Suppose your friend who is 27 years old admits to have never gotten a boyfriend, kissed a guy or have a guy admire her. How would you help her change this? Is this normal?

This is my situation with this friend of mine.

Granted she is very fat, and she never puts much into her physical appearance. Like make-up, hair and clothes.

She looks dowdy and has low self-esteem...and thinks she is ugly. She has always had a tough time with being attractive to guys and this started from her time in secondary school...i.e. being class "outcast," dirty girl everyone avoided, etc.

Nigerian girl for that matter!

How common is this issue among Nigerian girls?

I don't know how to begin to make her change her attitude or views towards herself and make her get over these things!

Kind of tired of her self-pitying ways.

Very abnormal!
Especially the no guy admires her part.
I'll wait for the advisers to arrive.
For the mean time, i'll be chopping pop-corn.

alutacontinua: Very abnormal!
Especially the no guy admires her part.
I'll wait for the advisers to arrive.
For the mean time, i'll be chopping pop-corn.

*takes a sit beside her, drinking soda*

^^^una dey fear to advise?

For real tho, I also think it's strange, but I want to help her too.

@OP, it is really abnormal. Being fat can not be the problem. I used to a friend in school, she was fat also but she attracted dudes. Infact, it came to a point that she became selective of who to go out with.
From your post, i guess two things are wrong here. First, is her refusing to dress as she should and secondly is her low self esteem. And the latter is worse than the former.
And as her friend, you will be helpful by your constant encouragement. There are ways you can make her dress fine and boost her self confidence.

litgirl22: ^^^una dey fear to advise?

but why¿ My post is above this one.

A reason for being so unattractive, obsessed with low self esteem could be attributed to parental failure. They shud have observed this in their child at an earlier age. Now the only advise I can render is for her to make[b] conscious attempt to some weight[/b], go out more often and be very confident when talking to both sexes

it might take a a long time to gain her confidence n self-esteem (maybe years), but if she persevere, she will get there.

@ 27? Very abnormal and OP hw did u know she has never been admired

She is very fat?She has never dated...Something wrong some with her and it is very abnormal..

Who doest knw d fat gal is d OP

mitwitdot: A reason for being so unattractive, obsessed with low self esteem could be attributed to parental failure. They shud have observed this in their child at an earlier age. Now the only advise I can render is for her to make[b] conscious attempt to some weight[/b], go out more often and be very confident when talking to both sexes

it might take a a long time to gain her confidence n self-esteem (maybe years), but if she persevere, she will get there.

'parental failure'

Some dudes can talk sha!

Arrant nonsense...

Let's analyse ut 'no-basis' claim:

If parental failure causes the low esteem(i agree it could), will it stop suitors from approaching her outside?

The truth is, as dirty as a girl might seem, u will see some guys loloking for a free puccy. They will fucck her at nights if the days time might shame them! Even cripple famles dnt remain virgins!

The OP clearly sais she has neva been admired! Even the pretty ones get fake admiration from guys who just wanna lay them to fucck! She shld at least get one!

parental failure + low self esteem my foot!

The gurl is cursed! Period!

She shld go for deliverance!

SLIDE waxie: 'parental failure'

Some dudes can talk sha!

Arrant nonsense...

Let's analyse ut 'no-basis' claim:

If parental failure causes the low esteem(i agree it could), will it stop suitors from approaching her outside?

The truth is, as dirty as a girl might seem, u will see some guys loloking for a free puccy. They will fucck her at nights if the days time might shame them! Even cripple famles dnt remain virgins!

The OP clearly sais she has neva been admired! Even the pretty ones get fake admiration from guys who just wanna lay them to fucck! She shld at least get one!

parental failure + low self esteem my foot!

The gurl is cursed! Period!

She shld go for deliverance!

damn!! So on point... Oya chop knuckles

Very Very Unussual,And She Need A Traditional Healing

OP, if u're the fat girl here, it is very easy for u but if u're not I fear u may not be able to convey my excellent advice to ur fat friend. Anyhow, I just must help u, tell ur friend or if it's u that she/u need(s) a....











































Cool shot on the fore head.

jhydebaba: OP, if u're the fact girl here, it is very easuy for u but if u're not I fear u may not be able to convey my excellent advice to ur fat friend. Anyhow I just must help u, tell ur friend or if it's u that she/u need(s) a....











































Cool shot on the fore head.

chai u dy para o..
Op kp on advicing her.let her build that self confidence first and if possible let her hit d gym.

Op, it's not abnormal, considering her looks and attitude.Your friend has to approach life differently. First she has to believe in herself and work on her self esteem. Only then can she surmount her obvious inferiority complex.
She has to build herself mentally and socially by reading wide and watching good programs so she can confidently make intelligent conversation when she has company. Intelligence and wit can also attract a man.
Secondly, Weight and uncleanliness are not permanent attributes. She has to work on both. The dirtiness especially cos it is a sure turn-off. Advise her to get rid of the dirt totally, dat shouldn't be difficult. Weight-loss however requires discipline. Diet, exercise etc.
Thirdly her appearance has to always be on point. Shez alredy disadvantaged in the looks department, so she owes herself a duty to dress well and take care of her hair, nails, teeth. A light feminine colonge would also help.

God did not make a mistake in creating us the way we are. So there is no point self-hating. Ignore ur shortcomings, Make the most of ur strong point, Always look for ways to improve yourself. Read informative/inspirational books and watch/listen to good programs, Go for couselling if you must, Make physical and mental exercise a daily routine.
No matter what you are facing in life, Never say die. Even if u are physically challenged -You have ur life, ur mind is intact and ur health is sound. Just pick urself up and start doing things differently. It is never too late to get back on track, just make sure u are on the right one. No matter how bad a man's past is, his future is spotless.

Your friend should get up and take charge of her life. 27 is a good age to make a turn around. The ball is in her court.

Is it abnormal? No!
Can she change it? Yes. Tell her to clean up. Fat dont scare guys, poor hygiene does.

Somehow it sounds abnormal.
But she can change...
She should work on her self esteem which is very important

Every other tinz will follow

Interesting!

Lol, sometimes I feel like cutting her off....

SLIDE waxie: 'parental failure'

Some dudes can talk sha!

Arrant nonsense...

Let's analyse ut 'no-basis' claim:

If parental failure causes the low esteem(i agree it could), will it stop suitors from approaching her outside?

The truth is, as dirty as a girl might seem, u will see some guys loloking for a free puccy. They will fucck her at nights if the days time might shame them! Even cripple famles dnt remain virgins!

The OP clearly sais she has neva been admired! Even the pretty ones get fake admiration from guys who just wanna lay them to fucck! She shld at least get one!

parental failure + low self esteem my foot!

The gurl is cursed! Period!

She shld go for deliverance!

I took her out to go shopping once and swore never to do it again.

Let's just leave it at dat.

But now I feel bad for putting her out here like dat.

idnoble135: @OP, it is really abnormal. Being fat can not be the problem. I used to a friend in school, she was fat also but she attracted dudes. Infact, it came to a point that she became selective of who to go out with.
From your post, i guess two things are wrong here. First, is her refusing to dress as she should and secondly is her low self esteem. And the latter is worse than the former.
And as her friend, you will be helpful by your constant encouragement. There are ways you can make her dress fine and boost her self confidence.

Commot for hia !

jhydebaba: OP, if u're the fat girl here, it is very easy for u but if u're not I fear u may not be able to convey my excellent advice to ur fat friend. Anyhow, I just must help u, tell ur friend or if it's u that she/u need(s) a....











































Cool shot on the fore head.

litgirl22: Commot for hia !

Hey dear! Don't take it personal.

Abnormal? A lie from the pit of hell. However if the issue is , that she does not or has never had admirers then that is where the problem lies and this might be as a result of spiritual battles because even a lady with the worst character might have dated two or three guys to get jilted by them but if she gets enough or even more than enough admirers yet refused to date due to the fear of God, she is very normal. It shows that she respects God and strives to abide in pleasing Him always.

I am above 27 and have never been in a relationship. It is absolutely normal. Everyone got their own timing

jmoore: I am above 27 and have never been in a relationship. It is absolutely normal. Everyone got their own timing

you dey compare yourself with woman?

lets wait for her to get to 40 if no responsible guy show den we use her for sacrifice.

Itz absolutely abnormal!!being fat isn't d problem at all..u said shez ur fwnd,4 aw long??i beg,drag d gurl out jawe,let ha make up n dress ha up..let ha knw she shouldn't b intimidated by any1..knwin d type of fwnds i av o,they can't let dat happen 2 me...if u are gud fwnd.do sumfin fast itz getting late!

post her picture , if i can manage , ill give her the D