Don't try to pay for anything with them.  They're useless. And you will definitely stand out as a "rube", or worse, you will be seen as a drug addict scrounging for any change he can get, 
4.  Only use "Cascade" in your automatic dishwasher.  Only use "Dawn" if you hand-wash dishes (really! Dawn is the best) - and you can bathe yourself or your dog in Dawn - no kidding!!!
5.  Black men - wear a uniform, business button or company cap/hat if you want to hail a cab. Sorry.
6.  Hot dogs are classic American fare.  We love them.  They are best left not to be described but are most closely related to sausage.  Most Americans eat them with mustard, however, some misguided individuals will adulterate them with ketchup. If you want to look "Un-American", douse your hotdog with ketchup, !  Otherwise, put the hotdog in a hotdog bun, put some mustard and maybe onion on it and enjoy.  You need nothing more.
7.  to Emmie4j: Please don't go to an Asian restaurant and separate your rice from the meat.  This will certainly stand out! Americans eat their food together.  Heard of "shepherd's pie"?  Do Nigerians really separate their rice from meat?  I can't even comprehend that!  Yuk!
8.  automatic toilets and sinks are a way of life in public places.  just stand up and run,
9.  guys - no camaraderie here - you can't walk hand-in-hand in America, at least not without dodging stones,
10. always exit opposite from where you entered.  if you got on the front of the bus, leave from the rear. 
11. absolutely no eye contact!  don't stare at another person - that is intimidating, or the other person thinks you're "mental".

my stories aren't that great but I've gotten bruises on my knees (they're no longer there) for slipping on ice multiple times.

I put my head on the desk once because class was really boring and my teacher thought i had passed out or something.

people asked me if there were cars e.t.c in Nigeria for like the first 6 months i was here. that's really annoying.

i don't remember the good ones now but i'll post them later.

I do use pennies to pay for things. it's not illegal or anything. I've actually paid for something with a really bad/ torn dollar bill. I'm always broke so i really don't care. it sucks for the cashier (i do it at walgreens and i think she hates me). i know people who do it to when they have no choice.

i don't like hot dogs so i never had a problem with that. what i had a problem with and still do is i eat slow (it runs in the family) i won't be half way through when lunch ends and i'll have to go through the rest of the periods with a half empty stomach. I eat faster now though. My brother is the slowest eater ever still (it takes him 1 hour to finish a bag of chips).

I used to get embarassed at a lot of things before if i don't know what something means or how to operate things.

i don't know about you guys but in my state (buses), people get out through the same doors they got in. only you can't come in through the back door (it's not open for entrance anyways).

To wesleyanA -good point -- great observation!! Walgreens is notorious for not accepting coinage - which is stupid, because there are many old people trying to pay for prescriptions with whatever they have. I challenged this with my girlfriend. She brought a bag of coins into Walgreens to pay for some medicine and the resident bitch tried to decline the payment. I'm an even worse bitch, so she didn't win, and she had to cave, and in the end, my friend got her medicine - paid with pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, all in coins. But this is NOT typical in America - always have a credit card or some form of plastic handy. Good that you are a slow eater - you know it is good for your digestion? Americans eat really fast because we usually have 30 minutes for lunch - so everyone is wolfing their food down. BAD, BAD HABIT,

Linda M.:

7. to Emmie4j: Please don't go to an Asian restaurant and separate your rice from the meat. This will certainly stand out! Americans eat their food together. Heard of "shepherd's pie"? Do Nigerians really separate their rice from meat? I can't even comprehend that! Yuk!

LOL, L.M. Yes Nigerians do that. But not all. I don't, but then again, I still do. I don't even remember asking "why?" when I was a kid and I was a questioner. It just always made sense to me, like saving the best for last.

I have a friend who once told me that his father would eat all his rice and then divide the meat on his plate amongst the children. (And these people weren't poor!) He says it was a way of sharing with the family & bringing them all together with a selfless act. I think that idea is odd & kind of sweet. (This friend by the way will not take the cherry from your sundae. He says "There are some gifts you do not take." The "some gifts" include meat in rice but Pops insisted.)

I miss the No nepa days and the fact you didnt have to pay 4 what you didnt get now theres constant light theres no excuse also abeg when im broke i take my pennies what?? wetin man gotta chop abi? another thing i noticed about america is the whole credit card bullshit abeg i have a DEBIT CARD dat way if they decline it i carry my card and go!! simple theres no use paying for sumthing you cant afford!

Excellent post, Chinani - seems that some Africans see eating a meal as a form of communion or sharing. I think that's a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, this is a custom pretty much lost in America) In American, as far as a meal goes, it's "catch as catch can". I think I am weirded out by the whole Asian restaurant thing because it's customary for one to put a pile of steamed or fried rice on one's plate and then top it off with whatever meat mixture they have. I think many Americans think that rice, without anything on it, is just gross. We're pretty much like that with all carbs - rice needs meat or gravy, potatoes need ketchup, sour cream, or butter or if the potatoes are mashed, they need gravy, and pasta always needs some kind of sauce. Just a cultural thing, I guess.

Friend of mine stayed with a family in Mali and said they served her rice, with nothing else. The woman of the house tossed pieces of fish to her, which she ate with the rice. And she ate it all with her hands. We are so looked down on here if we eat with our hands, unless it is fast food.

Hi Linda M, when it comes to eating and food, I've always got respect for the French - they're natural gourmets and take eating as a serious ritual. Junk food is not so much a problem in France as it is in the USA.

They also train their men to treat their women good but that's another story. . .

@L.M.
A communion? I've never thought of it that way, but it works. In my house, we actually have lots of rules for food & eating. Only recently am I learning that other ppl do not eat this way. Cheers!

Zahymaka:


They also train their men to treat their women good but that's another story. . .

I have female friends from France, they said Nigerian and American men treated them better!

Zahymaka - the French are legendary gourmands, indeed! You're right - they put junk food in its place - they don't revere it so much as we do in the US. I love my country, but I am afraid - we are, for the most part, frighteningly obese - we don't sit down at and enjoy a leisurely meal at the table and enjoy each other's company. Most kids eat dinner while they play video games or listen to their IPODS. Or worse - dinner is a hamburger on the go. I have to admit that I was guilty of this while raising my son. We rarely ate dinner together - he would eat it in his room, playing video games. I would eat dinner and "multi-task" (whatever the HELL that means!). I wish we had eaten our meals together more often.

Okay - now the "men" thing, do the French really treat their women good, ?

Linda M.:

Zahymaka - the French are legendary gourmands, indeed!

You mean gourmets, I'm sure. Gourmands are gluttons -- which I daresay most Americans are when it comes to junk food!

thank you, zahymaka for the correction - you're right - "gourmet" is the proper term, not "gourmand".
love to learn,
lm

Linda M.:

thank you, zahymaka for the correction - you're right - "gourmet" is the proper term, not "gourmand".
love to learn,
lm

I'm hoping I didn't come off as rude?

my experience was in my first job.

i had to rush out of work to skool to take a placement test for college so i told one of my supervisors and on my way i bought ice cream because i saw in yankee ice cream was or rather is cheap. because of the rush for the exam and back to skool i gulped the ice cream.

by the time i got back to work i met my second supervisor {a lady} and she said

"mr XXXXX you went for a quickie?"

and i yelled "yes, i just had one now"

she said "WOW! where did you have it?"

i yelled again " in the car, i had to squeez every single drop, it was the bomb men you dont rush things like that"

she was cracking up then i said "how did you know"

she said i had milk on my chin.

i never understood the real gist until the rest of us had a meeting in the evening i almost passed out!!!

I first experienced the trouble of having witnessed a freakin obese lady(possibly racist) trying to trip my bro
Damn lady she so fat it aint funny

Gosh , u guys totally cracked me up

My first tym outside naija, i was just staring at pple like, 'is he racist, is she racist?"
i didnt care tho, but most of the guys wanted to be nice to me

True, so ur also paranoid

i'm just joking

it wasnt like i was paranoid
but some little kids were giggln and pointn fingers
in my mind i was like 'i dare anybody to make any racist comment eh, '
i'll giv em a piece of my mind,

zahymaka - i realize this is REALLY a late response. No - not rude at all - I really do like to learn anything I can. Thanks,
lm