I never thought i would be saying this ,but here i am.

My husband whom i dated for 8 years and have been married to for under 1 year has turned me into a punching bag.i went through his phone and confronted him via bb msg for a chat he had with a certain female friend and there and then he started landing slaps on me,my head,ear,face etc for more than 6 hrs i have been feeling intense headache.

He apparently has a problem with his family,which he refused to disclose to me about which seems to be annoying him.He beat me mercilessly in the presence of our maid.


I've been of great assistance to him before we got married. Right from our university days, i always shared my pocket money with him,etc. been extremely nice to him even though i have my own human errors.

Looking back now,he always had the signs of wife battery,but in a way,i blame myself,because when i should have left,i discovered i was pregnant thereby being trapped in such a terrible situation.

My parents think i have the best marriage because they are aware of only his good sides,but at home, behind closed doors,he is a demon.

I am living in a nightmare,don't know what to do.

I feel like running away.

pls nairalanders help ,i don't want to be the woman her husband killed.!!!

What are u waiting for?
Just forget what ppl will say brave up and walk out.

divorce is the only way u get out alive

Never ever worry about what people will say. Especially if it has to do with life and death. One thing I have come to realize in this life, is that no matter what you do, whether good or bad people must talk. Right now your life is more important than what people will say.

I cannot advice you on whether to divorce him or not cos I don't want to put asunder what God has joined together. I will advice you take this to the family section, you will get numerous suggestions there and then weigh your options and pick the ones/one that is okay for you.

If you think your husband can change talk to him and seek help from God. Divorce is not as easy as you think because it's the children that end up suffering the consequences of divorce. If you don't think your husband can change then move out in order to save your life.

Dis like d 2nd tym … dis particular story is showing its face on NL...

You knew the signs all along. He was abusive to you when you were dating. I just went through your profile and saw the thread you made last year: https://www.nairaland.com/957132/fiance-verbally-abusive. He was verbally and physically abusive to you then and apparently nothing has changed. Have you had your baby yet? I hope you've not lost him/her due to the abuse. You need to get out, if not for yourself, but for your child. It's time to do what's best for you, your well-being and your child's. This's not the type of environment a child should be raised in. Spousal abuse itself is a type of child abuse. You're not the only one being abused; your child is too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Pray pray pray, and pray some more.......
You don't deserve this form of treatment.Who cares whatbothers say.In the end off all things said, what would you tell your daughter to do if she was in such a situation
There lies your answer.
Blessings to you my dear, you are in my prayers

Go on an emergency holiday till you get the baby delivered from home. He may regain his sanity during the temporary seperation. But don't loose the child. Always pray for him to change. He may be bewitched sef. Who knows?
You just can't give up now, you've gone too far from where you started from. The road won't be easy but I don't think you've gotten this far to be forsaken. Hold on for just that one day when all will be well.

Hope u wll give d same advise when a man is involved?

Yield: You knew the signs all along. He was abusive to you when you were dating. I just went through your profile and saw the thread you made last year: https://www.nairaland.com/957132/fiance-verbally-abusive. He was verbally and physically abusive to you then and apparently nothing has changed. Have you had your baby yet? I hope you've not lost him/her due to the abuse. You need to get out, if not for yourself, but for your child. It's time to do what's best for you, your well-being and your child's. This's not the type of environment a child should be raised in. Spousal abuse itself is a type of child abuse. You're not the only one being abused; your child is too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

They say two wrongs don't make a right but in this case I would make sure that he receives the beating of his life. Inform your family and take it from there. One of the biggest mistakes women make is that they protect their husbands by keeping everything secret. Talk to your family and if he doesn't listen to reason, make sure, he receives the beating of his life. If it doesn't help, send him to hell. Whatever mistake you made in the past by ignoring the signs, NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO TREAT YOU THIS WAY! And don't you even think your flaws are reason enough to beat you up.

Jman06: Hope u wll give d same advise when a man is involved?

For sure. Abuse is abuse, regardless of sex.

Aunty u berra leave and find sumwhere else 2 live. U can b praying for him to change but u ve to take care of urself. If he beats you to death, what will you tell God for dying before your time?

This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud, was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I no fit shout sha...

Ghen Ghen!

See ya life by ur self. Even when the signs were apparent, u still went ahead just because u re preggy. U forced ur self on him he never beat u wait there until he made u an unmarriageable element.

QueenR.A.W:
Pray pray pray, and pray some more.......
You don't deserve this form of treatment.Who cares whatbothers say.In the end off all things said, what would you tell your daughter to do if she was in such a situation
There lies your answer.
Blessings to you my dear, you are in my prayers

what kinda advice is this? what if he beats her while shes praying? silly advice

Sweetie, you need to leave, if he hit you once, he'll hit you a thousand times more.....Get out now alive before you get out dead.

QueenR.A.W:
Pray pray pray, and pray some more.......
You don't deserve this form of treatment.Who cares whatbothers say.In the end off all things said, what would you tell your daughter to do if she was in such a situation
There lies your answer.
Blessings to you my dear, you are in my prayers

Just praying?

Enemies of progress.

Madam poster, make a huge pot of hot apku and pour it on him while he's asleep...........or simply walk away

Mr knowitall.:


what kinda advice is this? what if he beats her while shes praying? silly advice

Maa da lohun. Nitori e ni won fi n pa awa obirin ni naijiriya

If u were really serious about ur life you would have realized tht the time u took in typing ur post would have been easily used to pack ur things and leave the house to ur friend's or parent's house and prepare to file for divorce. Rather u prefer to gather a pity party wv a bunch of online strangers.
Well it's your life, live it as you please. If he beats you to death or burns 99% of ur body tomorrow, another thread myt be opened and we'll comment and Seun will cash in some more..
So whteva... Enjoy

Take him to court if he persist because this is abuse of the highest order infact i see it as abnormal and uncalled for; for a man to raise hand against his wife

#following#

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...



My 2 cents...

Don't understand. Are u the husband? I mean- are u the wife beater she's talking about?

Did I see someone saying pray, pray about what kwanu. Should she pray about more beating or what please explain better.

Most people marry out of pity or what people would say. Your family today are not the one receiving the beating from him. You saw the signs and refused to work on them, the number of years you dated him for cannot be compared to the number of years you would spend in marriage.

My advise for you is that you quit the marriage before he kills you. To those who are patching up there relationships in the hope that he would change better quit before you start telling stories that could have been avoided

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

Are you the husband?

U ladies are so stupid o can swear with my life he must have beaten you wen u were still dating..even b4 u got pregnant ...but u foolishly went and married him thinkin u can change him but it has now back fired........:,,dis is 1 tin u ladies dont understand wen a guy hits u once he definetely going to do it again trust me...i guess u hav to leave or u wind up dead...

BabaAlabi: If you think your husband can change talk to him and seek help from God. Divorce is not as easy as you think because it's the children that end up suffering the consequences of divorce. If you don't think your husband can change then move out in order to save your life.

yea but the children will suffer greater damage if their mother is beaten to death by their father. Talk of greater and life-long pychological damage. So the way I see it, she has to choose between the lesser of two evils. It doesn't matter whatever mistake she made in chosing him now if she has no choice but to get away while she can.
Wife beaters don't change.
He'll never change.no one should advice her to stay and pray for him.it's futile.

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

Good to hear both sides of the Story.

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

Why did you marry her in the first place since you know she doesn't know how to cook and fuc.kkk? Mr man stop beating another man's daughter. If you're not ready for marriage join me in pick and drop sector. #my 8 cents.....