Why is nagging so common among women of these generation? Its so annoyingly annoying

Ujujoan:

His father advised them against marrying a woman like their mother, I don't think their marriage was perfect.

perfect advice...
he advised them not to marry a woman that would not cater for her kids. she could have been a perfect wife but a poor excuse of a mother. read between the lines.

I also don't think the woman was rich all through the marriage. Like most couples, they must have started off as a normal husband-main breadwinner family. Somewhere along the line, mum became a rich biz woman. Maybe she was just acting out because of how the man treated her when she had nothing.

i can understand if she's stingy to her husband but she's stingy to her own children. what kinda mother is that? any mother that did not contribute a penny in making me what i am today deserves nothing from me.

i have to see the hard-work & the contributions put in by both parents - i did not beg them to bring me into this world so all that excuses you keep cooking up for her are watery....

I'm just speculating, nobody knows the full story, but I find it very difficult to believe that a woman can be that cold for nothing!.

there are millions of them out there - women whose wombs should be taken from them by the government and given to women who know the value of children.

PS: I'm not justifying her actions, I just don't want to condemn her because I don't know the full story.

this is no hearsay - it came directly from the child that got the mistreatment. why would anyone make up stuff about his mother on a public forum?

I try not to comment on issues like this because there`s usually the other side of the story (which most times is not presented by the other party on this forum). I recall a similar scenario where the wife later came on to give her own side of the story leading to divided views.
@ OP. I suggest you have a decisive discussion with your wife on how to manage your family finances and agree on what is of utmost priorities and the consequences thereof. Request, examine and analyze all financial transactions relating to the business you set up for her. The business IMO ought to be a "fall back position" for you and your family pendng when things take shape again.
Divorce has never solved any marital problem. Just be the man you are and I pray that God should honour and restore you once again even unto higher grounds in Jesus name.

Ujujoan:

so so cold . . .

Then I guess that's where we are different . .

I don't quantify my mum's love with material things! I don't hold a grudge against the woman who bore and nurtured me the best way she can, just because she didn't buy me shoes.

When dad had to work late nights, who was there for me? When I was scared and lonely, who was there for me? Those sickly nights nko, who was there to hold me through the night fevers? These are things that no amount of money can buy!

My dad is late as well and every dime I spend on my mum, I spend it gladly because I know that if he had been alive he would have done much more for her. You see not only did he provide for us, his children, he provided for her as well . . . Even though she was working, Dad provided for her every need the best way he could. OF course she had to go without a lot of things because our upkeep came first. As an 'ori aku' , she had to let go of so many luxuries because of us and she did that gladly. That was her own way of making sacrifices and we appreciated it.

Dad's dream was for all his children to become independent so that he will have enough time and money to take care of the woman he loved. HE never got to actualize that dream . . . so we all do it for him, the best way we can!

So yes, she may not have been a big spender, but she is the best mum ever!

Anyways, our situations were clearly different, cos while mum was a civil servant, Dad had a successful law practice. So I guess he had the money to spend!

my dad was the best dad ever, yes my mum bore us and am also a mum of 3 beautiful angels but wud neva leave it all to my husband. never! ever! even if he is dangote.motherhood is not just about bearing children but nurturing them which my dad as an educationist was an expert in. he would pray for us all from 12am to 3am everyday (am not lying) but my mum wud rather issue curses on u at every mistake u make. he wud follow me to my jamb centre and wait till i finish my exams while my mum wud be at a party or biz. i tell u there are women like that! i can go on and on am not holding any grudge against her but my dad was our father and our mother. i remember when i got admission to a university abroad, my mum told my dad to use the money to buy a car and allow me attend a university here in naij abeg i dont want to go all out. my point is its not spiritual, its an attitude

coogar:

how did you come to this conclusion?
is it not obvious she had a self-centred mother who would rather buy jewelries or expensive dishes instead of contributing to the welfare of her kids?

if i have a mother like hers, she won't get one penny from me.

thank u coogar.
its hard to believe but we actually experienced that and till now she has not changed
my dad is late but he struggled to leave some inheritance for his family. which we dare not ask our mum about
she is in control of everything now even though she did not contribute a kobo to support him while struggling to put those things in place.
i know most of these things cos am the firstborn and very close to my dad.
i remember when he told me that he married for beauty cos my mum is very beautiful and did not check her character.
i miss my dad everyday and wish he was here so that i can make him smile daily

God will comfort you continually and you will achioeve all he ever wanted for u and ur siblings

modupsie:

my dad was the best dad ever, yes my mum bore us and am also a mum of 3 beautiful angels but wud neva leave it all to my husband. never! ever! even if he is dangote.motherhood is not just about bearing children but nurturing them which my dad as an educationist was an expert in. he would pray for us all from 12am to 3am everyday (am not lying) but my mum wud rather issue curses on u at every mistake u make. he wud follow me to my jamb centre and wait till i finish my exams while my mum wud be at a party or biz. i tell u there are women like that! i can go on and on am not holding any grudge against her but my dad was our father and our mother. i remember when i got admission to a university abroad, my mum told my dad to use the money to buy a car and allow me attend a university here in naij abeg i dont want to go all out. my point is its not spiritual, its an attitude

I'm sorry about your experience, I guess you did have it rough.

But I refuse to believe that a woman not providing for her children financially makes her a bad mother. I'm talking from my own experience . . .

hohafrank: I am 'fortunate' to marry a nagging wife.We never agree on any issue.Any issue relating to my extended family does not concern her.She always wants to involve me in her own extended family-cousins,grandfather and grandmother affairs.Initially I was involving in all her affairs naturally.When I realized that my family affairs does not interest her,I decided to put a stop to participating in her family affairs financially.We are 8 years in marriage.She nag alots and does anything to run me down financially.I open a beautique shop for her when I LOST my job with the hope that the proceeds will be used to take care of domestic expenses.She hyjacked the business.She never spent a dial for her children upkeep let alone making a contribution for the children school fees.She spent money on her people.She does not play any specific role in the running of the home.I evatually buy everything up to salt and DPK.Iam considering divorcing her.NL please advise.

just like dat ?



guy na weak men dey do wetin you wan do so

coogar:

perfect advice...
he advised them not to marry a woman that would not cater for her kids. she could have been a perfect wife but a poor excuse of a mother. read between the lines.

i can understand if she's stingy to her husband but she's stingy to her own children. what kinda mother is that? any mother that did not contribute a penny in making me what i am today deserves nothing from me.

i have to see the hard-work & the contributions put in by both parents - i did not beg them to bring me into this world so all that excuses you keep cooking up for her are watery....

there are millions of them out there - women whose wombs should be taken from them by the government and given to women who know the value of children.

this is no hearsay - it came directly from the child that got the mistreatment. why would anyone make up stuff about his mother on a public forum?

Contributions doesn't have to be financial alone . . . What of mothers who don't have any source of income? Are they bad mums too

Actually, I'm not here to argue about this issue, especially with you. Whatever works for a couple is fine.

Like I said, I grew up knowing dad as the sole provider, and I don't respect my mum any less!

Things are a bit different in my own home because I have to buy diapers and formula by myself

But I still don't think I'm a better mum to my child than my own mother was to me.

Ujujoan:
Contributions doesn't have to be financial alone . . . What of mothers who don't have any source of income? Are they bad mums too ??

mothers who don't have a source of income can be excused. what they lack in funds, they provide in care - care is also contribution. the mother in this instance had money and refused to spend on her own kids. shame on such mothers....

Actually, I'm not here to argue about this issue, especially with you. Whatever works for a couple is fine. Like I said, I grew up knowing dad as the sole provider, and I don't respect my mum any less!

what do you mean by a sole provider? your mum has never given you anything since you were born? when she makes money, she would rather spend on frivolities than on you? when will you ever compare like for like?

Things are a bit different in my own home because I have to buy diapers and formula by myself
But I still don't think I'm a better mum to my child than my own mother was to me.

go & sit down, you are ignorant!

coogar:

mothers who don't have a source of income can be excused. what they lack in funds, they provide in care - care is also contribution. the mother in this instance had money and refused to spend on her own kids. shame on such mothers....



what do you mean by a sole provider? your mum has never given you anything since you were born? when she makes money, she would rather spend on frivolities than on you? when will you ever compare like for like?



go & sit down, you are ignorant!

Mumu . . . I know you want to talk, but I don't have your time today.

waka pass o jare . .

Ujujoan:
Mumu . . . I know you want to talk, but I don't have your time today.
waka pass o jare . .

let me go & call pataki for you......he's the one with your whip and leash.

modupsie:

thank u coogar.
its hard to believe but we actually experienced that and till now she has not changed
my dad is late but he struggled to leave some inheritance for his family. which we dare not ask our mum about
she is in control of everything now even though she did not contribute a kobo to support him while struggling to put those things in place.
i know most of these things cos am the firstborn and very close to my dad.
i remember when he told me that he married for beauty cos my mum is very beautiful and did not check her character.
i miss my dad everyday and wish he was here so that i can make him smile daily

I'm actually shedding tears.
Waoh! What a mother!

I have heard of women like that before.

I heard one had a child for a poor man later went to marry a rich man and had 2 kids for him. Dumped the first set of kids with her elder sister so they wont disturb her in the new rich mans house. And she would insult the first set of kids she had for the poor man that their father was useless and even tried to pit her own children against one another.

Things like "That top you are wearing is your younger sisters, Is she the one that said your own father should be poor"?

^^^ Pathetic of a mother to say the least....She is extremely myopic and ignorant of the values of life.. I pray the children of poor man grow up to become great to her disappointment and shame...

I don't think this woman still loves you, or ever did. Your worth was tied to you having a job. It appears the only control you ever had over your woman was by you having money. You should know how to assert your authority as the head of the house with or without money. If she cannot provide for the family when you are down, take the boutique away from her and manage the place yourself. At least everyone will benefit from it.

taryour: Oga o. Some women can be so silly and heartless. Those family she is spending on,when issues arise you see them removing themselves one after the other. Op hope you have gotten another job? If yes please find a means of getting her out of that shop,lock it up and let her have access to getting in there,what rubbish If the means of getting money to spend is being cut she will regain her senses. Or simply covert the shop to another avenue of raising money for yourself and your kids.

A woman that doesn't take her hubby and kids as her number one priority is not a wife. Shebi na the boutique and the money from it that's making her feel like a champion. Cut her wings and let's see her fly.

This!


Lock the boutique with a big padlock then collect the keys from her.

Op u said u buy everything but u didnt tell us how u get the money to since u lost ur job.

Someone made a very valid point. How did u treat this ur wife when things were good for you? Her actions might be bassed on that. Its hard to tell.

Chillisauce:


This!


Lock the boutique with a big padlock then collect the keys from her.

My dear how could you suggest a thing like that? Why would you advise him to use violence? Ofcourse that will cause chaos in the marriage the more. The wife is already following the wrong path and you still want this man to join her by doing such thing. This is marriage we are talking about, a case between a husband and wife, and not a case between oga and boiboi. Please violence does not keep a home, it scatters it or brings emotional abuse. Your advise is not healthy please. Violence must stay out of marriage, is not allowed in the institution of marriage. The man should do no such thing. He should humbly settle things as christ does to his church for that is the quality of a head, HUMLITY and LOVE.

parisienne: Op u said u buy everything but u didnt tell us how u get the money to since u lost ur job.

Someone made a very valid point. [b]How did u treat this ur wife when things were good for you? [/b]Her actions might be bassed on that. Its hard to tell.

he opened a boutique for her when things were good!
read the post again abeg

----:
Oga o. Some women can be so silly and heartless. Those family she is spending on,when issues arise you see them removing themselves one after the other. Op hope you have gotten another job? If yes please find a means of getting her out of that shop,lock it up and let her have access to getting in there,what rubbish If the means of getting money to spend is being cut she will regain her senses. Or simply covert the shop to another avenue of raising money for yourself and your kids.

A woman that doesn't take her hubby and kids as her number one priority is not a wife. Shebi na the boutique and the money from it that's making her feel like a champion. Cut her wings and let's see her fly.

I can't believe that I heard women asking for the lady's shop to be locked up---what is that "Cut her wings and let's see her fly?" Did I really see that here? We are only hearing a side of the story which may shift if we hear from the wife herself.
I hope the woman in question isn't really doing all that. Asking for her wing to be cut etc? Please a woman in marriage is not in prison or in a slave/master relationship in which she should be subdued and tamed at certain times. She is a human being biko. I don't like it when marriage is made to sound like a prison or something with statements like these and women having this kind of notion isn't the best, a woman married to a man has got dignity please and not a worthless human being whose wing can be cut.

@Poster
It sounds unbelievable that a mother can not want to share or give for the good of her kids. If what you wrote are real then let such persons like your marriage sponsors(if they are mature minded enough to advice her good), your priest or a good minded/mature close relative of yours arbitrate. She may have grown with the notion that only a man provides for the family and if she hears otherwise from other adults she will be enlightened of course.

hohafrank:
I am 'fortunate' to marry a nagging wife.We never agree on any issue.Any issue relating to my extended family does not concern her.She always wants to involve me in her own extended family-cousins,grandfather and grandmother affairs.Initially I was involving in all her affairs naturally.When I realized that my family affairs does not interest her,I decided to put a stop to participating in her family affairs financially.We are 8 years in marriage.She nag alots and does anything to run me down financially.I open a beautique shop for her when I LOST my job with the hope that the proceeds will be used to take care of domestic expenses.She hyjacked the business.She never spent a dial for her children upkeep let alone making a contribution for the children school fees.She spent money on her people.She does not play any specific role in the running of the home.I evatually buy everything up to salt and DPK.Iam considering divorcing her.NL please advise.

if ur story is true, please divorce her now before it's too late at or towards ur old age.

hohafrank:
I am 'fortunate' to marry a nagging wife.We never agree on any issue.Any issue relating to my extended family does not concern her.She always wants to involve me in her own extended family-cousins,grandfather and grandmother affairs.Initially I was involving in all her affairs naturally.When I realized that my family affairs does not interest her,I decided to put a stop to participating in her family affairs financially.We are 8 years in marriage.She nag alots and does anything to run me down financially.I open a beautique shop for her when I LOST my job with the hope that the proceeds will be used to take care of domestic expenses.She hyjacked the business.She never spent a dial for her children upkeep let alone making a contribution for the children school fees.She spent money on her people.She does not play any specific role in the running of the home.I evatually buy everything up to salt and DPK.Iam considering divorcing her.NL please advise.

if ur story is true, please divorce her now before it's too late at or towards ur old age. women like her are the reason most married men die before their time.

Have you divorced your wife yet?

hohafrank:
I am 'fortunate' to marry a nagging wife.We never agree on any issue.Any issue relating to my extended family does not concern her.She always wants to involve me in her own extended family-cousins,grandfather and grandmother affairs.Initially I was involving in all her affairs naturally.When I realized that my family affairs does not interest her,I decided to put a stop to participating in her family affairs financially.We are 8 years in marriage.She nag alots and does anything to run me down financially.I open a beautique shop for her when I LOST my job with the hope that the proceeds will be used to take care of domestic expenses.She hyjacked the business.She never spent a dial for her children upkeep let alone making a contribution for the children school fees.She spent money on her people.She does not play any specific role in the running of the home.I evatually buy everything up to salt and DPK.Iam considering divorcing her.NL please advise.