@Uju are you saying since there was an agreement in place, that must be sacrosanct above all and people should not review based on changing life conditions

Also if i may ask aside, your acquaintance who is living in abj, i was curious about the 'hell on earth' description
is she different from those who live in lag who have hubbies in remote locations or is it about Abuja and the male attention there

Do you know that half of those who live in Abj don't actually live in abj? Most can only afford to pay rent on really remote areas very far away from town where they work.

Public transport is not as organized in abj as it is in lagos so going to and from work is not very easy for those without their own cars. Then try adding the cost and stress of child care.

One thing is sure, if I were in that position, I won't even bother. I'll jeje resign my job and go and stay with hubby. If na garri we see chop, good!

Ujujoan:

Did he say Nigeria was an option BEFORE they got married. This is a very serious lifestyle change . . . It's not changing houses, it's changing environment/lifestyle.

The man took a big risk without a back up plan, he should live with that.

Uju but people should learn to be a bit flexible naw.As I said am not too sure on why he was the one who relocated but at least he moved unlike your Abj friend.No one is saying anyone's life should end when they get married (and this goes for the guy in this case) but sometimes in a marriage you cant just be rigid and say its my way or no way.

My husband warned me over the weekend to watch myself .So if it escalates further It wont be Dami even said bla bla.He believes they both have to talk and sort it between themselves as it affects them both.

Oh i get you now... its not easy
May God help us

Ujujoan: Do you know that half of those who live in Abj don't actually live in abj? Most can only afford to pay rent on really remote areas very far away from town where they work.

Public transport is not as organized in abj as it is in lagos so going to and from work is not very easy for those without their own cars. Then try adding the cost and stress of child care.

One thing is sure, if I were in that position, I won't even bother. I'll jeje resign my job and go and stay with hubby. If na garri we see chop, good!

damiso:

Uju but people should learn to be a bit flexible naw.As I said am not too sure on why he was the one who relocated but at least he moved unlike your Abj friend.No one is saying anyone's life should end when they get married (and this goes for the guy in this case) but sometimes in a marriage you cant just be rigid and say its my way or no way.

My husband warned me over the weekend to watch myself .So if it escalates further It wont be Dami even said bla bla.He believes they both have to talk and sort it between themselves as it affects them both.

I agree with you completely, people should be flexible.

But the husband is going about it the wrong way . . . he should have talked it over with her before going for the job interview. Whatever decision he makes will drastically change her life too, so going ahead with the interview without letting her know was very selfish and cowardly of him (my apologies).

Now she really has no choice but to let him take the job. Even Nlders who know nothing about them already think she's an evil wife. Her right to decide has been taken away from her. . . that's unfair!

She may have known.. no be interview?

How many people don fail interview tire... so that was not the bridge

the bridge is now...

To take up the offer or NOT

Some coys are notorious for scheduling you for 4 interviews before they even call you for medical...

This thread just serves to highlight the growing importance of the female voice in marriages.
Both parties are kind of justified in their position really. They will need to work at it to find a middle ground, else they can agree to disagree, and split.

Even at the risk of the marriage ending, nobody should be forced to agree to anything.

I read all the comments and many made valid points. Let me add a few line of mine from experience because, i have lived in Nigeria, Uk and US.

My advice is that, the wife should stay put in UK for the sake of the children's education and good health benefits to build a better future for them, while the man relocates back to Nigeria and be visiting. With the political unrest in Nigeria presently, nobody safety can be guaranteed. Security is still much better in these developed countries than Nigeria. In this way, they would have 2 homes, and can escape to any of them incase of any brouhaha.

Yes, infidelity should not be ruled out, since people can cheat regardless where they are, but with what i see in Nigeria,it would take a disciplined and God-fearing married man living alone not to fall into temptation! It's a cross the wife would have to carry on her shoulder,while on her knees praying that the daughters of Jezebel would not turn his eyes away from his family and responsibilities.

I wish your friend the best, in whatever decision she takes.

Nice one... but you funny die...daughters of jesebel lol...

Ibhamen: I read all the comments and many made valid points. Let me add a few line of mine from experience because, i have lived in Nigeria, Uk and US.

My advice is that, the wife should stay put in UK for the sake of the children's education and good health benefits to build a better future for them, while the man relocates back to Nigeria and be visiting. With the political unrest in Nigeria presently, nobody safety can be guaranteed. Security is still much better in these developed countries than Nigeria. In this way, they would have 2 homes, and can escape to any of them incase of any brouhaha.

Yes, infidelity should not be ruled out, since people can cheat regardless where they are, but with what i see in Nigeria,it would take a disciplined and God-fearing married man living alone not to fall into temptation! It's a cross the wife would have to carry on her shoulder,while on her knees praying that the daughters of Jezebel would not turn his eyes away from his family and responsibilities.

I wish your friend the best, in whatever decision she takes.

Expect by Jazz, no daughter of Jezebel can turn a man's eyes away from his family and responsibilities.

what if the man wanted tobe turned?

biolabee: what if the man wanted tobe turned?

Then the 'innocent' daughters of Jezebel should not be blamed

bukatyne:

Then the 'innocent' daughters of Jezebel should not be blamed

They r never jesebel to me
Everything God created is gooooooood

biolabee:

They r never jesebel to me
Everything God created is gooooooood

A more appropriate reference is Stella Damascus.

The crying babe

The husband snatcher.