Hi there

I'm a bit confuse here when it comes dating Nigerians (meanly men's)

Is there any reason why a Nigerian lady should have her ex boyfriend, the father to her child surname on both of her facebook accounts when they are not together anymore?

How common is the usages of Nigerians surnames in Nigeria?

I can not get over the fact that my fiance ex girlfriend is bearing his surname on her facebook accounts, it annoys me so badly that he said when asked that he doesn't know either and that they have NOTHING to do with each other.

Am I going crazy over silly matters like that?
Should I be worry? Do I have the right to fuse over matters like that?

This guy is my fiance and I don't want anything to destroy my weeding later on.

Cheers
ME

Were they married? Just tryna confirm.

Red flag, be careful they may be married......

alutacontinua: Were they married? Just tryna confirm.

No they were just normal boyfriend and girlfriend.

LilMizzGood:

No they were just normal boyfriend and girlfriend.

Are you 100% sure of that.
I'm asking cos no girl OFFICIALLY bears her boyfriend's surname, let alone 'ex'...that only happens after marriage. Some do it jokingly in anticipation, though.

She probably did it JOKINGLY and forgot to remove it or she's still holding on to some grudges or hope that the guy is coming back one day. When baby-momas are involved, you need to be sure you've been told the whole story before you make your decision, most especially if you're not a Nigerian. Our people can be too smart ...do your homework well!

lostgirl85: Red flag, be careful they may be married......

hmmm that ran through my head as well... but I did some digging and he came out clean, than again he is a Nigerian from history of them in relationships they are like snake in the grass that knows how to hide things.

alutacontinua:

Are you 100% sure of that.
I'm asking cos no girl OFFICIALLY bears her boyfriend's surname, let alone 'ex'...that only happens after marriage. Some do it jokingly in anticipation, though.

She probably did it JOKINGLY and forgot to remove it or she's still holding on to some grudges or hope that the guy is coming back one day. When baby-momas are involved, you need to be sure you've been told the whole story before you make your decision, most especially if you're not a Nigerian. Our people can be too smart ...do your homework well!

I am a Nigerien by birth but I did not grew up in Nigeria and lets just say my knowledge when it comes to dating an African is limited, but apart from saying that Nollywood have helped me in that department. Just thought I was worry over silly little things like that.

P.S she comes on facebook like every 3rd day or so and still don't seem to want to change her bloody name, she knows he is relationship with me as well.

Not done here in 9ja, no matter how intimate the r/ship is nobody does dat as far as I have known

LilMizzGood:

I am a Nigerien by birth but I did not grew up in Nigeria and lets just say my knowledge when it comes to dating an African is limited, but apart from saying that Nollywood have helped me in that department. Just thought I was worry over silly little things like that.

P.S she comes on facebook like every 3rd day or so and still don't seem to want to change her bloody name, she knows he is relationship with me as well.

Since you've ruled out the fact that he's MARRIED to her, let's explore other ideas.
Is your fiance still close to her? As in do they still communicate?
Since she knows about your relationship and you have her on your facebook, it's safe to assume that you guys have a form of relationship or the other. How close are you to her

LilMizzGood:

No they were just normal boyfriend and girlfriend.

^^normal bf/gf?
if that's what he claims; he is certainly not telling the whole truth.

If were you,I will check the relationship status of the lady on fb.

But sincerely no girlfriend will drop her own surname for a man who she's not married to either officially or otherwise.

alutacontinua:

Since you've ruled out the fact that he's MARRIED to her, let's explore other ideas.
Is your fiance still close to her? As in do they still communicate?
Since she knows about your relationship and you have her on your facebook, it's safe to assume that you guys have a form of relationship or the other. How close are you to her

From what I have gather about this whole wahala is that.
1. NO they won't married but had a child.
2. Since the break up they have not communicated with each other.
3. He wouldn't have a clue if she goes and see her daughter who lives with his family since he does not live in Nigeria anymore.
4. I don't have her on my facebook, I make sure that no one I don't know in person have me on facebook. I do know her name and since her facebook is not hiding I look through it.

LilMizzGood:

From what I have gather about this whole wahala is that.
1. NO they won't married but had a child.
2. Since the break up they have not communicated with each other.
3. He wouldn't have a clue if she goes and see her daughter who lives with his family since he does not live in Nigeria anymore.
4. I don't have her on my facebook, I make sure that no one I don't know in person have me on facebook. I do know her name and since her facebook is not hiding I look through it.

Well, the truth is you don't have much problems with her, the person you need to talk to is your fiance. I must be sincere with you, when a child is involved, it becomes really complex. If not now, in future! They cannot completely stay away from each other forever. All I can say is that talk to your fiance and let him tell you the FULL STORY! if you suspect any loop-holes, do your background check. questions like: what led to the break-up? Why is the child staying with his parents instead of his/her mother? come to mind. The whole surname thing might be nothing but it could also be everything you need to pull out of this relationship. If the break-up history is not messy, (i.e. she's still not holding on to him one way or the other) and you're sure they're not married, then, she might just be suffering from a bit of delusion.

LilMizzGood:

From what I have gather about this whole wahala is that.
1. NO they won't married but had a child.
2. Since the break up they have not communicated with each other.
3. He wouldn't have a clue if she goes and see her daughter who lives with his family since he does not live in Nigeria anymore.
4. I don't have her on my facebook, I make sure that no one I don't know in person have me on facebook. I do know her name and since her facebook is not hiding I look through it.

Well, the truth is you don't have much problems with her, the person you need to talk to is your fiance. I must be sincere with you, when a child is involved, it becomes really complex. If not now, in future! They cannot completely stay away from each other forever. All I can say is that talk to your fiance and let him tell you the FULL STORY! if you suspect any loop-holes, do your background check. questions like: what led to the break-up? Why is the child staying with his parents instead of his/her mother? come to mind. The whole surname thing might be nothing but it could also be everything you need to pull out of this relationship. If the break-up history is not messy, (i.e. she's still not holding on to him one way or the other) and you're sure they're not married, then, she might just be suffering from a bit of delusion.

LilMizzGood:

hmmm that ran through my head as well... but I did some digging and he came out clean, than again he is a Nigerian from history of them in relationships they are like snake in the grass that knows how to hide things.

Be careful hun I would hate to see you in the situation I'm in...... Check out my first thread if you want details
Good luck xx

alutacontinua:

Well, the truth is you don't have much problems with her, the person you need to talk to is your fiance. I must be sincere with you, when a child is involved, it becomes really complex. If not now, in future! They cannot completely stay away from each other forever. All I can say is that talk to your fiance and let him tell you the FULL STORY! if you suspect any loop-holes, do your background check. questions like: what led to the break-up? Why is the child staying with his parents instead of his/her mother? come to mind. The whole surname thing might be nothing but it could also be everything you need to pull out of this relationship. If the break-up history is not messy, (i.e. she's still not holding on to him one way or the other) and you're sure they're not married, then, she might just be suffering from a bit of delusion.

hmm very interesting post u had.
I'm trying to prevent taking another woman man or child father, I'm trying to prevent my heart from hurting again from another baby mother drama.In my case there is no form of using from him or either of us. He is fully committed to me and our future together ( well so I seemed to believe), the love for each other is there but the fact remains is his baby mother.... I'm going to contact her, all this weeks/months of "stocking" her, I think I should talk to her women to women, black to black, Nigerian to Nigerian before it destroy my plans.

OP ; Ibeg come answer my own surname (n put it on FB) make all these problem end here!!! Hia!!! Nothing person no go come cee 4 NL; Una go dey disturb person sleep! Mtcheeeeew!!!!

OP ; Ibeg come answer my own surname (n put it on FB) make all these problem end here!!! Hia!!! Nothing person no go come cee 4 NL; Una go dey disturb person sleep! Mtcheeeeew

Raymondenyi: OP ; Ibeg come answer my own surname (n put it on FB) make all these problem end here!!! Hia!!! Nothing person no go come cee 4 NL; Una go dey disturb person sleep! Mtcheeeeew

hahaha u dey funny cha, I no blame u at all, if no be 4 hunger striking u, I bet u no fit open dat ur mouth and say "una dey disturb" Come to think of it did I asked u? NO oo, was I in ur dream saying u must come on NL and help answer my question? 4 where.

So oguy I take God beg you to just keep to urself if u no have nothing to say to me.